gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It's Ted Cruz For A Change

Thu, 1 Jan 2015 17:09:44 +0000

The school teams were known as the Pekin Chinks from the 1930s until 1980 when the school administration changed the nickname to the Dragons.[14] The team mascots were a male and female student dressed as Chinese persons wearing stereotypical Chinese attire. The mascots would strike a gong whenever the team scored. An earlier attempt was made by a visit of Chinese American groups to change the name from Chinks during the 1974–1975 school year; this was voted down by the student body. The event received national attention. I went to a school event there in the late 1990s. The current students still had "Chink pride". Ugh.

Wonkette : Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It's Ted Cruz For A Change

Thu, 1 Jan 2015 17:05:46 +0000

Backpfeifengesicht: my favorite German word.

Wonkette : Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It's Ted Cruz For A Change

Thu, 1 Jan 2015 16:58:40 +0000

These kinds of “arguments” — if you want to call them that, and we don’t — play well in Peoria, but they’ve won Cruz no friends in Washington. Oy. I live in Peoria (well near Peoria in BFE) and I think the only apt response to Ted Cruz's rhetoric is to create an pterodactyl and train it to bite off his tiny genitals. Fuck that guy. Figuratively.

Wonkette : Jeb Bush May Bless Us With Presidential Run

Wed, 17 Dec 2014 16:17:32 +0000

Her name is Jarbara Bush Jr.

Wonkette : Fox News Is Very Confused By You Kids And Your Jay-Z And Your Hippity Hop Songs

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 23:28:59 +0000

There is nothing beautiful about Jay. He looks even more like a turtle-human sexytimes abomination than Senator McConnell. Beyonce, on the other hand, smoking hot.

Wonkette : RNC Chair Reince Priebus Will Buy President Pizza, To Save Money, For Freedom

Tue, 9 Apr 2013 19:58:15 +0000

This comment made my day.

Wonkette : RNC Chair Reince Priebus Will Buy President Pizza, To Save Money, For Freedom

Tue, 9 Apr 2013 19:40:39 +0000

Does Godfather's offer bag-of-dicks as a topping? If so, I would have it delivered to Rancid Pubis' office every day except his birthday.

Wonkette : My Jimmies Remain Rustled: Wonket Teen Korner For Teenz, Religion Edition

Sun, 7 Apr 2013 03:41:21 +0000

Pre-pubescent girls like boys that look like girls; post-pubescent girls like boys that aren't demonstrably gay.

Wonkette : My Jimmies Remain Rustled: Wonket Teen Korner For Teenz, Religion Edition

Sun, 7 Apr 2013 03:38:45 +0000

My Jr. High Sex Ed. teacher was a flagrant over-sharer. To this day, I have never had a urinary tract infection because she taught us to always pee right after sex. She also told us how great sex was, but to make sure the guy always washed after anything anal before anything vaginal. She was, in a word, awesome, but I felt sorry for her granddaughter that was in our grade.

Wonkette : Announcing Wonket's Teen Korner! For Teenz!

Mon, 1 Apr 2013 02:47:37 +0000

I was cyber-bullied in 1998, when cyberbullying meant my asshole ex-boyfriend printing off an aol chat session wherein he and his friends made fun of me and passing it around at school the next day. I can't even imagine what kids have to deal with now. At least then, some of the meaner teenage sociopaths never bothered to log on because they didn't have the patience for dial-up.

Wonkette : White House Tours Now More Important Than Eating, Praying, Pretty Much Everything In Universe

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 02:32:19 +0000

Smart people/drunken degenerates.

Wonkette : Very Sane Tea Party Man Warns Of Obama's Army Of Blacks

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 19:24:23 +0000

Despite my extreme whiteness, can I volunteer for the Black Army of Death? It seems way more fun and more likely to win than the True American Resistance, mostly because they are too busy feuding with the Real US American Rebellion. You would think they would have learned something from the sad history of the People's Front of Judea.

Wonkette : Wonket's Super Happy Love Shine Fun Pal (Who Is Not At All A Deranged Assbag) Bradlee Dean Explains

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 19:20:20 +0000

Where we you when they built the ladder to heaven? http://vimeo.com/14880810

Wonkette : Banks Will Now Review Themselves to Find Out if They Did Your Foreclosure Right

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 22:29:15 +0000

Because the banks stole all of the "nice things" money?

Wonkette : Banks Will Now Review Themselves to Find Out if They Did Your Foreclosure Right

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 22:26:10 +0000

Wells Fargo CEO--"You're doing a heckuva job, Welly!"

Wonkette : Banks Will Now Review Themselves to Find Out if They Did Your Foreclosure Right

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 22:24:53 +0000

Don't even get me started on big banks...ugh. I work at a four branch community bank. Last week a customer of ours came in with a problem check of $150.00 involving Wells Fargo. After over an hour of phone calls to different divisions, Wells Fargo's answer was that for such a small amount of money they didn't care, couldn't research where it was cashed or by whom in their software, and weren't even allowed to contact their own damn bookkeeping department, which was in another state. Jumping Jesus On A Pogostick.

Wonkette : Erick Erickson: Let's All Hit Other People's Children With Belts!

Tue, 5 Feb 2013 16:40:06 +0000

I am a child abuse survivor. Yell at him fine, but anyone touches my kid and I will get stabby.

Wonkette : Sexy Mommy Superbowl Halftime Makes National Review Very Uncomfortable

Tue, 5 Feb 2013 03:03:06 +0000

I am not so confused about sexy moms, but that is only because I am one.

Wonkette : Antonin Scalia Knows Sodomy & Murder Not Same Thing, He Just Likes Saying They Are

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 03:28:08 +0000

They will take my married buttsechs from my cold, dead, happy, satisfied hands.

Wonkette : Antonin Scalia Knows Sodomy & Murder Not Same Thing, He Just Likes Saying They Are

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 03:25:41 +0000

Oh, there will be plenty of people there to do the Heimlich, just everyone in the room will conveniently forget the steps until it is too late.