en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2440673 Comments by emr5251 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/04/17/voices-from-the-classroom-151/#IDComment342699068 I know that I have no personal or individual experience or relation to this topic being straight, but I would assume that coming out is probably a difficult process in the first place, no matter who your parents are. But I would think that it would be so much easier to come out to parents who are gay rather than parents who are gay. First of all, they know exactly what it is like to have to do the same thing, only for them it was probably even more difficult because their generation is less accepting and not as used to the idea as ours is. They would be able to help you along and maybe talk you through it. In movies or TV shows, parents who aren’t expecting it or have no idea how to deal with LGBT issues are usually confused and have no idea who to process what their kids just said to them when they come out. If one were to have gay parents, they probably could have already known that you were gay, and could maybe sense that you were struggling with the fact. And if one were struggling with the fact, gay parents would probably have a better knowledge base of people they could talk to or places they could go to get help or to feel a part of the LGBT community. It is definitely a generalization to say that gay parents would understand a lot better than straight parents, because there very well could be exceptions. I know of and have heard of parents who are very open minded and accepting of the fact that their son or daughter is gay. I feel like it is important for a parent to be like that, because it is something that they have no control over, nor can they change it, so being hostile toward their own child seems pointless to me. A reason I think that it would be harder to come out to your parents if they are straight is maybe because you have no idea how your parents would react or how they feel about the situation, because it isn’t a topic that has ever come up in discussion before. Parents could be a lot more accepting of the fact than one would know and they could be scared for no reason at all. On the other hand, when one knows that his or her parents are completely against it, for personal or religious reasons, that is definitely the hardest to deal with. It saddens me to hear stories of how people are so scared to come out to their parents or even friends. If you are able to be comfortable with it there is so much good that you can do for others struggling with the same thing. Thu, 19 Apr 2012 15:26:26 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/04/17/voices-from-the-classroom-151/#IDComment342699068 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/04/10/voices-from-the-classroom-146/#IDComment338312964 Fear is something that we all experience at some point in our lives- with some it is every day, and some only in certain situations. I am definitely the type of person that gives into fear easily. There are so many factors that go into what makes us fear our everyday lives- such as the media, entertainment, our environment, and our parents. All of these factors contribute to the ways we view fear and how we can handle it. So many crime shows are on TV right now, and the reason why they are so successful is because people can really get into the topics that they are about. They always target murder, rape, robbery, kidnapping, etc, yet Sam showed us that those are actually the least common crimes that are being committed in reality. The media obviously picks up on our fascination of fear, and interest in it, because the only stories we see being reported about in the news are what crimes are happening- rarely anything positive. Environment is a huge reason why people can be more fearful than others. We discussed this in my group especially. Depending on where we live can determine how cautious we are. For example, I live in a very small town, where major crimes are rare but have happened. Most things reported are robberies, and drug crime. However not even twenty minutes away from me is a city filled with recent crime breakouts. I know what areas I am more comfortable in than others. I think my parents are very affected by fear. My mom always worries about all of her kids, scared that something could happen while we are away. My dad is always overly cautious and makes sure every door in the house locked. That mindset has carried over with me. No matter what the statistics may be, people are going to fear how and what they want to fear. Here at school, where the most crime that is committed is alcohol related, most of us students don’t worry about crime at all. There are girls walking around downtown alone late at night, students not locking their dorm and apartment doors, people get drunk and destroy things. While I don’t think we should live our lives scared of what could happen all of the time, because there is a chance anything could happen, but I do think we need to just be careful. Something could happen in even the nicest of neighborhoods. It is relieving to know, however, that statistics of these crimes have gone down since the time when our parents were young, maybe that can give some people a sense of security. I know it made me feel a little bit better about our society these days. Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:08:41 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/04/10/voices-from-the-classroom-146/#IDComment338312964 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/04/03/voices-from-the-classroom-141/#IDComment333281781 The way women dress and how they and others view them in regards to respect is always a topic that people like to talk about it and always have different opinions. I personally do not have much knowledge about the muslim religion, culture, or customs. I just know that when it comes to the way we dress, it greatly differs. It is hard to say if a girl dresses a certain way, that it is because she respects herself enough that she is comfortable, or if it is because of the total opposite. Sometimes girls dress the way they do, that is looked down upon by others, because of their own personal self esteem, and it is the only way that they can feel good about themselves. While I feel that girls will