IntenseDebate - VINRYAN

14 years ago @ zimmer3 - Through the Looking Lens · 0 replies · +1 points

I agree with Jennifer. I thought your essay was very well written and your point is clear. I also agree that a little more info on the authors goal would really help this essay. Your "voice" comes through very well in this essay but a little more fact to back up how you feel would would go a long ways. I think your writings are very good, you have a knack for showing the personal side of what you write (which isn't easy). Your papers are not just a regurgitation of the book, which is nice. Good Job.

14 years ago @ megs - Who Belongs Where · 0 replies · +1 points

Megan,
I enjoyed your essay. It was well written and had a good flow to it. I like the way you considered Said's essay under the scope of Hirsch's Projected Memory. I was a little confused about your statement of Lorie Novak. I don't think she risked her life to save those children. I think she placed herself in the picture of those children to show that they will always be entwined in who she is. Their past and their memories will shape her future and be a part of her memories. I don't think she was alive at the time that they went through what they did. Overall very good job and thanks, for commenting on my essay.

14 years ago @ rabbot - Identity · 0 replies · +1 points

Stuart,
I thought your essay was excellent. I like the sources you quote. It has great flow and is very informative. Your essay gave me a new perspective on Said's essay and was very well done. The only two nit-picky things I can come up with that would make your essay better are: I was confused by this quote “I have been told. I grew up in Egypt, then came to the United States as a student” (Said p 385). This quote is actually a part of two sentences. "I have been told" refers to who had lived in his house after they had left. I don't see how that helps your argument that Said remembers little of his time in Palestine and the second really nit-picky thing is you use the phrase "bring fourth" twice in your third paragraph. I think that should be "bring forth". I told you they were nit-picky!!!!
Very Good Job, Stuart.

14 years ago @ Hello World! - The Child Witness and ... · 0 replies · +1 points

If anyone wonders, I have changed my paper after the first 2 comments. I fully agree with both comments and have thus changed my paper.

14 years ago @ Hello World! - Photographs and Memories · 0 replies · +1 points

Thanks Stuart,
For some reason when I got to the part of the directions that said "feel free to draw from your earlier writings" My mind went blank and I forgot what the assignment actually was. Although I had read the directions, that last statement, in my mind meant optional which I realize (now) was wrong.

14 years ago @ rabbot - The marriage of words ... · 0 replies · +1 points

I would have to say that your first essay was very heavy on what Hirsch had to say but a little light on "your own words and opinion". Your first essay was loaded with quotes from the Hirsch text and it was hard to decipher where her thoughts ended and yours began. This essay seems to be more of your thoughts and explanation of what Agee and Evans were trying to accomplish in your opinion. It is hard (for me at least) to have the right blend of what the original text was about and to somehow mingle in my own thoughts and feelings. I think you did a great job telling us what the original essay was about while still seperating itself from the original. I think this essay tells us more what YOU think the text was saying as opposed to what it actually said. I need to work on the fact that this isn't so much about what is right and what is wrong, it is more about the interpretation, like you said. This essay has much more of YOUR interpretation.

14 years ago @ zimmer3 - Pictures, Text, and th... · 0 replies · +1 points

Matt,
I like your essay. It has given me another way to look at the essay. When I read the essay I was trying to figure out what they were trying to do , not what their piece was doing to the reader. It seemed to me that Agee actually got a bit sidetracked by Emma. It was almost as if he was telling you about this family as an observer only, but as he describes Emma he actually places himself in the story. He never mentions his conversations with the other people, you know he must have had them, but somehow his unusual writing style was abandoned with Emma. She must have made a big impression on him. When I reread Let Us Now Praise Famous Men I will definately keep your perpective in mind. Good Job.

14 years ago @ rabbot - The marriage of words ... · 2 replies · +1 points

Stuart,
I think you did a great job on this essay. It definately has more of a personal feel than your previous one. I feel that you explained the text and your feelings very well. I thought that you had a great flow to your essay, each point led directly to the next. You had a good conclusion and I think you supported it well. I can not think of a way to make your essay any better than it is right now. I find reviewing others essays harder than doing my own. If I knew what would make your essay better, or what would make you a better writer, I would have much more confidence in my own. I think you did a great job, whatever that means. :)

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