en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/522204 Comments by Wayne_C_Allen http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/02/13/5-ways-learn-trust/#IDComment292366940 Hi Ray, Nice hearing from you. Most of this stuff is just about getting up in the morning and starting. You get to stop when you die. I remember clients getting quite angry about having to continue to "do it." I just remember how little I enjoy what happens when I stop paying attention! Warmly, W Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:53:29 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/02/13/5-ways-learn-trust/#IDComment292366940 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/02/13/5-ways-learn-trust/#IDComment292365848 Hey amigo, Nice hearing from you! Missing being in Costa Rica... a lot! Imagining you mean the captions under the photos - will change that! Trusting you are well, and enjoying newly married life! Warmly, W Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:51:39 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/02/13/5-ways-learn-trust/#IDComment292365848 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/02/06/play-dumb-hold-ground/#IDComment286603775 Hey William, Well, that's good news! Trusting you'll "get out of Dodge" at precisely the right moment, and take this time to appreciate the goodbyes. They're precious! Wayne Tue, 7 Feb 2012 23:53:23 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/02/06/play-dumb-hold-ground/#IDComment286603775 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/11/28/passionate-engaging-2/#IDComment272312173 Hi Ryan, Most people expect intimacy to "just happen" - and are surprised to discover that it takes effort, focus, and persistence, esp. at those moments when there is conflict. Glad you found the article helpful! Wayne Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:43:20 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/11/28/passionate-engaging-2/#IDComment272312173 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2007/05/07/the-top-5-ways-to-get-your-act-together/#IDComment254185263 Thanks, Shane. No point doing otherwise! Tue, 3 Jan 2012 22:13:41 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2007/05/07/the-top-5-ways-to-get-your-act-together/#IDComment254185263 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/01/02/zen-reflections-2012/#IDComment254011125 I remember talking with her at your party some moons ago! I'll check the site. Still not sure what we're doing, but enjoying the not knowing. Nice to hear from you - assuming you are well and life is swimming along. Let's do coffee sometime Love n hugs, w Tue, 3 Jan 2012 18:44:59 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2012/01/02/zen-reflections-2012/#IDComment254011125 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/26/chairman-contented/#IDComment249491310 hey Danette - I'm enjoying reading YOUR blog. seems to me that when I'm present and breathing, boredom never occurs. and issues with holidays seems to be about reality not matching expectations - once one is willing to accept what is, that one goes away too! huge rainbow over the lake in front of our casita. reality is grand, and so is hearing from you! Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:18:21 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/26/chairman-contented/#IDComment249491310 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/19/10-kilometer-hike-teach-life/#IDComment242843042 Looking forward to meeting you and working with you. Hot springs are a bit away from here, but reachable! Warmly, W Tue, 20 Dec 2011 19:34:02 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/19/10-kilometer-hike-teach-life/#IDComment242843042 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2010/01/18/disillusionment/#IDComment238458229 Your comment reminded me of sending people (and myself... and Darbella) off to The Haven for personal development training. They come home and experience what you are describing, and I'd remind them that they, not their loved ones, signed on for the new learning. I suggest to my clients that this kind of work often requires a change of friends / spouses, etc., as the "contract has changed." I'll add your idea to my list of articles to write - thanks for the suggestion! Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:20:54 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2010/01/18/disillusionment/#IDComment238458229 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment238441677 Hi Cassandra, I guess it's all about integrity, one of my favourite words. It's easy to get into a discussion re. problems in the world (I certainly still get caught in this) - but it's like when the Buddha was asked questions about god or reincarnation. He'd refuse to talk about it, as talking about issues solves nothing. He'd simply wonder about the person's actual practice. So, I guess the best we can do is to act from our centre. Back when Dar was teaching, she spearheaded anti-bullying stuff at her school (part of her job was guidance) and also is deeply into "Save the Children" so she spearheaded that too. She acted from her values, and didn't worry about those who didn't get it. I guess part of this is learning to act proactively, and let go of thinking there is conflict - there isn't so long as I refuse to dance to that tune. Warmly, Wayne Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:57:33 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment238441677 