en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2438161 Comments by bog5045 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/31/if-we-lived-in-a-female-centered-world-what-words-would-be-used-to-describe-sex-119-blog/#IDComment139245172 Here’s a little story: After I lost my virginity, my mother found out forced me to talk about it. I was also punished for it, as she forbid me from seeing the boy who deflowered me unsupervised. When I told the boy about this, that my mom found out we had sex, he responded, “Did you have to say we had sex? Couldn’t you have said we boinked or something?” Boink. Boink is the word that he would have rather me use. Whether it’s boink, fuck, screw, smash, smush, bump uglies, nail, hit, tap, spank, scored, or whatever else, the language that surrounds sex is clearly generated from males and male-focused pornography. The only term that I can possibly think of that is more sensitive toward females is “sleep with” – which really has nothing to do with sex. Sleeping with someone never means actually sleeping with someone. The last guy that I dated, I slept with him dozens of times, but never once did we have sex. “Sleeping with” someone is just a euphemism. “Making love” is at least more accurate. I think that if we lived in a female-centered world in regards to sex, all of the terms would be euphemisms. Males like the nitty gritty details, and exaggerations, especially toward their buddies. Women are placed under a double standard, so if they discussed their sexual encounters in the same manner, they would seem to be sluts or whores, especially to their friends. Granted, if it were a female-centered world, the double standard would certainly not exist, so maybe we would use the same terms as males do now. I also can’t help but think that maybe no words would be used at all. I won’t deny that females have the same sexual desires and needs as men do in their own way, but I think that women would be more private about it, and keep to themselves. Historians know that vibrators and dildos have been around for centuries, but why was it that not until 1953, when Alfred Kinsey published “Sexual Behavior in the Human Female” and Hugh Hefner began Playboy, did it take light? Women wouldn’t need words to exaggerate their sex lives like men do because they would keep it to themselves. Sat, 2 Apr 2011 01:00:20 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/31/if-we-lived-in-a-female-centered-world-what-words-would-be-used-to-describe-sex-119-blog/#IDComment139245172 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/15/lgbt-families-theres-a-lot-of-fear-out-there/#IDComment135920622 It seems that whenever America makes one step forward, it takes two steps backwards when it comes to equality and civil rights. Within the last 40 years or so, America has finally been able to cope with its two biggest enemies: black people, and gay people. Black people have been waiting a long time to be able to do whatever they want. And while they still face some adversity everyday, they’ve come a long way since lynching and Jim Crowe laws. America shrugged its shoulders and turned its head toward the gays, because apparently we always need to hate something. The issue has always been, do homosexual couples receive the same marriage rights as heterosexual couples? And better yet – should they be allowed to be parents? Some would say, it’s just not natural. God said “Let there be vaginal intercourse!” And that’s one activity that certainly needs both the lock AND the key. If God didn’t naturally allow for same sex couples to have children, then it shouldn’t be allowed! Right? Well plenty of heterosexual couples can’t have children because God didn’t allow it naturally. So they adopt. And while it’s everyone’s dream to pass on their dashing good looks and incredible smarts, there are millions of children out there who are looking for good homes. These children are unwanted by their God given unfit parents, and unwanted by heterosexual couples that have God given sperm and eggs. So, essentially, its better that these children live their lives alone – extremely likely to become criminals or homeless once they turn 18 and are removed from the system, likely to be shifted from foster home to foster home of families that will house dozens of children just to receive tax cuts – than to move to a welcoming, loving homosexual home just because it’s “just not natural”. I can’t stand it. Meanwhile, millions of tax dollars are being spent on orphanages and foster homes and all of these things when really, these children have the possibility of having a home. If nothing else, America should stop trying to impose what’s “right” and do what makes sense financially. But we all know that no one can agree upon that either. Fri, 18 Mar 2011 22:10:40 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/15/lgbt-families-theres-a-lot-of-fear-out-there/#IDComment135920622 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/13/whats-the-sociological-message-here/#IDComment130767683 For pretty much all of time, people got married and had children when they essentially were still children. If you didn’t have a spouse by the time you were, say, 20 years old, something was seriously wrong with you. Fast forward to today, and due to the empowerment of women as well as the dramatically increased life expectancy, it is completely normal to get married well into your thirties. HOWEVER, people still have a tendency to feel the need to find their “own and only soul mate” by the time they graduate high school. Society, movies, and romantic novels have made the world romanticize their ideas of love and relationships – and inadvertently making everyone who doesn’t have a “one true love” at any particular given moment feel nothing but loneliness and all around shittiness. It’s very rare that people feel any meaning in their lives when they’re not in love; and even when they are in love, they don’t feel any meaning because they’re not happy with who their with. People rush into relationships to feel self-gratification that usually they end up with some one who is completely wrong for them. It’s an ass-kicking circle of misery, is what it is. But when people do find the one that is right for them at that specific time in their lives, it’s hard to picture what life would be without them. I mean, that’s why people in domestically abusive relationships stay, right? They don’t want to be alone. No one does. But statistically, Tim Minchin is absolutely right. There are billions of people in the world – there are at least hundreds that you could end up in a beautifully happy relationship with. It’s just a matter of who you meet first. And who doesn’t fuck it up in some stupid way. But people just love to romanticize everything. People need to believe that they have the story book romance that everyone is jealous of. People need to be special. And if that relationship ends, yeah, you’re going to feel really shitty. You’re going to feel like the world is crumbling around you and you’ll never find love again. But you will – you just have to stop being so fucking