Oh Mel, I just read your cry for help. I don't have any miraculous advice to share with you, but I just wanted to give you a huge virtual hug. xoxo
Oh no! These kinds of episodes are so trying... little a had a few a couple of months ago, but I'm sure we have more on the horizon. Your telling of the story is hilarious, though!! Hold onto that sense of humour. I think we're going to need it over the coming years.
I understand what you're saying, A. I agree that the information out there, particularly sources like this that lay so much importance on what we do as parents, is anxiety-provoking and that too much anxiety serves no one in the family equation. I also agree that it's not an either or HARM or PERFECT kind of situation when we consider this kind of parental attitude. That being said, after reading this article, I started to pay attention to my tendency to praise and tried replacing praise with, as suggested in the article, an observation of the behaviour at hand. So instead of saying "Good job, little a!", I say "Wow, you stacked all those blocks by yourself!" Essentially, I use the same tone of voice but replace the "value judgment" with a description of what I see my daughter doing. Will this have any huge impact on little a as she grows? Who can say? But learning that I can be enthusiastic and supportive without conveying to my daughter that I'm sitting there 'judging' her behaviour feels useful to me.
Thanks for sharing this, Jen. I can't imagine what it would have been like to go through. What a huge loss for you and your sister. Good for you, claiming the closure that you weren't given when you were younger. xox
And OMG, Alex is the spitting image of you!!
I love this approach, J!! I definitely need to try this one out. Good for you, looking out for yourself and protecting your downtime.
Glad to hear it, H. The tree image has really helped me since I read about it. I don't even want to type what I'm about to say because (knock on wood) little a has seemed a little more laid back these days and less trying. Fingers crossed that I haven't just completely jinxed myself and the next round of, ahem, challenges will start tomorrow.
Great post, M! It's so good to be reminded of ways to stay grounded and to keep an eye on all the wonderful things that are interspersed among the challenges of motherhood. On that note, another neat blog post on a similar theme:
http://www.superherodesigns.com/journal/archives/...
Oh H, I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I hope the necklace will work it's magic on Freya as it has for us. Fingers crossed!
Great post, Jen... what weird and wacky discoveries! - Sarah
Thanks for answering, J. We have been letting little a sleep in hers... which is not what they advise on websites, but I feel confident that it is okay, as the necklace is tightly knotted in between each bead, so very little risk of it being pulled apart. At the shop where we bought hers, they said to be 100% safe, you could wrap it around the baby's ankle at night, where it would be under the pj's or sleep sack so the baby can't fiddle with it.
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