Recapping my semester taking this class is very hard. There were so many discussions we had that really stuck with me and changed the way I look at things. The main this that has changed for me is the way I look at confrontation, I think many times when we are faced with confrontation we automatically have to pick a side. Whether that is your side or their side we constantly feel the need to relate or disagree with one side of the other. When in reality the way to approach confrontation is to understand both sides, to understand yourself as well as the other involved. Confrontation is going to happen whether you want it to or not, but we can minimize the occurrence or impact confrontation has by focusing on an understanding of one another. To understand why it is happened, how it came to be and what is trying to be accomplished by the confrontation. Confrontation can become a very positive thing, something that can allow people to grow, create a common ground and even unit people. But that is not possible if you choose to focus solely on the confrontation itself, there needs to be a focus on understanding one another. Often times we talked about confrontation in regards to race and reflecting on the “big picture” of groups of people. By doing this what I have realized is that individuals can make a difference, make and impact and make a change. That one people you meet can change your views on a whole race, gender or any other group of people that prior to that experience you may have generalized about. This can go both in positive and negative ways and the impact plays on both sides in a give and take mentality. Just as you may be impacted by someone, you influence that person potentially just as much, interactions are double sided and never just about you. On another note I have realized that people often times perceive themselves in a different light than that of their reality. This challenges me to question what I believe myself to be just as I question others or others may question me. There were many things I agreed with Sam on and many things I did not, but that is the beauty of interactions, you are not meant to agree on everything. Each person has a different story, different foundation and different make up for who they are, building their opinion and values that have created the beautiful person they are today. Just as each person is different so will be there opinions and views on life, I have learned to find the beauty in our differences.

Personally I have never been intimate with an individual of a race different than my own. It is not that I am raciest or think that I am too good for someone who is of color but that I simply was never exposed to that many black people growing up. That does not mean that I am opposed to it either. What may be factoring into my lack of attraction towards a black male is the correlation of societies approval of an inter racial couple. If you grow up in a society where inter-racial dating is common you are exposed to it in a more positive way. I was not exposed to inter-racial dating in a positive or negative way growing up, it simply never crossed my mine. To say that by being a white girl you automatically do not want intimate relations with someone of color is an over generalization that is much more valid on the individual. It is very uncommon to interact with someone you’ve never met or formally introduced, it seems this assumption is coming from an observation rather than person experience. I believe that our generation put a high importance on a persons personality, values and individuality leaving race as a very mute aspect in being attracted to someone. Every black male that I have met since moving away from home has become a good friend of mine, many of whom I am attracted to not because they’re black but because they have awesome personalities. What I do see is a lack of commitment between a black male in a relationship with a white girl, I think both are usually more insecure about their relationship because of their concern of societies approval. A fear of judgment or criticisms not only from society but also their family and friends, the ones whom they care most about. A positive is that within the last fifty years inter-racial dating has become much more common and much less taboo across the United States. I think the reason people have a hard time interacting with the opposite gender when they are also of a different race is because they do not have an open mind to exposing themselves to this situation. If people were to have an open mind about whom they are attracted to they would exposed themselves to situations like this and eventually become more comfortable with it. Our society has already come so far in acceptance of other cultures but we need to push forward to raise the bar of the standards we set for ourselves and never settle for what is simply “comfortable” to us.

