en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/6232387 Comments by chlobes_ http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/04/09/voices-from-the-classroom-298/#IDComment619460884 From the perspective of a girl, there could be two sides as to why a girl wouldn't tell her partner if she orgasmed or not. For one, she could not want her partner to feel embarrassed because there's so much emphasis on both people being pleased that they could just feel as though they're sparing their partners feelings. Girls usually want their sexual partner to feel as though they had both been fulfilled, but the traditional definition is having an orgasm. A girl may feel fully satisfied and have enjoyed herself, but it may just be easier to lie instead of trying to explain that she didn't really need to orgasm in order to feel like the sex was good for her too. On the other hand, a girl may not disclose this information for fear that something may be wrong with herself. If someone is not fully comfortable with their body or their partner, then they might think that there's a problem with their body. It might be that they believe they weren't performing right or to their own full potential. Another reason that some can't reach an orgasm is not being comfortable with their partner so they might not want to admit that they hadn't really felt totally comfortable or weren't able to get themselves to a place that would let me have an orgasm. While some may look at this and think how terrible, those poor girls, not every girl feels they need to orgasm in order for the sex to be good. It tends to be what everyone really focuses on to determine whether or not someone is “good in bed”. Girls may just keep this information to themselves because they don't even feel that it's important. I think that some girls may understand that the orgasm isn't really all that important to them, so they don't talk about it with their partner because they don't even see it as a problem in their relationship or one night stand. Ultimately I think it really depends on the girl because there could be many reasons as to why a girl doesn't choose to share whether or not she had an orgasm during sex. They could be “bad” reasons, but most likely it's just because they don't even really see it as a problem. I think the focus of sex should really try to shift more towards what each individual person finds to be satisfying that fulfilling so that we aren't just assuming whether or not someone had a good time. We shouldn't feel embarrassed to find pleasure in different forms than just this traditional definition of what's satisfying to both guys and girls. I think it's important to not really focus so much on the statistics if there aren't all of the facts behind it. Some girls may say they don't orgasm, but it also might not even matter to them. All in all, sometimes it's embarrassment and sometimes it's just not that important to people. Mon, 15 Apr 2013 02:22:29 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/04/09/voices-from-the-classroom-298/#IDComment619460884 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/03/28/voices-from-the-classroom-286/#IDComment608352760 I think I can empathize with the Jasiri X lecture in the way that I understand being a minority is certainly tougher in this society, but I think he really turned people off when he started being very aggressive and preachy about white people. I think I have a pretty rounded knowledge of white privilege, casual racism, and the issues that affect minority groups. I personally wasn’t very offended by what he was saying, but I think it’s because I understood more where he was coming from than your average white person. I didn’t really see it as white bashing so much as pointing out facts and history. I think white people get so offended when you bring up history because “it’s the past” and “we weren’t the ones who had slaves” but it’s important to know where you come from and how we got here. Minorities have had a tough time for all of history. It’s almost unfair to just tell them to work harder. Work harder than me just so we can be at the same level, it’s insulting. Growing up as a middle class white girl from a small suburb in New Jersey, I rarely had to deal with race relations of any sort and I used to be very ignorant to everything around me, but with more education and research I’ve come to see that racism is still very much alive. It’s only understandable that in a movement that’s been pushed on for so many years there will be those are more radical and in your face. Change takes time, but people don’t want to have to wait for old white racist men to die, or suddenly change their minds. They want the equality that they think they deserve. I can see how Jasiri X rubbed people the wrong way, but to me, “white bashing” is cop out term to make yourself feel like you don’t need to see the bigger picture. Is it white bashing if he’s telling the truth? I don’t think he was really putting the blame on us as individuals. White people have the power, there’s white privilege, and you need to understand that calling you out isn’t trying to guilt you, it’s trying to make you understand. Minorities have it harder. Sometimes the only way to get people to listen is to be loud and in their face. To me, white guilt is an easy way to say “I think I’m a good person, but I want to stay ignorant to the issues at hand” Instead of feeling guilty, try to change something. Recognize things like casual racism and try to change how you view things. There are a lot of things in my life that I have