gdp's Comments

The Toast : My Female Students Don't Seem As Impressed With Me As They Used To

Thu, 26 Nov 2015 03:31:46 +0000

I was an English major, but one of my male teachers was in love only with himself, the other with Herman Melville. I may have been oppressively crushing on one of the junior professors, who was happily married but just the kind of tall skinny bearded Shakespeare-loving type I craved. He avoided my longing glances, to his credit. I will always cherish making him laugh hysterically when I and some friends did a scene from Merchant of Venice in the style of Salt n' Pepa, though.

The Toast : Madeline Kahn Tuesday: "Oh, I'm...Simply Crushed"

Wed, 18 Nov 2015 23:19:59 +0000

I once got an obscene phone call when I was about 13, but the guy was muttering so low (and I was so clueless) I kept going WHAT? HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY?? and it wasn't till he hung up in disgust that I realized what he'd been saying. My grandmother kept a little box of Bible verses printed on slips of paper next to her phone. When she got an obscene caller (fairly often for some reason) she would just start reading random verses until he hung up. (the box was shaped like a loaf of bread and called Our Daily Bread, I remember it so clearly because it puzzled me for the longest time).

The Toast : Every Comment On Every Article About Bras Ever

Wed, 4 Nov 2015 21:07:42 +0000

I once had some dudes get Very Offended when I complained on a bra thread that I would just like to be able to take my boobs off occasionally (like in summer, so sweaty!) and that dudes don't understand that they're heavy and bulky and kind of a pain in the ass. "But they're so beautiful, I loooove them! Women have much nicer bodies than men!" WHO ASKED YOU dude, seriously. Nobody cares about your boner.

The Toast : Disrupting Domesticity: Open Heart, Open Sky

Fri, 3 Apr 2015 21:07:04 +0000

Yes, this is exactly what it's like, yes. Thank you.

The Toast : Things My Male Tech Colleagues Have Actually Said to Me, Annotated

Thu, 2 Apr 2015 18:35:03 +0000

What's nice about getting a little bit older is that young dudes get a little bit intimidated by you. So when they do say something, I can usually just raise my eyebrows at them and wait, silently, expectantly, for them to realize they have Stepped in the Shit. They start to stammer and blush. I may or may not smile when I graciously let them off the hook as they apologize. Older dudes remain oblivious, and don't like me as much as when I was a sweet young thing. That's annoying in a different way. But they don't ask me to fetch and carry for them either.

The Toast : How My Employer Put the "FML" in FMLA

Mon, 27 Oct 2014 18:03:52 +0000

It was well-known (but unwritten) at my employer that you got a doctor's note mandating that you needed however many weeks of sick leave you had saved up; that got us into "medical necessity" and was called "medical leave", but it was all part of the cludge of maternity non-leave that went along with it. It was odd how every single mom at my work had to get x weeks of medical leave after birth! That had a lot to do with us only having one child. Even though I changed employers, the whole ordeal, on top of the normal stress of having a kid, was more than we could go through again. It's brutal. Ladies; if you want kids, or want your kids to have kids, without going broke and insane, get your asses out and vote. Nothing changes if we do nothing.

The Toast : The Mom Apotheosis

Fri, 24 Oct 2014 14:22:36 +0000

"Wow, mom, thanks for lending me your robe, it's really warm." "It's yours. Take it." "But.." "TAKE IT."

The Toast : Inevitable Fates of Beloved Children’s Book Characters

Thu, 23 Oct 2014 19:34:07 +0000

Does everyone know about the Shirley Temple version of [The] Little Princess? Dad doesn't die in that one either. It's also very bizarre.Also all the online versions have that crappy colorization. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyCzOTRbPug

The Toast : Inevitable Fates of Beloved Children’s Book Characters

Thu, 23 Oct 2014 18:27:33 +0000

Ugh, Dickon, so sanctimonious. Ugh, Colin you entitled twit. Forget them both, Mary. Go see the world, hold on to your skepticism, enjoy being a rich old spinster, and when people ask you about your parents tell them "They were assholes who died of their own stupidity and nearly took me with them."

The Toast : What's The Biggest Mistake You've Ever Made At Work?

Wed, 1 Oct 2014 03:40:00 +0000

I once tore the corner of a 1500s-era manuscript I had, for some reason, been told to scan. I didn't tell anyone. I still feel bad about it. But they really should NOT have just let our department slap that thing on the scanner, so I also blame the archivist who loaned it to us.

