After I finished reading “If prison has taken anything away from me” I felt very empty. It was such a somber tale of longing and yearning and knowing that you will never, ever get what you are longing for. It is just sad to me knowing that this man is suffering in such a way. I know that he is clearly a “lifer” and that he is in prison for a specific reason but any story about heartbreak just makes my heart break as well.
When reading these stories about the men who have life sentences in prison I am surprised about how much I feel for them and how I can really sympathize with them. It really brings to light just how much we take the important things in life for granted. Love. Love is such a simple thing, whether is be from a friend, a parent, or a lover, it is just a feeling between people, yet these men in prison cannot experience it. While love is simple, it is one of the greatest things we can go through and to have that opportunity stripped from you is just so horribly sad.
This post also brings to light a lot of other emotions that men in prison must feel and those feelings are scary. This man is just like “I’ve been here for so long” and he knows that he will keep feeling like that until the end of his life. The days must blend to together because of no significant events to tell each day apart. He must be going crazy knowing that he has nothing to keep him busy but his own thoughts. He speaks of only seeing repeats of his triumphs and more importantly his failures. Those thoughts alone can drive someone crazy, let alone that fact that on top of it he has all of these feelings of longing and need.
This was just sad. Since this is my last post I do want to say that I really enjoyed writing these blogs, especially the ones about the “lifers” because it gave students a chance to really see into the lives and minds of people we normally could never have contact with. This has been an extremely rewarding experience.

I am not surprised at all by the fact that business is what determines our policies on illegal immigration. I think that the biggest problem that most people have regarding immigration is that they think that all of the illegal immigrants are taking our jobs. They think that Americans are being left with no jobs. These feelings definitely peaked during the Recession when people were desperately searching for jobs anywhere they could find them. While I do understand that people are struggling for work, I do think that before the Recession most Americans thought they were “too good” for the jobs that illegal immigrants currently hold. Now that illegal immigrants have so many jobs in the United States of course there are going to be stricter policies regarding coming to this country.
I do not exactly know where I stand regarding illegal immigrants. I always hate to see anyone getting hurt or anyone not getting a chance in life, but at the same time I do understand why some people would not want illegal immigrants in our country. It is hard to compete with people who are willing to work for lower wages and who are going to work as hard as they possibly can. These illegal immigrants are also not putting the money they earn back into America to help stimulate the economy. They are instead sending the money they earn back to their families in order to help support them. So I do see why people are so against the illegal immigrants because in the end we do have to look after ourselves and our families also.
I think that in general Americans have just become so lazy and selfish that they are unwilling to take jobs that they consider “unworthy.” I think it is important that Americans stop thinking they are so high and mighty when in reality they are struggling to find work. All of these jobs that people would not touch with a nine foot pole are suddenly looking like dream jobs.
There is also the issue of large corporations having a say in the government. No matter how much people try to deny it, the fact is that big business has so much control over what goes on in the government that it is scary. We live in a society where we think that we are free but in reality we are being controlled by the rich and the rich will do anything to stay rich and keep the have-nots from getting to the upper class. The have-nots are being mind warped into thinking that we choose, but we don’t.
It is hard to have a full grasp on what to think about illegal immigration because honestly I do not have any personal experience to go off of. I do know that if I wanted to better my family I would do almost anything to do it.

