gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Mitt Romney Has Worn A Garbage Bag, Just Like You

Thu, 1 Mar 2012 18:00:00 +0000

Well, this is taking flip-flopping to a whole new, absurd level.

Wonkette : Andrew Breitbart Drops Dead

Thu, 1 Mar 2012 17:54:26 +0000

Too many poop jokes? Probably.

Wonkette : Andrew Breitbart Drops Dead

Thu, 1 Mar 2012 16:09:11 +0000

#CORRECTION Andrew Breitbart had five children - He shit out the fully formed body of James O'Keefe several years ago.

Wonkette : Montana's Top Federal Judge Says Obama's Mom Screwed Dogs

Thu, 1 Mar 2012 13:31:05 +0000

No no no. You guys are reading this all wrong! He's calling Obama an unclean infidel dog - which everybody knows, Muslims freak out about.

Wonkette : Your 'Michigan Mitt & Arizona Too' Election Night Death Blog

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 01:34:03 +0000

I've got $500 that says Newt Gingrich rage-shits all over Mitt Romney's face while Mitt Romney rage-shits all over Rick Santorum's face when they both lose to Rick Santorum - Rick, meanwhile, will be desperately scrubbing at the shit stains all over his favorite sweater vest. And, hey Rick! Everybody knows you dab at stains, not scrub. You fucking idiot.

Wonkette : Mitt Romney Would Rather Lose Michigan Than Be Forced To Pander

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 01:10:38 +0000

"Fetuses are people too, my friend."

Wonkette : Nation's Sexiest Supervisor in Meth-Fueled Sex-Tape Sexytime

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 19:11:03 +0000

My wife tells me all the time I'm too nice.

Wonkette : Nation's Sexiest Supervisor in Meth-Fueled Sex-Tape Sexytime

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 18:13:53 +0000

Don't bother looking for the sex tape online, everybody. Goddammit.

Wonkette : George W. Bush Apologizes To Muslim Country For Killing Korans

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 18:08:29 +0000

Yikes! No one else type Mohammed! Three times and we're all dead! Oh, shit-

Wonkette : George W. Bush Apologizes To Muslim Country For Killing Korans

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 16:39:38 +0000

I mean, on the one hand I think that the actions of those troops were ridiculous and culturally insensitive. Pretty fucking stupid. You know? On the other hand, it's kind of funny if you know that Mohammed couldn't read or write.

Wonkette : Science Proves Rich People Are Generally Evil

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:58:24 +0000

Well, considering the front page ad has informed me that I am "today's winner," you all can expect me to be masturbating all over everything everywhere* the moment I collect my WINNINGS. *What? Masturbating all over everything everywhere is pretty much the pinnacle of privileges afforded the rich. Don't look at me. I don't make the rules. Yet.

Wonkette : Why Won't Afghanistan Just Listen to Newt Gingrich About Everything?

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 14:48:55 +0000

I was a foreigner to Afghanistan way before Newt Gingrich came along and made it cool.

Wonkette : Embryos Greet Defeat Of Virginia’s Personhood Bill With Eerie Silence

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:51:55 +0000

Put down the cheeseburgers and do something embryos! Fat little jerks.

Crasstalk : Crate Digging #5 - That Was Then, This is Twee

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:05:58 +0000

God I love Television Personalities. I've never been much for twee, but man that band kills me.

Wonkette : Don’t Worry, Chris Christie’s Gay Friends Know He’s ‘Not Bigoted’

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 23:22:07 +0000

That's because he has all the stomach.

Wonkette : Santorum, Cumming, Blasts ... Weird Rick Still Making Headlines Gross

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 18:08:36 +0000

I guess he'd have to be a top, huh.

Wonkette : Breitbart Shill Wonders: How Is An Ultrasound Different Than Sex?

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:06:33 +0000

Plus, you don't have to wipe off your belly after the doctor pulls out.

Wonkette : Breitbart Shill Wonders: How Is An Ultrasound Different Than Sex?

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:04:23 +0000

OMG I totally got a boner just THINKING about transvaginal ultrasounds.

Wonkette : Aspirin Has Other Exciting Off-Label Use Ladies Will Want To Know About

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 01:19:03 +0000

Not the ones who love Jesus, anyway.

Wonkette : Gingrich Bus Breaks Down In West Hollywood, Everyone Laughs

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 23:25:12 +0000

There is no way Newt's huge fucking head fits into that bus.