For some reason, I hear Peter Stormare instead.

The band The Crystal Method
Me: Wait, that's a drug reference? What kind of drug is a "crystal"? Is there some special way you have to take it, and that's what "method" means? Which is weird, because if you were going to work a drug pun in there you could just use "meth"...

OH OK I GET IT NOW

I don't know how the rest of you feel about the new Prudie

She is my favorite, and I want to invite her to brunch and gossip with her while we drink too many mimosas. Is that weird? I hope it's not weird.

If you're insecure enough to want to specifically pick someone you find unattractive so that your sex partner won't possibly pick the other person, you should not be having a threesome, you are not ready.

If we take the husband at face value, I agree completely.

But it occurred to me there's another possible explanation: the husband might be looking to have a sexual encounter with his old friend in a way that's totally not gay at all, nope, we're all straight here! And of course that's also pretty far from healthy--seeking to use your partner as a very literal middle party in working out some tension in your own identity might be okay, but only if everyone involved explicitly acknowledges that's what's going on. In this context, though, it looks like a recipe for disaster.

I have mixed feelings.

First, your partner's psychiatrist is... not right. My adult ADHD diagnosis came from a psychiatrist, and it's typically conceived of as a behavioral disorder rather than a neurological one.

Second, my ADHD is comorbid with depression (MDD) and anxiety (GAD), and it was very difficult for me to find medication for ADHD that didn't exacerbate one of the other issues.(Because ADHD drugs are stimulants that act on your central nervous system, nervousness, irritability, trouble sleeping, etc. are really common side effects.)

After about eight very uncomfortable months, I ended up on a low dose of Adderall XR, which I took 3-4 days a week for about a year. But that didn't help nearly as much as finding a very good therapist (LMHC) did; she was able to help me find tools to handle time and task management, and we also worked on some cognitive-behavioral stuff for dealing with the anxiety.

So I'd emphasize that aspect first. If your partner decides also to seek an ADHD diagnosis, it'll be a good adjunct--and it'll also make a big difference in the frustrating phase where her her medication is being calibrated.

(Hopefully this makes sense and is useful... it's not something I'm accustomed to talking about, so apologies if it came out rough.)

So... I'm thoroughly enjoying the thread. But I'm the villain in my own Worst Ex story.

We started dating at 17 and divorced at 24. I was a stupid and inexperienced kid for most of the relationship, with some very strange and naive ideas about what relationships and commitment meant. And for most of that time I was trying to find ways to deal with an anxiety disorder that didn't actually involve, y'know, acknowledging it. Oh, and I was periodically unemployed. Oh, and while I was technically faithful, I was also in love with my best friend for pretty much our entire marriage.

I'm pretty sure signing the divorce papers amicably was the best thing either of us ever did for the other.

I only made it to paid family leave before I had to take a break and fume for a few minutes. How did we get to Twenty Fifteen and we don't get that maybe a new parent needs more than our current cultural standard of ZERO TIME with a new baby before either the parent or the baby is ready to do without the other?

...why yes, I *am* fun at parties. Why do you ask?

"Also, I don't know what exactly he was trying to get everyone else at the table to do that caused the Thanksgiving fight..."

That's the catch, I think. I've experienced three kinds of prayer at extended family gatherings. The first is a sort of perfunctory, vague wave at any supernatural power who happens to be passing by--a twenty-second "Heavenly Father, bless this food we are about to eat, and we thank you for conducting everyone here safely. Amen." It's hard for me to take genuine exception to that.

Another kind is exactly what you describe--someone who is interested in praying by/for himself or leading a group of people who's interested. I don't take offense there, either, and it sort of alarms me when other atheists do.

But the last kind is specifically aimed at "winning" by getting the unchurched to participate in a prayer. My type example for this was a long time ago, eating with a friend's family in South Carolina. The friend's atheism was a source of conflict with her mother, and before anyone was allowed to eat dinner, Momma insisted that each of the people at the table take their turn praying aloud for someone they knew to "turn toward the Lord before it's too late." (The rest of the meal was exactly as warm and welcoming as you'd expect from that prologue.)

So the aunt in the story could have been entirely in the wrong, as you say, or she could have been protecting her guests from someone who was angling for a chance to stand on the soapbox.

Note to my high-school-era self: #8 IS NOT HOW YOU CONDUCT HEALTHY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.

No kidding. This is one of my son's favorites right now, but it might get *accidentally* pushed behind the other books on the shelf until I manage to stuff Mallory's version down the memory hole.

I mean, well done Mallory, but, uh... I'm just going to sit here in my office with all the lights on and my jacket on and think about alive things.