changed after I recognized how they were still racist and offensive, even if I didn’t see it that way. Who are we to tell people what is and isn’t offensive to them when we’re the ones dishing it out. We should be trying to change things instead of crying out that a black man hurt our feelings by “white bashing” Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:16:32 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/03/28/voices-from-the-classroom-286/#IDComment608352760 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/03/22/voices-from-the-classroom-278/#IDComment603483737 Sam's lecture really helped to solidify a lot of the things I already had a vague knowledge of. I was aware that names that aren't “white” are less likely to get a call back for a job, but I didn't really know the numbers behind that. Learning that it was 50% more likely you wouldn't get a call back really showed me that the things I hoped weren't true, actually are. Everyone today talks about how racism doesn't really exist anymore because it's not really in the forefront, but this makes it clear it is still a big problem. I noticed how the class seemed to be a bit skittish and irritated when Sam mentioned white supremacy, and I imagine that it's because that's associated with groups like the KKK, but in reality he was just trying to get across his point that this is still a country dominated by the white population. It's hard to recognize that you have power when you've never been the one without it. People always like to complain about how being a middle class white kid hurts them when they try to apply to college because all colleges look for is different ethnic groups, but have you ever really looked around Penn State? It's really not as diverse as you think. Statistically, Penn State itself is about 71% white so it's doubtful that being white really even hurt your chances. Also, Sam talked about how most benefits go to women, and I think it's great that women receive help, but then of course it's mostly white women. People always seem to forget that things like feminism (which I mean in it's truest definition of equality to the genders and not the common misconception of hatred of men) need to be for all women, and not just white women. Even in a simple act like that it's still separating the races. People are always so quick to say that they should just work hard like everyone else, why should they even get government handouts they don't deserve. Well, why do you deserve anything you have? You probably couldn't really give me a good answer to that question to be honest. Who are you to even decide who deserves something and who doesn't? It should be common knowledge that it's harder in this society for minorities than it is for white people. If you've ever looked into anything related to education, or even seen the documentary called Waiting for Superman, then you would know that education plays a big role when it comes to race. Unfortunately the majority of inner-city children are minorities, and they receive some of the worst schooling around. They get recycled “lemon” teachers who aren't very good at what they do and don't really seem to care about how well their classes do either. It's a vicious cycle and perpetuates a racial divide and keeps minority groups from getting the proper education they need to advance in their lives. So basically what I'm trying to get across is that racial division is still a big issue, but it tends to be one that is able to be kept hidden so to the mass public it seems like racism has essentially died down and disintegrated. Mon, 25 Mar 2013 02:59:20 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/03/22/voices-from-the-classroom-278/#IDComment603483737 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/03/12/voices-from-the-classroom-269/#IDComment598115082 Many of you are stating arguments saying that women are free and they simply chose not to answer the question. While it may be true that some girls are uncomfortable talking about their periods, I feel as though you're not looking at the bigger picture. The real question is why are we afraid to discuss these things? Because it's a social construction. Guys can openly talk about masturbating and pooping and having sex, but if a girl says any of those things she is gross, disgusting, slutty, etc. It's a double standard that keeps girls in fear of being judged for doing things that everyone else does. When Sam asked how many boys had masturbated over break they shot their hands up almost as if they were proud, and we're all taught that this a normal thing. Boys will masturbate. Then someone brought up the point that he didn't kick this question out to the girls, so he did. No one raised there hands. Why? Because a fear of judgement. A vicious double standard that tells girls we're not allowed to do that or talk about it because then we're slutty and not “lady-like”. You may think you're free and not choosing to discuss the topic, but think about WHY you don't talk about it. Because we live in a society that tells girls we have to be perfect ladies or fear the judgement of everyone around us. Maybe talking about periods wasn't a great example, in fact Sam himself didn't even say the word. He said bleeding. That to me just shows how taboo it really is, and for what reason? We can talk about boys masturbating more than a natural cycle that happens to girls every month? It's just blood, so what's the big deal. I can talk about my period with my boyfriend, and fortunately he's completely comfortable with the subject (as am I). Obviously