en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2402981 Comments by amandapanda1228 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment144687958 I really enjoyed this letter and found it to be extremely relevant. Why are we all so quick to judge and label people when we do not have any real basis to do so? As much as I hate when people label me without even getting to know me first, I unfortunately do the exact same thing. Just by looking at someone without even talking to them I can categorize them into the certain label or stereotype that I assume that they fall into. I believe that a lot of my self-perception has to do with the way that people act around me and react to the things I say and do. This obviously forms a lot of my personality and the way I interact with others. That is why it is so extremely important to stop labeling others because it can only lead to negative outcomes. I think we as a society do this way too often which causes us to have preconceived notions about people that are completely wrong. I feel as though this happens a lot in schools to many students. A teacher on the first day of class, just by looking at the student’s sex or race already formulates their opinions on what type of student they are going to be. After the initial preconception it is often hard for a student to change the teachers mind or meet that expectation. That is why as someone who wants to become a teacher I hope that I can try as best to my ability to treat every student as a blank slate regardless of what my thoughts about their race or gender may be. If a student knows that their teacher doesn’t believe in their abilities than they are obviously just going to give up trying because they know that no one is going to appreciate them. Referring back to the letter from the lifers, I think that the way that the Temple professor started off the class was perfect. I can only imagine the tension that must have been felt in that classroom within the first few minutes. I think that before he said anything both the Temple students and the Graterford inmates were both swirling around names of labels that for one another in their heads. However, once each of the groups could understand that one another are more than just “convicts” “criminals” or “spoiled rich kids.” Once everyone steps out of these stereotypes then we can actually see that there is a person behind the “criminal” who may have just made one poor mistake. People may actually end up surprising you once you give them the chance to break away from the preconceived ideas you made about them. Thu, 21 Apr 2011 02:21:33 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment144687958 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/transgendered-complications/#IDComment143276765 When I first started reading this article I feel that although he was technically born a woman, he considers himself a man, therefore he should be able to hold the job he was originally hired for. It must have been a difficult decision for the employer, but considering she fired him on the spot made me wonder. I can completely understand how the job position was meant to have been for a male, but if Mr. Deverau has considered himself a “man” his entire life, then why would he not be? Would the boss have fired him if the job didn’t entail watching males or being a male in order to get the job in the first place? If I was her I would have offered him another position doing something else at the same place. Just like some other people said, the thing that I questioned the most was the fact that the article said El’Jai had an 18 year-old son. If he didn’t start taking hormones to physically make his body male, then does this mean he had the child himself? If so, this could definitely affect the reasoning and decisions behind determining whether or not he is actually male or female. It is definitely hard because I feel empathetic towards the transgendered people who face problems like this these days. When they make the decision to change their bodies and lives forever, they know they will face problems and discrimination, but do they know they will face life threatening issues? Just like Mr. Deverau who lost his job and possibly his entire income which he must rely on to survive, all because of his gender. I think that unfortunately not enough research has been done and there is not enough awareness about transgendered people so that it makes it easier for society as a whole to understand them. I’m glad that Mr. Deverau is taking legal action about this issue because I believe that if there is more attention given to issues about transgendered people that sometime in the near future people will begin having a better understanding about the struggles that they go through on a daily basis. Sat, 16 Apr 2011 01:59:56 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/transgendered-complications/#IDComment143276765 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment140628729 As I read the beginning of this post I unrealistically hoped that someday I will be able to find a man who would possess all of these qualities. I spent two years in a relationship in high school being so in love with my boyfriend and would do absolutely anything for him. I always knew he loved me but I would constantly wish that he would show how much he cared about me more. I wanted him to admit when he was wrong; basically I just wanted him to appreciate how much I cared about him. I would often think “am I asking too much of him?” and until I went to college I believed that I was asking too much from him. Now that we have broken up and have had time apart I realize now that I deserve to have someone treat me the right way and to have someone love me as much as I love them. Of course I don’t believe that one man can possess all of the qualities that are described in this letter, but why should we as women at least expect some of them? I was extremely shocked that he wrote “I’ve been brain washed into believing that all women want is sex and money.” I don’t understand why men believe that is all we could want? Yes, those things are nice but do not even come close to what is actually important in a relationship. What was also interesting to me was that he wasn’t able to realize all of those things about women until he had spent years in prison. Are movies and tv really giving men these completely wrong ideas? It saddens me that now that this man has realized how he wants to treat a