I am so delighted that you're making this happen, Manka!
My dear, dear Toasties. My life will be quieter and less witches without your wit and wisdom. Like so many of us, I've grown stronger and more courageous with the support and advice of this community.
It's rare enough to find one person who understands you, but to find a community made entirely of such people and to get to live with them online for three whole years is an impossibly wonderful gift. Thank you to Mallory, Nicole, Nikki, Roxane, and everyone who has written on The Toast either as a contributor or a commenter. The universe shines brighter for having you in it. I love you.
See you on the other shore.
And now I'm weeping. This is amazing. Thank you.
My first threesome was because I was attending a kink convention with friends. Two of us had hooked up earlier in the day, and then another came back to their room, and, well, one thing led to another... That's pretty much the only spontaneous threesome I've ever had, though. I have since had threesomes and foursomes with those lovely people by emailing each other "So...games night this Friday?"
My favorite threesome ever was organized between two of my current partners. Although they'd heard of each other and had several mutual friends, they hadn't met when I first suggested in a wistful voice to each of them that they would be great co-tops. Then they met, got on like a house on fire, and told me they were in. I sent them a list of what I definitely wanted and didn't want, and they met ahead of time to conspire. (They tell me there are flowcharts of their schemes, which they won't let me see in case we're all in the same city again and get to reprise this scene. I love my beautiful nerds.) We got a hotel room for not-bothering-housemates purposes. It was easily one of my most memorable and enjoyable sexcapades ever.
So I guess go to kink conventions and/or date cool people who are into group sex?
I recently reread Homeward Bounders and it absolutely holds up as an adult. It deals with loneliness and losing place you call home, which if anything is more heartbreaking as an adult than as a kid.
I'm going to visit my partner and my friends in Georgia! I'll be meeting my partner's parents for the first time, which is exciting but nerve-wracking, as that type of visit always is. But both weekends I'm there will have excellent dance events hosted by friends of mine, including a sci-fi themed blues dance party I'll be helping to host. I'm going as Jadzia Dax so that I can be a recognizable character even when the Georgia heat forces me to remove clothing.
I was also through the Hairpin! It took me until that site fell off a cliff, but then The Toast quickly felt more like home than the Pin ever did.
And now I'm weeping in my cubicle at work again. Thank you for sharing this.
Moment #1: uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. You can't tell through visual examination if a person has had sex, even penetrative sex. You're 27 years old, so odds are so, so high that your hymen has already torn anyway. Virginity is a social construct, not a scientific one (see: all of the people who have oral sex or anal sex who consider themselves virgins because they haven't had PIV sex). But all of that is actually irrelevant here: having an IUD inserted is no more a sexual act than putting in a tampon. Choosing to have a medical device inserted into you is not a sexual act; it cannot take away your virginity. When the OB-GYN asks, you should not have to lie; you can absolutely get an IUD without ever having had penetrative sex. I'd only consider lying if this is the only place you can get the IUD inserted.
Moment #2: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. Tell this jerk's boss. You're right that it's incredibly rude. If he gets in trouble, that's fine. It was his decision to act unprofessionally; he should bear the consequences of that decision.