As we have progress throughout the semester I have learned a lot about myself through the topic we have discussed and the view points I have listen to. I have come to the understanding that conversation is truly an art that paints a picture for a better understanding of the people around us and different from ourselves. There are many factors that contribute to how an individual is defined and it is through those factors an the stories associated with them that we engage in conversation. Just as each person is different so are the contributors and the weight each person puts on their contributors importance within their own definition of themselves. By engaging in conversation we not only gain a better understanding for those whom are different or similar to us but we in turn start to develop a further understanding of ourselves.
With each conversation I begin to understand the lives of each person are very different from my own and there are many different factors that build the people each of us are today. Living a life raised with daily conflict you’d instantly believe that a person would shut off and not know how to life their life without fear or the ability to escape the conflict because that is all they’ve ever known. However in contrast I have come to understand that many people have nothing of the sort but rather lives his life with the understanding is simply just there. In a sense that the conflict within Gaza is similar to the air we breath, it holds a strong hold on our lives and we cannot ignore that it is there weather we wish it or not but we do not go through each day taking it in as best we can but rather co-exists with it. I’ve began to understand my own life through this and the dependence I put on resolving the conflict within my life rather that putting an importance on living my life taking the conflict in. Regardless the extend of the conflict within out lives there will always be conflict, builds and shapes the people we are by striving and over coming the conflict, but it is not how we over come conflict it is how we live co-existing with it.
Within out class discussions each week we all have grown to better understand each other and although we are all American we are each very different just as we are different from people from other races. When we interact on different topics each week we naturally have different opinions that we explain and voice which was something I was expecting out of the class. What I was not expecting was to learn so much about other people through listening no only to what each individual has to say but also the response they receive from others. This response opens my eyes to the understanding that I can grow and understand by interacting with people one on one but also interacting with people in a third party sense. Having multiple people in a conversation you are able to listen to the opinions and reactions of others that you would else wise never think about. I became exposed to the idea that with each conversation many opinions and reactions will intertwine and impact me differently.

Our class lecture on sexuality was very interesting this week. I found it very eye opening to see the classes reaction to the way in which Sam looks at sexuality and society. I also found it was heart warming to know that through all the years that Sam has taught this class he has seen a strong improvement in the acceptance of homosexuality. Growing up is a very small town in Colorado I find it very hit or miss when it comes to acceptance of homosexuality. Those who are exposed to it and personally know someone whom identifies as gay or lesbian often are more accepting. You would think that people whom are in more contact with the “gay life style” would be more opposed to it however it is most always the opposite. People that are the most opinionated about homosexuality are usually the ones to never have it affect their live before. Someone who has personally known someone that identifies as gay or lesbian find it easier to understand that this is not a choice for these people but simply the way they are. They see these people as not gay but as people, as individuals, one that just as their eye color did not choose to be the person they are who be attracted to they sex they are attracted to. Sam made the interesting point that a 4 year old can not choose to be feminine or choose to feel gay, but it happens. It scares me to think that there are so many people out there wanting to come out to the world but are not because society feels they are choosing this lifestyle. I personally have not came out to my family an many friends that I am bisexual simply because I do not want them to think differently of me, that the aspect of me being honest with them about my sexuality changes me in some way. That by me physically speaking the words some how the person I have always been will change instantly. When I have been this way my whole life, suppressing my attraction to women and telling my self to be with men, the feelings are not knew the emotions have always been there regardless if I wanted them to or not. It is so hard to come out as say this is me and who I have always been when the topic of sexuality is too often pair with being called confused or in a phase. How can you say that something you have battles with your entire life trying to suppress is a phase or that finding the courage to come out and tell the people you love simply that you are confused. How are you confused when simply put you are physically attracted to both males and females, it is plain and simple you are aroused it is not something you can control no matter how hard you try or wish.

When we talked in class about how donations to third world countries often times benefit not the country in need but the country donating I instantly understood. Many times when people want to help people in need they think it is best to simply give everything to the people in need rather than teaching them a way to sustain themselves. By giving people in need everything they become dependent on that support, the goods and the services that rush in very quickly. Products that are created in dominating countries benefit from the creation and selling of their product regardless upon who is buying that said product. When people buy products in their country, that country benefits despite that it is being given to people in need. It is much more beneficial to aid countries by investing in a program that allows the country to rebuild them selves and to one day sustain their country one their own. The creations of things like schools and hospitals allows the people in that country learn and survive by their own dependence. When you hear that a majority of donations are coming back to the United States and not actually benefiting the country in poverty is honestly heart breaking. I can’t help but wonder and hope that this is not something planned but that it happens without peoples understanding of what they are actually doing. If there was a way to educate people prior to them making donations they could adequately donate to organizations that truly and solely benefit what their are donating too. People can have the knowledge of being informed what their donations are specifically going to and why they are going to the specific cause. People who donate and care about countries in poverty need to also be informed not only of what is being done but what is going to happen next, what the next project is. School, hospitals and farmers need to be supported because in third world countries, all they have ever known is poverty, they do not know how to support themselves adequately. Many times all these third world countries have is a very basic way to sustain life, many times this basic way is hurting them more than helping them simply because they have become dependent on the support of other countries that the little amount they know gets lost. Over all I think the solution to this social problem is supporting and educating the people donating so that they understand where their donations are going and why. The people donating are blindly crippling countries through their generosity and if they are educated to donate to a cause that shows how your donation is making a difference you connect the people donating with those in need.

