Nepotism is all around me. I hear about, experience it, and see it every day. Most of my friends have received their first jobs because of nepotism. Some even were accepted into certain colleges because of nepotism. I’ve grown up being taught that nepotism is normal, “It’s about who you know!” Everyone says, “It’s all about who you know.” For instance, the other day I sent in a job application. I told my parents, “Mom–I sent in my application today.” She responded, “That’s great honey, try and find someone who may know someone at the company. Even though I know you’re qualified, you get jobs based on who you know.” When she said that it really bothered me. I felt I was qualified for the job and if I wasn’t then I did not want to get the job. Why do I need to try and find someone who will convince the hiring manager to hire me? I want to EARN my first job. Soon after this encounter I watched our lecture on affirmative action and nepotism and almost laughed. While everyone is arguing and throwing up their fists that affirmative action is unfair, they aren’t even looking in the mirror at the advantages they are given as a result of nepotism. I bet every person who has argued against affirmative action has benefited from nepotism. Yet, when push comes to shove, they aren’t yelling that nepotism provides an unfair advantage to people who are sometimes unqualified for a job. People don’t argue about things that benefit them–that’s why no one talks about nepotism. People should earn jobs because they qualified, not because their mother knows the man whose son is the CEO of a company. What does that have to do with being qualified for a job? It’s not fair to all of the people who work hard, get internships, and build their resumes to apply for jobs they are qualified for. I thought Sam brought up a great point about affirmative action–it doesn’t mean people who are unqualified are getting jobs they are unqualified for, it simply means, employers are making sure that they are looking at all candidates equally. Another part of the lecture I thought was interesting was that most of the people who benefit from affirmative action are WHITE WOMEN. Most of my friends who argue against affirmative action are WHITE WOMEN who have most likely benefited either directly or indirectly from affirmative action. Yet, they don’t complain about the job they just got through a friend of a friend (nepotism). People get so stuck in their own minds they forget to look at issues from other perspectives. Instead of complaining about affirmative action, they should think about any advantage they have received that was not EARNED. But for some reason people don’t like to get outside of their comfort zone and learn about issues. Overall, this class has been a great learning experience and I have enjoyed it thoroughly. It has forced me to get outside of myself and examine issues first hand. It has also taught to me QUESTION–question everything I hear, everything I am taught, and everything I am told is true. Most of the things I have been told are not true, which I learned very quickly in this class.

When I think about affirmative action, I usually think of black people. This is because most arguments I hear from white people usually begin with, "It's not fair that black people getting special treatments etc..." I never stopped to think about how many women, let alone, WHITE women benefit from affirmative action. Ironically, many of my friends who argue that affirmative action is “not fair” are women! Although I do not think it is fair to give someone a benefit or advantage solely based on some identified criteria, as with affirmative action, something has to be done to create more equal opportunity. Then, I thought about how unfair nepotism is. Every day, people are getting jobs they are not qualified for over others because of nepotism. How do you even attempt to stop nepotism? It is such a widespread and accepted practice that I cannot imagine it will stop anytime soon. There is so much inequality in society, sometimes it's hard to decide what is necessary and what is not. Overall, we, as a society, need to stop taking advantage of nepotism and EARNING jobs in order for it to become less accepted. But how do convince people to stop using their contacts? It’s almost impossible.

Sam brought up a great point about homophobia–why would you be passionate about something that does not affect you? I hope one day people will stop caring about issues that do not affect them! I took a class in high school about inequality, and we were discussing LGBT issues. A kid spoke up and said, “I just don’t agree with it. It’s a huge religious issue for me.” My teacher then replied, “Give me three ways in which a gay or lesbian couple walking down the street DIRECTLY affects you?” The kid then stuttered and finally became quite–he had nothing to say. Similar to your point–if it doesn’t affect you, learn to accept differences and be a compassionate, caring individual. Everyone is allows to have their own beliefs about LBGT issues, but if they do not personally affect you and your life, then it shouldn’t matter.

I really enjoyed this lecture because it reinforced a lot of my own thoughts and beliefs regarding LGBT issues. First of all, in terms of religion, I loved the vegetable analogy. If you are very religious and do not support homosexuality, that is fine, but you must hold all sins as equal, similar to how all of the vegetables, although different, were all vegetables. I happen to be Catholic, but during mass two years ago my priest read off a list of “sins” and actually said, “If you are gay, you will go to hell.” From that moment on, my entire perspective on my religion changed. How could my church, which is about love and caring, be so hateful? Personally, I do not think “God” judges anyone. Although I am straight, I was very offended and upset with my priest and my religion that day. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be homosexual, so why would anyone willingly choose that lifestyle? They wouldn’t, and like Sam said, “How can you hide something that a part of who you are?”