woman he unfortunately will never have the chance to be able to be an amazing boyfriend or husband to any woman out there. I know that there is no “perfect man” who would be able to fulfill any woman’s wildest dreams and I don’t think that anyone should expect their boyfriend to act like this. Sometimes it is people’s imperfections that attract you to them. I just believe that no one should just settle for someone who doesn’t meet their realistic expectations of how they want to be treated because they think that it is impossible. Thu, 7 Apr 2011 02:54:55 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment140628729 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/managing-crowds/#IDComment139164442 To manage a crowd, everyone needs to be informed prior to the incident of what actions they need to take if something does actually happen. As much as giving a detailed plan of action seems like a good idea, when it is actually time to put the plan into action, people panic. More than likely if a nuclear disaster was about to happen I would forget about the details of the plan and do whatever I possibly could to save myself and my family. I believe a majority of other people think this way as well. This obviously leads to major problems in times of crisis such as in the evacuation before hurricane Rita. In this case, people who were in low-risk areas of danger still evacuated which led to an unforeseen amount of traffic and chaos. It is easy enough to say to the people in the low risk areas that they have to allow the high-risk people to evacuate first. However if it was my family, I wouldn’t take any chances regardless of whether our area was considered low-risk or not. When there is no crisis, people can easily understand that not panicking will not only benefit them but will also benefit the group as a whole. However under the conditions of life or death how many people are willing to make calm, rational decisions that will benefit the group as a whole? Of course there have been several instances where people have tried to act in this way but may have failed because no one listened to them even if it would have been for their benefit. I think that when people are faced with danger, it becomes very difficult to trust and rely on someone else you do not know to help you. The idea of this alone is very scary because how are you able to know that the person who appears to be trying to help the whole group isn’t just acting in their own interest. Unfortunately in times of crisis and danger all we can do is hope that the plan of action put in place and the people around us are going to work towards leading your family and yourself to safety. Fri, 1 Apr 2011 18:07:56 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/managing-crowds/#IDComment139164442 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137311287 This is an extremely powerful letter that truly makes me realize how lucky I am to have a loving family who cares and supports me. It’s shocking that someone’s own parents could be so incredibly cruel and abusive to their own child. I actually thought throughout the majority of the letter that the writer was the girl because it said the father was doing the raping. I do not understand how someone could be so sick in the head where they can justify persistently raping their child. What I also found to be very weird about his situation was that even his own siblings were in on the abuse. Why did the parents only abuse him but not the others? I wish that this man could have had a safe outlet where he could have gone to and told someone about what was going on without them thinking that he was a liar because of the way his parents portrayed him. I believe that if he had that outlet, he would have been able to save himself from years of horrible abuse and two life sentences in jail. Although murder is never really the “right” thing to do, I think that in his case, at least in my opinion, it was justified. His parents took away his chance to lead a normal happy life like everyone else. They kept him living in constant fear of being brutally abused or even murdered. What frustrates me the most is that his parents and siblings were seen to the outside world as normal average people when in the fact they were cold hearted, evil, and sick abusers who ruined the life of their own family member. I am somewhat confused as to how not one of his teachers or anyone throughout his life took notice of the fact that he was being abused. Wouldn’t he have had visible bruises on his body? Why wasn’t there just one person who took notice of this and tried to get him help? It makes me very sad for this man that there was not one person in his life who he felt that he could confide in and trust that they could help him. It makes me cringe to even imagine what living life in constant fear of your own family must feel like. I hope that in prison this man can find some salvation from the horrible life he led and loose some of the fear he carried with him his whole life. Thu, 24 Mar 2011 19:25:25 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137311287 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment135645292 When we think of the lottery, it is hard to imagine the negative effects of what could happen and how our lives would change if we did actually win. We can only see the fairytale, carefree lifestyle that is commonly associated with winning millions of dollars. However, as the article stated, money can cause people to do crazy and irrational things. Even if the money doesn’t change the winner themselves, other people in one’s life may start asking for favors and try to control your money. Unfortunately another negative aspect of winning the lottery is that you really no longer know who you can trust. People who you used to consider some of your closest most trustworthy friends may actually try and take advantage of your new fortune. Those who play the lottery on a regular basis are likely to be very poor and believe that winning the lottery is their only way out. However, these people throughout their lives probably have not had very much success with money. Therefore if they do end up winning the jackpot, they do not have a plan as to what to do with the money which leads them to spending it wastefully and letting others influence them negatively. They also don’t “fit” into the culture of the upper class. Just because they now have the money to be considered rich, they have not grown up living