gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Openly Partisan Organization Run By Loudmouth Kook Notes Other Openly Partisan Organization Run By L

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 21:38:03 +0000

Tucker Carlson. He used to be slightly bangable.

Wonkette : BREAKING: POLITICO SCOOP: 'Politico' Makes Hilarious Error

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 21:19:48 +0000

Other state flags with hidden agendas: Indiana: The Olympics http://www.netstate.com/states/symb/flags/in_flag... Arizona: Red Chinese commies http://www.netstate.com/states/symb/flags/az_flag... Maryland: NASCAR http://www.netstate.com/states/symb/flags/md_flag...

Wonkette : Mitt Romney Plans To Win Michigan By Driving A Car

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:20:42 +0000

After this video finished, one of the suggested YouTube videos has a freeze frame of a couple wearing Temple garments. Now I can't stop thinking of Mitt driving around in his holy underpants.

Wonkette : How Much Were These People Paid To Like Mitt Romney?

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 04:05:44 +0000

They're shouting "RONNIE! RONNIE!" because some joker told them it was the Second Coming of Regan (tm)

Wonkette : John Kasich Does An Excellent Parkinson's Disease Imitation

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 04:01:33 +0000

What I got out of this: John Glenn is fucking failure because he can't carve a piece of wood.

Wonkette : Is Monstrously Obese Chris Christie Even Too Fat For Republican Voters?

Sat, 1 Oct 2011 05:37:12 +0000

His upper arm is the size of a Virginia ham. And that's not right, because it would make Lindsey Graham get all hungry.

Wonkette : Republican Politician In Louisiana Will Obviously Not Resign For His Underwear Picture Sext

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 21:54:08 +0000

I saw the picture and interpreted it as a threat--"do what I tell you or you'll see my moobs"

Wonkette : Teevee MILF Learned Hard, Gross Way Not To Sleep With NY Pols

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 21:48:12 +0000

Yeah, but they were classy crabs.

Wonkette : To Stop Climate Change, GOP Suggests Clearing World's Rainforests

Fri, 27 May 2011 18:58:31 +0000

Huh--everybody knows trees cause global warming. Look it up on your series of tubes.

Wonkette : Jon Huntsman: D&D Nerd Who Played Keyboards In Band Called 'Wizard'

Wed, 25 May 2011 21:04:45 +0000

That explains the miniature Stonehenge at his last fundraiser.

Wonkette : Here's a Video of Paul Ryan Pushing Grandma Off a Cliff

Wed, 25 May 2011 17:06:28 +0000

Hey fuck you, Grandma. You voted against gay marriage, immigration, and probably every school or library tax levy in your district. I am directing this not at my 85 year-old liberal mother or her ilk, but at most of the selfish bitches in her church and card group. They live frozen in some idealized vision of the past, like the 50s were a walk in the park for women. Bunch of Tea Party cunts.

Wonkette : Glenn Beck Hanging Around Israel, Wearing Yarmulke

Wed, 11 May 2011 03:00:16 +0000

Glenn Beck is quoting the Book of Ruth? Big lesbian.

Wonkette : Arab Guy On Plane Scaring Wingnuts Probably Just Needed To Pee Really Bad

Wed, 11 May 2011 02:57:38 +0000

Shortly after 9/11, I rushed the restroom during takeoff and lived to tell the story. The plane pulled away from the gate at La Guardia and then sat on the tarmac for 20 fucking minutes while two Sam Adams consumed at the airport bar made their way to my bladder. We had strict orders to not get up until the seat belt sign was removed. Maybe it was because the lift jets sounded so much like running water...my bladder said it's own "Allahu Akbar," and self-pissing was clearly imminent. The flight crew were strapped in their little jump seats as I ran like a maniac down the aisle. "Are you ill, ma'am?" screamed one of them. "Yes, I'm pregnant," I lied. It was the only thing to say that would prevent arrest. I locked myself in the bathroom, and they shouted that I had to stay there until they told me otherwise. It is difficult to piss while sitting at a 45 degree angle, but entirely possible. Sweet Allah, the feeling of relief. Afterwards, the flight attendant who initially screamed at me gave me an entire gingerale. Pretending pregnancy is always worth it.

