TheImplication

TheImplication

70p

16 comments posted · 7 followers · following 0

213 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +2 points

I followed Jason Segel for a LONG TIME before I realized I knew him from the television and not from some other circumstance where it would be acceptable to speak to him. I kind of wish I had a video of my squawk of realization and about-face!

213 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +2 points

The first few times somebody mentioned an "Escape the Room" thing to me, I thought you were literally just locked in a room and had to escape, which sounded claustrophobic and dangerous. Someone finally explained that there are puzzles and stuff, which sounds way more fun, but still, every time I hear about them, I have a brief moment of panic and terror at the idea of being trapped in a tiny room with a bunch of other people.

213 weeks ago @ The Toast - The Brush Off: The Ear... · 0 replies · +8 points

This is only tangentially related, but I am currently pregnant, and obviously at first it is an embryo and then it becomes a fetus, and when that happened, I walked into the room where my husband was having breakfast and shouted, "SIDUS LAPIDUS, IT'S A FETUS!" and then laughed for, like, ten minutes while he stared blankly because he is British and does not understand anything.

213 weeks ago @ The Toast - The Brush Off: The Ear... · 0 replies · +2 points

I don't understand how people keep them up around their waists. I have one pair, and it is elastic all the way through, and my thigh-to-waist ratio is maybe bigger than most people's? As in, I have thick, muscular thighs, and a...well, not a small waist, but proportional to my thighs, it is small, I guess. So I end up with my thighs and butt holding up my jeans while they droop around my waist and have to constantly be hiked up.

213 weeks ago @ The Toast - The Brush Off: The Ear... · 0 replies · +3 points

That ad was the centerpiece in my high school religion teacher's unit on SEX IN ADVERTISING AND WHY IT IS EVIL. We all had to bring in examples (just dishearteningly easy to find), but none of them were as hilariously blatant as the rocket-penis.

214 weeks ago @ The Toast - If Cate Blanchett Were... · 0 replies · +2 points

The trouble is that the bottom of my to-do list gets really heavy with crossed-off items while the top remains undone. I feel like that makes it obvious that I have sort of cheated.

214 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +7 points

I have strong feelings of hatred toward sparkling water in general, flavored or no, due to the number of times I have taken a large swig of delicious, refreshing water only to find that it is sparkling water and I am basically pouring wet sand down my throat. You cannot re-hydrate yourself with that shit; it is, at best, a sipping distraction.

Also I live in Sweden now, and they hide real water amidst the sparkling with ZERO INDICATION of which is which. So I'll go to the grocery after a run and suspiciously poke at and shake a bunch of bottles until I find one that says "natural" and does not froth when shaken, and I'll buy it, and IT IS STILL SPARKLING WTF.

214 weeks ago @ The Toast - Reasons I Would Make A... · 1 reply · +7 points

Apparently one winds a horn like the blowing of wind in the trees, not like the winding of a windy staircase, which is just blowing my mind right now. It makes complete sense - obviously you blow into a horn with your breath, which is like the wind - but I had always thought you wound a horn.

There is no good way to differentiate between these words.

216 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +3 points

Yeah, I think there is a big difference between taking issue with the idea that the only way to gain power in a group is through celibacy and arguing that celibacy is always THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE. I would totally be on board with a priesthood that allowed marriage but had celibate sects, for example.

216 weeks ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +1 points

Ugh, they introduced us without telling us they were going to do that. Fortunately I managed to whisper-scream that I hadn't taken his name, so they just introduced us as our first names. But still, we had talked to everybody outside the church AND at the drinks reception outside the venue before dinner, so it was really fucking weird to have them introduce us and have everyone stand up and applaud.