gdp's Comments

Wonkette : An Open Letter To People Who Water Their Lawns During A Drought

Tue, 15 Jul 2014 18:48:56 +0000

I'm pro-conservation, and not advocating waste, but residential customers only use about 10% of the water in California. The rest is commercial (10%) and agricultural (80%). So, if residences went on a no-water diet and cut their use by 100%, that would still leave 90% of water use at current levels, which would do diddly for conservation during this drought. To top it all off, depending on the location, many agricultural customers pay by their land area, not by the gallon, so they have no incentive to conserve at all and grow water wasting crops (e.g. rice in the dessert, 1.1 gallons to grow one almond ) and livestock (1,800 gallons for one pound of beef). Sorry if this comment has made me a naughty wonketeer. I can change! Please show me the error of my ways by spanking me with your wonky stick of righteousness!

Wonkette : Here Is Your New Favorite Gun Safety PSA Starring Children Playing With Dildos

Fri, 27 Jun 2014 21:33:24 +0000

PSA=Pubic Service Announcement?

Wonkette : A Straight Guy Fell In Love With A Lesbian In Today's Happy Links!

Thu, 19 Jun 2014 21:31:19 +0000

Hiyo!

Wonkette : However Will California GOP Choose Between Goldman Sachs Lickspittle And Tea Party Xenophobe?

Wed, 7 May 2014 18:34:32 +0000

You guys should really use an NSFW tag if you're going to stick photos of anthropomorphic dildos in your posts.

Wonkette : I Just Don’t Get Why Everyone Is Mad At The Google Bus

Wed, 2 Apr 2014 20:01:06 +0000

That ain't the way I heard it! <rimshot>

Wonkette : Happy Links For Nice Time People (And Also For You)

Tue, 4 Mar 2014 20:35:55 +0000

The sideboob is a lie!

Wonkette : It's Not A Rerun, It's A Tradition: Fine Here Is Your Bloody Kurt Vonnegut

Mon, 11 Nov 2013 15:00:51 +0000

In some ways, loving Vonnegut is such an adolescent thing to do, and sometimes it feels like Vonnegut is a writer that you ought to have grown out of. When I was a young lad I was at a supermarket late one night. An older fellow approached me holding a can of Planters peanuts. He asked me if I knew the difference between "beer nuts" and "deer nuts." I told him that I did not know, to which he replied: "Beer nuts are one-fifty but deer nuts are under a buck." I laughed nervously and slowly backed away from him. Only later, once I was back home safe and sound, did it occur to me that the man bore an uncanny resemblance to Kurt Vonnegut. You can be sure that I'm not making this story up because it is lame ...

Wonkette : Unless You Like Traffic Stops With Cartman-Style Anal Probes, Do Not Roll Through Stop Signs In New

Wed, 6 Nov 2013 20:10:26 +0000

Let's try to be fair here. Apparently the anal probes were performed because a police dog sniffed at the car seat where the guy had recently been sitting. I think we can all agree that drugs are the only reason that a dog would sniff something that smells like ass ...

Wonkette : Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Betraying Ur Native Soil!

Wed, 25 Sep 2013 04:09:05 +0000

MA water, huh? Ever been in Hopkinton? The water there is brown. First time I used a toilet there I flushed it three or four times before I finally gave up. http://www.hopkintonma.gov/home/government/depart...

Wonkette : Don't Turn Off The Lights: The Most Frightening Moment Of The Obama-Romney Rumble

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 18:57:39 +0000

Rumor has it that Bale prepared for the Bateman role by studying up on interviews by Tom Cruise.

Wonkette : Ghost Mr. Rogers Will Help Save PBS From That Mean Old Mitt Romney

Fri, 5 Oct 2012 14:25:45 +0000

Wait a minute. That's the way Mister Rogers always talked? It wasn't just a schtick for his show? Was he, um, you know, one of those developmentally challenged people we can't talk about? Or one of those gheys that we're supposed to always talk about?

Wonkette : Watch Florida's AG Also Learn of the Wrong Health Care Ruling

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 21:49:37 +0000

Lucky for Bondi that Obamacare was upheld. She should probably see a doctor regarding her strange "blonde hair - brown eyebrows" condition.

Wonkette : New York Assemblyman Wants You To Sign Your Mean Internet Posts About New York Assemblymen

Thu, 24 May 2012 13:52:48 +0000

Luckily I already post under my real name. And, yes, it's Italian.

Wonkette : Mean Liberal MSNBC Lady Won't Let Whiner Whine About Metasomethings

Fri, 11 May 2012 20:36:17 +0000

Angry black woman slapping around obsequious white wuss is making me very horny.

Wonkette : 'P-E-N-I-S Goes Into The Anus To Rupture Intestines' Says Nebraska Lady, Nobody Sure Why

Fri, 11 May 2012 17:32:39 +0000

I didn't realize that Gertrude Stein was still alive.

Wonkette : Good-Time Monday Fun-Day Stories From Arizona's 'Stand Your Ground' Law, 'Make My Day'

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:12:06 +0000

This Shoot Loudmouths on Sight rule should do wonders for getting the teabagger population down.

Wonkette : Let's All Point and Laugh at Mitt Romney Boring Students to Sleep

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 23:33:13 +0000

Oooh! I sense caption contest material! I'm gonna go with "So I told Ann, 'Assfucking is too, OK in the Mormon bible!' And then she whipped out a strap-on dildo and I thought to myself, 'Oh boy, I wish I hadn't used up all the Astroglide on my hair!'"

Wonkette : Latest Obama Web Ad: Bill Clinton Rambles For 90 Seconds

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 19:16:57 +0000

"suppose [Navy SEALs] had been captured or killed. The downside would have been horrible for [Obama]" Umm, yeah, that would have really sucked for Barry . . . I thank FSM that those words did not fall from our dear leader's mouth (but never fear, the Repubes will waste no time taking that phrase out of context, and ascribing to Obambi, Clinton's poor choice of words in a fucking campaign ad). Does anyone with Obama's Campaign who actually wants him to win review the videos before posting them? Also, too, WTF Slick Willie? You slipping in your old age or is this some sort of passive-aggressive frenemy bullshit?

Wonkette : GOP’s Hot New Strategy: Romney Is Boring And Sour And Full Of Malaise! (VIDEO!)

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 14:30:37 +0000

As any good GOPer could tell you, you lose the general election with the wooden, privileged, magic underwear wearing tool you have, not with the moronic, xenophobic, frothing, hate-filled bigot you wish you had.

Wonkette : Newt Gingrich Makes World’s Actual Most Pathetic Campaign Ad

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 14:33:56 +0000

Still a slight improvement over his "Two-Newts-One-Cup" video. Oh, wait. Come to think of it, that might have been a santorum ad.