Wonkette : Topanga, Moesha, and Meghan McCain Naked On Rooftop

Tue, 10 May 2011 22:24:04 +0000

Meghan was actually shielding herself from Cindy's laser eyes. Those things will kill you.

Wonkette : Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Brief History of a Show-Biz Republican

Tue, 10 May 2011 22:21:16 +0000

She's been a good Kennedy woman and washed down xanax with dry martinis for 25 years and starved herself until she looks like grim death while her husband climbed on anything with two X chromosomes. A whole Medea scenario would have been so much cooler.

Wonkette : DRUDGE SIRENS: Arab Man On Plane Got Angry Or Something

Tue, 10 May 2011 16:47:03 +0000

Second crazy dude had one of them Meskin names. Now we need Chuck Norris on every flight.

Wonkette : Al Qaeda Confirms Bin Laden Death, Promises To Rob Trains Or Whatever

Sat, 7 May 2011 01:00:46 +0000

Artemus Gordon was my secret love. At that point, him and the whipped-cream-covered girl on the cover of the Tijuana Brass album was the totality of my sexual identity.

Wonkette : Al Qaeda Confirms Bin Laden Death, Promises To Rob Trains Or Whatever

Sat, 7 May 2011 00:57:34 +0000

If it's the Amtrak that stops in Lima, Ohio at about 2:30 am, thumbs up. Fuck that train to fucking hell. Did you know that Amish people apparently never sleep? They never sleep and they got the motor mouth. Fucking train from hell. The only good thing was everyone sparking up in darkened observation car.

Wonkette : Virginia Attorney General Cuccinelli Wants To Have Sex With Osama

Thu, 5 May 2011 16:26:48 +0000

72 Virginians is my idea of hell.

Wonkette : A Children's Pizza Mascot and Ron Paul: Tomorrow's First GOP Presidential Debate

Wed, 4 May 2011 18:53:39 +0000

I hope everyone has been working hard on their fake southern accents!

gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Openly Partisan Organization Run By Loudmouth Kook Notes Other Openly Partisan Organization Run By L

Wonkette : BREAKING: POLITICO SCOOP: 'Politico' Makes Hilarious Error

Wonkette : Mitt Romney Plans To Win Michigan By Driving A Car

Wonkette : How Much Were These People Paid To Like Mitt Romney?

Wonkette : John Kasich Does An Excellent Parkinson's Disease Imitation

Wonkette : Is Monstrously Obese Chris Christie Even Too Fat For Republican Voters?

Wonkette : Republican Politician In Louisiana Will Obviously Not Resign For *His* Underwear Picture Sext

Wonkette : Teevee MILF Learned Hard, Gross Way Not To Sleep With NY Pols

Wonkette : To Stop Climate Change, GOP Suggests Clearing World's Rainforests

Wonkette : Jon Huntsman: D&D Nerd Who Played Keyboards In Band Called 'Wizard'

Wonkette : Here's a Video of Paul Ryan Pushing Grandma Off a Cliff

Wonkette : Glenn Beck Hanging Around Israel, Wearing Yarmulke

Wonkette : Arab Guy On Plane Scaring Wingnuts Probably Just Needed To Pee Really Bad

Wonkette : Topanga, Moesha, and Meghan McCain Naked On Rooftop

Wonkette : Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Brief History of a Show-Biz Republican

Wonkette : DRUDGE SIRENS: Arab Man On Plane Got Angry Or Something

Wonkette : Al Qaeda Confirms Bin Laden Death, Promises To Rob Trains Or Whatever

Wonkette : Al Qaeda Confirms Bin Laden Death, Promises To Rob Trains Or Whatever

Wonkette : Virginia Attorney General Cuccinelli Wants To Have Sex With Osama

Wonkette : A Children's Pizza Mascot and Ron Paul: Tomorrow's First GOP Presidential Debate

Wonkette : Republican Politician In Louisiana Will Obviously Not Resign For His Underwear Picture Sext