gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Utah Puts Science Standards On Hold, Demands More Local Control Of Reality

Mon, 9 Feb 2015 21:11:13 +0000

Don't want to get these kids TOO smart now or as soon as they're old enough they'll get the fuck out of Utah.

Wonkette : Fox's John Stossel Will Turn Over All Disaster Relief To Our Benevolent Walmart Overlords

Mon, 9 Feb 2015 18:28:19 +0000

Too bad we can't put the wrestler that beat the shit out of Stossel on retainer and have him do it on a daily basis.

Wonkette : Responsible Gun Owners Improve Safety Record, Only Maim Selves

Mon, 2 Feb 2015 22:00:39 +0000

Asked how the three-year-old hit both parents with one shot, police explained that the bullet went "up and to the left, up and to the left..."

Wonkette : America Embarks On Dumbest Science Debate Ever

Mon, 2 Feb 2015 19:05:37 +0000

I'm sort of torn between my absolute belief that this country desperately needs a plague and the fact that I wouldn't be able to decide who gets it.

Wonkette : The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Want To Read About 'The Amazing Randi,' The Greatest Woo-Fighter

Sun, 1 Feb 2015 22:12:07 +0000

Steaming a vagina doesn't clean it at all, it just takes the wrinkles out.

Wonkette : Louisiana Congressman Has Reefer Sadness

Tue, 27 Jan 2015 20:49:04 +0000

I always wanted to try marijuana but I'm scared of needles.

Wonkette : Wonkette Chats With Tennessee Couple Gay-Marrying Their Way To The Supreme Court!

Mon, 19 Jan 2015 19:40:21 +0000

I quit making it official after two.

Wonkette : Wonkette Chats With Tennessee Couple Gay-Marrying Their Way To The Supreme Court!

Sun, 18 Jan 2015 21:29:31 +0000

I wish either of my two marriages had been half as successful as these guys'.

Wonkette : Pat Robertson: Beat Your Kids Until They Stop Smoking Dope And Start Loving Jesus

Mon, 5 Jan 2015 21:30:14 +0000

You know Pat got beat as a kid, it's what made the top of his head swell up like that.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: We Showed Sarah Palin's Bra, We Guess?

Sun, 4 Jan 2015 22:38:20 +0000

Her base doesn't include people who've even heard of Strunk & White.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: We Showed Sarah Palin's Bra, We Guess?

Sun, 4 Jan 2015 22:35:49 +0000

Except in this case the shit's moving in instead of out.

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: We Showed Sarah Palin's Bra, We Guess?

Sun, 4 Jan 2015 21:59:55 +0000

"...they exempt themselves from a lot of things they would hoist on the rest of us." Who writes this shit for her, Norm Crosby? She cries about being misunderstood and misquoted but she's just "foisted" by her own petard.

Wonkette : Carly Fiorina Hiring Staff For Pretend Presidential Campaign Cosplay

Fri, 19 Dec 2014 23:28:36 +0000

The difference between Carly Fiorina and the Demon Sheep is that if I was drunk and horny enough I might actually fuck a Demon Sheep.

Wonkette : CIA Chief: Torture Is Bad, We Shouldn't Do It, Now Please Shut Up About It

Thu, 11 Dec 2014 22:42:53 +0000

"...this agency did a lot of things right during this difficult time to keep this country strong and secured." Freudian slip or just telling the truth because he didn't think first? Big difference between "secure" and "secured", which means "locked down tight".

Wonkette : Fox 'Psychiatrist' Keith Ablow: Let's Charge Michael Brown's Family With His Murder!

Wed, 3 Dec 2014 22:01:52 +0000

"If Ablow's brain is shit, you must acquit..."

Wonkette : Boise Burglary Suspect Is One Sad Panda

Wed, 3 Dec 2014 02:30:21 +0000

Seuss did that one too.

Wonkette : Boise Burglary Suspect Is One Sad Panda

Tue, 2 Dec 2014 23:42:47 +0000

That was in a very special set of Seuss books.

Wonkette : Boise Burglary Suspect Is One Sad Panda

Tue, 2 Dec 2014 23:27:06 +0000

Ha! The Day the Grinch Stole Christmas Presents.

Wonkette : Boise Burglary Suspect Is One Sad Panda

Tue, 2 Dec 2014 22:31:55 +0000

She never forgave her parents for their decision to let her name be chosen by Dr. Seuss.

Wonkette : St. Louis Rams Hurt Cops' Feelings By Reminding Them Ferguson Happened

Mon, 1 Dec 2014 22:20:27 +0000

So I guess it's no surprise that this dipshit looks like a close relative of Lloyd Christmas.