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1 week ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Unseen Aca... · 0 replies · +6 points

Buy things!

Aaaaand we're back. Play ball!

Death toll?

A certain prowess with the stiletto dagger. (pg 9)
Sometime people left in disgrace, in a box or, in a few cases, in bits. but there was no tradition of resigning at all. (pg 23)
It has been the cause of a number of homicides. (pg 26)
Play until full time, first man dead or first score. (pg 28)
So there were all those big battles. (pg 35)
The Dark War had engulfed Far Uberwald. (pg 36)
A leader who was not stupid, mad or dead. (pg 44)
Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted. (pg 52)
When a wizard who blinked died. (pg 54)
The used them to kill. (pg 58)
Any unreformed bloodsucker who tried to make a killing in the city would be hunted down by the people who knew exactly how they thought and where they hung out. (pg 59)
They came in thousands, like lice, killing everything and eating the dead, including theirs. (pg 60)
Unofficial evil wizards. (pg 82)
Big pole, spattered with red at the bottom. (pg 87)
The unofficial motto of the Lady Sybill Free Hospital was 'Not everybody dies'. (pg 97)
If it takes an Igor to bring you back, you were dead. Briefly dead, it's true, which is why the murderer will be briefly hanged. (pg 98)
The losing team was throttled. (pg 129)
Wizards exploding in a cloud of pomposity. (pg 198)
Selecting an Archchancellor. (pg 202)
Early blokes kicked a dead enemy's head around. Unlikely but...(pg 208/234)
Three dead languages, and the people who spoke them? (pg 223)
Just about every genuine battle between wizards has hitherto resulted in wholesale destruction. (pg 226)
Lord Vetinari is challenged very frequently. It's just that they don't win. (pg 228)
The Loko Business. (pg 228)
An expeditionary force into Far Uberwald. (pg 229)
Orcs all got killed off hundreds of years ago. (pg 271/277)
The battle of Orc Deep. (pg 281)
A lot of really interesting stuff happened under the Evil Emperor. (pg 284)
When King's fight Kings. (pg 284)
We used to fight dwarfs once. (pg 286)
Hen and Chickens Field. Where people were hanged. (pg 288)
All of the Orcs were hunted down after the war. (pg 309)
Pepe has done more damage with a broken champagne bottle. (pg 317)
It was a bloody war. (pg 321)
Mrs Atkinson, surely one of the most feared Faces who had ever wielded a sharpened umbrella with malice aforethought. (pg 327)
A terrible mining accident and a rather unusual rock slide. (pg 333)
Men killing one another and beasts tearing decent folks apart. (pg 368)
The arena of the Hippo, oceans of blood over the centuries. (pg 382)
Forgiveness is the name of Pastor Oat's double headed battle-axe. For Mister Oats the crusade against evil is not a metaphor. (pg 395)

The Undead

A Zombie who worked in the Kitchen (pg 37)
Charlie - Skeleton

You think it's all over?

Well yes. Yes it is. Unless we're going to penalties?

R 'offside' id

1 week ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Unseen Aca... · 1 reply · +7 points

Death List 37.01b - Unseen Academicals

There's only one Death List 37.01b - Unseen Academicals! Ooooooonnnnnly one Death List 37.01b - Unseen Academicals!

It comes from a Doubleday HC of an 2009 vintage, playing a classic pg 9 to 400 formation. Let us commence the listing of death!

It is now!

Definitely died - on page

Nutt - whacked hard with a club (pg 94/97)

Definitely died - off page (ie referred to by someone)

Juliet Stollop's mother - dead (pg 12)
The previous Master of Traditions - dead for two hundred years (pg 23)
A senior director - from having his head from his head shut repeatedly in quite a small filing cabinet (pg 26)
Archchancellor Preserved Bigger's Bequest - dead then (pg 29)
Widow Crowdy's husband - dead (pg 50)
Three men - hanged last week (pg 58)
Evans the Striped - evaporated (pg 62)
Dave Likely - killed by The Dollies (pg 70/92)
Glenda's mother - luck to die with all her fingers (pg 104/106)
Charlie - he's dead (pg 139)
A person - head severed (pg 242)
An Orc - died (skull from the battle of Orc Deep) (pg 281/282)
Trev's mum - dead (pg 341)

Might have died

Bishop Horn realizing that alligator quiche was an unwise choice. (pg 191)

Uh oh. Looks like we're going into extra-time! Right after these messages from our sponsors!

18 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Making Mon... · 0 replies · +9 points

Death List 35.01b - Making Money

Money! Get Away! Get a new death list right now and you're okay!