For the past fifteen years, many of my family members have speculated that my Aunt is a lesbian. However, my father’s side of the family is extremely “WASPY,” and conservative and does talk or acknowledge “differences.” Therefore, no one talks about the fact that my aunt is a 55-year-old woman who lives with her “friend” named Jan. They have a house together, share a dog, and travel together to family functions. I often wonder why my aunt does not come out of the closet, or discuss her relationship with Jan because my entire family has embraced it. We love Jan and support my aunt and we only want them to be happy. I wonder if my aunt is afraid to talk about it with my grandmother, because my grandmother is pretty straight edge, but CLEARLY my grandmother knows. A part of me feels sad that my aunt isn’t comfortable talking about it, but maybe she doesn’t want to talk about it because her sexuality does not define her. Then again, I don’t openly initiate discussion regarding my sexuality or love interests at family gatherings, so why should she?

Overall, this lecture reinforced a lot of my own opinions on LGBT issues. It’s funny how once you begin to break down the stereotypes and negative assumptions their foundations begin to dissolve. I also thought it was ironic that many people who are homophobic experience more homophobic feelings than those who are not. It makes sense–why would you be so passionate about something that does not affect you? I hope one day people will stop caring about issues that do not affect them! I took a class in high school about inequality, and we were discussing LGBT issues. A kid spoke up and said, “I just don’t agree with it. It’s a huge issue for me.” My teacher then replied, “Give me three ways in which a gay or lesbian couple walking down the street DIRECTLY affects you?” The kid then stuttered and finally became quite–he had nothing to say. That is my point exactly–if it doesn’t affect you, learn to accept differences and be a compassionate, caring individual.

I completely agree. As I mentioned in my post, when I was little I wanted an American Girl doll. Out of the ten dolls, I selected the once that looked the most similar to me–white with brown hair. So, to see those black children select the doll that was least similar to them, made me so upset. It really brought to light to fact that children are being socialization at a young age to believe that “white” is good and “black” is bad. As a society, we need to realize this and start doing things to change it. I wonder if the roles were reversed and I was brought up believing that “white” was bad and “black” was good if that would have affected my identity. I know it would have. Then I wonder how it would have affected my conscious as I moved through my life. Would I feel inferior? Bad? Less than someone else? And, how would that affect my perceptions of race and what it means to be white? The scary part is that young children to do consciously understand why they select a certain doll. They are too young to understand the concept of race and/or race relations, so they grow up believe something about themselves that is wrong.

This lecture was really interesting to me because I never realized that people go through stages of racial identity. And, I never realized that white people and black people and other minorities transition through different stages at different times. The most important thing is that you cannot get angry at someone who is at a different stage than you. You can be frustrated, but you have to understand that racial identity is a process, and everyone has different experiences that shape their outlooks on race. Instead, I try and educate people about the information I learn in this class. The most eye-opening part of the lecture was the video associating white with good and black with bad. When Sam claimed that a girl had conducted a video where she placed a black doll and a white doll in front of black children and asked them to select which one they like better, I automatically assumed they would select the black baby. As a child, I loved American girl dolls. There a many different American Girl dolls¬–white, black, Indian, Asia, blonde haired, brown haired, and black haired etc. Looking back, I selected the one that looked most like me–white with brown hair. It’s not to say I didn’t like the other dolls, but I wanted the doll that I related to, the one that looked like me. I assumed the black children would want the same. I never realized how society portrays “black” and “white.” It was sad for me to watch the children select the white doll, because I loved having a doll that looked like me. But, then I asked myself, why didn’t I choose the Black or Asian doll? Did I understand my choice at the time? If I had seen a black doll with dark brown hair, and a white doll with blonde hair, which would I have chosen? I’m white, but I have brown hair. I don’t know why I can’t get that video out of my mind, I still think about it today. How could we as a society, develop these stereotypes and perceptions that are so strong they influence children? If I grew up thinking (consciously or unconsciously) that my skin color was associated with “bad” and others kids’ skin color was associated with “good,” how would that have affected my identity? These are questions I am dealing with now. Overall, this lecture really opened my eyes to what it means to see the world through the eyes of someone who is black.

I also enjoyed the part of the lecture that discussed racial identifiers. Before Sam brought it up, I have never thought about racial identifies. When friends would share stories that began with “…this white lady,” or “this Asian man,” I never thought twice about it. Now, I realize that racial identifies serve no purpose except to spread prejudices and create stereotypes. Why do people feel the need to use them? Do the think it makes their stories more interesting? Like Sam said, it adds nothing. I think for the most part, people don’t use racial identifies because they are racist, they just don’t know better. They don’t REALIZE the underlying meaning of using a racial identifier. This class is really forcing me to look at myself, my actions, and the actions of others. I find myself constantly questioning people and initiating conversations. I am currently struggling with the fact that I am beginning to realize how little people actually know about other races and cultures and it drives me CRAZY. I wish I could force everyone I know to take this class! I actually forced my Dad to watch a lecture last time I was home, and made my friend watch it when she came to visit me! They were sucked into the lecture just like I was the first day. It’s too bad this is not a mandatory class for graduation.

