http://www.askamanager.org/2016/03/are-patterned-...

Oh thank goodness someone else feels this way. The commenters over there are always so stuff and it makes me worry I'm a slob, etc. Did you see the one about tights that are only appropriate for the bedroom?

Thanks! I try really hard and worry way too much, so it's pretty cool to make some progress.

Mine is also very cool. I have tried to write it down, because it would make a great queer fantasy series, but that's always kind of killed the magic somehow.

I also cannot believe how many other people have such similar experiences!

I'm sorry that it's causing problems for you right now (although it also sounds like it might be a way of coping with tough circumstances - directionality is kind of hard to establish?). I couple years ago I went through a prolonged period of un/underemployment, and I think there was a noticeable uptick in my daydreaming for me, too. Talking about it with your therapist sounds like a good idea, for sure.

But no, not hideously embarassing! This conversation has been really productive for me. And even though my first instinct was to hide this from my wife, I went home yesterday and talked to her about it and she is only slightly alarmed, mostly just bewildered, I think. (At least she understands what's been happening the couple of times she's caught me running for no reason).

Update for the folks who responded to my request for advice for how to talk to my resistant-to-retirement mom whose work is causing her health problems but she didn't want to talk about it or her finances, a few weeks back. (I may not be here on Friday).

I went home for the weekend a couple weeks ago, and we had a really positive chat about her future-planning! (It may have helped that she had (minor) surgery so future-planning was on her mind.) I found it helped to focus on the ways her workplace was unfair and unhealthy, as opposed to talking about my mom directly. We had a really positive brainstorm session about future options, and I found out one of the main reasons she's still working full-time is a goal she'd set herself for how much money she would leave to me and my sisters in her will. I had no idea that's why she was opposed to retirement, and was able to reassure her that we'd all prefer she focus on her own health and happiness than on leaving an arbitrary inheritance.

Now, she's meeting with her financial advisor to discuss her options, and has spoken up at work about the ways its harming her health. If they don't make changes, I think she's prepared to give notice and look for another part-time job, or retire completely.

She's also considering moving provinces (from Winnipeg to Toronto), to be closer to me and my sister. I think this is a great idea for a bunch of reasons, though the biggest appeal for her of course is potential grandkids in the next few years. (This part of the conversation also helped to keep things positive, haha) She was texting me last night about how York and Ryerson waive tuition fees for students over 60.

Anyway, thanks for the support, Toasties. The floodgates seem to be open now, and she's being a lot more open about her plans and ideas and seems really excited and actually thanked me for my "wise advice" re: how to talk to her employer.

Have you listened to this episode of The Current? http://www.cbc.ca/radio/thecurrent/the-current-fo...

That's beautiful, actually.

For me, there's a strong fourth wall between my characters and myself* so I can't actually speak to/with them. But I often wish I could!

*I mean, there are a few very obvious self-insert characters from my various ages, but I don't interact with them, they just interact with other characters.

Additionally! (sorry I am so enthused but this is kind of blowing my mind)

I have a disability that affects my coordination, so that correlation in the Atlantic article is really interesting. And also, the same disability did lead me to have a somewhat difficult and isolated childhood, particularly around the time when the daydreaming became really intense (age 12ish). I basically paced around in circles imagining stories (originally based on Sailor Moon) every recess. I am basically a textbook case, aside from wanting it to stop.

SOMEONE ELSE DOES THE RUNNING THING. Also, I don't hit myself or anything but I have occasionally....ugh this is embarassing...made myself cry when something sad happens???

Like, I also have no intention of stopping, because I think the *overall* effect on my life is more positive than negative. And, as other folks in this thread have said, "maladaptive" might be the key word.

But there definitely have been times where I tune out of a conversation because of a daydream, or when it keeps me up at night, or when I get frustrated that the emotional intensity of my real life can't live up to the fantasy narrative's. And I bet my wife would say that she has noticed some of this. So, food for thought for sure.