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**Slinks away, crestfallen**
Chrysanthemum: feed to cat, reclaim heart.
Creepy? What mean'st thou creepy?
Fast forward 16 years: Adult Me feels that he misses #SavoringTheSavior and decides to order nostalgic unconsecrated communion wafers to the apartment...
Things I learned from this experience:
1. The nutrition facts for communion wafers are problematic. They're basically copy-pasted from a bottle of water. Yes-- the manufacturers of communion wafers claim that they are completely devoid of nutritional content.
2. There are no post-transubstantiation nutrition facts posted on the box... Is nourishment of the soul outside of the purview of the FDA?
3. They do not, in fact, taste better with milk. They make terrible cereal.
4. They look very good in a little candy dish on my coffee table.
5. "No, it's not even remotely Jesus, you guys, it hasn't been consecrated!", though theologically sound, is not an argument that will remove the horror from the eyes of your roommates as they watch you playing around with communion wafers for a lark.