gdp's Comments

Womanist Musings : Sunday Shame: Literary Edition

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 23:52:04 +0000

Heh. Another V.C. Andrews reader here. I read bunches of them, until I got to "My Sweet Audrina," after which even my teenage mind couldn't stomach the content any more. :D I also loved the Dragonlance series, although never thought of it as shame reading at the time. I thought they were fantastic. Then, a few years ago, I thought I'd re-read them, since I'd loved them so . . . and discovered they were complete crap. They read like bad transcripts of someone's D&D gaming sessions (which is what I think they were, originally). My current "brain candy" is Janet Evanovich. They're not too shameful, but they're definitely fluffy. I also read "Twilight," just because everyone else was reading it, and I have to admit that I enjoyed it, even thought it was gawd-awful. :D

Womanist Musings : To My Darling

Wed, 6 May 2009 03:47:11 +0000

Happy Birthday, Destruction! And happy giving birth day to you, Renee! May this be the first day of a wonderful year for your beautiful son (and your entire family). :) Eight is so much fun.

Womanist Musings : This Is A Cougar

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:19:42 +0000

Thanks for this, Renee. I only heard the term for the first time fairly recently, and I knew that I didn't like it, and you've done a great job of articulating why. My sister actually called me a cougar a couple of weeks ago (jokingly, and she considers herself one, too, since her boyfriend is quite a bit younger than she is). She said it because my partner is 14 years younger than I am, but since she's a woman, that kind of goes against the "boy flesh" aspect of the comment. In any case, I knew that it bothered me when my sister said it; next time, I'll be able to explain to her why it's such an insulting term (and that she should probably stop using it to refer to herself, as well). One more thing is that I agree with those who feel cougars (the animals) are amazing. They're beautiful and powerful - so, from that standpoint, I wouldn't mind being likened to one. In fact, there have been times that I've thought of myself as "cougarish" in an entirely different context - as a fierce protector of my offspring (don't get between a cougar and her cubs). How this animal can be turned into an insulting slur against women is wrong in so very many ways.

Womanist Musings : It's A Post Racial and Post Feminist World

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:41:00 +0000

Well...I have to say, you must be doing/saying something right then I guess? Yes. This. Renee is definitely doing something right. :)

Womanist Musings : The Other Half Of The Choice

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:24:04 +0000

This is a beautiful post, Renee. Thank you. :) I can completely relate to what you said about being a parent. Few things in life have brought me more joy than my son, and I know that, even as a feminist, there is nothing "wrong" with the fact of my motherhood being a huge part of who I am. And there have been times when I felt others saw me as less for my decision to be a parent (in particular, the fact that I stayed home with my son rather than going back to work). Sometimes I even bought into that "less"ness, and felt a bit ashamed of being "just" a mom. Over the years, though, I have learned to take pride in being a mother. It's funny because lately I've been getting a lot of kudos for being a parent (a single parent, at that). I'm a full-time student, and I've had several people tell me how much they respect what I'm doing - going to school and getting high grades, and doing it while parenting my son. It doesn't really seem that remarkable to me. I work hard, but so do the vast majority of other people. It is nice, though, for people to notice, and apparently appreciate, that parenting is a worthwhile thing to be doing. It's so taken for granted in society most of the time.

Womanist Musings : On the Passing of Jett Travolta and the World’s Forgotten Children

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:05:40 +0000

Oh, ouch.Like Nia said, cleverly done. Thanks for that link.

Womanist Musings : Anne Coulter Bashes Michelle Obama In New Book

Sun, 4 Jan 2009 18:52:27 +0000

I often wonder if she actually believes this stuff herself or if she has just found her cash cow market and so goes with it. That's what I suspect. It is really hard for me to believe that Coulter actually believes the shit that comes out of her mouth (or out of her books). She's really so over-the-top as to be a caricature of herself. Her bullshit is too rabid to be believed. Then again, I guess there are plenty of people who eat it up, so maybe I'm naive in thinking a person couldn't really be as awful as she is. In any case, she is one of my least favorite people in all the world (which is saying something, when compared with the likes of GWB and my abusive alcoholic ex-father-in-law). I think maybe the only silver lining here is that I do believe a lot of people - even those who are otherwise conservative - realize that she is completely full of shit, and discount the things that she says. Then again, one of my friends tried to get me to read one of her books (I tried, but I simply couldn't do it). *sigh*

Womanist Musings : Racism From Generation To Generation

Sun, 4 Jan 2009 00:17:01 +0000

I saw that video yesterday, and am still fuming over it. Those parents are sorry excuses for human beings. The whole thing makes me so freaking mad, and the fact that anyone, anywhere could find that funny makes me feel like my head is going to explode. It starts the first time a child views a cartoonish image of a person of colour and it is not deconstructed, and explained as wrong by a parent . . . On an average day just in media viewing alone a child will see many negative examples of POC, and if a parent does not explain the historic inequalities between the races and how they came into existence, what is a child to think but that this is the natural course of events? This is so important, Renee. And, looking back at the way I've been raising my son, I've tried to do this, but haven't taken it far enough. There are things I've kept my son from watching because of negative stereotypes (the original Disney "Peter Pan," for example), and other times I've explained to him why something in a movie was really wrong (we had a lot of discussion after "Kung Fu Panda," about all the fat "humor"). But I know I haven't addressed all the times he's seen negative portrayals, not even close. This is a good reminder to me to be more diligent about that, especially now that he's getting older and being exposed to more things both at home and outside.

