en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/626570 Comments by TheAbyss http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119262 "There is nothing wrong with liking what you like." I understand that completely. However, if I heard a white person say I don't date black people because I like what I like, then how many of us would be quick to call that person racist? Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:07:39 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119262 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119210 I guess that's the thing. He kept questioning me for so long that it felt that after a point it became less about curiousity and more about challenging me- trying to prove that what I was doing was nonsensical- as if I was just wrong for doing it.... maybe I am overthinking this whole thing................................. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:06:33 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119210 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119124 Haha! I think you don't get it because you are in New York. I mean really who DO yall speak to up there? Ewww "how do you like that meat?". Sorry I would have walked out on that comment. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:04:37 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119124 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119082 Yeah I tried to be patient with him but it wore thin real quick because some conversations I just don't feel I should have to have. I want to be with someone who just understands. When I date a guy, I already have to explain this is why I feel XYZ because I am a woman. Now on top of that I have to explain that I feel ABC way because I'm black too? Too much! Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:03:31 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44119082 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44118995 I wasn't tripping off the fact that he asked. What annoyed me was that apparently my explanation wasn't good enough because he kept badgering me about it . I don't want to have to explain myself for hours on end everytime he discovers a part of my culture that is alien to him. Accept it as how we are and move on. I don't ask him why some of his ppl can't seem to catch the beat if I threw it at them. (Ok maybe I'm slightly wrong for that comment but that's how I feel). Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:01:45 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/11/18/part-3-white-men-black-women/#IDComment44118995 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299916 LOL- I'm getting ready to write about it now. Sphinx & Lioness won't get off my back about it. Haha. Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:52:58 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299916 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299868 Thanks Danielle. I'll keep you posted.;) Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:51:53 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299868 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299840 My mom is supportive of any man that has a job so I am not worried about her- lol. I'm more so worried about my dad and my extended family finding out. I know we only went on one date and it's nothing serious but I can hear them talking now. They already say I try to "act white" and that I've forgotten where I come from. They'd be my biggest hurdle if we get that far into the race. I'm not even going to THINK about the sex right now. I am barely comfortable being seen in public with him. Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:51:25 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299840 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299736 I thought the same thing: What would we have in common?But what I realized is that it's not necessarily the things we have in common that's important but just finding someone who can appreciate a different point of view or who is willing to experience new things. I am still apprehensive about the future. You know what if I have one of THOSE days at work? How's he going to understand? But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:49:09 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299736 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299459 LOL- Thanx for stopping by Jimmy. Your site is hilarious! Welcome to the PMS Family. Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:44:50 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/10/09/the-date-white-men-black-women/#IDComment38299459 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment30169765 Why did you feel weird about the situation? Was it just the chemistry between the two of you or was it an issue of your worrying how people around you would perceive the situation? Sun, 9 Aug 2009 18:23:42 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment30169765 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment30169366 Yes- I am kind of skeptical about their motivations for dating white women. Especially, if their desire is driven by the stereotypes they see in music videos and BET shows. Maybe I am wrong, but I often feel that they view us as purely sexual creatures, freaks even. I could be way off base but comments I see online like "BET got me feenin" make me more hesitant about dating them. But that also makes me wonder about our own self-perceptions. Why do we feel this way? Why don't we think that they are slowly recognizing the strength, beauty, and grit of the black women? Are we, in some way, devaluing ourselves by automatically assuming that they can't be attracted to us in anything other than a vengeful or sexual way? Sun, 9 Aug 2009 18:18:01 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment30169366 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment30076909 I completely understand what you mean by "UMPH". I don't know what it is exactly, but I just don't really get all hot and bothered over any one but a black man. Why (or what) is that? and why don't we possess that same "UMPH" in their eyes? Sat, 8 Aug 2009 20:23:10 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment30076909 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment29952938 I'm in the Midwest along with The Sphinx and it seems like dudes here are on some model/ super swagged out type vibe. I am really a jeans & t-shirt/ sweats rocking type chick- on an everyday comfort over fashion type deal (except when I'm really trying to go out which isn't very often) and that's just the black men that are INTO black women- which I've found that most aren't. It's "we're mean" and "we're demanding" and other such nonsense and I've heard that straight from their mouths. It just seems that up here white men are more up for the "challenge". Fri, 7 Aug 2009 16:16:31 +0000 http://www.passmeashovel.com/2009/08/07/bet-got-me-feenin-from-random-white-guy/#IDComment29952938