en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/764129 Comments by cef5100 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/300000-whats-it-mean-to-us__trashed/#IDComment69480774 I think people feel like this because simply they are not close to it. They do not have any family members there and they may think it’s sad and take a little time to mourn, but like this girl in the video said it does not directly affect them, therefore, they do not care. If you think about it though what can someone like me (a college student) do to help besides donating money. Then even though you have donated money that is still not enough it seems like for a lot of people. I am sorry if this girl or whomever finds my post offensive, but I am at least taking a small step into helping I do not feel that I have to stop my life and go to some place like Haiti in order for others to think I am actually doing something for them. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 23:24:34 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/300000-whats-it-mean-to-us__trashed/#IDComment69480774 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69445070 I completely agree with your statement about the death penalty. I am sort of indifferent about it, however, thinking about it more and more I am swaying to the side of not having the death penalty. Life in prison is in ways a lot worse because men and women must go through everyday thinking about what they have done and being confined to basically a small box. Like you reported it does give them time to realize the mistakes they have made and sometimes even (like this man did) seek victim-offender reconciliation. I think this an important process for both parties (the offender and the victim) to try and find peace of mind. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 21:39:29 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69445070 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69441080 I am so happy and grateful that I received the opportunity to read this. I have never thought about life long prisoners at all, it has never crossed my mind that they are even actual human beings. I know this sounds harsh, but it is honest. I feel that the men and women in prison are kind of in a different world than I am. Prison is generally a safe and secure environment so I do not even think of prisoners escaping. Like I previously said they are in a whole different world than mine. When I saw this post though I figured that since I do not know about prison or prisoners I might as well read it and give it a shot. Yes, this man murdered someone and there is not a doubt in my mind that he is receiving the correct punishment for it, but I never really considered prisoners people and now I have to. It even seems to me that these men and women are more generous and caring than people in our everyday world. For example when the man was talking about how prisoners would give up his or her phone call without hesitation so that a man can wish his daughter a happy birthday that absolutely blew me away. Now a day people will not even give up their cell phones for a few seconds so that a stranger may use it to call someone and tell them his or her car is broken down. Imagine giving up your cell phone for someone else without hesitating without really caring, that is what these prisoners are more or less doing except they have even less contact with the outside world than you do without the cell phone. Most people today would fall apart without being in consistent contact with someone else. I really liked the way this man stated how yes there are some people in the prisons who really deserve to be there and they should be no where else, but how he also stated that a lot of the prisoners have big hearts and are good people. I would have never come to that realization on my own. Like I previously stated in the above paragraph I never really thought much of them more than likely I thought the men and women prisoners were scumbags and needed to be there and a lot of them needed the death penalty. This man really opened my eyes to the compassion that a lot of people share no matter how different you are or what your past is. People make mistakes, some bigger than others, but most people care about others and would do a lot more than is expected of them. Wed, 21 Apr 2010 21:26:42 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69441080 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68438988 I understand where you are coming from also. I am a very skinny girl with decent sized boobs. People talk about them all the time, throw stuff down my shirts, and sometimes even try and grab them. I get embarrassed because I feel like if they were just smaller then this would not be an issue. I think every girl has issues with their body I do not think anyone will ever think they are perfect. It is sad how girls get really upset when people make fun of them for not looking perfect, but how are you supposed to look perfect if there is no set “perfection.” Fri, 16 Apr 2010 22:42:55 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68438988 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68436690 I do not think Hollywood portrays women of all shapes and sizes, however, I do feel that Hollywood portrays many races. There are an endless number of movies where there are Middle Eastern women, Israeli women, etc. in them, some films are even about them. Yes, there are movies with bigger girls in them or uglier girls in them, but these movies point out that these girls have definite “flaws.” There a certain way every girl should look and like we talked about in class that is skinny big boobs (but not too big) a big butt and a cute face. This is sad that everyone feels that they must conform, but if you do not you get socially rejected. Fri, 16 Apr 2010 22:23:19 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68436690 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68114639 I agree with what Sam and some of the members of the class were saying yesterday about how women dress for other women. I do not think men are the same way, however, I do think they feel it necessary to comply with societies expectations. If men did not feel that they should comply with what society expects they would walk around without showering and in whatever clothing they want. This is especially apparent when men go out to parties or social outings. I have never seen a man wear sweatpants or even a sweatshirt while out at a party. If they were not trying to conform to societal expectations they would wear whatever they felt most comfortable in no matter what it was. Yes, the men could be trying to “pick-up” girls; however, women expect what society says they should like. This effects the men because then they dress up how they feel the girls