gdp's Comments

Becky Castle Miller : What I'm Reading

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 22:43:37 +0000

Stayed up after midnight to finish an e-book called "The Frog Prince's Daughters." The author had described her work on her blogs as based on fairy tales, light on setting with a touch of romance. That sounded familiar enough that I bought one to see how she pulled it off. I've actually been feeling guilt and condemnation in my reading/writing lately. Like however I spend my time is robbing from something else. I had to work really hard to sit and read, and maybe that was why I kept going till I finished the story: I was afraid I wouldn't start again for too long.

Becky Castle Miller : How To Get Help For Depression

Sun, 6 Mar 2011 03:46:12 +0000

Speaking of unqualified counselors... http://bit.ly/hl25ZJ

Becky Castle Miller : My iPhone Gave Me Away

Tue, 1 Mar 2011 02:37:37 +0000

Oh, and J never wanted me to test w/o him present so "telling" him was never an issue.

Becky Castle Miller : My iPhone Gave Me Away

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 22:43:31 +0000

I'm excited for you and thankful for your gift.

Becky Castle Miller : Reliant on Language

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 18:54:25 +0000

I've "started" both German and Spanish, and dabbled with French, but American Sign Language is the one I've practiced enough to actually think in. I believe it comes down to the personal aspect. I know deaf people, I used to go have lunch at the Deaf Community Center, where talking with your mouth full was normal-- really the only time you *could* talk, b/c your hands are empty. (I still fall into that sometimes.) I was most motivated to learn Spanish the week I lived in a hotel in New Mexico and kept running into the housekeeping ladies (I was "home" all day with a 1-year-old). When there is someone I see as isolated, I want to help or understand better, because I've so often had that feeling. That is my big epiphany this year: emotion as a motivator. When I want to learn something it is because I *feel* a connection to the information (or the application of that information). I think this is why never stuck it out in a university environment to learn a language. I'm intellectually piqued by the concept of languages, but other than South Korean and Burmese moms (who value my input as an English wordsmith) I don't have cross-cultural interaction, and it's hard to stay motivated in empirical language study in the midst of all my other interests. One thing I've thought of doing is getting a Spanish copy of the first Harry Potter book (just b/c that's the common book I've seen at used-book stores) and work through that w/ an English version. If nothing else I'd expect it to expand my vocabulary, and maybe I'd absorb some "principles" if not nail down the "rules."

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/reflections.html/ : Post

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 02:30:01 +0000

I'm so glad you brought up moving out of state w/ your therapist. Before I got to that part of your post I was already framing to comment in my head. Moving to AK is a *huge* step, and even commitment, since once you've gotten here it's hard to leave (emotionally as well as physically, people tell me), but I think setting in your mind to move out of state is a very healthy thing. Checking onto reciprocity and re-licensing could be a way to check or decide where you could move, and then (you already know this) checking for job openings in those states. I'm so thankful you've got a firm grasp on your financial situation and personal boundaries. It seems to me this house was a warning of what your future will look like if you continue where you are. As for Geico, I know we have one in town (I imagine they're in most towns) but I don't know if they're big enough to employ their own lawyers. We have a handful of small firms, at least one specifically for accedent claims. At least, that's how they advertise. I'm glad you got a chance to talk with your sec. I always feel so helpless when I see someone hurting and don't know how to start them toward health. We are so limited by their own willingness to acknowledge and invest in health. Praying wisdom for you!

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/reflections.html/ : Post

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 02:19:47 +0000

Eh. Not Anchorage. Fairbanks.

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/reflections.html/ : Post

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 22:05:43 +0000

Oh my goodness. I totally replied to this (I thought!) but now it's not here. And I don't remember what I said! *sigh*. Came over to comment on the house you mentioned in my comments, but I can't tell from here which house that might be. Anyway, I'm excited for you.

