en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/762282 Comments by TheSituation https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68232266 Do guys feel the need to conform to what society wants? The answer is obvious if you look around and see what guys are wearing on weekend nights. The majority of guys will be in a button up shirt or polo so do guys feel the need to conform to what society wants yes. That’s just looks but it goes deeper than that. No guy wants to be called soft or a pussy which causes them to act similar. Guys who are more emotional or sensitive are often looked at as less than a macho buff tough guy. Guys want to fit in with other guys and will do this by liking and participating in “manly” activities. Guys are suppose to love football, beer, and half dressed women. Those who don’t like these things or are not interested in sports are often questioned on their sexuality. One of my friends is not into sports at all not into video games and not really into competition, he love Glee, singing, gossiping and other things that are not considered manly, and people always ask me if he is gay. He actually has a really hot girlfriend which I find funny since people assume he is gay before getting to know him. I get mad when people assume he is and don’t believe me when I tell them that he is not because they do not think it is possible to be into these things and be straight. Society has cast these stupid trends that guys need to be into football and drink beer and girls should be super skinny and are emotional and it sucks. Everyone should be themselves dress how they want and be happy with how they look and act. I do not conform to societies standards by any mean. I am into sports a lot and I do like beer but I am a loving caring person and I am not ashamed to let it show. People who are constantly comparing themselves to other people have deeper issues than not looking the way they want. These people have insecurities that they should face and overcome and that is how they will be happy. You should never change who you are, what you like, or how you dress to impress other people. In the past I felt the need to fit in and wanted a different body type or personality or anything to be like the people that our society idolizes and I dressed in ways I wouldn’t dress now. I did it to try to fit in during high school which I’m sure many people in the class have gone through. It was not until I started dressing how I liked dressing and being myself that I was happy. Thu, 15 Apr 2010 16:52:11 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68232266 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/this-is-totally-off-the-hook__trashed/#IDComment66632047 My initial reaction to this report was shock. I could not believe anything like this exist, and find it not humorous, but silly that anyone would want to play these games. Who wasted their time creating a game like this? To answer Sam’s question, no I would ever play this game with my guy friends out of fear of what my mom would do if she ever found out that I played such a disgraceful game, and because of the game play. Why the hell would anyone want to play a game where the object of the game is to rape an innocent girl? I am having a hard time responding to this, I cannot get over the fact that this game even exist and find myself laughing, not because I think it’s funny, but because it’s so off the wall I can’t do anything else. Thu, 8 Apr 2010 18:48:00 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/this-is-totally-off-the-hook__trashed/#IDComment66632047 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/i-really-want-to-know-also__trashed/#IDComment66629542 I do not think Sam’s goal for this semester is to change anyone’s opinion, I think he wants to inform us on things that are real and going on around us every day. I am not sure if any of my opinions changed because I do not know what opinions would change as a result of attending and taking this class. However, this class has opened my eyes to stuff that I would have never known. If you or any other student walks away from class thinking about the material Sam just went over than Sam is reaching his goal. Thu, 8 Apr 2010 18:38:30 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/i-really-want-to-know-also__trashed/#IDComment66629542 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-about-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment65655376 I can not imagine how this feels as I am not multi cultured. The only advice I would give to you is identify with the side that you were raised with. I felt really stupid at the end of this video because people always assume that I am Italian because of my skin completion and dark thick hair, and I might be 10% at most. I have only gotten mad once when a girl called me a guido, but I just laughed it off because in a way it was funny to me that she thought I was a guido. Fri, 2 Apr 2010 23:48:41 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-about-multiracial-people__trashed/#IDComment65655376 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-if-we-got-rid-of-welfare__trashed/#IDComment65650452 The welfare system is the messiest thing in the nation. Some people need to be on it and some people cheat the system. Over summer I worked at a bank in a low income area where people would get welfare checks, SSI, and Social security. Some would need these checks while others didn’t but still got them. A lady was getting money from the government every month while working an under the table job, and also collecting un-employment. This got me outraged. My money that is being taken out of my paychecks which do not stretch very far are going towards her checks? We obviously need a welfare system for the children but isn’t WIC good enough? Fri, 2 Apr 2010 23:32:24 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-if-we-got-rid-of-welfare__trashed/#IDComment65650452 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65648757 I do not fully understand the ins and outs of affirmative action so I am in no way shape or from an expert with the topic. I do agree with the point you make though. I believe in equal opportunity but is affirmative action the correct way in ensuring it happens? From what I understand the university, work place, whatever it is needs tor reflects the population. So if the population of the state, or city, is 45% black than the employees or student body must properly reflect that. Again I am no expert and could be 100% wrong with