that lifestyle. They don’t understand what to do when you have that much money at one time. Like Sam said in class you cannot buy your way into a culture. I think that in order for the lottery to continue to be a positive thing in people’s lives, they should not be able to obtain all of the money at one time in a lump sum. Getting the money over time will help prevent it from being spent on wasteful things and reduce the effects of other people trying to mooch off of you. Also as stated in the article, getting the money over time will keep you happier for a longer because the excitement of the money will be spread out. If the money does need to be given at one time, I think that it is imperative that the person tries to keep a low profile and spends their money wisely and conservatively. Thu, 17 Mar 2011 18:36:22 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment135645292 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/13/whats-the-sociological-message-here/#IDComment132186801 Many people believe in the idea of “soul mates” and that there is just one person out there who is destined for you. However, this hilarious video and our discussion about falling in love in class really makes me think about how silly the idea of soul mates really is. We all want to believe that the one we love is the perfect match for us and that we could never find anyone else like them in the world. But what really are the chances that you are going to meet the “perfect” person for you? In your life you are most likely only going to interact on a day to day basis with people who have a similar economic and social status as you or who share similar interests to you. Like Tim Minchin sings about in the video, what are the chances of millions of possible people you could end up with that you will “stumble upon your soul mate” that is perfectly designed for you in your high school math class for example. If you think about it, what if the circumstances had been different and you never were in that certain math class in high school; you may have never met the person whom which you consider to be “the one.” Your life still would go on in the same fashion but most likely just with someone else who “would do.” According to sociology the people we love are put in front of us by the factors and forces attached to us, meaning that there really isn’t that many different types of people you can potentially fall in love with. The people you end up with are usually going to match you and your social traits and fate does not have anything to do with it. This may be a bit depressing to those who believe in fate however very comforting to some; especially those who have just recently gone through a break up. After a break up many times we feel depressed because we believe that we lost the one and only person who will ever make us happy and be compatible to us. But although that person may have seemed perfect, chances are you will eventually find someone who is as good if not better than your ex. Love really isn’t about two individuals who share this certain spiritual energy between them as much as it is the sociological forces that work between them make these two people attracted to one another. Thu, 3 Mar 2011 20:32:27 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/13/whats-the-sociological-message-here/#IDComment132186801 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/21/stranger-kidnapping/#IDComment130380516 When Sam said in class how we are not supposed to teach our children NOT to talk to strangers, but HOW to talk to strangers I was skeptical. This idea goes against one of the main rules that I have been taught to follow throughout my whole life. Even now knowing the facts about risk, I still feel as though I would be hesitant to approach any old stranger on the street if I was in trouble. Videos like these are the reason why people today have extremely unwarranted fears of strangers and kidnappings. The news makes events like this seem like an everyday occurrence that we as a society should be on constant watch for and to protect our children from at all times. However, if we really step back and take a look at the facts, the chances of these events happening are extremely rare and should not be something that we worry about on a constant basis. Take the example in class; hardly any of us raised our hands when Sam asked if we would allow our children to walk to school less than a mile away. Why is that? I know that when my mom was growing up she walked everywhere, whether it was to school, grocery shopping or to friends’ houses. What makes today’s society so different that we won’t even let our children walk down the street? The difference is that the media uses scare tactics to cause us to believe that if we allow our children to walk to school alone, a hundred different horrific things can and will happen to them. In order to stop all of this madness, we need to stop listening to every little thing the news says and try and instead learn the facts. In order to help ensure our children’s safety we need to educate them about what to do if they are ever lost or in a dangerous situation. We should teach them how to ask for information if they need help and what precautions to take when traveling somewhere alone or with other peers. Also, teaching them to not panic and keep calm if anything was to happen is also an important lesson to be learned. I know if I was lost in New York City for example I think I would just break down and cry and not know what to do which could lead me to getting even more lost or appearing vulnerable. However this could easily be prevented if I was taught throughout my life ways to handle these types of situations and not break down because of the fear of being kidnapped. Thu, 24 Feb 2011 18:07:58 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/21/stranger-kidnapping/#IDComment130380516 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/16/reflections/#IDComment128629907 For most lifers, I would assume that it would be easy for them to reflect on their lives and understand the circumstances which led them to be in their current situation. It may be their dysfunctional families, a bad group of friends or the lack of a support system that led them down the wrong path. However, for this particular lifer, it was much more difficult for him to pinpoint “Where did it all go wrong”? Even after twenty years in prison he was still pondering the exact reasons. Yes, he grew up in