The Toast : Dad Magazine: September Edition

Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:29:15 +0000

"My dad shaved off his mustache once when I was 4, and when I asked where it went my mom sent me all over the house to look for it." That was a very Dad thing for your mother to do.

The Toast : "You Cannot Be Mommy": A Female Cook on Ratatouille

Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:19:38 +0000

This is why I actually disliked this movie; it might be accurate, but it seems odd that we must have accurate portrayal of sad gender realities in a movie about a rat who cooks fine cuisine. It's perhaps the saddest statement imaginable that we have the imagination to come up with a rat who succeeds as chef, but not a woman who can...THAT is just too much for the imagination to bear. The fact that she "falls in love" with a pimply, slightly dim goofball who will never be worthy of her and who is basically just the mechanical arms of an actual, if rodent, genius is just the poop sprinkles on the shit sundae of this story.

The Toast : Preconditions for Diplomacy Between Siblings: A Visit Contract

Tue, 9 Sep 2014 19:45:04 +0000

You could shorten this considerably by an agreement: "Brother and Sister will confine themselves to harmless topics such as weather, sports, their kids, Funny Stuff they Did as Kids, scurrilous gossip about absent family members, desired car purchases, and future vacation plans. Any discussions on religion or politics are forbidden. Enforcement will be by the non-offending family member immediately leaving the couch/table and playing with family pets outside until the topic has been safely changed." This works pretty well, in that my brother has stopped lobbing Limbaugh quotes at me during the Thanksgiving football game. It helps that he has two adorable doggies for me to go outside and play with.

The Toast : How To Dress For Work

Tue, 2 Sep 2014 14:30:35 +0000

Unikitty is me everyday; hiding my weirdness in business drag. NUMBERS NUMBERS BUSINESS BUSINESS. It is a thin but strangely effective disguise.

The Toast : Femslash Friday: Deep Space Nine

Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:04:02 +0000

Oh definitely. Poor Keiko. She should have dumped his ass.

The Toast : Femslash Friday: Deep Space Nine

Fri, 29 Aug 2014 14:19:04 +0000

Garak he found sexy, maybe, but Bashir's true love was O'Brien. I can see Dax but not really Kira being into it. Though alternate-evil-universe Kira would and did sleep with anyone. No discussion of the extremely unconvincingly hetero Tasha Yar? Also I'm pretty sure Counselor Troi's mom would get with a chick if it was offered. DS9/Next Generation just came along a bit too early for open gay relationships on TV; there was definitely a lot of ground they were afraid to explore.

The Toast : The Outlander Drinking Game

Mon, 25 Aug 2014 17:48:19 +0000

I wonder if the Clan of the Cave Bear series belongs in the "middle age women porn" category. It doesn't involve time travel, just making the best of your Paleolithic life by having as much sex as possible and also inventing all the things. I liked it as a teen, but am afraid to go back and try it again. My eyes might actually roll out of my head.

The Toast : The Outlander Drinking Game

Mon, 25 Aug 2014 17:03:04 +0000

I have never read these books because I was working in a bookstore when they were first published, and the fans were extremely annoying. Also I do not regard the past as a place any woman would really enjoy living in, no matter how hot the dudes. I enjoyed Connie Willis' Doomsday Book for exactly that reason. No real romance, lots of interesting facts, the past was both beautiful and terrible, and time-travel had high stakes.

The Toast : Watership Up

Thu, 21 Aug 2014 20:05:02 +0000

Oh, but dear lord, be warned if you read other stuff by the same author. The Plague Dogs: dogs being used in medical experiments! The one about Robert E. Lee's horse, which was just odd. And the one about the ancient pagan society and the sexxxy women that were constantly having not-really-consensual to definitely-not-consensual sex all the time.

The Toast : Liminal Mother: On Nannying and Love

Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:54:22 +0000

This reminded me to send a text to my adorable nephew, who is just turning 4 today and who is a sweet child I want to steal every time I see him. I already have a kiddo but when it's yours, the delight is overlaid with a million-ton weight of responsibility. There is no one to hand them off to; it's all on you. Sometimes that makes it harder to just enjoy. Also not helping: 8 million articles on How You Are Raising Your Child Wrong, and Why He'll Probably be Unhealthy/Mentally Ill/a Criminal As a Result.