I thought today’s lecture was extremely interesting and engaging. It reminded me more of Sam’s earlier lectures when he would do more participation activities such as the one where the two girls had to organize the students into categories based on what race they thought they were. It was fun to see a new twist on a game everyone played as a child (or sometimes even now). I have seen this experiment done before but the story had to do with a robbery. In that game the races of the robbers were never mentioned yet as each person kept telling the story they would say the robbers were black. It is interesting to see how stories can really change as they go through the channels.
The lecture in class, though, brought up something different besides just race. It really showed how people tend to shorten stories over time and maybe even points out how little we pay attention to detail. It kind of opens your eyes to think about how just stories we hear in our day to day lives change significantly. We may never really know the full story if we do not hear it from the original source. As a girl I have dealt with plenty of gossip and just girls being typical catty girls and this exercise made me wonder about how maybe some fights could have been avoided if we just paid attention to detail or maybe just listened to the full story. Changing details without even noticing it is so easy to do.
With adding different races into the story, it changed the game as well. You could tell that sometimes a white student telling the story to a black student was a little bit uncomfortable when talking about the fight between the black and white students. Sometimes the white students would even leave out the word “black” but the black students never did. This can go back to lectures in the past when Sam spoke about how we never really know what to call each other. The guest speaker did use the word African American, but it was quickly switched to the word “black” when the story got passed down the line. This may not say much about racial differences but it does show how we like to shorten things and make telling stories easier.
Besides this question, I really did enjoy today’s lecture and I am happy that Sam invites people to speak because sometimes things need to be shaken up a bit. I liked the way the lecturer used the drawing experiment to show that in order to except other people we need to learn to let go. It is so true but sometimes it is hard to do.

I think that the hardest part about stories such as this man who was fired from his job because he is a transgender is that sometimes I really do think that we have come so far in society only then to see a story such as this. I do understand that we have come a long way, I just do not get why things like this have to be a big deal anymore. Especially in a state such as New Jersey, which I always believed to be an extremely progressive state, it is sad to see this.
I think that the man’s decision to speak out against this woman was a smart move. Issues surrounds gays, lesbians, and transsexuals are very prominent at the moment and I think that as much attention that can be brought to the unfairness is a good thing. This man needs to supports himself and his child, yet he is having difficulty keeping his low-paying part-time job. This makes me wonder what it is like for people who are transgender to find higher paying jobs or careers. It is scary how much hate and discrimination is out there.
The man’s boss also overstepped her boundaries when she demanded to know if he had any surgeries and what they were. She was out of line and should see some sort of consequence of those actions. What would have happened if he was born a man but he was a homosexual, would he have gotten the same treatment? The private lives of individuals should remain exactly that, private. If he was doing his job correctly than it should not matter what his legal gender used to be. Obviously these points are always made yet people continue to discriminate against people who are different than them. Maybe we will continue to move forward and eventually get to a time where it will not be as difficult for people who may not live what some people consider a “normal life.” But then again, once an issue gets resolved, there is always something else to move on to. I hope this man finds the justice he is looking for and no longer has to suffer because of other people’s hate.

This post was really powerful to me. It is sort of funny because there are always jokes about what men do for intimacy once they are in jail but I really wonder if people really stop to think about what happens to these men as they begin to change in prison and how their views on relationships change. When this man had a relationship he thought it had to be only about sex and money because that is what he saw around him in the media. Now that he does not have it he realizes that he should have just embraced the relationship and been honest and sincere and loving.
I think that everything C. mentioned in his post is really exactly what most women are looking for in a man or just a relationship in general. We do not want the “badass” or someone who is going to ignore us. Being with someone is one of the most natural things we can do, yet we shy away from it or we play games with each other. Why do we do these things? Why not just be honest and show your feelings.
It is bittersweet that it took this man a life sentence in prison to really see what a relationship should be. Yes he is in prison, but at least now he sees how he should have treated the women in his life, whether it be a lover or a family member. I think he also realizes that there are not just the things women want, but what he wants also. He just wants someone to love and to feel affection from. It is just nice to know that you have someone at home that you can go back and just lay and talk with.
Stories like this always make me sad. I do not know what C. is in prison for and I do not know how much he has changed, but hearing about his yearn for another or his regret over his past experiences with women really saddens me. I never want to see a person feeling lonely or regretful of relationships because if we don’t have good relationships in our life then we really don’t have anything.