dress the way that they want to and that is their own choice, it is really hard to sometimes not make a judgement about their character in certain situations. People love to throw the blame on the girl wearing something too revealing or sexy and immediately call her a whore. I have heard it all the time here, my friends have done it, and I have done it. But writing about this makes me think twice about what I say and think because it is not fair to that person that we don’t even know. While I am not one to wear overly revealing clothes maybe other girls that are more modest dressers than me and my friends are thinking wow she looks like a slut because of what she is wearing. It is all in what we are used to ourselves. I don’t think that is fair at all. Something that really bothers me is when people think that women are to blame for the negative attention and that people think girls like being called sluts and whores, or like being put into awful situations due to how guys perceive them dressed like that. For example, the widely known idea of people thinking “she wanted it because of how she looks” when a girl gets raped. That is completely rude and horrible to think. Women are going to continue to dress the way they want no matter what most people say. And if they respect themselves in the process, then what is really going to stop them from doing that? As long as our celebrities and the people we look up to keep dressing a certain way, so will the women in our society. There is a time and a place for every type of dress, so to me as long as it is appropriate for where you are, then dress how you want to dress. Fri, 6 Apr 2012 19:40:16 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/04/03/voices-from-the-classroom-141/#IDComment333281781 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/03/27/voices-from-the-classroom-136/#IDComment327187867 When the movie was first played in class, I initially did not think about the race factor within it. I laughed at parts, just as most others in the class. As the video went on, I realized that the reporter was actually targeting a certain group of students- Asian international students who weren’t very Americanized, and did not know a whole lot about their school’s football program. So I guess you could look at it from both of those perspectives. Whether it is that you thought that it was intended to be racist against Asians specifically, or if it was meant to target those who didn’t know anything about football. While the white guy in class who made a statement could have maybe worded what he meant differently, he had somewhat of a point. There are so many other videos out there like that, and unfortunately that is what people in our society find funny. I did feel for the Asian girl in our class who spoke up about it, because she was really offended and you could tell that it was kind of embarrassing for her, at least that is what I got from it. In that case, I felt badly for laughing at it. However, when the Asian guy said that he was not offended, it seemed to be fine in that case, just because he is Asian. It seemed clear to me that the white guy was getting called out just for the fact that he is white, but no one wanted to react to the Asian guy who thought it wasn’t offensive. I think this was because they had different things to say about it. The white guy said the video was funny, and that this is what American comedy was like. The Asian guy simply said he didn’t think that the reporter was trying to be racist, or trying to make fun of the Asian accent- just that he was showing international students who had no idea about their football team or program and USC. I don’t really know or can’t say whether I think the “white” guy in class was right for saying what he did, he was just voicing his opinion. And so was everyone else who said what they thought about it. I do think he was kind of being attacked though. It goes to show that Sam is right when he says that everyone typically wants to avoid talking about race to more or less stay out of trouble. Then we have people in class who voice their opinions and want to have a conversation but get shut down because wasn’t the safe thing to say. Mixing comedy with racism is usual in our society today, and it is hard to see where someone will cross the line. Thu, 29 Mar 2012 16:00:20 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/03/27/voices-from-the-classroom-136/#IDComment327187867 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/03/21/voices-from-the-classroom-126/#IDComment322032584 I think I can relate to the person asking this question a lot. I also grew up in a pretty small town that was a mostly white community. There would be some diversity here and there because the surrounding town and city had a larger black and brown population, and sometimes they would move to my town. I went to a small catholic school, where most of the students were white; however, with the little diversity that existed, it didn’t really faze me at all. One of my closest friends while in that school was a black guy a year older than me. We rode the bus home together every day, talked on the phone, kind of shared everything together. I considered him one of my best friends. I believe that experience helped shape how I view matters of race when I become older and went to the public high school. I would say I could consider myself in “Stage 2” because while I am comfortable with people of a different race, I know that I certainly do not know everything, and try to be correct if addressing something having to do with another race- mostly because I am just the type of person who doesn’t want to offend anyone, not necessarily just someone of another race than mine. When I got to high school, there was a lot more diversity there, yet even still being not as diverse as most other schools. There seemed to be a great deal of separation, because most of the black and brown people tended to have a different way of behaving and a belief that maybe they were expected to act in a stereotypical way. This is where I began to see a distance between myself and people of a different race, simply because they acted as if they didn’t want anything to do with me, and that I couldn’t really relate to them. This time in my life, however, also started shaping me into a different stage that Sam was