It's a brand new Collectors Edition list. That's gotta be worth investing in right? A 2007 Doubleday Hardcover investment, stretching the dollar from page 9 to 349.

The payoff starts... now.

Definitely died - on page

Mrs Topsy Lavish - known to be very ill. (pg 74)
Mr Morpeth - crossbow shot to the head from Cranberry (pg 88/178)

Definitely died - off page (ie referred to by someone)

Dyslexic Alphabet Killer - page 1 of the Tanty Bugle. Presumably hung. (pg 27)
Person A - victim of the Dyslexic Alphabet Killer. (pg 27)
Person W - victim of the Dyslexic Alphabet Killer. (pg 27)
Former Master of the Royal Mint - died at age ninety, of a schism of the heart. (pg 30)
Sir Joshua Lavish - died in his own bed, aged eighty, after a very large meal of devilled oysters. (pg 31)
Mr Shady 1-17 - hereditary foremen.
Man who made the eyebrow training machine - poisoned by Cosmo Lavish. (pg 111)
A couple of mysterious murders - had helped get Vetinari the Patricianship. (pg 111)
Boy in the hat shop - killed my Cranberry in a drunken brawl. (pg 113/116)
The brother of Cosmo's great-grandfather - pushed over the balcony. (pg 121)
Harry King's last clerk - caught fiddlin' (pg 150)
"Owlswick Jenkins" - hung. (pg 177)
A man - dying of fear as Cribbens prised out his teeth. (pg 183)
Professor Flead - the late Professor Flead. (pg 198)
Charlie - he's been at the University for _ever_ (pg 213)
Fent - Professor Flead's concubine. Died more than 300 years ago. (pg 218)
Professor Cranberry - dead. (pg 307/312)
Ribcage Jack - kicked to death. (pg 307/312)
Mr Bent's mother - died. (pg 329)

Death toll?

The Tanty Bugle was noted for its coverage of murders (preferably 'orrible), trials, prison escapes, and the world that in general is surrounded by a chalk outline. (pg 27)
To get a job at the Mint you had to wait until someone died. (pg 40)
Things with the names of dead men on them. (pg 86)
Cosmo Lavish - Probably bought death when he needed it. (pg 89)
City of Um was in first war with the Ice giants. People most likely died. Subsequent wars too. (pg 198)
In Professor Flead's day you had to find your own corpse or make one. (pg 218)
The Umnians were quite creative in human sacrifice. (pg 221)
Dr Hans Forvold created a revolutionary living-brain extractor. (pg 246)
Assassins' School Scholarship boys got bullied. Some of them survived. (pg 303)
One of Vetinari's predecessors had people torn apart by wild tortoises. (pg 334)

The Undead

Mr Slant - zombie
Otto Chriek - vampire


You can take this one to the bank. Queries? Questions? I am sure to take an... interest.

R 'mintyfresh' id

26 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Wintersmit... · 0 replies · +13 points

Death List 34.00b - Wintersmith

Tis the season! The season of debut electronic editions of Death Lists. Still. Past me was turning into quite the slacker. It's that most wonderful time of the year? With the freezing rain and the ice pellets and the oceans of slush[1] and the...

Uh... sorry... where was I? Ohright I was with the 2006 Doubleday Hardcover edition. With pages running from page 9 to 399.

Everybody dance now!

Definitely died - on page

Miss Treason - died on Friday, just past before six in the morning (pg 118/170)
Mr Tissot - he was dead (pg 248)

Definitely died - off page (ie referred to by someone)

Roland's mother - is dead (pg 344)
a man - the Wintersmith is freezing the sweat on a dying man, lost in a terrible blizzard (pg 357)

Death toll?

Witches drowned or burned in the past. (pg 52/56)
Petulia has sat up with the dead and dying. Some humans. (pg 154/155)
People died. It was sad, but they did. (pg 155)
Tiffany sitting up with the dead and the dying. (pg 162)
The war in Klatchistan. (pg 262)
When Anoia was a volcano goddess. It was good work apart from the screaming. (pg 263)
Lots of poor seamen got drownded. They hit an iceberg in the fog. (pg 312)
No man has ever gone over the Lancre falls and lived to tell the tale. Except for Mr Parkinson. (pg 331)
The Wintersmith is a gale wrecking ships, freezing pipes in a snowbound town... (pg 357)
Roland's ancestors had come to own the Chalk by killing the kings who thought they did. (pg 357/358)
The Underworld. Dead when you shouldn't be and there's no place to go. (pg 360)
The Queen of Fairyland has pets that feed you dreams until you die. (pg 368)

Is it spring yet?

R 'listsmith' id

[1] Band name.

33 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Thud!': Pa... · 0 replies · +10 points

Death List 34.00b - Thud!