I agree with Ernso when he says that photos and videos of poor children should not be used to help gain foreign aid. We try so hard to protect children today and to make sure that they are not being taken advantage of. I understand that it is a tactic used to encourage people to donate money because children are the one thing that everyone in the world can sympathize with. These kids, in a way, are being exploited in front of the rest of the world. They are being used to so the rest of the world feels for them and donates their money. How is it fair, though, that the rest of the world looks at them from afar and sees their struggles and pains? I know that I would not want others seeing my personal struggles and then feeling pity on me.
I get that is it difficult to get people to really see the struggles families in Haiti go through on a day-to-day basis, but it is never OK to use our children to do so. We see images of them crying and hurting and vulnerable. I know that many families in America would never want their children on a television screen for the world to see, let alone showing them in their most vulnerable state. How can people expect that respect of their own children when people think nothing of shooting videos of Haitian children barely being able to get by every day.

This situation kind of reminds me of Kevin Carter and his picture of the emancipated girl in South Africa. Kevin Carter was a photojournalist infamous for shooting pictures of an emancipated toddler as a vulture stood in the distance stalking her and waiting for her to die. Kevin Carter received much backlash for watching the girl for twenty minutes instead of helping her. The photograph ended up winning Carter a Pulitzer Prize for Feature Photography, however, many people feel as if the act of taking the photograph was disgusting and he might as well have been a vulture himself. While this may not be the same situation, he was still taking pictures in order to raise awareness in South Africa during the Apartheid period. This young girl is just like all the other children being featured on television.
I think that it also gives a distorted view of Haiti. Yes, they are struggling, but as Ernso said, they really just need jobs. Donating money is wonderful, but if we could give a little bit of time to helping a business flourish, it would mean so much more than donating ten dollars. Like they say, “give a man a fish and he won’t be hungry for a day, teach a man to fish and he won’t be hungry for the rest of his life.”

This video was very fascinating to me. It is easy to look at this video really quickly and think that women are finally surpassing men in society, but underneath it is really no freer for the woman than if a man were to have multiple wives.
To us it may seem sort of crazy because we see so much polygamy on televisions, whether it be on cable or a reality show, and never once do we ever see a woman with more than one husband, it is always the other way around.
I think that a lot of women, especially feminists, might find this relieving or a “breath of fresh air.” Even in such an advanced society such as ours, women still take a backseat to many men. Women are still assumed to stay home and take care of the children or to not work and just clean the house all day. This is not the case for every household, but it is still very common. In this society though, the roles are reversed. I was not as shocked by this situation as I thought I would be. I do not personally even care for polygamy at all either but for some reason I enjoyed this segment. Maybe inside I am slightly rooting for any woman who is able to overcome any gender boundaries. I know this particular situation is not about women being on top, it is just their culture, but there is sort of a sense of a win for women when we see husbands staying home and cleaning, cooking, and taking care of the children.
Despite all these pangs of “women finally winning” in my heart, I do realize that there is still a sense of entrapment for the women and even the men as well. These women do not take multiple husbands because they enjoy it; it is because of the population restrictions in their society.
It is hard for me to judge whether this is right or wrong and really I have no place to judge these people. At the end of the video the women explains how it is all so family oriented and how peaceful they are, who could really argue with that?

The “Needy Penis” lecture was one of my favorite lectures of the semester. Most of our lectures are extremely serious and cover a lot of sensitive topics. Because our lectures revolve mostly around racial issues, not every single person can really relate to some of the things we cover in class. I do not want this to be taken wrong, because I do thoroughly love Soc 119, but as a white female I do sometimes need to take myself out of my own head and body to understand some of the issues going on with different races. The “needy” penis, however, is a lecture that almost everyone in the room can understand because most people are either sexually active or they plan on being sexually active at some point in their lives. I personally was not uncomfortable with the lecture at all. I actually already heard to lecture in my Soc 001 class earlier in the semester, and I could not wait to hear it again.
I think a lot of people are so uncomfortable with the topics covered in the “Needy Penis” because the subject of sex is so taboo in American society. All of our childhood lives we are shunned from sex and learning about sex. We hear all the dangers of it, but never really the benefits. The fact is that sex is a huge part of our lives and one of the most natural things we can do, but it always causes people to lower their voices or look around to make sure no one else is listening in. It is because we do not talk about it enough that many people are uncomfortable talking about it. It is also the reason that many women feel so unsatisfied with their sex lives. What may actually be worse is that men really have no idea that their partner is unsatisfied. I do not blame the men in any way, it is just that in such a male driven world there really is not much material out there for men to become familiar about the female sex drive with.
Since humor was added into the lecture, it was much easier to feel comfortable. Sam and Laurie were so relaxed talking about their own sex lives that I immediately felt comfortable. They really laid it out there and told the class just how things are. If more people were more open and honest about sex it would help other people realize and be open enough to talk to their own partners about their wants and need. This was an important lecture to me. Some people may find it silly, but sex really is important in our lives and in our relationships with others. It’s terrible to think that something so important is so taboo to talk about openly.