Becky Castle Miller : Twinkle Twinkle: Meet Sascha

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 22:02:19 +0000

The soundtrack of Man From Snowy River made me want to play french horn as a kid. Then my mom said there were loads of french horn players, and I never picked one up. The leader of my independent homeschoolers group advocates parents learning a new instrument while homeschooling. She says it reacquaints the teacher with the frustrations of learning that they have so-long been removed from. That it provides a relevant empathy. My instruments are guitar, piano and recorder. All with a short attention span: I've probably never spent more than an hour a week on any of them, and usually much less. With long absences. But here is the advantage of music being an undertoe in the household: 20 years of dabbling and I can pick out a simple tune, transpose and accompany by cords. And it clearly works a different part of my brain-- maybe the part that processes poetry and hand-spinning (i.e. fiber arts). I don't have much of an attention span for any of them, but they all are soothing and I'd miss them if they were gone. p.s. I'd love to pick up a lap-harp and learn to play that. They seem so much more beautiful, poetic and appropriate for storytelling. My piano is electric, my guitar a *wonderful* (but highly unromantic) Rainsong, and one can't sing or tell while playing a recorder. Every now and then one comes up on Craigslist and I dream.

Becky Castle Miller : One Word 2010: Drudgery

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 07:42:11 +0000

I doubt I could give one word for anything. But I love the concept. I love it's simplicity and the idea of focus. For me the "drudgery" has everything to do with Perceived Value. Not just "from the culture" but from myself. Before I was trying to live gluten free, I was (albeit secretly) convinced that a combination of television, McDonalds and generally out-sourced parenting (e.g. daycare, public school) could replace me. I was not necessary because my family could survive (with much smaller emptier lives, but survive) without me. I was affronted by that. So one of my "guilts" when I accepted the "diagnosis" of a gluten intolerance was *Here's a way* to be indispensable (guilt because part of my mind asked the other part if I really believed and what was my motivation in taking this on). The main thing that helps me work the drudgery is tying it to my sense of mastery (one of my deep values/motivators). As in, I, too, do not feel like I excel at home management, so when I get it right I get a surge of pleasure out of that. One thing that helps is active using it as down-time. As in, I know that cleanliness helps me relax. I also like to spend a great deal of time listening to music, and (increasingly with the stress of my real life maxing-out my healthy-adrenaline time) Novel reading or writing is too demanding. Putting those together is currently my scaffolding for building motivation to work on the house. A few links (if you accept them as worth keeping up): A poem I dwell on to lift my spirits when I feel weary of my work. An observation that put boredom in perspective for me And my absolutely favoritest title in the world: How to become a saint while changing diapers. In conclusion I want to make sure you've heard the (famous?) G.K. Chesterton quote on being a homemaker. But I will paraphrase: I will pity a mother that her task is too large. I will never pity her for it being too small.

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/the_bluestocking_guide/book_reviews/book_reviews.html/ : Post

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 21:41:45 +0000

Me too.

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/the_bluestocking_guide/belles-lettres/belles-lettres.html/ : Post

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 19:20:06 +0000

To answer your tweeted question: Because on some level we all know a marriage of equals is the realest and deepest-- so by comparing ourselves to angels (vicariously) we are play in the same familiar fantasy that we, at least, are above the mere tripe of mortal race. After all, why else would someone this fill-in-the-blank even notice us? And in response to your actual words here, I'd argue the majority of writers don't care what the bible says about angels any more than Meyer cared what Vampire lore says. "It all serves the story" is more likely a refrain.

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/entries/2010/12/19_ : Post

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 01:09:07 +0000

My mom confided something in my a week or two ago. I'm the same age as you, and I still felt overwhelmed (as an adult!) to be my mom's confidant. It made me wonder if it isn't so much the age of the child receiving the information, as the revising of the balance of power. I seriously admire my mom, and for her to be that human and unconcealed with me shook my personal framework. Now, I can see such a shaking being harder on a child, especially the accompanying confusion of equal/subordinate that confidant/child switch up results in. But that again is the severe insecurity of "who am I today?!" more than the act of listening itself... Anyway, I've just been thinking on that more, lately. Praying for you. (Not writing much on the blog right now b/c I don't want to publicly say a house is empty-- doesn't seem wise; but we are sleeping at the new place now, and getting the house in order.)