It looks like it's fresh lists all the way down now. At least past me managed to write this one down already? Leaving this preamble to come hot off the press(ing of keyboard) and stumble back into the light. We are, as is the way amongst out people, numbering from a Doubleday Hardcover, this time coming from 2005. Pages running from 9 to a respectable 362.

Into the Listing Dark...

Definitely died - on page

Gunder Ironcrust - killed with an axe (pg 169)
another two dwarfs - killed with an axe (pg 169)
Lars Legstrong - throat cut (pg 173)
a deep dwarf - stabbed with an ice knife by Wilikins (pg 223)
another deep dwarf - incinerated by a dragon / exploding flamethrower (pg 226)
once more a deep dwarf - suicide (pg 230)
Helmclever - died of fear andor guilt (pg 262/263)
a dwarf - very dead, stalagmite had formed (pg 323)
deep dwarf guard - exploding flamethrower (pg 325)
the slowest four deep dwarf guards - went down to the axe and the sword (pg 326)
B'hrian Bloodaxe - died in the caves (pg 345)
Diamond King of Trolls - died in the caves (pg 346)

Definitely died - off page (ie referred to by someone)

Methodia Rascal - Born, painted famous picture, thought he was a chicken, died (Pg 26)
Lance-Constable Horace Hitherto - walloped on the back of the head (pg 149)
Garg Hamcrusher - killed with a mining hammer by another Garg (pg 256)
Sybil's late aunt - she's a late aunt (pg 281)

Might have died

a troll - Chrysoprase said it would not be a problem making sure Vimes never laid eyes on him again, and indicated a small box (pg 111)
two more deep dwarf guards - Vimes whirled the sword around in a circle (pg 326)

Death toll?

Discussions on the vexed area of turf issues by the Shamlegger Street Rude Boys with the young men from Rope Street. (pg 12)
Koom Valley Days in Ankh-Morpork - there had been some deaths. (pg 32)
Sally's family had a history of throat-biting. (pg 53)
Koom Valley - There have been 15 or 16 battles referred to by that name. (pg 142) The first battle, interrupted by a thunderstorm, a flash flood full of boulders. (pg 235) Dead dwarfs cremated at the end of the valley. (pg 278) Hundreds of dwarfs and trolls swept up in famous flood and many had never been found again (pg 295) The dwarfs and trolls now covered by stalagmites and stalactites.
Cockbill St stopping the territorial agression of the Pigsty Hill Dead Marmoset Gang. (pg 229)
Sybil's great grandmother once cooked, personally, a full dinner for eighteen in a military redoubt that was entirely surrounded by bloodthirsty Klatchians. Her grandmother defended the embassy in Pseudopolis against a mob. (pg 281)
Visitors to Koom Valley. (pg 305/306)

The Undead

Otto Chriek - Vampire
John Smith (aka Count Vargo St Gruet von Vilinus) - Vampire
Sally (aka Salacia Deloresista Amanita Trigestatra Zeldana Malifee... von Humperding) - Vampire


R 'Where's my List?' id

37 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Going Post... · 0 replies · +6 points

Oh I'm sure they definitely died. For some Reason (probably) in the Feet of Clay list I gave them their own section. So this is just following along with that.

Though it's possible visiting with Death should move them to the full list also.


37 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Going Post... · 2 replies · +18 points

Death List 33.00b - Going Postal

Once again a first day covering of a list. A proof if you will. Or indeed if you won't. Proof of what? Proof that I can be really bad with preambles. So let us quickly preamble our way through this 2004 Doubleday Hardcover edition. With pages running from page 7 to a concluding 352.

Delivery time!

Definitely died - on page

John Dearheart - fell to his death from a clacks tower. (pg 9)
Mr Gryle - thrown into the Sorting Engine. (pg 239)
Reacher Gilt - fell to his death. (pg 352)

Definitely died - off page (ie referred to by someone)

a bloke who made his way down the prison drain - fished out and most likely hung. (pg 13)
Mr Mutable - fell down into the big hall from the fifth floor. Head first, it was a bit... splashy. (pg 80)
Mr Sideburn - fell down the back stairs and broke his neck. (pg 80)
Mr Ignavia - they said it was his heart. (pg 80)
Mr Whobblebury - an industrial accident. His head was all over the wall. (pg 82)
Frederick - passed away ten years ago. (pg 90)
Sadie Parker - buried up in Small God's for the last five years. (pg 90)
King Het of Thut - the land of Thut slid under the sea 9,000 years ago. Possibly not how he died. (pg 153)
The Priests of Upsa - Upsa was destroyed by the explosion of Mount Shiputu. They might have died before that. (Pg 154)
The Fishermen Kings of the Holy Ult - Anghammarad worked for them before sliding under the sea. (pg 154)
Professor Goitre, Posthumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy - he took Early Death (pg 173)
Crispin Horsefy - mauled to death in his house. (pg 177)
Moist's Father - dead. (pg 204)
Moist's Mother - dead. (pg 204)
clacksman - died on Tower 93. (pg 212)
another clacksman - fell from Tower 93. (pg 212)
Mr Gryle's grandmother - he ate his grandmother, gnawed her bones. (pg 223)
one of Igor's previous masters - stepped into a pit lined with spikes. (pg 273)