talking about. I don’t know if anyone else feels the same way, but while being at a stage 2 type place in my life, I also felt that I am also in the stage where you get angry at the people who are so racist for reason. Most of the crime in my community tended to be committed by minorities, so the way a lot of white people, parents especially, viewed them was not the greatest. And because of this I witnessed a lot of racist comments and jokes from friends, peers, family, etc. This upset me because I was smart enough to know that even though there is a group that isn’t representing the whole in the best way that it could, it isn’t okay to just make your judgments based off of that. Now that I am at Penn State, I am even more comfortable with the diversity, and my group of friends is more diverse than it ever has been. Thu, 22 Mar 2012 16:07:17 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/03/21/voices-from-the-classroom-126/#IDComment322032584 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/03/15/voices-from-the-classroom-123/#IDComment317918506 I have never been one to keep up with political issues over the years, even now that I am able to vote. My view on war has always been a somewhat simple one- that I do not like it at all, but apparently it “has” to happen. What we’ve been talking about in the lectures this week about war and about empathy have really made me think deeper into the topic. I would definitely consider myself an empathetic person, so while I hadn’t thought about the feelings of Muslim people or the Iraqi natives, after being provoked to think about it I easily understood where Sam was coming from when he said that it is so important to realize. Having the veterans in our class there to share their views and experiences I think really helped the class see it in a different light. Regarding the number of people a life is worth- that is really such a tough idea to grasp and think about. I wouldn’t be able to answer that question really, because to me a life lost is a life lost. But when Sam said well what about your friend, brother, relative, etc., I could kind of make something of that. My younger brother was sitting right next to me in class when this question was posed to the class, and all I could think was well of course I would want my brother to survive over another person, as terrible as that sounds. I have three brothers, a bunch of cousins, close friends, who if they were hurt or killed in the war, I am sure it would not take long for my view to change from empathetic to bitter. Thankfully, I don’t have anyone that close to me in Iraq right now, so I have no idea what that feels like. War is such a hard concept for people to be open minded about- because they are either personally effected by it, or aren’t educated about it. I feel like not being educated is probably the worst thing that could happen, because that leaves you to make really stupid decisions to say terrible things that you maybe don’t even understand. I feel like if there are veterans like the ones in our class who, after actually being there and having first hand experience, can be open minded, then we should be able to as well. I think the girl, Marissa, who spoke to us gave the class a really positive outlook on something that is portrayed so negatively. And how the other veteran shared his story of how he went through so much over there, showed that even if you have a negative view on something, you can change that if you get the help to. War discussions usually don’t get me very interested, but I’d say they were definitely a good idea for our class. Fri, 16 Mar 2012 23:30:22 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/03/15/voices-from-the-classroom-123/#IDComment317918506 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/29/what-more-do-you-want-to-think-about/#IDComment312564419 Before taking this class I felt as though I had a handle on my beliefs about race, gender, etc. Now that I am in it, I still think the same thing, but I have definitely learned a lot in the past few months. I’ve heard that there are a number of students who think that Sam goes on these rants and makes people try to think the same thing that he does, and yeah he gets into some deep shit. I see that more as passion honestly, and I think he just wants us to feel something at all finally about these issues. I think the biggest thing that sticks out to me is how Sam says that the only way to get over issues of race and discrimination is by talking about it- and this is the first time that I realized that we actually will do anything to avoid the topic so we don’t seem racist or ignorant. The class before break when he opened it up to basically any question, by the end people were asking different questions that seemed kind of ridiculous, but at the same time I’m sure everyone was wondering the same thing. No one would just walk up to a person of a different race out of the blue and ask “why are you different for this reason?” I would consider myself comfortable with anyone of any race or ethnicity, always being more nonjudgmental than a lot of those in my family and those around me growing up. But in saying this I can definitely admit that I don’t know much at all about other cultures. Another aspect that Sam tries to make very clear to us in class is that so much of this is biological and it is extremely important that we understand that. When people look to the answers of why something is they go straight to the stereotype for an explanation. That is something that pisses me off so much- anyone will go to a stereotype to build their mindset on something instead of learning the facts or just getting to know someone. When it comes to our affirmative action discussions- that actually upsets me. I think it is unacceptable that race or ethnicity has so much to do with the hiring process. After graduating, I really hope to get a job. I also understand that the fact that I am white may be on my side. However, the major I’m studying could lead me to someday be in a human resources or employment relations position. From what we are learning in this class about these hiring processes, and about discrimination makes me hope that things will be different in that respect. Like Sam said, it’s going to take so much for a change to actually happen, and I am hoping that day comes