I can respect the fact that there are girls who like to keep things private and that's perfectly normal, but my problem is that we don't get to really choose. How many of you held back because you didn't want the boys in the room to know? So what, maybe they should grow up. Periods are part of being a woman, not something we should be ashamed of. It's not the best topic, periods suck, but I should be able to say that. I should be able to say the word period without feeling boys cringe because they're too immature to handle it and then have to constantly listen to them call the girls they slept with sluts. This fear of not being good enough for the public really holds us back. As soon as we become anything but perfect, we're unsuitable. You may think you're free, but until you have the real option of speaking without fear of being called disgusting, you are not. Mon, 18 Mar 2013 02:14:55 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/03/12/voices-from-the-classroom-269/#IDComment598115082 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/02/21/voices-from-the-classroom-255/#IDComment578699943 Growing up with an Atheist mom and a dad who never really touched upon religion, I was always taught that evolution was the only explanation and there was no room for anything else. I had never taken part in church or Sunday school, so I knew nothing about Creationism. I still don't know all too much, but to me at this point I still whole-heartedly believe in evolution. I think that now I'm just more open to the idea of spirituality and the idea that everything is connected. At the risk of coming off sounding stupid, I feel that I can only explain in the way that the planet in Avatar was portrayed. To me, I feel as though a higher being may play it's part in connecting us to the Earth itself. Looking into the culture of Native Americans, it seems to me that they got it right. Everything is connected, nothing belongs to anyone, and no one is greater than anyone else. So I guess you could say I don't really believe in Creationism in it's true sense, but I definitely am more open to the idea of something other than science playing it's part in how the Earth is currently shaped today. It's hard for me to dispute the idea of evolution when the evidence is overwhelming and all around us. It makes more sense in my mind that different skin colors came from the adaption to UV rays than that they were just created that way. What I took away from this class was a new way of looking at things. I have really learned to step outside of my own perspective. I can't say that what I know is fact, and I think it's healthy to challenge yourself and what you believe. I grew up all my life being taught that science was the only way of thinking and told to push religion out. I can't say I really agree with religion still, but I think I've really opened my mind more to the idea that we really don't know what's absolutely true. Mon, 25 Feb 2013 03:12:23 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/02/21/voices-from-the-classroom-255/#IDComment578699943 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/02/14/voices-from-the-classroom-248/#IDComment573671623 I think the reason that Americans are so negative toward Muslims is because we lack empathy for them. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks most Americans began to associate terrorism with being Muslim, and even worse the association spread to all of those from the Middle East (whether they are Muslim or not). The propaganda that is used in this country tends to sway most Americans towards hating entire countries of people that they have never met before. They say that knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss. I think this applies beautifully to how Americans view other people. Our government and media hold the power to sway our opinions and we stay blissfully ignorant about who these people really are. Fear of the unknown is what causes us to lose our rational sense of thinking. To hate an entire religion that you know nothing about makes absolutely no sense. The negatively towards Muslims is based off of mere assumptions and a mob mentality. We somehow believe that all Muslims hate Americans because of 9/11 and the war in Iraq and the increased security in airports. Once a certain group of people try to cause us harm we jump to the conclusion that anyone from that group could potentially try to do the same. Now whenever we go to the airport, anyone who even slightly appears to be middle eastern in anyway will make us uneasy. Any darker skinned person will be “randomly selected” for a full body search. We try to rationalize this is our heads by saying we're just trying to take precautionary measures, but what if it were you? Our ability to stereotype is incredible. Americans tend to stereotype with every racial group. Asians are smart, black people are ghetto, muslims are terrorists, etc, etc. Instead of getting to know another culture and taking the time to see these people as individuals, we become quick to judge who they are and what role they play in society. Our fear is what drives us to so quickly dismiss the possibility that this was an isolated case against us and that not all Muslims are trying to wipe out this country. It's been the same throughout history, you find an enemy and you convince yourself that they couldn't possibly be anything like us. Of course the Muslims hate us, look at 9/11 and the terrorists! It goes to show that to assume only makes an ass out of you and me. Mon, 18 Feb 2013 01:44:33 