55 comments posted · 2 followers · following 0

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Timely New Report: Bus... · 0 replies · +7 points

So, does this mean that since he had already left office Richard Nixon did not really require a pardon from Gerald Ford? Because once you're out of office, hahahaha, you've gotten away with violating "acts" of Congress, which are akin to "laws," which are vaguely related to "rules," which morph into "suggestions" and "best practices." As it turns out, the Hatch Act is kind of like brushing your teeth, a good thing to follow but nobody's going to make you perp walk if you don't. Looking forward, not back, to a time when accountability and rule of law will have become quaint, and Lee Atwater will come back from the dead and crash in your spare bedroom and diddle your wife.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Will Obama's Hair Plea... · 1 reply · +6 points

I say Obamer gets a Cornell West 'do.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Woman Getting Shot Thr... · 1 reply · +14 points

Hey, Jesse, why not schedule another teabagger campaign event where paunchy teabaggers shoot an assault rifle? Who can forget your pimp-release?

"Get on Target for Victory in November Help remove Gabrielle Giffords from office Shot a fully automatic M15 with Jesse Kelly."

Which goes to show you don't know your weapons... or your spelling... or your punctuation.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Bristol Palin's Facebo... · 1 reply · +8 points


They'll conjugate, conceive and have a strapping Aryan son and name him: Bling.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Sarah Palin Never Existed · 0 replies · +8 points

Just wait for their sequel, which also takes place in a church. The frisky couple baptizes an aborted fetus while singing about Sarah to the tune of the "Old Rugged Cross."

13 years ago @ Wonkette - As Obama Signs DADT Re... · 0 replies · +4 points

I think McCain's taken to gobbling Percocets by the handful from Cindy's stash.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Census Allocates 6 Mor... · 0 replies · +6 points

The Good: Idaho does not gain seats.
The Bad: Does Ron Paul have any other kids?
The Ugly: Russell Pearce or Jan Brewer crash Congress from Arizona.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - AFA's Bryan Fischer: '... · 0 replies · +6 points

Obama's new tome: Bury My Heart at Wounded Lip.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - AFA's Bryan Fischer: '... · 1 reply · +36 points

I like this trend. I think Obama should be the new Redskins' QB.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Newt Gingrich Can't St... · 0 replies · +4 points

This Dawn Rizos is extremely clever and moderately hot. Because she might be capable of inspiring a nocturnal emission from Newt, there's no way Newt would ever tell her he was divorcing her while she was in the hospital with the Big C.

And her PR guy is the exquisitely named Michael Precker. Out.