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9 years ago @ Wonkette - Montana Would Like To ... · 2 replies · +6 points

Come to Portland, where World Naked Bike Ride is a celebrated annual event. Strangely, even though it is held in the summer, it is usually unseasonably rainy and cold. Almost as if God was trying to tell us something...

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Study Shows HPV Vaccin... · 1 reply · +14 points

I suppose convincing these folks to vaccinate their sons so they won't be the one to infect their future partners with a cancer-causing virus is way too much to hope for.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Hero Science Man Matt ... · 0 replies · +28 points

There's so much derp in his position I find it hard to focus on just one part, but I'll try. Yes, it is true that women are more attracted to "feminine" men when they're on the pill, but that only because the pill works by mimicking pregnancy. Once pregnant, women are more attracted to men who exhibit outward characteristics of having less testosterone, as those men are more likely to stick around and help them raise the kid and protect them from cave bears. If ovulating, women are more attracted to the "John Wayne" types who will be sure to get them pregnant with their abundant supply of testosterone. However, at no point in a woman's cycle is she in any way sexually attracted to utter stupidity of this magnitude.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Paul Ryan So Mad At Ob... · 1 reply · +16 points

Hey Paul Ryan remember last week when Mitt Romney made noises about running for president again and pretended to care about income stagnation and inequality and everyone laughed at him because COME ON, and then he said he wasn't running after all? You should try that.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Hero Alabama Chief Jus... · 1 reply · +6 points

I hope someone points out to him that our economy and societal conditions have improved dramatically as marriage equality sweeps the country. If Satan's behind this, he has a funny way of punishing us.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Hero Marine Dad Will U... · 0 replies · +14 points

This poor girl. Junior in high school, so she's 16 or 17? When I was that age, my parents' very existence was humiliating enough. Getting pulled out of world history because your father is a Class A Idiot? I just can't even.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Republicans Poll Ladie... · 0 replies · +2 points

That some women suddenly turn Republican once they get married is proof the "fairer sex" can be selfish assholes too. Equality!

9 years ago @ Wonkette - St. Louis Police Not A... · 2 replies · +4 points

Reading the original post, the bullet was lodged in her forehead, lodged in (but not fully penetrating) her skull. And the doctors took a day to figure out if it was safe to remove. I admit I don't know a whole lot about bullets, but that suggests to be it might have been a rubber bullet? Seems like a real bullet to the forehead would have killed her?

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 0 replies · +1 points

awww, warm fuzzies!

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Deleted Comments Of Th... · 4 replies · +16 points

It has been a long time since anyone called me "ass munch." I'm a little jealous.