31 comments posted · 19 followers · following 0

9 years ago @ The Toast - Shock and Awe High Sch... · 0 replies · +3 points

Can I ask where in Germany you were? I was in Frankfurt for 2001-2004, and there was nothing like that stomach-churning drop when a "permanent" substitute rolled into your science class and you realized your teacher had been called up for active duty. Or having sandwiches at a friend's house on base, one parent conspicuously absent, and the whole family trying to ignore the reports rolling in from AFN in the next room, pretending they were much more interested in "Rat Race" playing on TV in German.

People think that if you weren't stationed directly in the Middle East, you didn't feel the impact of the war. They're wrong.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Adaptational Discrepan... · 0 replies · +1 points

Wait, what? If somebody had told me that I might have read the damn thing!

10 years ago @ The Toast - How To Make Sure You G... · 0 replies · +25 points

Pro-tip: If your candy kebab is all marshmallow and chocolate, it can ALSO be used as a schanpps-stirrer! Delicious melted alcoholic chocolate and marshmallow for everyone!

10 years ago @ The Toast - How To Make Sure You G... · 1 reply · +36 points

Bonus: You get to skip out on cleaning up after, so you can achieve full catatonia on the sofa as you enter fat and happy hibernation.

10 years ago @ The Toast - How To Make Sure You G... · 3 replies · +87 points

-The traditional post-Thanksgiving sandwich is not complete until it has more layers than a Byzantine archeological dig

-If someone brings out a plate of vegetables to dip in cheese fondue alongside the bread, slap them across the face for the insult and then kiss them for their sweet innocence

-Candy canes are best used as the foundation for candy kebabs. When there is no more candy left, a sharpened candy cane is handy tool to poke anyone who might suggest you've had enough to eat.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Femslash Friday: I'll ... · 0 replies · +35 points

Yes, yes, Kaylee/Inara, delicious wonderful perfection, the crunchy spicy tuna roll of Firefly relationships, my first sexy fanfiction, my last sexy fanfiction, of course, of course.


“You damned brute. You awful, dirty, monstrous ape of a man, you [pounds ineffectually on chest with fists]. I hate you. I simply can’t stand you” and “Shut your pretty mouth [rough kiss]”

A whole vast new universe has unfolded before me.

Also, this dialogue makes me think of "Get your hands off me, you damned dirty ape!" from the Planet of the Apes musical on the Simpsons, which in turn has made me contemplate how sad it was we never got a musical Firefly episode. Especially one with an achingly sad/sexy/yearning romantic quartet between Inara/Kaylee/Jayne/Simon, while Mal sits on the bridge singing "The Lonesome Ballad of Captain Tightpants." Wash could get the Donald O'Conner number, Zoe a torch song about guns and war, and River the Act Three Ballet. Book is the Emcee. Wait I think this started out as sort of a joke but now I really want this.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Happy Birthday, Joni M... · 3 replies · +15 points

"Both Sides Now" is one of those songs that only comes together for me when you can listen to both versions. (Like The Beatles 'Eleanor Rigby' vs Aretha Franklin's kickass reclaimation.)1970 Joni is feeling all jaded and heartbroken after some young tragic romance, and then 2000 Joni is looking back at her younger self's sweet presumption that she knew all about love and heartbreak when she still has so much to learn, and the tone is almost affectionate but also deeply sad. You can hear the all the age and wisdom she's accrued in her voice, and the string orchestration is so much more melancholy than the original's light guitar.


10 years ago @ The Toast - The Rise and Fall of F... · 1 reply · +8 points

Or in the Berenstain Bears, how all their friends had normal names like Lizzy or Fred but the kids were Brother Bear and Sister Bear, and addressed as such by their peers/teachers/other anthropomorphized bears.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Femslash Friday: Ann a... · 0 replies · +17 points

I was literally all BUT BEN and then I read this: "And then Ann would look up and smile softly and Leslie would be like, “What?” and Ann would say, “Nothing. Just you.” " and my heart curled up like a kitten on a hot water bottle and I was undone.

10 years ago @ The Toast - Promiser's Remorse: Fa... · 0 replies · +6 points


(Sorry I'm contactually obligated to do that anytime I hear the word 'rampion' what were we talking about)