gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Deleted Comment Of The Day: If We Were Really Progressive We'd Hate Blacks And Mexicans?

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:07:21 +0000

My work here is done.

Wonkette : Deleted Comment Of The Day: If We Were Really Progressive We'd Hate Blacks And Mexicans?

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:07:02 +0000

Truth! However, I'm only halfway through my Javascript stuff on Codecademy, so I have yet to really apply JS to any real-world trolling.

Wonkette : Deleted Comment Of The Day: If We Were Really Progressive We'd Hate Blacks And Mexicans?

Sat, 18 May 2013 19:12:37 +0000

I'm learning Javascript today! Therefore, I will answer you in the form of an if/else statement. var whoseSideAreYouOn = "teh elitez"; if(whoseSideAreYouOn === "teh elitez") { return "HATE SPEW"; } else { return "TOTAL CONFUSION"; } ; The mistake you're making here is that the variable is ALWAYS "TEH ELITEZ." NEVER ANYTHING ELSE.

Wonkette : Deleted Comment Of The Day: If We Were Really Progressive We'd Hate Blacks And Mexicans?

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:37:50 +0000

This... makes no sense. I tried to read it several times, even! Maybe it's that missing capital at the beginning; I'm a grammar elitist, OH NOEZ.

Wonkette : Hey, Let's All Have Some Old Handsome Joe Biden!

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 18:40:05 +0000

You're welcome. ;D

Wonkette : You Guys, John Boehner Said A Swear!

Wed, 2 Jan 2013 20:56:17 +0000

*slow clap* brilliant.

Wonkette : You Guys, John Boehner Said A Swear!

Wed, 2 Jan 2013 15:28:41 +0000

He really should get that looked at before it rots off.

Wonkette : You Guys, John Boehner Said A Swear!

Wed, 2 Jan 2013 15:26:17 +0000

He said "go fudge yourself." Reid did not understand that there was some leftover holiday fudge on the table behind him, and Boehner was merely indicating that he should try some because it's delicious.

Wonkette : You Guys, John Boehner Said A Swear!

Wed, 2 Jan 2013 15:23:48 +0000

Later, Orange Blossom* got out his Justin Bieber diary and wrote: "Today I told that choad Hairy (like hairy balls, haha) to go fuck himself. He was SO SHOCKED. I had to say it again! It was AWESOME. Everyone was all 'dude, you totally nailed him!' Except Cantor, who kept looking at gavels on eBay on his phone for some reason. I don't think he likes me. He's probably just jealous that this bro laid a SICK BURN on Hairy Ballsack. "Oh, and Ryan told me he scored some REALLY NASTY dog shit. We're gonna put it in a paper bag, toss it on Biden's porch, light it on fire, ring the doorbell and run. It's gonna be EPIC. I don't know how Ryan comes up with this stuff." *Orange Blossom is his My Little Pony name

Wonkette : Put Some Food On Your Family With Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 17:35:46 +0000

a) I love you, zombie Ken Layne b) I'm totally making this shit c) My grandpa used to pick cranberries and he didn't have any piercings, SO THERE

Wonkette : New Birther Judge Gary Kreep: Gays Threw Pus And Come On Me

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 15:08:11 +0000

You guys really surprised at Chicago? We also re-elected a dude who was thrown out of the state legislature for corruption and now cannot be thrown out again. And Jesse Jackson Jr, who did zero campaigning and has been AWOL for six months. Chicago REALLY LIKES incumbents, what can I say.

Wonkette : Romney Crowd Will Defeat Hurricanes With Chants Of U-S-A! (Video)

Fri, 2 Nov 2012 14:22:41 +0000

It's the fun story of an Editrix and her schizophrenic stalker.

Wonkette : Sad Pundits: Why Won't Insiders Tell Us Who Will Win The Election?

Thu, 1 Nov 2012 14:56:41 +0000

In that case the only winner is the lady running for state senate, because those are the only yard signs in my neighborhood. (We like her.) Nah, who am I kidding, I live in Chicagoland. Nobody's gonna bother putting up a Romney sign.

Wonkette : Brother Of George W. Bush Simply Does Not Care For Childish Cuss-Monger Barack Obama 'Coarsening' Pr

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 19:44:14 +0000

Obviously dude has never listened to Obama's audiobook in which he swears profusely and hilariously. http://blog.thephoenix.com/blogs/phlog/archive/20... ETA this one is my favorite. http://blog.thephoenix.com/blogs/blogs/phlog/OBAM...

Wonkette : Ghost Breitbart's 'Happy Cult' Degenerates Into Sad Mess Of Confusion And Backbiting

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 19:56:59 +0000

Gummy the alligator is Pinkie Pie's pet. Spike the baby dragon is Twilight Sparkle's unpaid intern. Stop staring at me, I have a five-year-old daughter. ...okay fine, and I like the show. It's wacky!

Wonkette : Ghost Breitbart's 'Happy Cult' Degenerates Into Sad Mess Of Confusion And Backbiting

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 19:55:00 +0000

For the record, I love the ponies. And the popcorn.gif-worthy post.

Wonkette : U.S. American Mitt Romney Does Not Have Maps

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:17:21 +0000

I think "Viscount Hairgel" needs to be in my daily lexicon.

Wonkette : U.S. American Mitt Romney Does Not Have Maps

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:15:09 +0000

Seriously, its butt looks so much smaller.

Wonkette : Sad Coot John McCain Simply Does Not Care For Whippersnapper Obama And His 'Cheap Shots'

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 15:09:05 +0000

OT: hey I'm back! Did I miss anything? Also I learned Portuguese but I'm sure that will have no use here at Wonkette.

Wonkette : Sad Face: Wonkette Bread And Butter Michele Bachmann May Be In Trouble

Fri, 28 Sep 2012 22:33:23 +0000

Guys, don't sweat it. She will immediately get on the dole for Faux News, where she can crazy the day away with no actual legislative powers. It's a win-win!