Growing up I was always taught to never judge people for their appearance and to always look for the best in people. The golden rule of treating other as you wish to be treated. But is it really possible to never judge the people you encounter throughout life? A persons physical appearance can speak for so much of their personality and culture. Society teaches us many social expectations for what is acceptable and regardless if we consciously choose to accept these social norms we unconsciously accept them until we take a step back to really break down why judgment happens. Naturally there are many we cannot help but to feel, for example an instant reaction of more comfort toward the blonde female in this group. Naturally we find comfort in people familiar to our selves and what people currently make us feel safe happy and accepted. Many people have a close connection with their mothers and thus naturally that perception is mirror when there is only one female in a group with three other males, we find more comfort to the female. Just as we judge to find what makes us attracted to certain people we also judge into grouping certain people together. Within this group there are three similar black males, and innately I find it hard to define one different from the other. Which brings me to wonder if there were males of different cultures or even a different skin color besides three black males if I would do the same for say three asian or Hispanic males. People constantly talk about how judging people is wrong or “don’t judge me” but that doesn’t make it doesn’t happen, it is a constant occurrence with every single interaction that is had each day. Regardless if these encounters are on a formal bases or simply a glance as you walk by someone, physical appearance defines so much in our society. The greatest area for the crime of judgement is what makes a persona physically attracted to other people. What we depict as pretty or handsome stems from what we also find socially acceptable. Many people in our generation talk about “swag” stemming from a persons clothing straight to their personality. Any people can physically change how they look with what they wear and how they act they empower themselves to break free and take control of the judgment they do not ask for. In turn the control they take is putting them self out there some what intentionally to make people judge them to either prove them wrong and thats their judgements are wrong, or prove them right. Regardless as to weather we as a society wish for judgement to happen or not judgement will always be apart of our lives.

In class the other day, I thought it was really eye opening to bring to light the idea of owning land and how in which we came to owning that land. Weather the original land owner should be initialed to their land of if the person whom enabled themselves to take that land should be able to call it theirs. What would make it right for someone is physically forced off their land and are they initialed to get it back. Additionally should that original land owners children or even grandchildren have the right to their families land? At first I was unsure simply because I was questioning what really makes that person the original owner and who is to dictate that they had not previously taken that land from another person of culture. Aside from looking deeper into this question I agree with the right to allow the children and grandchildren to be in the right and entitlement to take back their land. When you apply this same situation to say a stolen bike, should the person who has stolen the bike be in the right to entitlement or the original owner? In this example it is plan to see that the original owner with out question is entitled to their property. When we look at the issue of land, I do not think we can really give back the land to the Native Americans. We talked in class about the reservations and that the land that had been given to the Native Americans they then sold to companies, loosing their ability and entitlement to that land. This brings me to question if there is simply a strong cultural difference with the idea of owning land, I wonder if Native Americans even feel that owning land is like owning nature, you cannot own something that is wild and free. Logically we cannot give back the land that the Native Americans once lived on, but I do believe we should expand their reservations and give them the necessary support to build a sustainable life. Simply because the way the Native American currently are living does not mean we cannot change for the better and improvement overall for their people. We cannot go back and undo the past but we can correct our future by investing in making something wrong right. American as a country has done many wrong things within our history but we are a country that is willing and able to fix our wrong doings. Regardless of our past our present situation is a group of people that is in trouble and in need of help from our country, we need to do something before anything gets worse.

