badcowpuns

badcowpuns

158p

17 comments posted · 4 followers · following 0

232 weeks ago @ The Toast - We Are Closing The Toa... · 0 replies · +62 points

Wow. We super love you guys. I can't wait to see what new avenues this opens up for you. Thank you so much for your hard, tireless, (payless!) work over these years. ♥

232 weeks ago @ The Toast - The First Line Of Ever... · 0 replies · +57 points

These are easily some of the best jokes I've read in months.

236 weeks ago @ The Toast - People In Tiny Houses ... · 1 reply · +30 points

Oh my gosh, I haven't thought about that song in AGES. WHAT A THROWBACK. I totally know the song in question but in fact it's a (bad) pun on my name (Steer). In hindsight I should have gone with cowdoldrums. Another username, another time. (Also, thank you! You're very kind.)

236 weeks ago @ The Toast - People In Tiny Houses ... · 0 replies · +82 points

Oh, god. That might be one that doesn't necessitate any changes.

236 weeks ago @ The Toast - People In Tiny Houses ... · 9 replies · +158 points

I'm thinking of ways to expand it. A whole series of reality shows made nightmare. Property Brothers, but where the brothers only grin and grin and hold axes and as they demolish your house they get more beautiful, as though their beauty can only be fed by destruction. I'll probably pitch it properly later in fact! Thank you for the encouragement. :')

236 weeks ago @ The Toast - People In Tiny Houses ... · 16 replies · +394 points

I think living somewhere small is wonderful to be honest, and that very few square feet is perfectly respectable for many, and that we should all consider carefully lives of excess. But the woobification of tiny houses as somehow a ~purer way of life and that it may solve society's ills is so ridiculous that I have a mildly visceral response to the tiny house discussion now. Every time I hear someone talking about how 110 sq.ft has made the world a better place my breath sticks in my chest. I keep waiting for Mallory to appear and start narrating "Houses Made Horrifying: Tiny House, Tiny Self."

(But nowhere to be found was a house tiny enough. The couple entered and looked around, but the house was too large. "No. No." They shook their heads. "This is not tiny enough. Our spirits will fit. Our wills will stand tall. We cannot suffer our spirits to thrive. We must find a smaller house."

And the couple looked and looked, but still their spirits stood tall. "It is not small enough," they said, again and again. "In this house we can love. In this house we can breathe. In this house we may fit our minds, our ambitions, our selves. Truly this house is not tiny enough."

And so they went, on and on, looking and smaller and smaller houses until finally they could barely fit. The couple looked at each other and nodded their heads yes, but only barely, for the house was so small. "Yes. Yes," they said, wheezing with effort. "This house is just tiny enough." And so the couple stood as stone and crushed their spirits day by day, until they became the house, and the house became them.)

237 weeks ago @ The Toast - Thursday Open Thread · 0 replies · +64 points

Yes! In my case it did not work out so well because he was rather a serial cheater. I'm not sorry I made the effort to try to get us back on track and I'm not sorry I ended it when I did. Here is what happened:

-Cheated on me with ex-girlfriend, we broke up, did not talk for three weeks, reconciled with the understanding that he was to sever contact with her. He actually did this.
-Cheated on me with mutual friend, we did not break up, we had many, many long and emotional conversations about what we wanted out of our relationship, which he did not shy away from. This told me he was willing to put in the work, so we tried again. We both remained friends with friend. (Not recommended.)
-Cheated on me with someone he just met. We did break up. Likely he was still sleeping with above friend.

I'm glad we both broke up and got back together the first time! I'm glad I broke up with him for good the third time! I regret how I handled the second time! Forgiveness is something I have historically found very difficult, so the fact that I managed it twice with the same [redacted pejorative] is pretty amazing to me -- check in with yourself to see what your relationship with forgiveness is like. You have to be able to forgive to make this work, but you also can't forget it happened in the relationship, imo -- you have to treat the cheating like a living creature in your relationship, something to be tended to and not forgotten.

Four years later I am no longer in contact with any of these people, have moved across the country, and am extremely happy with someone who would sooner [extremely outlandish thing] than cheat on me, although it took me about 18 months to figure that out. I was also intermittently once again happy within the above relationship, so happiness is possible within your relationship now, and happiness is possible outside of it, and I wish for you so many good things either way.

242 weeks ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +1 points

Aw, perfect. Thank you. C:

242 weeks ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 2 replies · +2 points

I know I'm late to this in every possible respect, but I just joined twitter with a public account (I've had a private account for a long time) and I'd love a positive experience with communicating with people on the internet before I cleanse everything with fire and remove all traces of myself from the twittersphere. I remember there was a toasties twitter group? Who do I contact to see if they'd let me join? (I'm at badcowpun there. I have exactly one tweet and it is about possible misandrist Mary Poppins. I'll get there.)

242 weeks ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 2 replies · +8 points

I'm so glad I'm not the only one whose cat sits in tubs and sinks. I have never had a cat do this before and I think it's so hilarious and weird.