before my future children have to deal with it. Sat, 10 Mar 2012 00:38:42 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/29/what-more-do-you-want-to-think-about/#IDComment312564419 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/22/voices-from-the-classroom-110/#IDComment300001762 Before Tuesday’s class, this was a topic that I never even thought twice about, and after it had been brought up, I would have never thought of all of the different factors that could possibly go into someone being better at a sport than another person. I am definitely also in denial that race is the only component that can give someone an advantage in something such as sports, like we discussed in class Tuesday. I think that it can be noted that different races do have some differences physically, like Sam was trying to display in class by having 2 girls of different races come to the front while he compared torso and leg lengths between the girls. And while these differences could give someone a leg up in a certain sport over another person, I believe that it will be the one who works and practices the hardest that will be overall more successful in what they are trying to do. From class and discussion this week, it is obvious to conclude that aspects such as where you grow up, support from friends/family, and your economic status play huge roles in who would be better at something. In my discussion we brought up a point, however, that with some sports economic status may not really play as much of a role as some of the other factors do. In sports like basketball and football, there are always opportunities in the school systems to play on a team, usually being free. Also, having a basketball court to practice on or having a field to a pick up game on is very available in almost all areas, no matter what the economic status is. And in areas that are not so great, there are often youth centers that provide kids to have a place to come and develop their athletic skills. I really do believe also that your location is key when it comes to other types of sports. I’d consider myself somewhat middle class, and there are a range of economic statuses that attend my school district- however, my high school doesn’t have a lacrosse team. Even though there are students that could afford to train for it and buy the equipment, the opportunity just isn’t there for those interested. So in asking what we can do when it really only comes down to being about race? Try to educate people to not just think in that narrow minded type of way. If everyone were to only think about issues in terms solely based on race, we’d all be in trouble. It is extremely important to make sure to take all outlying factors into consideration when trying to determine something- that is the only way to come to a true, rational explanation of things. Thu, 23 Feb 2012 20:27:32 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/22/voices-from-the-classroom-110/#IDComment300001762 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/15/voices-from-the-classroom-105/#IDComment293649821 I feel like my views and concerns regarding religion have changed as I’ve grown up. I attended a small Catholic school for ten years, K4 up until eighth grade. I attended this type of school because that is what my parents decided they wanted for me. My mother also went to a catholic grade school, and her parents felt that it was important that my brothers and I did the same, even offering to help pay for tuition. Growing up in that type of atmosphere, we were taught the Catholic faith and I was impressionable and believed what I was told. I easily believed in it too, and it didn’t feel like the religion was being forced upon me, it seemed natural because everyone in my family was Catholic and all of my peers were learning the same thing. There were times in grade school, once we became old enough to start forming our own ideas on what Catholicism really meant to us, there would be some of my fellow students who would challenge what we were learning about in religion class. Maybe it was because I never thought twice about it, but I never really tried to think outside what I was learning and accepted to believe as true. Once I decided to go to a public high school, and got out of the “catholic school bubble” , I started to see what it was like to be different and on the outside of things. I met people and made friends with people who believed in different things or nothing at all, and at that point it didn’t really matter to me at all. Sam asks what we would do if someone didn’t believe in our religious beliefs, and they didn’t even try to understand it? Well, honestly, at this point it wouldn’t really bother me. People are going to believe what they want, and people are really stubborn I’ve learned. Why try and force a possible idea upon someone when they would probably shoot it down anyways. Sure, it would be respectful for someone to try and see where you’re coming from, but respect is hard to find. For me personally, religion is kind of hanging on by a string. I’ve become pretty detached from common beliefs of my religion, because I have found myself going against some moral of it almost every day. If someone tried to tell me something different than what I was taught now, I’d be more than open to listening to what they had to say. At this point in society, its hard to convince people of such a traditional viewpoint on how the world, us as a human race, the guidelines we should live by, were all created. It wouldn’t surprise me that someone would be closed off from learning something new. Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:18:22 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/15/voices-from-the-classroom-105/#IDComment293649821 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/08/voices-from-the-classroom-99/#IDComment289157299 Do white people try to avoid talking about race? I think it depends on the person and what their experiences have been like throughout their life. If someone grew up in a diverse area and has a diverse group of friends, then maybe they would have an easier time talking about race. I feel like you can’t really say “I know what you have been through” or “I understand where you’re coming from” unless you are actually of a certain race. However, if you spend the time with people of a different race, you are more knowledgeable and can have educated, rational conversations regarding the topic. This brings me to the reason why I think most white people avoid talking about race. I’m sure that there are white people who have questions or want to discuss race and all of the issues that arise from it, but there are a number of things holding them back. For one, they probably feel awkward just bringing it up. They could also be curious, but at the same time have no idea what they are talking about and don’t want to offend someone of a different race by saying the wrong thing. Another thing could be that some people of different races are more open to talk about race than others. In another case, maybe someone was brought up not to even talk about it at all- they learned from their parents, family, teachers, etc. that race was a topic to not bring up or challenge; therefore, a white person wouldn’t even think twice about asking a peer of a different race to talk about their differences or what they go through. I think that white people should not avoid talking about race by any means. I feel like if “we” felt more open about talking about it then we could understand a lot better and not make ignorant comments that are sometimes made. If everyone of any race is able to freely (not judgmentally) talk about their race and the race of others, then a lot of misunderstandings and issues could be easily avoided. When sitting in our lecture, and Sam was asking these thought provoking questions, a lot of us were probably shocked that he even went there with some of the things he was saying- but it didn’t personally hit us (I’m assuming in a lot of cases). But in my discussion group, a black girl described her feelings while the lecture was going on, and explained what it meant to her. Me, being one of the people that, while it was thought provoking, it didn’t hit me- and hearing how she felt really put it all together. She was more than open about her race and what it meant to her. With the rest of my group being prominently white, I think it was an eye opener for us, and some of the people were able to ask some educated questions and learn from the answers. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:46:04 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/08/voices-from-the-classroom-99/#IDComment289157299 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/02/voices-from-the-classroom-96/#IDComment283334655 The topics discussed in class Thursday were definitely the type to make all of us involved think hard about our beliefs. Some people have know exactly what they think about any instance and what they would do if they had to make a decision; for some of us, however, the issue wouldn’t even cross our minds unless it is brought up to us directly. That’s what it was like for me, when Sam posed the question to the girl about adoption and accepting a sperm donor. For me personally, I wouldn’t plan on adopting, but wouldn’t be against it. I also think that there is nothing wrong adopting a baby of a different race. I have heard that the adoption process is next to impossible, and can take a lot of time. I would think that most prospective parents would adopt any baby they could, because all they want is a child to love and take care of like their own, so race shouldn’t matter. It really does depend on the situation and who you have in your life at that deciding moment. Interracial relationships never really bothered me- I grew up with a very open mind when it came to things like that, even if those close to me didn’t really feel the same way. I also noticed that I could be attracted to a guy who wasn’t white, but I never really acted on it in high school. At that time, even though interracial dating didn’t bother me, I couldn’t see myself actually dating someone of a different race. When I came to Penn State, I noticed that it really isn’t a big deal at all. Your parents aren’t there to judge you (if they are the type to judge), your not with the same friends you’ve been around all of your life- people can just be with who they want to be. I’d say it’s pretty tough to not even be somewhat attracted to someone of a different race while being here, being that this is such a diverse place. Several of my friends have said at least once, “If my friends from home/parents ever found out I hooked up with a (insert race here) guy….” That goes to show that Sam is right, there is a standard of who people are supposed to be attracted to, and once you break that standard people will worry what others will think. I can understand how, when asked who was the most attractive out of the three Korean guy, the girl really didn’t know what to say, since she has probably never thought to be interested in someone other than a white guy. I feel that I can honestly say I could find something attractive in guys of any race, if asked. Sat, 4 Feb 2012 03:11:46 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/02/02/voices-from-the-classroom-96/#IDComment283334655 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/01/26/voices-from-the-classroom-92/#IDComment276245000 With all of the events that have happened here over the past few months, it was really difficult for me to wrap my head around the situation at first. I think the majority of us as students made up our minds about who is really to blame in this situation, and that a very important man in our school community went down in the wrong way. One thing that became clear with all of this is that people really seem to not have consideration when something so huge happens. Obviously this was a major event that occurred, and it is expected for people to form opinions, as they should. The media, however, made it really hard for people outside of our school to make an informed, rational opinion on the matter. I know we all have been ridiculed and put down over Facebook, Twitter, etc., because we have tried to show our support and everyone else wants to make a big joke out of it. I work at the Hershey Medical Center part time, which we all know is a part of the Penn State community; yet one of my co-workers felt the need to text me a joke about it. Dealing with people who either didn’t understand or didn’t even know what was going on was really frustrating- I’m sure everyone could agree with that. Once all of us got