en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/609548 Comments by TheSphinx http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/14/in-pursuit-of-liberation/#IDComment52790926 Thanks Dee! I thought about the risks too when I was leaving but I'm so glad I'm here and I don't think I'll be going back. lol Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:08:30 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/14/in-pursuit-of-liberation/#IDComment52790926 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/14/in-pursuit-of-liberation/#IDComment52790624 Yeah, it can be so restrictive to wait for others all the time. I just got sick of it. The sad thing is, a month later, some people still haven't gotten over it. I really don't understand. Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:05:07 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/14/in-pursuit-of-liberation/#IDComment52790624 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/14/in-pursuit-of-liberation/#IDComment52790376 Thanks Goddess! Ooh Mega Plan! Sounds exciting! Can't wait for you to come back ! (sitting on edge) lol Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:02:48 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/14/in-pursuit-of-liberation/#IDComment52790376 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/07/what-about-your-friends/#IDComment51862784 Yeah, seems like it should be simple. I guess it's true that you just can't loan money to some friends. I have an update on this situation that I'll be posting about soon. Wed, 13 Jan 2010 15:10:28 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/07/what-about-your-friends/#IDComment51862784 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/11/its-been-a-long-time-shouldna-left-you/#IDComment51688823 Aw thanks GI! Take as much time as you like. We'll be excited to see the new stuff from the new you! 2010 is definitely going to be a great year! Love ya! Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:23:56 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2010/01/11/its-been-a-long-time-shouldna-left-you/#IDComment51688823 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44599181 No fair Dee! You can only pick one (in this case)! Passion or practicality? Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:07:10 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44599181 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44599039 Hey Reecie! So one of the arguments was that passion and being IN love is the thing that holds people together, and makes them WANT to stay in it (even when there's disagreement and argument). As opposed to just being in this relationship where everything is practical and convenient. Some people would say in that case, what's the incentive to make it work? Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:05:20 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44599039 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44598677 So what makes you prefer blue (aka practicality) over pink (passion)? LoL and i'm guessing it's more than just because you're a guy and you don't like pink. Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:01:43 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44598677 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/19/family-matters-not/#IDComment39612969 Yeah it's like they say: if you go looking for stuff, more than likely, you'll find something. It just seems that a lot of people are erring on the side of ignorance lately. And that's not cool. But maybe you're right. Maybe we sometimes don't give people enough "benefit of doubt".... Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:59:16 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/19/family-matters-not/#IDComment39612969 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/19/family-matters-not/#IDComment39551055 Yeah for real. It's not like I told her F_@k you! Hell, maybe next time I should. At least then, she'll have something to talk about. Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:23:11 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/19/family-matters-not/#IDComment39551055 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/19/family-matters-not/#IDComment39551003 My grandmother's like that sometimes. I think it's that whole competitive thing. She will get mad at us for "taking sides" if it's anyone's side other than her own. Also, anything someone else has accomplished (other than her own kids/grandkids), she "doesn't believe". Crazy. Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:22:27 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/19/family-matters-not/#IDComment39551003 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38378111 I wish you would! (Look who's talking - girl that hasn't had a post in days! :-( I'm working on it... I think). We're all dying to hear about date two though! Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:30:22 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38378111 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/29/lets-not-be-too-black-today/#IDComment37298904 L.M.A.O!!!!!! @ GI! HIL-ARIOUS!!!! As I was reading the words, I was bobbing my head, and about to forget I was in the workplace! lolol Good stuff! Ok, so I have a question. You all talked about how you want to feel comfortable in your skin, and you don't want to hide who you are for anyone, even if that evokes stereotypes. Where do you draw the line though? What if you worked at a 95% black company, and even the upper level management was 50%-65% black? Would this give you more of a right to "do you"? Since your coworkers are black, they should understand that it is what it is? Or would you act just as if you were in vanilla America? Mon, 5 Oct 2009 13:15:41 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/29/lets-not-be-too-black-today/#IDComment37298904 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/02/contradictions-in-black-white/#IDComment37297491 Wow Tracy! Good for you! You handled that really well. I can't say that I would've been that calm about it. lol I'm sure he was EXTRA salty after that too. Did your husband's mom and dad apologize for their brother? I don't see how you can do it. I'd be paranoid if I were dating a white guy, wondering if his mom and dad were secretly like that too. That's good your husband forewarned you about it though, so you were able to go into the situation prepared. Mon, 5 Oct 2009 13:00:00 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/02/contradictions-in-black-white/#IDComment37297491 http://luvologist.com/luv-scribes/dear-luv-and-friends/sex-or-no-sex#IDComment37075481 You're letting them dictate to you how the relationship (or sexship) will go. You, as ppl mentioned previously, aren't setting boundaries, and you aren't letting these dudes know that you have requirements. Have they even taken you on dates, or is it always them coming to your place (or you theirs) to "just chill"? Men will only do what we, as women, let them. And if you aren't giving any straight up comments letting them know that they aren't going to get away with walking and screwing over you (literally, in the reverse order), then they'll continue to do just that. I'd wait a little longer to have sex with these men -- like, until I figure out if they're worth having sex with. I mean, if you were just looking to have sex, that's a different story. But it seems like you want more, so why not demand more of them? And if they run after you make your demands/requirements known, then they weren't tryna be into you in the first place. Sat, 3 Oct 2009 21:29:17 +0000 http://luvologist.com/luv-scribes/dear-luv-and-friends/sex-or-no-sex#IDComment37075481 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/02/contradictions-in-black-white/#IDComment36898365 LOVE IT! Thanks ladies! I thought I was tripping when I wrote the post, but just thinking about it pisses me off all over again. I've heard too many white folks within the past few months since Obama's election make comments implying that we don't have anything to complain about now since one of us are in the highest office. Well, when you have a$$holes calling him out in the middle of HIS show, then I guess that doesn't count as f'd up. Fri, 2 Oct 2009 21:58:41 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/02/contradictions-in-black-white/#IDComment36898365 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/17/thats-not-my-granddaddy-thats-my-man/#IDComment35134345 Thanks so much for the love Fay! We'll definitely be checking out the monthly blog contest! Sun, 20 Sep 2009 00:38:52 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/17/thats-not-my-granddaddy-thats-my-man/#IDComment35134345 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/04/venus-vs-mars-love-commitment-%e2%80%93-part-2-%e2%80%9cthe-assignment%e2%80%9d/#IDComment34429476 Thanks sylkii. Good points you bring up. "Why buy the cow... milk free" vs. "But a woman has to do certain things... keep the man interested". I think there's a fine line between keeping the man interested and "selling out", so to speak. Where would you draw the line? Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:05:20 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/04/venus-vs-mars-love-commitment-%e2%80%93-part-2-%e2%80%9cthe-assignment%e2%80%9d/#IDComment34429476 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/04/venus-vs-mars-love-commitment-%e2%80%93-part-2-%e2%80%9cthe-assignment%e2%80%9d/#IDComment34426655 LoL @ "hold up!" GI is about to snap! I wasn't the only one that had the hw assignment though. He and I were both supposed to do it, and it turns out that I started (and finished) mine a couple nights before it was "due". And then I got mad because it didn't seem right to be stating my case about why we should get married. So that's when I told him I wasn't going to do the assignment and told him why. He said he was still going to do the assignment for himself. I never asked him what he came up with when he did it for himself. But if I had to guess, I'd say he still came up with that he didn't think it was necessary to get married before living together. But I also don't think the restaurant is why he's "holding out" on getting married. When I asked him if the restaurant was something he needed to have in place before marriage could happen, he said no. But I'm taking the old lady's advice and stop trying to make sense of everything in a relationship. It's unnecessary stress. Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:25:45 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/04/venus-vs-mars-love-commitment-%e2%80%93-part-2-%e2%80%9cthe-assignment%e2%80%9d/#IDComment34426655 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/04/venus-vs-mars-love-commitment-%e2%80%93-part-2-%e2%80%9cthe-assignment%e2%80%9d/#IDComment34425873 Great points Tracy. I agree with you, it's definitely a must that you should always look your best. This includes while being married. If you are slipping in the appearance department, there's nothing preventing your husband from dating/sleeping with a woman that does keep herself up. Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:14:28 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/09/04/venus-vs-mars-love-commitment-%e2%80%93-part-2-%e2%80%9cthe-assignment%e2%80%9d/#IDComment34425873