Sam’s discussion about white “guilt” this lecture was very interesting to me. I experience white guilt on a daily basis. Every time I drive in my car and I see a person of a different skin color walking miles to the nearest bus stop, I feel white guilt. I ask myself, “How it fair? How is it fair that somehow I won the ‘luck of the birth lottery’ and ended up in a easier financial situation than others?” It’s not fair. And, it’s not fair that because I am white I have probably experienced a much easier life. I always get upset thinking about it and then begin to feel guilty and ashamed. At times, I wish I could trade my life with someone less fortunate, because it’s not fair. I know that at some point I will have to try and overcome my sense of guilt, but I don’t know when that will happen. I have a job and I am a hard worker, but I still know that my entire life has been EASY compared to most people.

So, obviously when I saw the video about the Russian girls called “Prussian blue,” I became even angrier. Then, I just got mad at the parents because I realized those girls are two young to create those thoughts by themselves–they were taught to hate. Then I thought about the fact that their parents had to have been taught to hate by their parents and suddenly realized racism is a domino effect. The parents teach the children, the children grow up, have kids, and teach their kids and so on. People aren’t born thinking about race, so how is it that race has become such an issue? It’s become an issue because people are taught to think about race either by their family, friends, environment, or society. It’s scary to think that these girls could influence other people to become racist white supremacists. Although it is frustrating that someone could share those beliefs, the important fact is that I KNOW that they are wrong. So, now I need to make an effort to educate others. One of the ways that I am overcoming my guilt is by speaking with other people. I ask them what they think about a certain subject, and ironically, I can predict their responses before they finish. For instance, I was talking to a friend the other day and ask, “Why do you think people from the Middle East dislike America?” They said, “Because they hate our way of life, our freedom, our values.” I then proceeded to share the information I learned about that lecture and they were surprised. Most people don’t overtly hate others; they just don’t have the correct information. Their misperceptions shape their beliefs and influence their ideas about others. Ever since I started sharing information I’ve learned this class with others, I feel less guilt than before.

I also agree with both of you that as a society, we do not talk about what it means to be white. In fact, we barely acknowledge it. I have a difficult time trying to figure out what is actually means to be “white.” It is easy for me to distinguish between different groups of white people; but as a whole, I don’t have a definition for “whiteness.” Our society also discusses what it means to be “black,” or “Hispanic,” or other races. We discuss the issues that certain groups face, but we don’t acknowledge the issues pertaining to “whiteness,” or what it means to be white. This lecture was the first time that I really forced myself to sit and think about what it meant to be white. It evaluated all aspects of my life–my education, my family, my clothing, my style, my behaviors, my language, etc. I could not nail down any pattern that really made sense to me. I think the more that our society starts talking about what is means to be each race–including “white,” we will gain a better appreciation for different cultures.

I also do not ignore what it means to be white. I think about it at least three times a day. When I interact with other people, notice other groups, or have discussions, I do think about it a lot. Often I ask myself, “How would my life be different if I was in another person’s shoes?” It forces me to examine individuals by thinking about the free will and determinism forces that have possibly shaped their life. Overall, I am really excited to learn more about “whiteness” and gain a better understanding of what it means to be white.

I am a 23 year old white female. I never really thought about how my “whiteness” affected my outlook on myself or the way that others perceive me until about six years ago. I always knew that inequality and racial issues existed, but only thought about how those issues affected people other than myself. The majority of the kids in my middle school were white, which is why I probably never thought about what is meant to be white. All of that changed when I went to boarding school in Connecticut and left my town. My boarding school was extremely diverse. There were kids from almost every country in the world and all fifty states. At first, I was paranoid about taking about race or religion because I never wanted to offend anyone. I was always trying to be politically correct, but always wondering if you are actually being politically correct is exhausting. So, I didn’t feel comfortable engaging in discussion about race relations.

However, I became friends with many of the kids at my school, many of which were from different races, cultures, and socioeconomic backgrounds. My friends knew that I did not have a racist bone in my body. They realized I was curious about their life experiences and view of the world, so we began having personal conversations. I shared stories about my life, my family, and my living situation at home. They shared their stories. I began to learn how different my life was from some of my friends. The conversations never got heated. It wasn’t about one person blaming the other; it was simply about exchanging our realities. Ever since graduating from boarding school, I have become even more defensive about race issues. Whenever I hear someone say an off-color comment, I take it personally. In my opinion when someone makes a racist comment, it offends be because that person is offending my friends. Ironically, I notice that people who make racist comments usually do not have any friends who are a different skin.

I don’t know why I take it so personally, especially because I was not even engaging in conversations about race before sophomore year of high school. But, in my senior year of high school I took a class on South Africa’s new democracy. I decided to plan a school service trip with ten other classmates to visit the townships and help the people who live there. I will never forget riding in the car into the township; I was one of six white people in an entirely black community. That was the first time in my life that I realized what it felt like to be a minority. That is when I think I really shifted into the “awakening” stage.” I began to see that there is an “us” and “them.” I realized that my “whiteness” has affected my life and my reality of the world. It has shaped many aspects of my life. Instead of avoiding racial issues like I did in the past, or denying that inequality exists, I now try and seek a deeper understanding of race.