the initial anger and rioting out of our systems, we all realized the matter at hand that needed to be recognized. Sadly, the media put more of a spotlight on the negatives, rather than the positives. I think it was really impressive how fast our students were able to come together and put major vigils and fundraising movements together for the victims of this horrible tragedy. If anything, I’ve learned how much I really love being a student at this university, and that such a large student body can come together as one for a good cause. Penn State has gone through a lot these past few months, affecting some students a lot more personally than others. I think that while the awareness for child sex abuse has been raised on our campus, it will eventually fade because all of this will settle down at some point. After viewing the memorial service for JoePa, it is obvious that the values and morals that he has instilled in all of us have come through the most. These values and good nature that JoePa reminded us that we all have within us should be brought out to keep this awareness known. Not only for child sex abuse, but for any horrible problem facing all of us students at Penn State on a daily basis. Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:24:09 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/01/26/voices-from-the-classroom-92/#IDComment276245000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/01/16/voices-from-the-classroom-33/#IDComment270011051 I feel like people think “self identification” is very important to them. Everyone wants to be unique or different in some way, but when it comes down to it, this self-identification really just “blocks” them off. If people are going to hang out or only associate with a certain group of people, it makes you less likely to stand out because all you’ll do is blend in. Like Sam has mentioned before in class, everyone thinks their really breaking a stereotype or being different, but when it comes down to it, you really are just like everybody else. I also think that people don’t only self identify themselves based on race and ethnicity. You always see people hanging out with others of somewhat of a similar economic status. This may not be on purpose of course, but it happens a lot. After thinking about these series of questions posed in the video, I realize that I definitely “blocked” myself off when it came to surrounding myself with people of the same race. Its not something I meant to do by any means, it is just how it happened to turn out growing up in the type of town I come from. I’ve always been open to meeting new kinds of people and learning from their experiences. I think that if everyone were to try and mix it up a bit they would learn a lot from others. Being friends with a group of people who are not all like me, who are more/less wealthy than I am, who have different talents and ethnic backgrounds, who have come from all over the country- all have made me the type of friend and person that I am today. I do notice some pros of associating with people who are ethnically like you- there are so many clubs and organizations on this campus that allow students to come together for a common cause, and to celebrate who they are as a group. While these can get somewhat competitive or can get a bad rep for sure, it really is all what they make it. It wasn’t until college that I made really close friends who are a lot different from me. My freshman/current roommate is Jewish, and she was the actually the first Jewish person I knew personally. One of my closest friends is Philippino, another is Asian. Now I find myself not just checking out your average white guy. Going to a university like Penn State has really opened my eyes. I feel like if people constantly block themselves off from others who are not like them, it will hurt our society in the long run. Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:09:04 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2012/01/16/voices-from-the-classroom-33/#IDComment270011051 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/21/if-prison-has-taken-anything-away-from-me/#IDComment145263407 This is a completely different perspective on being a lifer than previous letters that have been posted. Many of the others have showed how they have changed for the better throughout the process, while this one focused mainly on the negative side of being in prison- however not to say that he hasn’t spiritually changed for the better. The way he wrote this, it exhibits exactly what being in prison would be like, using great imagery. It is also interesting how silence is different with this inmate compared to others we’ve heard about. We’ve heard about lifers using the alone time and silence to reflect on life, their crime, their family and friends, and God. In this case, this inmate can’t even tolerate any sorts of silence, because he takes that as a chance to see what his life has come to because of prison. When he goes further to explain that while he may have means of entertainment, learning, and hobbies, he says how that those are nowhere near enough. By showing that all he wants is love- not any possession or money to fill his empty prison cell- it is clear that there is a good heart deep down. He stated that prison took his chance to love and be loved, which to me says that he didn’t even experience any kind of real love with his family or friends. I feel like any type of love, whether romantic or just caring about someone, is extremely important for any person to experience in some way or another. He longs for love and a relationship so much, it being all that he wants in life; however, in his position now, that is impossible for him to obtain. It must be the worst feeling to know that it is your own fault that you can’t get the only thing you want, as he states “The longing for this, the horrible soul rending pain of it is matched by knowledge that I did this to myself.” This inmate is a man filled with emotion, pain, and depression, who seems that he can never snap out of it. The way he explains his want for love makes me feel badly for him. Sat, 23 Apr 2011 01:30:13 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/21/if-prison-has-taken-anything-away-from-me/#IDComment145263407 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment143270425 I very