that statement. But if I do understand it correctly it does not make sense. If you have two applicants of different color or ethnicity applying for a position as a doctor and the staff does not accurately reflect the population does the best candidate get selected for the position? I do not think the problem lies in the interview. In class Sam has showed us studies and videos that show job applicants and people calling for an apartment rental are often prejudged based on their names. How does this affect affirmative action? It is disturbing to see the video of the man doing different impressions and countlessly being turned away from renting an apartment until he calls using a cultured, intelligent white accent. It was equally disturbing learning about the applicants being turned away or not called back for an interview based on their names. To me this is the problem, and affirmative action only helps. I cannot come up with a solution to this as I cannot control what others believe and how others act. Is there a way to diminish this from happening? It’s hard to prove if one is being unfairly treated based off of their names(with job applicants and housing) since the one who does not receive the job offer or gets accepted for housing does not know if the reasons were legitimate or biased. To stop or decrease this discrimination from happening I think those who are doing the discrimination should be made examples of through legal actions and media exploitations. If an example can be made where someone is fired from their job after discriminating against someone for anything race, sexuality, ethnicity it might deter others from doing it. In a perfect world none of this would happen and there would be no need for laws such a affirmative action, but this world is far from perfect. America has developed vastly since its dark days of genocide, slavery, and segregation and hopefully one day the American society can get over discrimination. As the older generations die out and our generation moves into the leadership position we can make this difference. Fri, 2 Apr 2010 23:26:14 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65648757 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-are-all-of-you-thinking-about-asians__trashed/#IDComment64268232 I agree with other bloggers that distinguishing between Asian international students and Asian Americans is challenging and the majority of the majority would fail at doing it. The things I would look at would be language accents, and mannerisms. In high school one of my good friends was Korean and a lot of white people just assumed he was Asian or Chinese he got upset by it. Only once was I as a white guy told that I look like all other white people. It felt weird and I didn’t understand what the hell my co-workers were talking about. I would hate to go through that all the time though. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 23:31:31 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-are-all-of-you-thinking-about-asians__trashed/#IDComment64268232 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64267583 I grew up in a house with two sisters and a mom I was use to periods being talked about whenever. If a girl wanted to talk to me about that topic I would let her it wouldn’t bother me because its natural. Sam went to far with it though. Saying he wanted to see it calling it beautiful and calling it bleeding was to much for the majority of people in class. It didn’t gross me out but I don’t think that’s something you should talk about with people you’re comfortable with. But I still thought the whole thing was funny. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 23:24:39 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/in-her-own-words__trashed/#IDComment64267583 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64266715 This was not the first time I’ve seen this video but the impact it has was still the same. It is indescribable to express the feelings that video gave me. Until seeing this video I have never noticed how beauty is portrayed by media and society. It was heart wrenching seeing those children have these ideals embedded in them at such a young age that white is the nicer, prettier race. One of the reasons I think this could happen is the way beauty is portrayed in mainstream media. The majority of commercials that are aired have white actors and these commercials are beer, beauty, toys, cars etc. and all kids are seeing these commercials and seeing the white people and white kids always playing partying getting the new toys and think that it makes the white people the better color. It’s bullshit. Advertising for toys especially dolls is always white dolls. The children see these commercials and consider them the good dolls since they are on TV. When they are then faced with choosing a white doll that they may have seen on TV or one that looks similar to it, and a black one they may not have prior recollection to they assume the white is better. I could be completely wrong but that’s just what my take was of a disturbing situation. I remember when I grew up as a white kid and playing with my little sister and her dolls she had mixture of white dolls like barbie and colored dolls from various places my parents and aunt traveled to that replicated the culture of the country. Obviously she played with Barbie more because its Barbie. If you think of the popular dolls and princess figures girls have growing up that are on tv and in toy form almost all of them are white polly pocket, tinker bell, Cinderella, beauty and the beast, raggy anne, the little mermaid, dorthy from wizard of oz and more. All white all figures that children look up to for entertainment and fun. There needs to be more black princess and more black dolls that are advertised as much as Barbie and polly pocket. Even in the Power Rangers did anyone else ever noticed the pretty white girly girl was pink, the Asian girl was yellow, the Italian cool guy was red, the nerd was blue, and the black guy was black. It’s almost kind of funny how they purposely did that. Why couldn’t the Asian girl be pink and the black guy be red and the nerd be yellow? Fri, 26 Mar 2010 23:17:01 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64266715 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63079352 That is very interesting I have never thought about history in that perspective. If these tragic times in history of whites oppressing other into slavery, segregation, and manslaughter where written from the other