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/02/14/voices-from-the-classroom-248/#IDComment573671623 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/02/07/voices-from-the-classroom-243/#IDComment568280100 Personally, I could never join the military. In the most fundamental aspect, I could never bring myself to take another life. The thought of shooting another human being makes me sick to my core. I have never been a big fan of guns to begin with and I don't think I could even shoot one even if it was just within a shooting range. The military also requires extreme discipline and physical fitness, neither of which I have. Besides the fact that I don't see myself being able to complete training and all of those aspects, I just don't agree with what the military does in certain aspects. I think it's absolutely fantastic that our military is able to build schools, helps kids, etc. but it's the other things that really get to me. People join the military to serve our country, but do they really know what that means? The war in Iraq was purely based around oil and trying to control their resources hidden under the guise of “weapons of mass destruction” (which were never even found, by the way). I'm not saying you're a bad person to join the military, not at all, because they do so much good, but there's also an aspect of blind obedience to the job. You take orders whether you agree with them or not and carry them out. The death of civilians and destruction of countries really turns me off to the whole idea. I don't think that is something I could really be a part of. Another reason I could not bring myself to join the military is the thought of always moving around. The people I know that are in the military are always moving to different bases in different states and that is not something I think I could handle. That and being deployed to foreign countries for months at a time would really bring me down. The whole concept of war scares me to no end. To think that we try to solve our problems through violence and force makes me so uneasy. I think that we forget that we are all people with families and friends and lives and things that we want to accomplish. I guess I'm saying that I'm too “emotional” to be in military. I like to look at everyone from their point of view instead of just my own. I feel that America is so focused on being the best country that we forget what it is to be compassionate and understanding. We have the biggest military by far, and for what? Maybe we wouldn't have countries with vendettas against us if we stopped trying to steal everyone else's natural resources and force them to live by our rules in their own country. So I guess you could say there's a few reasons I wouldn't join the military. Mon, 11 Feb 2013 02:14:39 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/02/07/voices-from-the-classroom-243/#IDComment568280100 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/01/31/voices-from-the-classroom-235/#IDComment561994859 When someone is struggling with something, whether it be an eating disorder, self harm, or just self confidence, it's important to let them know that you are there for them. Rather than telling someone that things could always be worse or to just deal with it, you should always extend a hand of kindness and let them know that you will listen to what they have to say. Sometimes just being there for someone can be a huge help. Personally, when I am dealing with a friend who is going through some type of personal struggle, I make sure to stress that it gets better. They may not believe you and it can take some time to convince them, but I believe it's one of the best things that you can emphasize. Whenever someone is dealing with a personal problem, they tend to feel isolated and retreat into their own head. Another important thing to let someone know is that they aren't alone. Of course, everyone's issues have unique qualities and no one deals with something in the same exact way, but Sam did prove to us that there are other people who struggle with things just as we do. You may feel alone, but you're never alone. Now more than ever can you get help and find people who will love and support you through it all. From me to you, for anyone is currently dealing with or trying to recover from a personal hardship, I want you to know that it is okay to feel lonely, sad, angry, upset, and confused. I think we all spend too much time trying to cover up our feelings because we don't think it's okay to cry and yell and be scared. I think an important part of the healing process to let your emotions out. Once you can admit your feelings, it will be easier to come to terms with them. Also, don't be afraid to confide in someone you trust whether that be a friend, your parents, a teacher, CAPS, a therapist, there is always someone out there that is willing to listen and help you. You can even search the internet for support groups! Nobody has the right to make you feel like you aren't worth it. An big step in healing is to rid yourself of the negative energy around you and drop friends who only put you down. It may be hard to believe, but you can get help, you're not alone, and it really really does get better. Sun, 3 Feb 2013 20:58:22 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/01/31/voices-from-the-classroom-235/#IDComment561994859 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/01/23/voices-from-the-classroom-233/#IDComment555780116 I think that racism is something that is both difficult and easy to define. On one hand everyone seems to understand the basic meaning