much agree with this inmate’s letter on labels. Labels are something that I have never liked, and recognized the problem with them at a younger age. I would hear friends, family, etc. call people certain things or slap a label on someone that they don’t really even know. I am not one to “judge a book by its cover”, so these labels have always bothered me. Yes it is true that everyone is guilty of labeling someone, but they do not see the impact that it can have on a person. Like this inmate mentioned in the letter, they are labeled as “lifers” or “felons.” While it is true that they are in prison, I am sure that many of these inmates have better qualities that they could have as their own label. We’ve learned that a lot of lifers change their lives around for the better and become great people. But it has to be that some will let these negative labels take over their beings and control how they proceed with their lives in prison. These negative labels appear in our everyday lives too- especially in high school and even into college. I don’t know how I would be able to go to a place every day where I knew that people called me a slut, loser, or weird either behind my back or, more brutally, to my face. The sad thing is, in these cases, those labels aren’t even true and can really ruin people’s lives. We’ve all seen it happen, and how extreme some victims can take it. I like how he this inmate ended the letter with the phrase: “res ipsa loquitur.” Let the thing speak for itself is something that all of us could keep with us every day. If someone would take the time to talk to someone they so quickly decided to label, they could easily see that there are positive aspects about that person that no one even knew about, and that have been suppressed due to a negative label. I really liked this letter a lot, and while others may feel they believe the same as I do, the labeling sadly will probably go on just as a norm in society. Sat, 16 Apr 2011 01:25:26 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment143270425 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141157540 This inmate definitely captures every girl’s “prince charming” and depicts his qualities very well. Unfortunately, this is usually not the case that all relationships experience, just as the inmate expresses towards the end of this letter. Personally, I have not been in a serious relationship, so I can’t relate to this on the basis of long term, but it is easy to notice how these ideal qualities are rare knowing from friends’ relationships and my own personal experience now being in college. I’m not saying that all guys are bad guys, and sometimes guys just grow up believing that not treating girls the “right” way is normal. It all depends on the living environment and the people they had to look up to and go to for advice in this department. Also, like this inmate stated, guys are “brainwashed” to believe that what they see on TV, movies, or other forms of media is what women really want in a boyfriend and relationship. It is interesting that he realizes that it took him having to get arrested in and put in prison to really figure out what a “real” man should be like. It makes sense, however, because he can finally get out of the society that wrongly taught him how to treat women, and he was able to reflect on what he had done wrong. It is nice that someone solely dedicated a letter to simply apologize for being a bad guy towards women. He addresses all women that he may have offended, as well as just women in general that have been treated badly by men. He simply says, I’m sorry, which I feel is sincere. It’s sad that it takes a man to go to prison to realize this about women, but hopefully guys in general can start taking notice that what society presents them with is just not right. It is also sad that in a lot of cases, if a guy were to treat women poorly in the past, that they won’t be taken seriously when they claim they changed. Like I mentioned before, I’m not saying that all guys act this way because they want to, but that it because it’s what they are exposed to now at a younger age. Sat, 9 Apr 2011 03:36:41 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141157540 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139281989 This inmate’s letter is interesting and makes me want to think differently about the lifers in prison. The inmate seems to value family and friends very much, and as his time goes on in prison, who he considers “family” adapts. Some of his statements make me question how horrible of a person he could possibly be, and why he is a lifer to begin with. The fact that he has high school teachers, friends, and parents of friends still writing to him brings about an interesting point about some people in prison. This must mean that this particular inmate is in fact a good person who can still be respected by those he used to be around on a normal basis. When he says “As time goes by, it’s even harder for those of us that are in prison to relate to the ones we love outside these walls,” it brings about a good point. I can only imagine how this inmate could feel not being able to be same around the people he loves, and how frustrating his life could be because of it. I, for one, extremely value the relationship I have with my family and friends; if for some reason I couldn’t be just a phone call, facebook message, or short trip away, it would greatly affect me. In addition to that, the feeling of being detached from the world that you were once so involved in would drive me crazy. I feel like it is a positive aspect that inmates create a sense of family within the prison, so they can experience that missing feeling and get the guidance in some way. This inmate mentions that even some of the staff members will “fill in for a family.” I believe this is especially notable, because that shows that the people who are trained to not trust you in the first place can even find the good in inmates. We often read letters from inmates about how they find new relationships with God once they get to prison; I find it particularly interesting that this inmate shares his past and new relationships when it comes to family, showing a side of prison that many of us don’t know about. Sat, 2 Apr 2011 03:21:13 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139281989 