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment237105585 Hey Brad, Nice hearing from you! Trusting all is well in BC. Working through some thinking on political vs. personal, and how important it is to find our ground by, in a sense, knowing our location - this is what I am doing here, now. Interesting focus, esp. so far from "home." Big hug, W Tue, 13 Dec 2011 22:49:24 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment237105585 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment237021315 Hi Sarah, I think Darbella rolls her eyes occasionally, too! ;-) I find the "Why am I doing this?" moments are fewer. I write because... well... I write. Pretty simple when my ego chooses to stay out of it. Costa Rica is great - still no clear view of January and beyond (other than we're returning to Canada in January... yikes) and are both recharging our batteries. If you ever have a specific question you'd like me to write about, drop me an e-mail. Warmly, Wayne Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:59:26 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment237021315 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment236998183 Hey Jeannine, See ? That was easy! ;) Glad you're appreciating the writing. I enjoy writing, mostly, and intend to keep going as long as there are readers. If you have questions or article ideas, feel free to leave a comment here or drop me an e-mail. Warmly, Wayne Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:57:17 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment236998183 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment236998132 Hi William, It really is difficult to believe that we can shift our perspective - which is why I mentioned the depression cycle I was in from 1978 to the late 90s. I could trigger myself into a full-blown depression, and I didn't believe that there was an alternative. Now that I realize that my disposition is "baseline melancholy," (as opposed to "Happy," whatever that is) as I sadden myself I know I can just be sad for a bit, and then ask, "Is there anything specifically I can do right now to shift this?" For example, I just say with Darbella, and we talked a bit about the future, Canada, and Costa Rica. We've decided to go back to Canada in late June, and "see what we can build." I noticed some sadness that I don't have a real plan, and it passed and there's nothing I can do about January, so I got up, and am writing to you! There's something productive and hopefully helpful I can do, right now. As it is with you. You might "live with regret," but you're never required to "live in regret." After all, you have a new wife and kids to interact with, and you can bridge the distance to your other kids by going to see them. Nothing helpless about any of it! Warmly, Wayne Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:57:08 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/12/12/theft-values/#IDComment236998132 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/11/14/intimacy-passion/#IDComment222413802 hey Sally, Thanks for the comment. Just did a "chat" last night with a friend who is convinced that leaving the country, dumping her husband, hooking up with the tour guide she met in Italy, and living in Italy will cure all her ills. She hasn't painted in 10 years, and apparently this move will cure that, too. *sigh* Anyway, keep the focus on the present, and on you, and you're 99% there! Lovely in Costa Rica! having a blast. Tue, 15 Nov 2011 17:02:49 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/11/14/intimacy-passion/#IDComment222413802 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2007/07/09/when-tempted-to-blame-propose-self-responsible-solutions/#IDComment220953278 Thanks, William, Most of my work for 30 years has been living and teaching 100% self-responsibility. I'm just re-doing the Bodywork section on my site, and noticing how much it also reflects this way of being - as in, what's happening physically is also all about us. Glad you found the article useful, and thanks for sending others. Sat, 12 Nov 2011 16:16:15 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2007/07/09/when-tempted-to-blame-propose-self-responsible-solutions/#IDComment220953278 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/10/17/words/#IDComment209238475 Hi Isabel, Just thinking about you! Glad you're finding the articles helpful. I'm always glad to do "dialogue" via e-mail. I've enjoyed getting to know you, too! Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:42:24 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/10/17/words/#IDComment209238475 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/10/10/significant-important/#IDComment206571266 Why, thanks! Coming for a visit any time soon? Wed, 12 Oct 2011 17:30:51 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/10/10/significant-important/#IDComment206571266 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/10/03/update-plans-process/#IDComment203709228 thanks! We're getting excited! Thu, 6 Oct 2011 04:21:48 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2011/10/03/update-plans-process/#IDComment203709228 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2007/11/12/10-quick-examples-of-zen-living/#IDComment194581641 There's something empowering about speaking from where you are, without the "Background stories / chatter." Good for all of us to remember! Sat, 17 Sep 2011 21:30:45 +0000 http://www.phoenixcentre.com/blog/2007/11/12/10-quick-examples-of-zen-living/#IDComment194581641