cheruber
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242 weeks ago @ The Toast - Childhood Magic Spells... · 2 replies · +16 points
2. Should I confess to my childhood friends that all the times we "communed with spirits" using a Ouija board, the spirit was actually me subtlety moving the planchette around?
And because I was the designated Secret Keeper of the group, I'd sometimes allude to things I knew and watch them start to work up a cold-sweat at the notion that not only are ghosts real, but they know you've got a crush on that grody kid in social studies who always eats his pen caps.
I NEVER ACTUALLY SPILLED THE SECRETS! I mean, I'm not a complete monster. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't take a perverse pleasure in exercising that measly bit of power. I always swore up and down I wasn't moving my fingers that it was the poltergeist. But it was me. Every damn time. God I loved that game. ...Yeah, I should probably talk to a therapist about that.
3. Bloody Mary is a walk in the park. Kids in Chicago turned off the lights and said "Candyman" in the bathroom mirror if they wanted to prove they weren't scaredy cats. On a related note, I am a card carrying member of the Scaredy Cat Alliance because that movie is no goddamn joke.
243 weeks ago @ The Toast - Aunt Acid: When Friend... · 0 replies · +18 points
246 weeks ago @ The Toast - Everything That's Wron... · 0 replies · +5 points
I mean, I'm a vegetarian and love all god's creatures but I'd kill those suckers for sport.
247 weeks ago @ The Toast - Let's Talk About The B... · 1 reply · +5 points
248 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +2 points
http://www.siskelfilmcenter.org/babushkas
250 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +1 points
Walking into the bathroom was like a warzone.
Bodies everywhere, people moaning in pain, sweaty.
The CDC came and interviewed us and took samples. Those people looked waaaay too happy to be handed specimen cups of explosive diarrhea.
254 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +1 points
<script async defer src="//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js"></script>
256 weeks ago @ The Toast - The Pledge I Assume Al... · 0 replies · +12 points
Funnily enough, I went back to my childhood dentist as college grad. They said since they still had my old file they'd just update it. The dentist asked if I had managed to stop sucking my thumb since my last visit.