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137598722 Before reading this inmate’s experience with fear, I thought I’ve experienced fear. Sure, we can feel fear at different levels, like me being scared of bees or heights. But after hearing this story, I now realize that I have no idea what fear is. If I had to live in such fear everyday, having to wonder if I would get beaten up or raped on a daily basis, or knowing that my own family would turn against me, I don’t know how I would live my life everyday. I have no idea how this inmate could just “forget” what was being done to him. I suppose I just couldn’t understand what being in the position would be like, but I don’t see how he wouldn’t try to seek help. I am completely taken aback from seeing that there are family members out there that could seriously be this cold towards their own flesh and blood. Yes, we hear of parents raping their own children, but I’ve never heard of a case like this, where whole entire family was behind it. It is possible that his brothers and sister were also living in intense fear, and it was the only thing they could do to save themselves. I just don’t think I could sit back and support something like this like his family members did. It makes me wonder how people can possibly turn into monsters like these parents did. While he did not commit suicide, he was still robbed of actually living his life because of what he had to go through when he was younger. Because of what his family did to him, beginning at such a young age, he never got to experience real emotions, such as love, trust and happiness. Yes, what he did was extreme, but honestly who didn’t see that coming. There is no way he could’ve acted rationally since he never sought professional help or therapy for the shit he had to deal with throughout his life. So yes, he murdered his parents, and murder deserves being put in prison. However, I think it is completely unfair that his story was denied and that people probably just think he killed them just because. I feel for this inmate, and hope that he can at least get the help he needs. Sat, 26 Mar 2011 00:07:44 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137598722 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/18/m-s-story/#IDComment135934414 M.'s story was one of the most interesting letters, from a lifer that I have read. I believe that certain lifers are capable of becoming a positive part of prison and the correction of other prisoners. I believe they can change for the better, because why would they lie about that? If they are in prison for life, why would someone pretend to be a better person if it won't even help their case. I truly believe he wants to be a better person, because he feels such remorse for a crime he didn't even commit. It could be argued that he should have tried to get help or stop something, but when it comes down to it that could've led to him getting hurt and I feel like I would've been just as scared and wouldn't know what to do, even being 14 years old. I don't think he deserves to be in prison for life and I don't think that he should be feeling as badly as he would have if he actually killed that guy. I think he is being respectful to the victim's family and others affected by the murder by not really wanting to try to embellish the story of what happened that day or even wanting to bring it up because he doesn't want to bring extra pain to anyone. i think that it is sad that he can't forgive himself, but at least he doesn't hate himself anymore. I like how he says that he doesn't want to let the crime he committed deem him as an evil person, and that he doesn't want to be an evil person at all. It is admirable that he wants to make something of his life and give it meaning, despite being in prison for the rest of his life. I think all prisoners should read and take note of this, especially the ones who have not come to terms with the fact that they should change their lives for the better. He has captured the way that prisoners should live in a way, and i think he should seek help from others who have forgiven themselves so he can do the same. Fri, 18 Mar 2011 23:33:32 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/18/m-s-story/#IDComment135934414 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/07/freedom/#IDComment134358485 I believe that this inmate really captured the idea of how freedom can be what you make it. When this lifer says "Freedom is not where you live, it is how you live," he or she accurately explains how we should all think about freedom overall. As explained in class, Sam mentioned how most people feel that we are the freest people in the world just because we live in the United States. In reality, there are much more free places in the world because they have the choice to just live as they want to, without so much influence from society. I admire that this inmate has developed a sense of his own freedom and wants to make a better life for himself based off of this sense of freedom. Since he seems to be making the most of his not very ideal situation, he can use this belief to help other lifers come to terms with their lives, and to maybe help them live in a better way. This also helps to make you feel better about yourself as a person and help you become a better person, family member, friend, and person in the society you are a part of. I feel that if every person could go through the same isolation experience for a point in time, they too could inherit this idea of what freedom really is. It could help someone who thinks that since he or she has all of the possessions they could ever want, and all the friends they could ever need, realize that freedom is in the mind and soul, and one must achieve it there. It shows that we who are technically "free" really take advantage of it and couldn't see our lives in any other way. Most of us link freedom with happiness, so naturally many would think that there is no way someone who is a lifer could ever be happy with the rest of his or her life. After reading this, I can see how one can achieve this personal freedom and be happy with virtually nothing, as long as they can live their life the way they want to, being a good person in the end. Sat, 12 Mar 2011 04:15:47 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/07/freedom/#IDComment134358485