side’s, the guilty tone may not be there. The perspective of writing would be completely different if a man of color was writing about segregation rather than a white man. The man of color may have relatives who experienced the segregation who can give him detailed description of what went on. The white man would write it and most likely consider political correctness which can cause a guilty tone. During my race relation discussion require for section 33 students to take we discussed the possibility of teaching the story of the Native Americans in a different way. All of us remembered growing up and being taught that the “pilgrims and Indians” where peaceful and ate Thanksgiving together. The earliest any of us remember being taught about the genocide that took place on the grounds we trek daily was in high school and that’s unacceptable. The truth needs to be taught early so children do not grow up believing that the Native Americans were treated fairly. They also need to refer to them as Native Americans not Indians. The question is how can this be done, how can a tragic event, a genocide, be taught to elementary school children without scaring and horrifying them? Sat, 20 Mar 2010 01:08:23 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63079352 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment63077494 Political correctness. That’s why there was an uproar when it was the white students turn to text. Since white is the majority there is a non verbal or physical pressure placed to be as political correct as possible. Its stupid sounding but I really feel like that’s the reason. When anyone could text at the beginning of class people where laughing at some but no one was making uproar about what was being said because there was no way to identify who was said what. I feel that if our class was majority people of color with white being the minority in the class that it would be the opposite. Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:51:53 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment63077494 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/is-anyone-else-getting-this-stuff__trashed/#IDComment63076415 After attending our required race discussion and reading the book it I obvious that they benefit everyone who is partaking in them. However, I find it weird that you need to have a designated time and place for a race discussion. Is it so people can prepare themselves to participate in something outside of their comfort zones? I felt no different going to the discussion than I do walking to class. Race discussions and the book Sam’s wife wrote our eye opening experiences for people who do not have the privilege of living in a diverse community. I think they need to be designated so people will let their guards down and ask the things they need to, to develop as an open minded person. Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:41:24 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/is-anyone-else-getting-this-stuff__trashed/#IDComment63076415 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/when-do-we-do-or-say-something__trashed/#IDComment58889065 Observing the situation and being in the situation are two different things. All of us that watched this in class from our seats had similar thoughts of how we would stand up for this woman and things that we would say to this clerk. If I were in the store and heard this argument and saw this horrible hatred going on I would have opted to say a few things. I only would have stated my disagreement with the clerk and the fact that I would not come back to the store nor will any of my parents, friends or anyone. For scenarios like this I feel it would make more of an impact to report it to the local news so everyone in the community would see what is going on. Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:31:53 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/when-do-we-do-or-say-something__trashed/#IDComment58889065 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/when-do-we-do-or-say-something__trashed/#IDComment58888509 I understand the view the student had who said it is not his place to say something but like the two respondents in the video I do not agree that not saying anything is the right thing to do. Also to make a statement that you disagree with the practices the store owner is doing there are other things that can be done that are not verbal. If I was in that position I would not intervene in the argument rather I would tell the clerk I am not returning to this store and I will tell everyone I know to do the same. Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:25:50 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/when-do-we-do-or-say-something__trashed/#IDComment58888509 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/native-americans-question-one__trashed/#IDComment58686181 I had the same question myself and I’ve had it for a long time. Education on Native Americans should start at a young age. It is a very ugly part of our history but deserves to be told in respect to those who were killed and chased from their land. Without proper education one would think that Native Americans or ‘Indians’ were these savages that taught the early settler lessons on hunting and gathering food. It’s bullshit that this is what American schools teach children. They deserve to learn the ugly and brutal truth, and it should not be kept hidden. Slavery and the civil rights movement were also some of the ugliest time in the history of America but they are still taught, so why not teach about the Native Americans and the truth. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of college that I was educated on how bad the European immigrants treated the Native Americans. Shaving their heads, killing them for tribal chants, placing them in prisons in attempt to turn them more “white”. This is the stuff that needs to be taught in grade school so Americans do not have a false belief on the events that happened. It may sound weird and I am not in any way comparing the two but while I was watching Avatar I kept thinking in my head that the company trying to destroy and take land from the blue people was much like the European settlers moving across America forcing the Native Americans from their land, a land that they respected just like the people in Avatar did. They respected everything from animals they killed to eat, to Mother Nature. The issue lies a lot deeper than grade school children. I am willing to bet that the majority of us in this class would do not know of major events that happened while the Native Americans were being oppressed. It’s sad that an American History class, HIST 21, did not even cover the events that happened to the Native Americans. The class beings and continues to talk about the early settlers and how they made it, where they lived, it does not discuss the fact that the Native people to this land were slaughtered, forced from their homes and camps, torn apart from their tribes and families, in order for the immigrants to drill for oil, mine for coal, or build railroads and roadways to further develop the newfound country. Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:16:33 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/native-americans-question-one__trashed/#IDComment58686181 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-two__trashed/#IDComment57662127 That is a good question. I love all of my friends and would do anything for them, but I have no sexual interest in any of them. I would not and never will consider myself bi-sexual because I know that I have no sexual interest in guys. There is no line between bi-sexual and normal love. We all love our parents and siblings to death but we don’t have sexual interest in them. Like Sam was saying in class, there is a cretin feeling you get when you see someone that you find hot, and if you don’t feel that feeling about members of the same sex then you are not bi-sexual. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:08:40 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-two__trashed/#IDComment57662127 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-three__trashed/#IDComment57661498 I disagree with you, and think that people that are bi-sexual, and when I say that I mean people who are attracted to both men and women and have been with multiple men and women, are confused with their sexuality. I don’t mean that these people contemplate “hmm am I gay or straight”, I think its deeper than that. Our society today makes it hard for gay’s to come out and let the world know that they are who they are. One of my Uncles has two kids and wife but he is in no doubt gay. He never divorced his wife, but does not live with her anymore and has had partners in the past that he’s dated for a significant amount of time. He knew he was attracted to men from an early age but since society has casted such a negativity towards gay people and society tells us boys like girls and girls like boys he felt that he needed to get married to a woman in order to be ‘normal’. I see the society that exist today, the society that we live in as a changing society that will one day allow men to marry men and women to merry women, but right now its not like that and we all feel outside pressures to do what is considered the norm of society. This can cause confusion on which sexual orientation one may be. I am straight and have never felt any type of emotion towards a man so I cannot speak from experience but I’ve seen this confusion through people I went to high school with and my uncle. It kind of sucks that gay people, who are not choosing to be gay, have to go through this process of confusion but I blame it on the society we live in. if we had an open society where people were not judgmental and crazy religious people did not see being gay as ‘the work of the devil’ than this stage on confusion would not exist, but we have those people in our society so it does. Like I said the confusion these people have isn’t “am I gay or straight” its why don’t I feel this way about women/men when everyone else of my gender does. People want to belong and until they themselves accept and realize that they are different and it’s not bad to be different they may try to be with a member of the opposite sex to be normal. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:02:50 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-three__trashed/#IDComment57661498 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-six__trashed/#IDComment57659794 Lesbians are definitely more accepted than gay may, there is no way anyone could argue otherwise. I personally accept both lesbians and gays for who they are and don’t judge either for their sexual orientation. I personally think that lesbians are accepted more than gays strictly because of the sexual appeal society gives them. As Sam stated in class the majority of porn stars (a female dominated industry) do a girl on girl scene at least once in their career. From a young age straight males are led to believe that two hot girls making out is a turn on, but don’t realize that actual lesbians are not always two hot girls. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:50:08 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-six__trashed/#IDComment57659794 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/swinging-past-the-other-end-of-the-ideological-spectrum-on-the-way-to-the-intellectual-gray__trashed/#IDComment56578690 I agree with your interpretation of Sam’s lecture. The points you are making are good and I like how you highlight the fact that it is always your decision. I feel most people definitely make the decision that society would want them to make. This type of coercion influences decisions people make every day ,”if I do this it will benefit me, but if I do that it will benefit them” and that deliberation is tough. I find that the majority of the decision’s I make, make others happier than a different decision would of made me feel. Sat, 13 Feb 2010 01:29:13 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/swinging-past-the-other-end-of-the-ideological-spectrum-on-the-way-to-the-intellectual-gray__trashed/#IDComment56578690 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56577577 Racism is one of the worst things in our world today. I like the majority of people wish it would go away forever but that is impossible. Racism is embedded in our culture thanks to the ignorant people that continue to pass these ideas down through generations. I feel that racism, like family traditions, is passed down through ones parents. Imagine if from the day you were born you parents raised you calling overweight people beautiful and skinny people ugly. This kid would grow up with opposite views of the general public. That’s how I see racism; it’s a choice the parents make to pass on to their children because there is not biological difference between whites and blacks. Sat, 13 Feb 2010 01:23:14 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56577577