dramatic. Sat, 26 Feb 2011 05:13:51 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/13/whats-the-sociological-message-here/#IDComment130767683 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/02/14/men-and-women-were-really-this-different/#IDComment126070146 I am a straight woman and for years I’ve thought that I had it all figured out. If I think more like a guy, I can live a happier life – and it was true, for a while. I’ve lived by the “hook up and shut up” rule for almost two years. Don’t get too attached; focus on the now instead of the later; get your nut first and get the rest later. By thinking more like a guy, or at least how I thought guys are supposed to think, I could never get my heart broken. I would be three steps ahead of the game. That was until I met someone. I had a feeling that he was going to change the way I played the game, but I acted cool until I knew for sure. Feelings were moving fast and he began talk about “dating”, but I pushed him away because I thought that was what he wanted. No guy really wants a relationship, right? Before I met him, I never worried about “did he text me today?” like most women do. I never wondered about what a guy was doing or if he was thinking about me, too. But now it’s all that’s ever on my mind and I’m fucking exhausted. I guess what I’m trying to say is that men and women are built to think and act a certain way. It’s not just a stereotype. And women can pretend like they don’t want feelings involved but when they meet that particular guy, all they want are feelings. Women need security. Women need security or they’ll die of self pity. Who cares if men need a sex robot? They never have to worry about texting a sex robot to make her feel pretty. They never have to worry about trying too hard or saying the right things. They never have to worry about getting yelled at or interrogated because he hadn’t changed her batteries in 3 days. Sex robots don’t feel neglected. Sex robots are easy. Now if only they made a male sex robot that DOES text you every day, performs cunnilangus, AND makes you pancakes in the morning. Sat, 5 Feb 2011 04:12:34 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/02/14/men-and-women-were-really-this-different/#IDComment126070146 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/14/what-about-the-men/#IDComment124468877 When discussing media and body images, it seems that people only focus on the negative effects that women feel. And it’s natural: it’s always women we see in Sports Illustrated magazines and calendars, Hooters, Playboy, Maxim’s Hot 100… America is obsessed with breasts. Not to mention that it’s typically thought that women are more sensitive in general, and always comparing themselves to other women. It’s a stereotype for women to get hysterically self conscious when their boyfriend of husband is looking at another girl, going to strip clubs, or watching porn. Young girls around the world develop eating disorders because they are trying to live up to this perceived notion of what “beautiful” actually means. No one thinks about how men feel in this situation. No one thinks about the effects that the media has on men. Is it because men are thought of as alpha males who are more concerned with competition than insecurities? Perhaps. But I think it’s more so this: men are put into two categories (in the media anyway.) There are the beautiful poster boys, whether they are actors, models, or singers, which have charmed and smiled their way onto TV screens and magazine covers. And then there are the average Joes, who are maybe overweight and a little awkward, that make everyone laugh. My point is, the media makes it much easier for men to find their place, so long as their looking for it. With a little personality, it doesn’t matter if a man if overweight or awkward or ugly. It’s all okay as long as he can laugh at himself. But men still feel just as insecure as the ladies do, just in a different way. Women idolize other women, whether it’s Kim Kardashian or the hot yoga instructor at their gym. Women are constantly comparing themselves side to side with women of interest. Just because men don’t juxtapose themselves to other men, they still have that competitive streak in them that can cause jealousy. Here’s a story: a friend and I went to a Trey Songz concert a few months ago, and my friend ended up getting into an outrageous fight because he knows how sexy she thinks Trey Songz is. Men feel the pressures of media figures, they just express it differently. Sat, 29 Jan 2011 03:54:37 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/14/what-about-the-men/#IDComment124468877 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/what-does-it-mean-to-be-free/#IDComment122897983 When asked about our lives, most of us would simply say ordinary. We get up in the early hours of the morning, we go to some sort of work five days out of the week, we come home to our families to eat dinner, maybe we'll watch some television, we'll go to bed, and then we'll do the same thing again the next day. Typical. Ordinary. We live for those seldom days when we take our kid to the ball game, or go on a day trip or vacation. We need to go out of our general way to have a good time, and it's typically only on these days that we ever appreciate our families or lives. Thank God for letting us live in America and not in some third world country where we can't escape the daily to-do of our schedules for just one day, or even one hour. But think about your typical day again. You wake up and open your blinds to a warm sun laying a tender hand upon your face. You drive your car, wind in your face, radio on, to a job that you are lucky to have, making money to maintain the standard of living for you and your family. Coming home to a house full of people that love you and support you, a wife who cooks a delicious meal and budding minds of children that depend on you to mold them into intelligent, charismatic adults. Having great sex with a wife who craves you even after all these years, and falling asleep and waking up again in her arms… Although “ordinary” is very different depending on your own society, it’s easy to take for granted all of these beautiful things that so many people in this world don’t have, things that life in prison will make you wish you had. B was only 18 when he was sentenced to life in prison. He was only just receiving his lawful freedoms when they were taken away from them. After reading his entry, I scanned through my own day and thought about everything I’d have to give up. When I walked out of class today to the windy, frigid State College air, I complained and wished to be somewhere warmer… but really, I’m perfectly glad to be where I am. Sat, 22 Jan 2011 02:08:09 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/what-does-it-mean-to-be-free/#IDComment122897983 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cg%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment122197049 soc 001 Wed, 19 Jan 2011 03:46:23 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cg%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment122197049