737 comments posted · 20 followers · following 0

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +2 points

Just wanted to put this in, years later I know - I have been a big old queer for over 30 years (consciously), and that person was full of shit.

Sexuality actually is a spectrum. If you're in a happy relationship, no, you're probably not interested in naked body time with other people. If you've found any woman hot, not to mention making out with at least one, and having associated pants-feelings, "straight" does not encompass all of your sexuality.

So many women have no clue at all they're on the queer spectrum unless something makes them realise it - look at Cynthia Nixon or Meredith Baxter Birney. You *already* know it's a thing.

So many women don't act on their same-sex attractions until they are: a) single (and available for romances in general), and b) the right kind of woman comes along. I've had more than one partner where I was their first woman partner - women in their thirties with plenty of good relationship experience with guys, a liberal friendship circle, etc etc. Maybe they got a few more queers around them at a certain time to bring those lady-fancying thoughts a bit more to the fore. And it was definitely a case of my happening to be there at the right time (and not particularly fussed about someone's labels if they're showing an interest).

Sometimes we're fairly narrow in our tastes for the "other" sex - I call myself "almost entirely homo", and with the few guys I've shagged, they have had cheekbones and long dark hair a la a younger Ross Noble, or they have short curly hair like Adam Ant in his prime. Other guys don't register. Then they need to not be overly tall, have a good non-offensive sense of humour, treat me with respect, and happen to send out "interested" signals when I'm horny, had 1-2 drinks, and am in an extended lady-business drought. Since I'm pretty butch in presentation, and with that list of requirements, it's pretty amazing guy-fucking ever happened at all.

(Well, I went through a phase of boy-shagging in my late teens before I came out - same type of guy/circumstances - but a fling in my early 30s convinced me that I'm really only 98% homo. No dude-directed romantic feelings at all.)

Anyway, fuck anyone who feels they have the right to define your sexuality, no matter how "queerer than thou" they declare themselves to be.

I find it doubly offensive - telling someone they don't know their own mind, and potentially giving someone the impression that all queers are as bigoted and unwelcoming as they are. If you have plenty of queer friends, you probably know that's not the case. For someone tentatively reaching out to the community for the first time, such pronouncements have sent people scuttling away. :-(

7 years ago @ The Toast - A Linguist On the Stor... · 0 replies · +1 points

Same with the Polynesian languages.

As well as the inclusive/exclusive "I", you refer to other people by quantity (one, two, more) and distance (here, there, over yonder).

Maori grammar is fabulous - no gendered pronouns or particles, no cases (definite and indefinite articles just come in singular as plural), and no verb inflections, other than the passive mode. That's the only grammar construction I know of that's irregular - passive verb forms. And passive forms are used more frequently than we do in European languages.

The tricky part is learning to use all the preposition-like little words (I'm sure there's a technical term) to denote time and continuity of action, direction (including the accusative-like sense) and so on.

Possessives are by number and "size" -things that are smaller or you directly control or are superior to, vs larger things or something you don't control. A horse is in the first category as a pet, but the second if just for transport. Kids are in the first category, parents in the second. Actions in the first, but emotions in the second!

7 years ago @ Clever Manka - Friday Open Thread · 2 replies · +2 points

Finally made it over here after being reminded on Reddit that the lovely Manka made this thing - so thanks, I've been reading the archives.

It's already nearly 2am in NZ, so my friends there have been revelling in their various ways. It's going to tick over here in Oz in 20 minutes, so I'll break out some Balvenie. Just me tonight.

Wishing all of you a good new year, and a better 2017 if your 2016 was as tough as it was for many of us.

7 years ago @ The Toast - "I regret pairing Ron ... · 0 replies · +2 points

See reply below.

7 years ago @ The Toast - "I regret pairing Ron ... · 0 replies · +3 points

7 years ago @ The Toast - Get This Look: The Tor... · 0 replies · +1 points

If you're still here in Oz, here's hoping no bushfires have come close, nor any of the lethal creatures that abound. I don't enjoy earthquakes, but it's not often entire suburbs or townships get totalled (I don't mind snakes etc, but I get bizarrely paranoid driving in the countryside in summer).

Leaving us sheep-shaggers aside, I can't get over the fact that this piece never once made reference to that most exalted of Australian beverage vessels, the goon bag.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Bus Rides I Have Had · 0 replies · +1 points

It's like that in some Australian cities as well. The bus system in Canberra is ok - definitely improved over the last decade of Labor/Greens govt - but is barely used by middle-class residents, who refer to it as the "loser cruiser".

I spoke to a colleague the other day who has literally only just started taking the bus that leaves from outside her door, and gets her to work in less than 20 minutes. This partly relates to the service going to a 15 minute frequency, but mainly because these particular buses are now painted a distinctive colour and advertise said frequency on them. It hadn't occurred to her to investigate the service right outside her door before that.

This is a slightly unusual example in that she does now take the bus. But they are chokker with recent immigrants, the elderly, teenagers, students, pensioners, etc etc, and slightly increasing numbers of middle-class commuters.

They're building a light rail system on one of the busiest routes now, and it drives me absolutely nuts when people, who only take the bus when their car is broken down and their partner can't drive them for some reason (pretty much every middle-class household is a two-car one), bitch about how unnecessary fast, frequent, reliable, higher-capacity public transport is.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Predicting Human Behav... · 0 replies · +1 points

Wallis Simpson was an American tho.

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Chickenhead In Me:... · 0 replies · +2 points

Class oppression. And, no, I'm not even joking.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Some Pros and Cons of ... · 0 replies · +2 points

I have never ever said this in blog comments before, but: are you me? Wow.

I was literally flummoxed when I first encountered a colour-coded bookshelf. How on earth do you find anything? And I said it out loud.

I love books, and while there are some instances of cover art I love, it's nothing compared to the contents (leaving aside the vast majority of book covers that clash with the contents).

I nearly always buy ebooks now - 500 books in my small bag is just a luxurious feeling. I still have a ridiculous number of real books on shelves, and I buy glossy art and architecture books. But it's about the words with books for reading, not pictures.