Womanist Musings : Stop Minding Anderson Coopers Business

Fri, 2 Jan 2009 05:02:50 +0000

Well, it would be nice if he came out because it would be another out prominent figure, kids need role models. I do agree with this, but I agree even more with the next part of your statement - that it's important for people to realize that gays and lesbians are regular every day people. I think, though, that celebrities coming out doesn't actually do much work towards that goal. That's up to those of us who *are* regular people, and choose to be out in at least some areas of our lives. I don't think my mother's opinion will be swayed if she finds out that someone on TV is gay, for example. She doesn't really have to stop and think how that makes her feel; she doesn't have a relationship with a newscaster that forces her to confront her prejudices. On the other hand, learning that her own daughter is a lesbian will most certainly have that effect. The more we are able to be open with the people who are actually in our lives, the more we can help those people understand that we really are just like everyone else. I think that's what will bring about true acceptance, slowly but surely. I hope so, anyway.

Womanist Musings : Happy New Year

Fri, 2 Jan 2009 02:04:35 +0000

Wishing you and your family a very Happy New Year, Renee! Thank you so much for writing this blog. This is my very favorite blog, and I learn something every time I come here. I look forward to reading everything you write here in 2009, and I'm planning to comment a bit more often. :) You have created a truly remarkable and wonderful space here.

The Jaded Hippy : Honoring my moon time

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 01:35:48 +0000

I completely agree with you about the DivaCup. Using one (for the past 2 years) has changed my relationship with my period, and with my body. I get hormone-related migraines, so that time of the month can be really awful for me, but I have managed to stop hating it, and I think that's actually helped with the migraines, as well as with my body image in general. Plus, I feel like I'm doing something healthy for myself and the environment by using the reusable cup. Great post. :) (here via WomanistMusings, btw).

Womanist Musings : Cocky

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:42:58 +0000

If I am destined to be the loose thread that unravels the gender of everyone around me then I am going to pull and pull and pull and pull and pull until everyone is exposed, till they all finally see that all along that they were merely wearing the emperor’s new clothes. I love this. And it strikes me as so very apt. Why is it that so many "straight" people feel at such risk for having their gender "unraveled?" I spent most of my life considering myself straight, but I never felt threatened by anyone else's sexuality. Just don't push it on me if I'm not interested, and we'll get along fine. (And, of course, the only people who have ever tried to push their sexuality on me are straight men. Why is it that I should feel afraid of any other group of people)? The only explanation I can come up with is that all these haters are so freaking insecure in their own sexuality, and hate that feeling so much, that they flail around for some way to feel better about themselves. I'd almost feel sorry for them - such self-loathing - except for the part where they terrorize innocent people. If they'd just realize that gender is not some set-in-stone binary, that most of the the cultural meanings and taboos it contains are just fictions forced on us by society and by patriarchal religions, all this would stop being a big deal. Not sure I see this happening anytime soon, though. :(

Womanist Musings : Don\'t Tell Me That You Know

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 07:03:56 +0000

I love that SO MUCH!!!!! Talk about speaking the truth! :)

Womanist Musings : Boo Yaa It\'s Period Time

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 07:50:03 +0000

I honestly don't remember how I learned. I did read "Are You There God . . . " so that might have been it. The fact that I don't remember probably means that it wasn't particularly traumatic for me. I have a vague memory of my first period coming when I was at home, and I guess my mom gave me a pad? Maybe it's strange that I DON'T remember. On the other hand, my son (who is ten) knows a fair amount about menstruation. We've never been particularly strict about privacy in the bathroom, so he's walked in and seen blood numerous times. At first, when he noticed (at maybe age six or seven), he was scared because he thought I was hurt, but I explained that it's normal. Now, even though he knows what is happening, he does seem to think it's icky. I think I'll try and gently get him away from that mindframe, and encourage him to think of it as a normal body function, without the "eww" factor. (Then again, part of his reaction might just be his way of teasing me. He does that, too, so maybe he's not quite as anti-period as he might let on). Funnily enough, even though he knew about menstruation, it became clear to me fairly recently that he had no idea what a vagina was. We were talking about something, and the topic turned to how babies are made, and he admitted that he knew about penises but not about vaginas. (So yeah, I ended up having THE talk with him. Hopefully, he isn't scarred for life by the possibly inept way I handled it). :D :D :D. I'm still not sure he has a definite idea about what a vagina is, but at least he knows now why the differences between male and female bodies exist. Oh, and another extremely satisfied DivaCup user here. I LOVE my DivaCup, and I really feel it's helped me have a better relationship with my own body, and to "appreciate" my periods better. Plus, tampons made me cramp; the DivaCup doesn't.