think they should dress and that is what society says is correct. Considering that I am a girl and I know first hand who and what I dress for I feel that I can speak more for myself than the men in the class. I know that when I dress for school I have two outfits I wear: sweatpants and a t-shirt or jeans and a regular shirt. During the school day if I am wearing the sweatpants outfit I do not feel like I am dressing for anyone or for anything, however, if I wear jeans to class I feel like I am dressing up for something because jeans are more “appropriate” to dress in society says. When I go out to a party at night though it is a different story. I get dressed up, put on make up, do my hair, etc. Even though I am a heterosexual individual I still feel like I dress up for girls. For me it is a lot harder to get girls approval than guys’ approval. I am not being conceited, but guys tend to think I am cute no matter what I am wearing girls, however, are the hard ones to win over. Within about five seconds of a girl looking at you normally she makes an assumption about you. Depending on what girl you are dealing with some of them will end up making their opinion known to everyone. Therefore, I see it as more important to impress the other girls. Some of the times when I go out and even go to class I have my cleavage out because I feel that that is how we (girls) attract members of the opposite sex. At least that is how I feel the media portrays what a ‘sexy’ women is. Thu, 15 Apr 2010 00:32:28 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68114639 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-about-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment66327295 I think you bring up a very interesting and worthwhile point when you stated that you felt bad for this man because he is confused about who he is and what he should be categorized as in society. I did not think about this aspect when I was watching this blog, but now after reading yours I think this is a worthwhile topic discussing, maybe even something that needs to be addressed in class. Being multiracial may be hard enough because it is a struggle for you to figure out how you identify, however, being confused for something your not has to make you think a little. Wed, 7 Apr 2010 03:44:32 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-about-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment66327295 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-about-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment66326833 It is common ignorance for people to identify someone as one race when they really are another race. I personally think that you should just brush it off. If Sam does it I am sure others identify you as white too. I know you may think it is offensive, but I think it is a more common misconception then people realize. I also do not think that simple education of people regarding race will work though because I feel that others may still get confused. The only thing that people can do is maybe watch how they classify people and ask others what they identify as. Wed, 7 Apr 2010 03:40:05 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-about-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment66326833 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/i-really-want-to-know-also__trashed/#IDComment66323974 Woahhh! I am shocked that someone asked this question. The first thing that comes to my mind is how arrogant can you be?! When I take a step back though, I have to realize that other people have different set opinions than myself. I understand where you are coming from and what your opinion is (that nothing Sam has said this semester has changed your mind about anything), but I honestly do not understand how that it possible. Personally, I have taken away SO much from this class. In the beginning of the semester, honestly, I was kind of bored, but everything is picking up speed now and I feel like every lecture I pay closer and closer to what Sam is saying. I know that the class is not even over yet and I have learned more than I need to for an entire semester. The vision I have now regarding race issues has greatly matured and made me look at other sides of things. Everything from the videos to the guest speaker we had today intrigues me. Time seems to fly for me in class now because of all the interesting things we talk about and how much I am learning and actually applying to my life. My favorite lecture to date is the LGBT lecture. I am a straight female and I honestly do not know much about LGBT issues I thought the stories Sam told and the facts about the porn were interesting. Yes, I do identify myself as straight and I have never been with another girl, but I am simply not attracted to other girls in that way. After the lecture Sam gave I understand that people are attracted to who they are attracted to you cannot do anything to stop it. Also what I learned from that lecture was the “PDA” issue people seem to have with gay couples. I know I was always one of those people who would always look at girls or boys holding hands or kissing and get weirded out by it. Like Sam said though if you think about it it is nothing different than what straight couples do. In fact straight couples are actually much more into the PDA scene because they kiss more and are “all over” each other more in public. In conclusion this course, Soc 119, has made a difference to me and has changed my opinion about many things. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that someone has not learned something or their opinion has not changed on anything after this class, but I guess some people were raised different and have different values than me. This is an interesting question to ask students though especially if it was anonymous like a cell phone question. Wed, 7 Apr 2010 03:14:25 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/i-really-want-to-know-also__trashed/#IDComment66323974 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64733857 When Sam showed this video in class my mouth literally dropped. I felt like crying. This was one of the saddest videos I have watched and it raised so many questions for me. What made me the most shocked though was when the little girl said that the white doll was the good doll and the black one was the bad doll. I have no idea why she would say that nor would I ever dream of a child saying that. Considering that my major is elementary education I am going to try everything in my power to help the children not to discriminate or think that one race is better than another. Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:14:22 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64733857 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/flip-the-script-for-a-moment__trashed/#IDComment64733380 This is my absolute favorite post you have ever written Sam. This post brings up so many questions and answers that I was wondering. First is the twenty-eight day cycle. I honestly had not the slightest idea as to why you kept talking about it in class and on the blog and why people were commenting on it. In my last post I was completely on the side that said, “I just do not talk about this issue, it is not politically correct, it is not how I was raised, I am a private person, and I keep issues like my period to myself.” After reading this post I kind of see the “light” so to speak. Like you said years ago when there was segregation between whites and the other races no one spoke of how they thought it was wrong and if they did they were looked at as if there was something wrong with them for speaking up. As I said in my previous statement I now understand why you brought up menstruation. It kind of puts me back into the shoes of others years ago and think about how they would feel talking about that certain topic. It is sad to think that the way I felt when you started talking about periods was the way most people felt years ago. I can only think of one word that says how I was feeling and it is disgust. This really saddens me because this must have been how others were feeling when people spoke up regarding race relation issues. Obviously we have come a long way and talking about race issues is not as big of a problem as it was years ago (even a few years ago), but finally realizing after reading this post how it would feel to talk about race not too long ago is something I will never forget. I really think that you should use this analogy in all of the remaining classes you teach of Soc 119. You may have said in class why you were talking about it, however, I feel that considering it is something that everyone was sort of blindsided with most of us were not paying attention to why you said it instead we were paying attention to what you said. Seeing why you said it on the blog and how it correlates to race relations made it SO much easier for me to understand. It actually sparked even more of an interest in me to further think about race relations. Most likely the students will react like a large amount of the class did, but once everyone realizes what it means I have not one doubt in my mind that they will feel how I feel, appreciative. Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:09:46 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/flip-the-script-for-a-moment__trashed/#IDComment64733380 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/nothing-about-the-census-is-easy__trashed/#IDComment64733020 This video was very interesting. I, however, do think that people who get offended are thinking way too into the question of what is your race? Certain people refer to themselves as different things and others should realize that. If a black person refers to themselves as a Negro rather than an Africa American it does not matter. One’s personal preference should not make another person upset. My main question is, who cares if it says Negro if you do not identify with that term then why does it matter? Maybe I take it this way, however, because I do not find that term derogatory or offensive. Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:06:46 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/nothing-about-the-census-is-easy__trashed/#IDComment64733020 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64105364 I think this topic is just a weird and gross topic to talk about. I mean for some reason ever since I was little I have never been able to talk about periods or menstruation openly I feel like something is just stopping me. Maybe it is because I know how it is because I experience it and how disgusting I feel it is. Everyone I told about what we talked about today (periods) in class just gave me a weird look and asked why. I could not give them a straight answer because I am not truly sure why we did either. Of course I only told my girlfriends about it because I do not feel comfortable talking to men about this. This is what Sam was trying to get at when he was talking about menstruation, but I just do not understand why still. To go along with the “something is stopping me” thing I think this has to do a lot with political correctness. I really would never talk about my period to a large group of people because it just is not something I was raised to be open about. It is not politically correct for a woman to talk about how she is bleeding. I mean if you think about it, it is disgusting. I remember when the primary elections were going on there was a big issue regarding Hillary Clinton and if she could actually handle the job with her pre menstruation and menstruation cycles. I think this should be completely disregarded. Men do not understand the complexities of women and I do not even think anyone should assume how a woman’s cycle goes. One thing Sam did not address in this topic (that went wayyy too long in my opinion) was pre menstruation. This I feel is just as big of an issue as menstruation. Most men understand that women bleed, however, I feel that they have no idea what goes into pre menstruation. It is crucial that they understand some part of it though because we can get very temperamental during it. The raising hand in class thing I think went a little bit too far. I would never raise my hand in a class of 800 people if asked who is on their period right now. Personally, like I previously mentioned, I feel like this is a private issue that does not involve other people. I respect how Sam was so open with it and talked about it, but I do not understand how it directly correlates with what we were learning at all. It is an interesting thing for people to talk about if they are interested in it though. Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:14:50 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64105364 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/if-men-could-menstruate__trashed/#IDComment63951739 I think this girl’s question is a bizarre one. However, to answer the question I would say no. Men and woman both eat food, but food is not free. They both wear clothing and that is not free either. Even though tampons would be a necessity I do not think they would be free. Regarding the other statement about how if men were more educated it would not be a big deal I feel like it still would be a big deal. Men would never understand periods unless they were to experience one. Also, even if they were to be educated they still might feel uncomfortable talking about it considering they have not experienced it. Thu, 25 Mar 2010 03:12:41 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/if-men-could-menstruate__trashed/#IDComment63951739 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/is-this-just-a-few-bad-apples__trashed/#IDComment63774414 This is one of the craziest things I have ever seen or will remember seeing. I have never actually witnessed a protest before or anything. My eyes were wide open when I was reading this and looking at the pictures. Why would people have pictures of guns and slogans on them that basically say they are going to shoot someone? I feel like these people don’t really know how hurtful and mean these words and signs are. However, if they are actually planning on carrying out these threats it is very scary. Also, in the article it talked about how they portrayed Clinton and Bush as Hitler and now Obama as one I feel sort of like this is a trend. Wed, 24 Mar 2010 02:33:44 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/is-this-just-a-few-bad-apples__trashed/#IDComment63774414 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/is-anyone-else-getting-this-stuff__trashed/#IDComment62865032 I agree with what this woman is saying about how Laurie’s book made her open her eyes more to the opposite color. I absolutely loved that book. It helped me realize where others were coming from too and that I am not the only race that is afraid to talk about my feelings regarding race relations. I think this book would be an excellent book for every race to read just so everyone gets a little incite to understand when people say things it isn’t meant to be racist. I liked all of the individual stories in this book also I felt they added to the message being portrayed. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:53:40 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/is-anyone-else-getting-this-stuff__trashed/#IDComment62865032 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-happens-to-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment62861988 This is kind of a cool question, I never really thought of how a multiracial person fits into this equation. Like this man has mentioned the person who is mixed could respond to the questions identifying themselves with the race he feels more comfortable with, but I feel if that were I I would kind of be abandoning the other race which I am also half of. Personally, I am fully white therefore I do not have this issue, but I think I would be very confused if I were half of something and half of another. I think this maybe should even be clarified in class just so that multiracial people better understand where Sam is coming from. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:27:33 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-happens-to-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment62861988 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment62861201 I think this is a very interesting viewpoint and this is something I picked up on as well. The main reason for blacks making an uproar about offensive comments and whites not making an uproar is because I feel is white people feel guilty for something that their ancestors did years ago. This is the typical thing known as “white guilt.” I know that I have experienced it before also. Personally, when there is a black person around and they make a statement I do not agree with I will not stand up to them or tell them I disagree. I feel that they would think that I am trying to put them down or try to be superior so instead of correcting their statement I just will not say anything. I know that things like this happen all of the time because for example when I was reading Laurie’s book Sam was known as a “racist” for asking a simple question. In class we discussed that most blacks, in fact, came here by themselves and not as slaves. In actuality we have just as much right to get upset with the rude comments that they are making and put up and uproar just like they did. I think we do not do this though because again of the white guilt and political correctness. What makes a comment “rude” anyway? A comment can be ignorant in one’s own opinion, but how is it rude? If it is a personal opinion and how they feel then they have every right to say it. Who are we to judge if it is rude or not? The person who wrote it most likely did not think it was rude and was asked to express their opinion so they did. The answer was completely anonymous so they felt that it was okay to state their opinion. The person was not trying to attack anyone they were just like I said earlier, simply stating their own opinion. I like this texting thing for class. It is nice how it is anonymous so that people cannot evaluate you based on your opinion and I like seeing how everyone thinks in response to certain questions. Some responses may offend others, but the people reading these have to realize that it is just one person’s opinion not every white or black person thinks that way. A person of the same race may even find another comment (made by a race “member”) just as offensive as another race would. I think that there is a big misunderstanding when it comes to these things. People often just want to jump on their feet, be defensive, and make a scene due to what a person has written instead of thinking about these things rationally. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:20:46 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment62861201 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/whats-with-the-theme-parties__trashed/#IDComment59458492 I agree with the statement you made saying being a white female whenever I have been invited to a themed party the issue of race has never crossed my mind. Whenever I go to a themed party I never think of is this going to be offensive or not all I think about is oh this is going to be really fun, what am I going to wear!? I do not think they are meant to be mean or rude or anything I think they are meant to have fun, drink, and dress up. I do understand this girls point of view, but I do not necessarily agree with it. Wed, 3 Mar 2010 01:57:33 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/whats-with-the-theme-parties__trashed/#IDComment59458492 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/a-long-long-way-indeed__trashed/#IDComment59457566 I think this brings up an interesting point that I have never thought about before. Today in society black women and men are all over the media (and not in a bad way) some white people even pretend or “think” that they are black. I think slave owners would see this and be completely taken back by it considering we as in the United States once had slaves as part of our society and now they are all over our television and our president is even half black. We have come a long way since then and I hope people recognize this and maybe follow by example. Wed, 3 Mar 2010 01:51:04 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/a-long-long-way-indeed__trashed/#IDComment59457566