19 comments posted · 106 followers · following 0

8 years ago @ The Toast - Every Comment Made By ... · 0 replies · +34 points

fwiw, in the early days of the internet - think mid 90s/early 2ks - the first thing happened a looooooooooot. it was the #1 way my 14yr old self saw dick pics, just trying to find other queer women to talk to - and bam! one of those people pretending to be a lesbian would send me a (verrrrrry sloooooooooow loading terribly shot) picture of their dick. sometimes i could be talking to someone for weeks before they got bored, or annoyed, or they were mad i wouldn't send them pics, or drunk, or whatever, and bam! suddenly a big long awful email about how i wasn't really queer complete with a pic of their junk.

otoh, i was also friends with many trans women at the same time, both online and off, and none of them have every been inappropriate with what they shared of themselves and how they shared it. in fact, it was their influence that finally put a name to a bunch of weird feelings i have always had and allowed me to see that i am genderqueer.

this might be something that interpretation depends on what sort of internet communities you came up in. i didn't even consider the transphobic interpretation until i got to the comments because the first thing happened to me and other women i knew at the time so often.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Every Comment Made By ... · 0 replies · +3 points

i nearly spit coffee out of my nose at that part.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Every Comment Made By ... · 7 replies · +4 points

so i somehow have never seen the l word? i can only blame the straight side of my queerness...

should i watch it? i can never tell if people (women, queer women) like it and like to make fun of it or hate it and like to make fun of it...

8 years ago @ The Toast - North Carolina's Anti-... · 0 replies · +4 points

hello! i was gone for 15ish years! grew up here, moved back because these roots just kept pulling at me. dealing with jerks like latour has been rough, but it's still home.

8 years ago @ The Toast - North Carolina's Anti-... · 2 replies · +13 points

here's an article covering most of it. i can't wait to vote him out.

8 years ago @ The Toast - North Carolina's Anti-... · 1 reply · +42 points

the city council meetings when my town got our anti discrimination ordinance were brutal. i wish it were something i could just blame on "lawmakers" (in my case the lawmakers were actually mostly on the pro-inclusion side) but unfortunately there's a fairly vocal group of transphobic fearmongering citizens here and they are proud to wave that ignorance and hate around. i was especially disappointed as female sexual assault survivors (a group i'm part of) used their prior assaults - which didn't take place in bathrooms by strangers or women - to bolster their safety claims. i am proud of the overwhelming majority of people who stood up and supported our ordinance, and the incredibly brave trans women who spoke on their own behalf. little by little we chip away at this hate, hopefully.

8 years ago @ The Toast - North Carolina's Anti-... · 6 replies · +51 points

my town got an anti-discrimination ordinance, it got reversed on a special election (you might have heard about the michelle duggar robocalls), then we voted again and it went forward. a few other towns in our state did the same thing. the arkansas legislature responded by banning all anti-discrimination ordinances. we're waiting for a variety of court cases to wind themselves through, hoping we'll prevail. we've already made it successfully through a couple challenges.

just this last week, an alderman (who was helped into office through bathroom panic and the duggars money) approached a woman while she was doing her job, demanded to know her gender, and said he was a man and could "prove it" (he claims this wasn't a threat to expose himself, because he thinks we were all born yesterday). he's also demanded to know the gender of a city contractor and makes statements about how "you just can't tell." we're stuck with him for 3 more years.

transphobia is a blight and states barring towns from being more inclusive are giving comfort to that bigotry. i am eager for federal action that enshrines lgbt protections, with special focus on the rights of trans people.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Ayn Rand's Firefly... · 0 replies · +145 points

this is the worst/best thing you've ever done.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Femslash Friday: Rizzo... · 0 replies · +2 points

this should be reposted for the morning crowd because it's even more appropriate, except maybe ship every single pink lady with frenchy because it would undoubtedly work! and omg, BLANCHE!

8 years ago @ The Toast - Feelings I Have Had Ab... · 1 reply · +6 points

i respect that's how you feel about it. the victim and the family in this case seem to disagree from everything i've read.

and man do i ever agree with the chrissie hynde thing. as a survivor i try to extend empathy to other survivors who have turned the pain of their own assaults into blaming themselves so hard that they start blaming others for supposed faults they see in themselves. but i also get angry because of the platform that women like her have and i know what it's like to be a younger woman trying to come to terms with my abuse and hearing women i respect react like that. her and serena and the other women who take this road have done a lot of harm, and it doesn't much matter all the time why they're doing it. but i still try to consider it because i can see where it can come from a place of great pain.