Might have died

someone - Moist was certain he saw someone fall off a clacks tower. (pg 192)

Death toll?

The Flotillas of the Dead. Dead ships with their skeleton crews. (pg 7)
Sometimes clacksmen thought they could fly. (pg 8)
Daniel "One Drop" Trooper the hangman has hanged dozens of people. (pg 14)
Rival clacks companies have failed quite quickly, sometimes in distressing circumstances. Falls from the tops of clacks towers, and so on. So not just John Dearheart? (pg 74)
Those whose deaths were hastened by Moist's actions. (pg 95)
The souls of dead linesmen stay on the Trunk. (pg 99) The Hour of the Dead, Just before Dawn. That's when people die. (pg 210) One man has died for every three towers standing. (pg 328)
Burglers who get *into* Harry King's yards at night. Saves on having to feed the dogs. (pg 129)
The land of Thut slid under the sea 9,000 years ago. (pg 153)
Upsa was destroyed by the explosion of Mount Shiputu. (Pg 154)
Many Kings. Many Empires. Many Gods. Many Gods. All Gone. All Things Go. (pg 155)
A lot of the older Wizards are taking Early Death. (pg 174)
Lady Sybil Free Hospital, some people don't die. (pg 234)
Not as many mountain bandits as there were. Never found out what wiped them out. (pg 284)

The Undead

Mr Slant - zombie

The Golems

Anghammarad - exploded. (pg 241)

List *posted*. Which is what lists are for really.

R 'glom of nit' id

37 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Going Post... · 0 replies · +5 points

I would guess delivering letter(s) to the gods?

49 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'A Hat Full... · 1 reply · +6 points

Two posts for Arthur within a minute of each other. Which one is the burner account!?

One pondered Arthur and couldn't decide. But there's probably enough wossname for their own place. I will add. Yeah those invisible footsteps should be included too. I must have fallen asleep there.

R 'adding up' id

49 weeks ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'A Hat Full... · 4 replies · +11 points

Death List 32.00b - A Hat Full of Sky

And once again it is time for the Death List trials. Another debut entry because a past *someone* found it too much effort to transcribe a scibbled paper note to a scribbled electronic notepad. Tcha. What kind of example is that for the kids of today? The kind that comes from an 2004 Doubleday Hardcover edition. With pages running the gamut of page 9 to 349. Which is a lot of gamut right there let me tell you.

Which is a lot of gamut right there. What?

Bringing on the list ye scunner!

Definitely died - on page

Miss Level - the Hiver... killed (pg 204)

Definitely died - off page (ie referred to by someone)

Miss Level's mother - died not long after she was born (pg 85)
Professor Sensibility Bustle - all that could be found of the Professor was buried in a jar in the old Rose Garden (pg 96)
Widow Tussy's husband - *Widow* Tussy (pg 111)
Toby Weavall - dead for 15 years (pg 114)
Mary Weavall - died quite young (pg 114)
12 husbands - killed by a Desert Queen with scorpion sandwiches (pg 240)
Nancy Weavall - dead (pg 265)
Tiffany's other grandmother - died before she was born (pg 286)

Might have died

Miss Level's father - at sea and never came back (pg 85)
The so-called Archchancellor and the College Council - what the Hiver-possessed Professor Bustle did to them (pg 96)
Mrs Happen's son - lost at sea thirty years ago (pg 311)

Death toll?

Those that get to know the Feegle and survive. Sooo the other ones. (pg 9)
The ancient kings whose burial mounds are lived in by Feegles. (pg 11)
Victims of the Hiver. The brain that was doing the thinking for it had died. They always died. (pg 15)
The voices of Feegles that died long ago. (pg 44)
The ill-fated First Expedition to the Loko Region. (pg 93)
Sittin' up all night with some poor old man who's leavin' the world. (pg 250)
The type of Royalty that *is* beheaded or has something nasty done to them with a red-hot poker. (pg 256)
There when old folk are dying. (pg 320)

That certainly was an Trial right there. Challenges?

R 'what a list is' id