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/entries/2010/12/19_ : Post

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 01:01:46 +0000

I never would have thought of laying down not-in-bed. I should try something like this once the floor's clean in my new place. (Still waiting on hot water, then I'll be able to set up the laundry room and organize my "prayer closet" (that space there I plan to be my own).

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/entries/2010/12/19_ : Post

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:58:29 +0000

I believe that if you are pursuing the truth,you don't need to worry about "reacting." That you need understanding for yourself is fine, and healthy, but as you chart your course, I believe that your efforts to be Christlike (as opposed to focusing on being not-like your parents) will result in as "balanced" a life as any of us can reach.

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/entries/2010/12/19_ : Post

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:51:47 +0000

I tend to trust blindly-- almost randomly. It could be by instinct, and that's why I can't explain the process-- I think there's some rhyme and reason to it. Mainly I'm attracted to someone (they look trustworthy, or I've seentheir gentleness with someone else), and so I converse to see their heart out a bit. Eventually I throw out my heart. If they catch it and return part of their own-- especially if they treat what they've caught as precious-- I'm vested. If they don't return some of their own heart, or value what I've given them, or ask for more from me with no further foundation of mutuality, that's when I shut down. Can't remember if I've said so here, but I *need* relationships; I find my identity so much in relation to others (even if it's so frequently in opposition to others) that I need the *other* to find myself. So you could say I live in a (different sort of) high-risk environment, but I'm blessed to have a core group of two or three responsive people who keep me from going under when I crash. I'd like to be more "smart" about what I do, but I'm not there yet.

Becky Castle Miller : Sorrow Before Hallelujah

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:41:38 +0000

K-- that came out weird. I need to get better about commenting on-topic, sorry.

Becky Castle Miller : Sorrow Before Hallelujah

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 00:18:01 +0000

I'll have to think about it. I'm sure I have a fave, I've been listening to the whole thing since before Jay got home. I appreciate the idea of needing the right soloist to bring a particular piece to life. Made me want to go back through my recordings and make a "master" compilation of the best of each. Coming from a musical family, and marrying a man who isn't a "singer" but has so much heart when he does, I find myself in an interesting place when I listen to singers of these things. I listen to their hearts. On YouTube I watch their faces. And I grieve (albeit lightly) beautiful music that is beautiful without the singer's soul. I've seen the best of both kinds of goodness, so it is very hard to be impressed-- especially when I can tell a tenor is v. satisfied with himself: I grew up hearing my dad, and there are about three levels to why I doubt I'll ever hear his voice matched.

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/entries/2010/12/19_ : Post

Mon, 3 Jan 2011 06:23:02 +0000

Also-- the word "caretake" triggered for me, based on another friend who's in counseling-- Has your therapist brought up the idea of "Co-dependency" with you? I see its usefulness as a descriptor, but it's a bit of a slippery fish (kinda like ADD/ADHD) where its definition can get spread so broadly it ceases to be useful.

http://web.me.com/bluestocking_bb/life_less_brooke_would_be_ordinary/reflections/entries/2010/12/19_ : Post

Mon, 3 Jan 2011 06:10:33 +0000

I continue to pray peace and wholeness for you, but I'm hesitant to cheer any kind of (two-way) relational goals as resolutions-- just because the other person is always out of control/reach, and that can lead to frustration and disappointment. This year is going to be recovery from the last one-- It's funny to think how long we've "known" each other now-- I've "let myself go" too, physically in my case, and that after getting rid of all my "before" clothes, so I've been uncomfortable on top of feeling undisciplined. Once we get moved I hope to reapply that misplaced will-power and make my wardrobe fit again. Not resolving anything yet, just trying to think beyond today.