Womanist Musings : PUSSY

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:31:44 +0000

Wow. My eyes are damp, too, and second what ZoBabe said - Renee, you've been putting up some amazing poetry lately (and I, too, am not a "poetry" person, usually). I am definitely sharing this. Thank you!

Womanist Musings : All Children Are Not The Same

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:53:54 +0000

Renee, I'm not sure how to tell you how much this post has affected me, except to say thank you for writing it. I am heartbroken by the way your son - and so many other children - have been treated, and by the realization that I was shamefully oblivious to this for so long. Yet again, my WP let me go along merrily without acknowledging that this was happening, and that all children are not loved equally in the eyes of society. Yes, I was aware at some level, but it was so easy for me to ignore that, and just focus on my own little part of the world, my own family, my own son. Every single day you write something that helps me become even a tiny bit more aware (some days a lot more aware. This particularly eye-opening seems bigger than some). You are helping me be a better person, and you are making a difference in making the world a better place. Thank you. Oh, and I thought you might be interested in this (especially if your kids have watched "Avatar"), if you haven't already heard about it: http://viv.id.au/blog/?p=3016- (I wrote about it at my own blog, too).

Womanist Musings : Burger King Flame: All Women Want The Meat

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:51:31 +0000

That was wrong on so many levels. First, I had a hard time getting my head around the idea that anyone thinks flame-broiled burger-scented cologne is a good idea. DISGUSTING! Then, the ad itself. *shudders in horror* I know this is just anecdotal evidence, but I'm not going to be leaving my girlfriend for someone who smells like a hamburger.

Womanist Musings : Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler Campbell

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 05:42:45 +0000

I think you're right that the parents are loving this attention, but I still agree with what the store did. Really, for the parents to request "Adolf Hitler Campbell" tells me that they were trying to get a reaction. Who puts their child's full name on a birthday cake? I certainly never asked for more than my son's first name. In spite of the fact that the dad claims to be surprised that the names are causing trouble, I think he knew exactly how his request would be received. Yes, the child is being punished, but it's the parents who need to take responsibility for that - for using their children as pawns, without regard to their well-being. Just my opinion, of course. :)

Womanist Musings : The Easy Bake Oven In My Vagina: The Role Of The Good Mother

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:59:28 +0000

Another thing that bothered me about that quote, or rather, the idea that we should be able to "simply not purchase parents magazines" is that a lot of younger mothers don't feel they have anywhere else to go for advice, and end up using those as their primary sources. Which I think is a very bad idea. I'm a middle-class white woman - the target audience for that crap - and even so I felt alienated by the messages in those magazines, and the disturbingly strict edicts about how parenting should be done. (Things like how your child will be harmed if you don't make her cry herself to sleep, or how co-sleeping is VERY BAD, and a bunch of other things that just didn't sit well with me). I'm strong-willed enough that I decided to go with what made sense to me, instead of just blindly following this very narrow path being advised by the parenting "industry" in the U.S. Not everyone has the resources to do this, though. (And I know that the things I didn't agree with might work for other moms. I'm not criticizing anyone who makes different choices. I think the important thing, though, is that I actually made choices, instead of following someone else's advice because I felt too insecure as a parent to make decisions for my family by myself). Also, Renee, this article really made me look at my WP. Like I said, I find those parenting standards offensive, and they're not all that far off from what I would consider my "cultural norm." I'd never really thought before about how that must feel for WOC, or lesbians, or others who don't fit that "white and middle class" category. Thank you.

Womanist Musings : The Easy Bake Oven In My Vagina: The Role Of The Good Mother

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:50:36 +0000

There definitely seems to be a bias towards SAHMs in many schools. I think I might go a bit further and say that whether the bias is for SAHMs or working parents, what I've noticed more than a bias towards one or the other, is a lot of tension between the two. At my son's elementary school, I had an experience recently at a PTA meeting which I think is a good example. We were talking about what hours to hold a holiday "marketplace" event, to make sure it was the most convenient, and one of the moms was really adamant that it should start after 5 or 6 o'clock, because working moms wouldn't be able to go until then. I had to point out (nicely, I hope), that by starting at 3.00 instead (and running until well after the 6.00 point where working parents could also attend), we would make it convenient for those parents who did stay home, and would be on campus anyway, picking their children up at the end of the school day. By pushing back the start time until 5.00, it would mean all those parents would have to make a special trip. She did agree that what I said made sense, but it seemed clear that, in her mind, she felt she had to "fight" for her rights as a working mom, even when it didn't make sense logistically to do it the way she suggested. I am really tired of this "competition." Staying home and working are both valid choices, and should be given equal respect. But the two groups end up pitted against one another, which hurts everyone in the process. (For the record, I'm not really in either category. I'm a single mom who is a full-time student. So, I'm not a SAH, but I do have a lot of flexibility in my schedule, so I have time to volunteer in the classroom and things like that. I know that I am EXTREMELY fortunate in this).