a rough neighborhood surrounded by drugs and gangs; however unlike many people around him, he had a family who constantly supported him. This leads to the discussion that we have been having in class about personal troubles and public issues. At first he was only really thinking of specific personal issues that happened in his life which led him to be incarcerated. However, as he digs deeper, he turns begins to look at the public issues. In his case, it was his sexual promiscuity which many other people were also engaging in as well. Even though he had a loving, caring family, the type of neighborhood he grew up in exposed him to risky behavior. He grew up being taught about responsibility and respect but that did not matter to him at the time because his sexual behavior caused him to spiral out of control. Now that he is able to realize that sexual promiscuity is something that leads many people down the wrong path, he is able to warn his friends and family about the dangers of sexual promiscuity. As college students I think that it is important that we look outside ourselves and learn to not only view things as personal troubles but also public issues. For me personally I am often very critical of myself and tend to only ask “what am I doing wrong?” This causes me a lot of stress and unhappiness because I am only blaming things on myself. However as we have talked about, if I really look around, I will be able to see many other students share the same problems as me. Therefore, in order to fix my personal trouble, I can maybe try and help solve the public issue in some way. Going back to the memoir by the lifer, I wonder if the realization that he is there not solely because of his own actions, but also because of the public issue in which he was involved in makes him feel better about his situation. Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:09:46 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/16/reflections/#IDComment128629907 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/conformity-rules-the-day/#IDComment127228651 I find this video to be extremely amusing. It exemplifies the most ridiculous things we do in order to conform to the group. Most of the time we don’t even realize we are doing these things. By watching this video from an outside perspective, it is easy to laugh and find what the subjects are doing as silly and stupid. However, most of us in the same situation would do the exact same thing. Everyone wants to feel as though they belong and they fit in with the group even if it means that you act in a way you normally would not. This idea of group think is ever present is our everyday lives especially on a college campus. A great example of this is shown in the way we dress. On the weekends most of the girls at Penn State get all dressed up in dresses, skirts, and heels to go out in. Although there have been many nights while getting ready that I just wished I could wear jeans and a sweatshirt, the feeling of being different from everyone else prevented me from doing so. I think this has a lot to do with the type of clothing we buy as well. I remember for the longest time I hated the way UGG boots looked and therefore didn’t buy them. However as they became more and more popular I felt strange not having them so I gave in and bought them. As an adolescent I especially feel a lot of pressure to conform to the group and act in a certain way. In the video with the first subject it was obvious that he was somewhat hesitant to turn around because logically it didn’t make sense. However, the tendency to go along with the group was stronger than his logic. It is a rare occasion that we see people who are not conforming to the social norms in society. Many of those people are rebelling on purpose in order to make a statement about their individuality. Therefore they are consciously making the decision to go against the group. When group think is happening we often forget our own feelings or values about something in order to fit in. That is why when there are negative consequences from group think; people have difficulty answering the question “what were you thinking?” because they really were not thinking for themselves. The factors and forces that control us in these situations are so tightly tied to us that it is almost impossible for us to go against what is “normal” or expected of us. Fri, 11 Feb 2011 00:41:12 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/conformity-rules-the-day/#IDComment127228651 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/27/americans-gone-wild/#IDComment125555413 I find this story to be completely ridiculous. The five year old child in this case was obviously unaware of what the gun was or what could happen if it was shot. The real problem here is not the five year old, it is parental negligence. What good parent allows a loaded handgun to be in the reach of their five year old child? As we spoke about in class, this issue could have easily been resolved if instead of taking the child out of class and suspending him, they could have simply taken away the gun and sent him back to class. The route of the problem is the father who failed to remember his loaded fire arm is lying around in the back of his car. Therefore the father NOT the child needs to be reprimanded. Having him take fire arm safety classes and fining him would be the most reasonable method of dealing with this problem. The reputation of this child and his family will most likely be ruined because of this incident. Other adults will view this family as a whole as irresponsible and that they don’t know how to raise their child. This could affect the future of the 5 year old throughout his school career because although the other children may not remember the gun, the other parents will most likely try and keep their own children away from him. This story really exemplifies how sensitive our society has become to situations like this. I understand the idea of zero tolerance but there are obvious times such as in this cause where there has to be some wiggle room. Obviously there was no intent by the child to shoot anyone intentionally. I think there has to be some rational person who has to speak up when they are witnessing a five year old being arrested when they see how ridiculous it is. I worked at a summer camp counselor for three years with five and six year olds. At times they would have fits of aggression towards other campers or me but I believe a lot