of what racism is; to see one race as inferior to another. Although this may seem to be a simple definition, I believe that is more that goes into what racism truly is than simply putting down another race. Something we never really hear about is cultural appropriation. Essentially, this is to adopt certain aspects of one culture into another. The reason that this is seen as racist is because it is believed that in America white people have the upper-hand or “white privilege” and to have white people taking what they want from one culture and incorporating it into their own is seen as disrespectful. This especially becomes an issue around Halloween when costumes tend to be centered around racial stereotypes. In a sense, it is seen as mocking other cultures – another example of white privilege. I've heard it said that you can't be racist towards white people because we are the ones who are the “oppressors” and racism is about being oppressed due to the color of your skin. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this statement, but I do see how it could be both right and wrong. I guess to me it just depends upon how you define racism. I don't think there's just one blanket definition that can truly cover all aspects of racism. Maybe none of us really know what completely defines racism since everyone tends to have a different view on the subject. I think most of the problem comes from white peoples fear of talking about the racism. It's like we're so programmed to be politically correct that we become afraid that anything we say will be racist. It's hard to talk about something that's so taboo. Because of this, most people think that racism is simply not using racial slurs and things of that nature because they're so obvious, but the problem is that we never talk about the other things that fall into racism. Saying “I'm not racist, I have black/asian/arab friends!” doesn't automatically make you not racist and I think that all too often people try to excuse what they do because it isn't an obvious form of racism like slurs and stereotypes. Racism isn't about what you're willing to say in front of others, it's about what you say when you're behind closed doors. It's about using blanket statements that further racial stereotypes, and using other cultures for fashion statements. There are so many different aspects that go into racism that it makes it harder to define. So for me, racism is holding another race to a lower standard, practicing white privilege, furthering racial stereotypes, cultural appropriation, and not challenging others to change their viewpoints when they do any of these things. Mon, 28 Jan 2013 02:45:29 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/01/23/voices-from-the-classroom-233/#IDComment555780116 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/01/18/voices-from-the-classroom-229/#IDComment549394526 I thought that Sam putting the girl on the spot was interesting because it didn't seem to bother her, but I could feel the class tensing beneath their laughter. It always seem to be such a touchy subject to question someone else's race and you can really offend some people. I think that Sam was trying to make a point in saying that appearance can be deceiving and essentially we can all be connected. As he said, genes are recessive and although you may believe that you came from one lineage, your genes may say otherwise. I don't think people are necessarily afraid to be of a different race, but to question your race is to challenge what you already know about "who you are". I think the concept of race allows people to tie themselves to one culture, one nation, a sense of community and pride. It comes back to the whole idea of being Irish-American instead of identifying as American even if you were born in America. I think people believe that where we come from defines who we are, so to question that may shake your faith a little bit. I believe the girl handled herself really well, and rather than coming off as offended she was simply trying to plead her case. That was how she grew up, it was what she knew and how she identified. Personally, whenever I'm asked about my lineage I've always identified myself as Irish and Hungarian, but I think if I were to find out that my ancestry traced back somewhere different I would be really interested and excited to learn about where I came from. I think that my interest stems from the fact that my dad is adopted so his ancestry wasn't always so set in stone. Putting someone on the spot with such a question about their race is different from how we are all answering this now. We have time to sit and ponder our answers, but when you catch someone off guard with a question that seems to have such power behind it, it forces the person answering the question to react in a very natural and raw way and it can tell you a lot about who they are and what they believe in. To me, race defines us through culture and custom and not necessarily where you come from. As Sam said in class, we all essentially came from the Sub-Sahara to begin with before others migrated to places all over the globe to where they have settled today. I think it's important to look at not only what makes us different, but what makes us the same. I think maintaining your culture is an important part of society, but I think we all need to remember that we're human beings and in the end we all have the same basic needs and desires. Sun, 20 Jan 2013 21:27:17 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2013/01/18/voices-from-the-classroom-229/#IDComment549394526