"Recognizing why we respond the way we do to each other in the event of people changing is key to connecting us to the real issues in our hearts."

Holding onto this line right now, in light of change that is causing disconnect.

I just wrote this deeply intricate comment as soon as I finished reading this. It just flowed. And then God stopped me and showed me that it was more than a comment, it was my starting point for something I've been struggling to write this month. So even though I have a ton of thoughts running around me about this very beautiful piece of artwork of yours, I shall simply say, "My comment will be seen in February."

But I will leave this: The deepness of the well within you is such an invaluable treasure to us who are blessed by what you share. You have a way of seeing and hearing and thinking that is so uniquely you, richly wrapped by the heart of God. He has gifted you with this ability to safely invite others to discover who they are ... to come out and play.

love.Love.LOVE. this.

although you're writing from a focused place of self-sabotage regarding self image, there are truths deposited in your writing that span across myriads of issues. this one bounced off the page at me:

"our wounded hearts grasp at control when fear is present."

i am just beginning a new journey of my own and the first thing i am processing through, with help, is this issue of control buddied up to fear. i applaud you for writing "from the middle" because (like my recent article on DIB), i am understanding and appreciating the necessity for sharing our stories right from the midst of them, instead of waiting until we can share their pretty little endings with them.

when we dare to uncover ourselves (appropriately) while still in the discovery and learning process, we provide an unspoken invitation to others to feel safe enough to come out from their hiding places too. (hmmm, i realize as that sentence was written, that it's the catalyst i needed to jump start my next article for DIB ... love how Holy Spirit reveals as we yield)

thank you, ris, for sharing "from this middle".

love.Love.LOVE. ~ babs

Joanie, I love your addition "while we are waiting, God is not inactive". Wow! That is so inspiring and encouraging to me today. I needed that! Thank you!

Jennifer, I thank you for your return encouragement and receive your prayers!

Lynne, I can't help but smile as I read this because while I didn't see your face the day I say with God to write this, He did and you and your family were on His heart. I am so truly touched by you taking time to comment and share with me God's faithfulness. I pray God continues to watch over your and yours as you all walk out your journeys with Him.

Trish, I am so honored and inspired by the time you took to share your story. My goodness, what a testimony it is! Stories of God's faithfulness are just my absolute favorite!!! And the year you have lived with Him is one of redemption and provision. Thank you so very much for allowing your "NOW" story to glorify God and lift us up! ~ Babs

Kristin,

First ... getting to finally spend some social time with you this past weekend only serves to put my heart closer to your writing because now I know a wee-bit of your story. And there's so much more I would love to learn! So, I'm totally inviting myself to have coffee with you one day (your desire and schedule permitting, of course). ;D

Second ... this blog hits me square in the bulls-eye of my heart. The details of your story are not mine (actually "ours" -- my husband's and mine), but the context is: dealing with the disappointment of a "no" (or multiple no's) and then learning to dig deep into trust.

Can I just say that the couple questions you included "from a friend" sound just like Alan Smith? We had the privilege of some one-on-one time with him yesterday and the questions he throws at you concerning control are THE BEST EVER!

“Do you really think you have that much power; that much control?”

And I can see here that one (or two) good questions made a significant difference in seeing things differently. That's the power of freedom question ... as long as we're willing to receive and apply.

Your words are so very encouraging and empowering and compelling! Thank you for sharing because my heart is moved towards God's trust more this morning...

"During that seven months, I had several opportunities both privately and publicly to choose trust. I’m not going to lie, there were plenty of times my inability to choose trust in the moment spilled out as ugly to the people asking and inquiring out of love for me. It was not pretty. But, eventually, the more I exercised trust in the privacy of my own mind and heart, there started to be more times that I just chose ... TRUST!"

TUCKING THESE WORDS OF YOURS INTO MY HEART POCKET TODAY!

love.Love.LOVE. ~ Babs

Ris,

I have read this article a few times since it posted on Monday. I've written just as many comments ... and then deleted them. This article is timely and I can see there is good food for my soul in it. I recognize it. But boy, am I tired from the wearing down of this particular relationship. I wish it was someone I could say, "Let's just go our separate ways." But, unfortunately, due to the nature of this relationship, that's not happening anytime soon.

I hear "grace". I really do. My spirit wants to cling to it but my flesh is tired. I'd like to say I always give it, but the truth is, I don't. I do give way more grace, if I were to measure it on a scale, but that's not how God desires for me to look at it. I hear "honor' and I cringe. (I know, that's not so pretty, but it's true.) I hear "bless" and I want to have reached a place where my spirit doesn't battle my flesh to win here, but I'm not there yet. And "believe the best"? Over years of experiencing "it's my way or I'm going to make life difficult for you and even manipulate people with lies", I struggle to even believe there is a best. (Again, not pretty, just the truth of the moment.)

This relationship is wearing, and after years of this and some major escalation over the holiday, I just have reached a point where my heart is tired. So, I keep reading this, knowing I need it (knowing my tank is empty and I need to be filled up).

You are DIB's "Grace Girl". Everything of you flows from the origin of grace. It's what I love most about you. You're always encouraging us toward grace and more grace--compelling us to dig deeper in this area. Thank you for that!

love.Love.LOVE.
Babs

Nancy,

I immediately resonated with your love of the refrigerator and good food filling it up. I, too, am a food snob (at heart), so my snobishness (my word) expands or contracts with the budget. And cheese? Goodness. You've won my stomach's heart with that one word!

More importantly, I am so encouraged and compelled to head for the heavenly fridge! Your straight-forward approach to His throne is both refreshing and inspiring. I feel like I just sat through a bite-sized Equipping class.

Dare I say--not to compare but to compliment--that you and Alan have such similar teaching styles and perspectives. Your choice of illustrations are flavored by male and female experiences, but you both see the Kingdom of God in parallel views; you both have a knack for sharing the Word and heart of God in an easy-to-understand dialogue. With so many years together, you are a beautiful and promising example of two hearts becoming one in the unity and bond of Christ Jesus.

I love your teacher's heart and for the way you so easily bring us into your world with your words.

"I think He laughs out loud when His kids begin to dig in and discover the abundant blessing and power available to them. He knows how to give us good gifts—and He likes doing it."

I believe this too and delight in the imagery of our Creator--my "with-me-every-moment-of-every-day" Father--laughing out loud. He doesn't tell us that laughter is good medicine for nothing. :)

love.Love.LOVE.
Babs