of that stemmed from the fact that they could not communicate exactly what they were feeling. They were very naïve to many things and the idea of my campers even having the cognitive skill to plan to take their fathers gun in order to shoot someone is just absurd. Overall to label this child as a “suspect” is doing more harm than help. To suspend this child for a “crime” that he did not even know he was committing is irrational and is not dealing with the issue correctly. To help these situations from ever happening again there needs to be more education about gun control to the parents who are at the root of the problem. Thu, 3 Feb 2011 02:27:06 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/27/americans-gone-wild/#IDComment125555413 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment123909235 Every year at my high school there was an assembly where a group of 3 to 4 prisoners from the county jail would come to my school to speak to us. Even before the prisoners even began to talk, just looking at them sitting on the stage dressed in their full jumpsuit and prison regulated boots intimidated me. Each of them would tell their story of what happened to get them into the place where they are today. Far from what I had expected, these people were emotional, sensitive and extremely remorseful. They all had just made a series of mistakes or just one mistake to get them into that position. As they spoke, some would cry while recounting the incident that got them into prison. This shocked me because of their tough domineer. However, after reading the letter from the prisoner, I realize that it was wrong to just assume what kind of person is behind bars. Yes, many people in jail could be considered “monsters” that feel no remorse for their crimes; however that is not safe to say for all of them. We often forget that these people leave behind families and friends whom most of them will never see or hear from again. The story about the man whose son died in the car crash touched me because I could not even imagine the deep sadness the man must feel that he cannot be there with his family to mourn his child. I honestly have to say though that I was surprised that any of the other prisoners in the yard would even care to console him. As the man who wrote the letter said however, they all went up to him without even thinking, without asking anything in return. Why is it so easy for these men who are considered to be “beasts” or even “evil” to show each other compassion but for the rest of us, we often go through our days only worrying about ourselves and our own problems while rarely taking the time to even listen to anyone else. I believe it is because for these prisoners who are stuck on the inside, they all share this deep understanding for others who are feeling pain and truly just want to help relieve that pain even if only for a short while. For those who are “lifers” I can imagine that is easy to feel a sense of hopelessness and no reason to live. But it is the moments like this, where a man can put his arm around another and feel that deep human connection we all so desperately need that may make getting up every day easier. Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:38:40 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment123909235 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cc%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment123545370 soc001 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 23:53:09 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cc%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment123545370 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/blog-1-freedom-and-toddlers-in-tiaras/#IDComment122214265 Before viewing this video I held the assumption that mothers who put their young daughters in pageants are all stage mothers who are trying to live vicariously through their daughters. However, now after listening to the mother’s point of view from the news report, I have realized that these pageant moms are not that much different than parents who put their children on sports teams or in dance classes. When a child is two years old they obviously have a very limited amount of freedom. Therefore, the parents decide what sport or class they want to put their child in according to what they enjoy or think is best. Why is it that a beauty pageant is any different? Yes, they do tend to be over the top but if the child is having fun and enjoying themselves then I see no problem in it. As the mother was saying and the pictures showed, the little girl was smiling and obviously enjoyed performing on stage. Until the child is unhappy and doesn’t want to participate in the pageant anymore then I do not see the big deal. Another point that was brought up was the fact that the little girl was wearing a cone bra and this was much too sexual. Is wearing this little skimpy outfit sexualizing her and such a young age? I would think maybe it would be a little too sexual if the little girl was entering adolescence; however the girl was only two years old when she wore the Madonna costume. I think adults are the ones who are over exaggerating the situation and making it seem a lot more sexual then it actually is. The costumes are meant to be fun and cute; not inappropriate. On the other hand, there was the brief clip of the young girl who was being forced to wax her eyebrows for the pageant by her mother. I find this completely ridiculous especially because of the fact that the girl was terrified. The mother who made her child do this was definitely crossing the line. This is similar though to the fact that on almost every sports team for kids there is always a parent who is overly obsessed with making their child the best no matter what. The bottom line in my opinion is that as long as the child is happy and enjoying themselves in the pageant then there really is no harm in what these pageant moms are doing. I do believe however that they need to very careful in how the child responds to the attention of being on stage and the competition. If winning becomes the most important thing to the child then in the long run I feel that there will be more negative consequences than positive ones. This is up to the adult to be aware of their child’s behavior and remove them from the activity before things go too far. Wed, 19 Jan 2011 05:08:02 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/blog-1-freedom-and-toddlers-in-tiaras/#IDComment122214265