en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/601286 Comments by TheLioness http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/10/the-audacity-of-bastards/#IDComment46825520 He's generally not too sensitive. We dated for about 3 years and remained friends for years after that, so we do all the usual- we go out to eat, shop together, movies, cook together, hell, I usually make him wash my hair because he's really good at it. I wouldn't consider it dating because we've known each other for so long that it's almost just second nature? And yeah, we know each other's families. I talk to his mom. My mom used to braid his hair when he was growing it out. So, there's a lot of history between us. But a few weeks before this went down, we were talking about my dating life and I was telling him what I was looking for (which didn't describe him at all) and he was like "well, I feel like I could be that kind of person" and I kind of ignored it. I figured he was baiting me. My friends say he was hinting. I say that's bs. Fri, 11 Dec 2009 22:08:16 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/10/the-audacity-of-bastards/#IDComment46825520 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/10/the-audacity-of-bastards/#IDComment46825080 Ms. SFS! Welcome Back! That may be the best way to get his attention but right now, I don't even want it. If he can let our friendship go like that, then yeah I'm a little upset, but to hell with him. Fri, 11 Dec 2009 22:02:17 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/10/the-audacity-of-bastards/#IDComment46825080 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/10/the-audacity-of-bastards/#IDComment46824993 I agree- I think that his ego may be a little bruised. I just hate that he can't get over it enough to remain friends. Especially when I've gotten over so much stuff he's said/done and kept the friendship going. Fri, 11 Dec 2009 22:01:00 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/10/the-audacity-of-bastards/#IDComment46824993 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/07/what-about-your-friends/#IDComment46175098 Let the record show that The Lioness was not the friend in question in ANY of these scenarios. LOL! Mon, 7 Dec 2009 17:45:31 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/12/07/what-about-your-friends/#IDComment46175098 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699946 Welcome Labellabutterfly!!! No you can't have both- lol! But a question just came to me. What does security mean to you? Because couldn't passion be its own security? Like, if you still feel that same smoldering heat with that person ten years down the road- isn't that an indication of that person's desire and love for you. Wouldn't knowing that that person stills feels that deeply for you emotionally be its own form of security? Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:59:51 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699946 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699677 I agree GI. I think that if you aren't getting the warm fuzzies after a year into your relationship then maybe it's time to move on. I don't believe that every man that gives you those tingles is the right man for you. Just that the ones who don't are the wrong men. Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:55:57 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699677 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699549 Never saw BoMC so I may need to check that out. I definitely see the benefits of having a stable relationship. However, -in my mind, passion isn't just pleasing each other sexually but just a vibe you have around each other- being able to read each other's thoughts, holding conversations without words. If being able to sit around with a person we can talk to is all that we ever strove for, then wouldn't we all be married right now???? Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:54:10 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699549 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699383 Go Ms. Dee! I'm on Team Jacob-- I mean Team Pink too! Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:51:34 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/24/passion-vs-security/#IDComment44699383 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40906789 I think it was more about his stupidity rather than her skill. *sigh at another hoodwinked black man. I definitely think we should go into marriage with a long term view. However, I believe that a man's responsibility to provide for you ends when the marriage does. Marriage is not supposed to be like work- alimony is not your unemployment check. I wouldn't ask for it but hell if they put one in the mail for me..... let's just say my momma ain't raise no fool- lol Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:14:16 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40906789 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40906241 I agree with you Ms. Nikks. But Ms. Dee brought up a good point. How does that get divided if there are children involved and the custodial parent is the one at the disadvantage? I'm still sorting through that one. What are your thoughts? Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:06:38 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40906241 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40861922 I agree it would be harsh. And if I were in that position, I would want some sort of compensation/revenge (especially if my husband caused the divorce by his own infidelity) but despite what I would want, I didn't earn it so I don't deserve it. Adding kids changes things for me. I don't think the kids should have to suffer because of their parents' failures. But I don't think the custodial parent should benefit either. I say take the child's expenses- split them 50/50. If you can't keep up your end then that's where it becomes muddled. It would definitely be a case by case thing for me where there would have to be some sort of deal worked out about living arrangements, etc. But even with that being said, it won't be the same as living with that person. It's not fair to the kids but sometimes we (even children) are going to get dealt a raw hand in life. Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:24:44 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40861922 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40861345 I agree with you 100% (hence the thumbs up to your comment). Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:18:46 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/27/pre-nups-a-gold-diggers-insurance-policy/#IDComment40861345 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/23/mr-extra-hand/#IDComment40774181 I believe any woman who wants to fight me over a man wants him a whole helluva lot more than I do and she can have him. And who the hell did she think she was? A mere mortal trying to battle a goddess? Please!!!! Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:31:12 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/23/mr-extra-hand/#IDComment40774181 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/23/mr-extra-hand/#IDComment40774052 I definitely like your approach. You didn't get on the phone with ole girl and go off. You went to him and told him to handle it because that's how it's supposed to be. He's your contact, just like he's hers. If you two have issues because of him then that needs to go through him to resolve. I hate when a guy is a punk and let's his girl be all up in someone else's face over some stuff involving him. He's supposed to man up and squash it. Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:30:03 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/23/mr-extra-hand/#IDComment40774052 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/23/mr-extra-hand/#IDComment40773793 "I had to print all the times she contacted me and save them in case I needed to include the law" Smart move, Ms Nikks. I think you should put that post back up. I didn't get a chance to read it :-( Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:27:09 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/23/mr-extra-hand/#IDComment40773793 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/07/fuck-the-radio/#IDComment39987761 Consider yourself lucky if you haven't heard them. Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:16:18 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/07/fuck-the-radio/#IDComment39987761 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/07/fuck-the-radio/#IDComment39987712 Well props for burning Letoya and not buying. THAT would have been unacceptable. I used to like Plies too back when he was singing "Shawty" but then he got too raunchy for me. Gucci, Gucci, Gucci. I just like Wasted. Everything else is whatever so feel free to diss him at will. Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:15:43 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/07/fuck-the-radio/#IDComment39987712 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/07/fuck-the-radio/#IDComment39987534 He just put out a new song. I don't think Papers got enough positive feedback because he released his next one with the quickness. Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:14:10 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/07/fuck-the-radio/#IDComment39987534 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/15/irrational-illogical-downright-unruly/#IDComment39987293 Ok so there's a double standard there, yes. It is what is. I can say that I never laid my hands on him again after that though. As a side note, comments like "I'm coming back to undress your half naked roommate" are EXACTLY why men get slapped in the first place. SOME of you deserve it. Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:12:24 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/15/irrational-illogical-downright-unruly/#IDComment39987293 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/21/the-black-draft/#IDComment39987069 Good point but I think you'd be hard pressed to convince that judge that his people originated in Africa. Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:10:21 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/21/the-black-draft/#IDComment39987069