It must be difficult to be assumed as a murderer when you are did not in fact murder anyone. While I do not think any of this man’s actions are acceptable, I do understand his frustration with people thinking he murdered another man. It is one thing to be in the presence of a murder, but to take that action into your own hand is a completely different story. I am happy that he spoke up about his feelings on the subject. He is clearly doing very well in prison and it is helping him to recover from his past actions. When hearing about his life now I can sympathize with his feelings on wanting people to know the truth about how he got “LIFE.”
This situation may go to show a few people that maybe everything does happen for a reason. This is man has been able to morph himself from an abused drug addict to a “free” man who has finally discovered his true talents. Not every person’s definition of freedom is the same, for some it means own your own home and not being under strict government ruling, while for this man freedom means being free to create. His story is inspirational because despite his bad decisions in the past, he has been able to remain positive and really turn and negatives in his life into something bright and positive.
I found it refreshing to hear that after contemplating suicide for a while he was able to push past the pain and become this man who can be proud of how he has turned his life around even though he was sentenced to “LIFE.” I am happy to hear about his reconciliation with his stepfather. Many people would not have been able to do what this man was, which was to be brave enough to forgive and move on to a better relationship.
I hope he continues to create, whether is be painting, music, or even ideas for the world. With creation comes hope for the future. Hearing this story it also gives me hope for all the other lifers out there; hope that they too will find peace.

I would love to date a black guy! Not only would I date a black guy but I would have no qualms about marrying, having a family, and growing old with a black guy. In fact, the idea of having mixed raced children is extremely appealing to me. I always dreamed of adopting children of different races as well as having my own children. I would love to raise a family where there are no prejudices and everyone is accepting of everyone whether they are black, white, gay or straight. My ideas of family, though, are very different than most other people’s ideas of family.
I think that the main challenge with dating a black guy, or any person of a different color than I am for that matter would be the scrutiny we would get from other people. This factor would not necessarily stop me from dating a person from another race but it would be a challenge I would seriously need to think about before I made a serious commitment. Luckily I come from a very accepting family. My mother has always been extremely comfortable with people of different races and cultures and she is really open to a lot of different ideas. My father, on the other hand, was not raised the same way. With a lot of influence from my mother, though, he has changed a lot of his ideas about people of different origins than him. To this day he might crack a joke about race but my mom is quick to correct him. Me dating a black guy might deter him at first, but his main priority is the happiness of his daughters.
I am aware that not many people, even in today’s progressive society, do not stand behind bi-racial couples. Many people might say “oh the color of your skin does not matter” or something along those lines, but to be realistic most people do see the color of people’s skin. This is not necessarily a negative thing; it is just a fact in general. It is hard to look at another person and not see the color of their skin first. To me, though, that is what is so great about different races. I love people with different skin colors than I. I would feel out of place if I was not surrounded by people of all different skin tones. Obviously we have come a long way when it comes to race and acceptance, but people still give dirty looks to those mixed race couples. Even in magazines and television commercials we rarely ever see mixed race couples. Sure there are white couples and black couples, but never are they mixed around. It’s sad that this is still and issue but I do believe things will continue to improve in the future.