Before our class lecture on affirmative action I had not really given the idea much thought. I have obviously her about affirmative action in regards to many different situations that ultimately allows all people to be on a equal playing field and to support the success of all people. I believe that affirmative action allows for there to be change, a change to correct and improve life for all people. Although I have no real emotional attachment to affirmative action I do feel it’s justification in being implemented and it is an important step that needed to be taken. We are a country build on freedom, equality and justice but that has been lost because we are blinded by selfishness, racism and fear. Fear that for one persons dream of success to come to that it compromises our own dreams that in turn develops into selfishness and racism. For the true success of our country every citizen has a right to freedom, equality and justice but unfortunately our rights can indirectly be taken from us. Affirmative action allows our country to correct itself, to remember what our country was build on and restore what is right for all people. Sam brought up the point in class about the end to slavery and the repercussions of Jim Crow that followed for years after. That despite the end to slavery not all things were equal, the blacks were set free from slavery but provided with no way to support themselves. The black people were set up for failure and potentially even extermination, they were not created equal, receive freedom or justice. The present struggle for black homes and their gross family income are drastically affected by the past. Although I can truly understand the concept behind affirmative action when it is explained by stories of our past and the struggle for equality for blacks and women it is hard for me to understand the struggle with the white males. However when you break it down and look at the fact that every white male is not the same you can see that they each struggled for their own equality. The Irish and the Polish are only a few of the groups of people that had to go through the struggle to make a living, support their families and make a better life for themselves and their children. They struggled for their freedom, justice and equality without the aid of affirmative action. But is it right to just let things be and continue simply because that is the way it has always been? Or is it right to stand up and make a change for what is truly right and just. A progressive change for what is right.

In Dr. Sam Richards class on Tuesday we began the discussion on working hard verse knowing the right people in relation to “getting rich”. It was interesting to think of the two as separate entities both not effecting one another but rather competing against one another. In the perspective of each race standing in a hierarchy on the stairs in class we could easily see that “getting rich” is a competition and one that certain races are born into with advantages severely out weighing what other races are born into. The discussion that when one race catches up to where another race was they have already progressed higher because they simply had a higher starting point. People went back and forth trying to speak their piece but in reality they were spilling, bouncing back and forth between how working hard and having connections are related. The two are without a doubt related however I feel like Sams question was not designed for us to find an answer to that given question but open our eyes to the reality of the income between different races within the United States and to show us that you cannot justify it, but understand why is it like that. That a race is given advantages that people are born into and from that starting point regardless of their hard work or connections they are going to come out ahead of another race whom had a lower starting point then them. It was even clearer to see when Sam put up the statistics that this is a true social fact and that there can be stories that are different but we have to look at society patterns are a whole not just individuals. Across the board we can see that this is happening and about the only thing someone can do to move from the bottom to the top is to marry in. When the comment was made that marriage was basically the only way to move up the stairs ti where the other races where got me really thinking. Mainly thinking about how critical family income is and how hard it must be to break that social norm to marry someone in a lower social class than your own. In reality we want to not be shallow and hope that love means more than race and money, but are those just stories? How often do we as a society truly have that happen and why is it so that we fight to protect what we have not for our selves but to keep it from the others chasing us. Just as I was thinking about this Sam brought up the topic of locking up “your shit” and why do you do it? You do it to keep other people out and keep other people from taking it, this is across the board from the richest to the poorest.

This past week in class Dr. Sam Richards talked about how women are not allowed to freely grow body hair without shaving. After showing pictures I really didn’t believe that there were people who don’t shave their body hair. I was surprised to hear girls speak in class saying they did not shave there legs. It got me very interested in looking deeper at our society and how often what is natural is deemed as wrong. That what is natural needs to be changed and perfected. began to question how I really felt about myself and if they were my choices or choices I make because of societal norms. The question why do I shave? The example of body hair and women is something I have never really questioned before. I like the feeling of fresh smooth legs and armpits but more than that shaving is annoying, potentially painful and expensive. For me it is “natural” to shave just as it is natural to shower. It is a natural instinct to notice when people do no shave and judgement usually follows. A social norm is typically never questioned and accepted for being the right thing. It is very hard to stray away from what everyone thinks is right and do what you truly feel is right by your own judgement. Girls that do not shave their legs are looked down upon, people are instantly disgusted and turned off by it. This is an example of many issues where it is hard and not okay to think differently than society. It is also interesting to think that in many countries women do not shave their body hair and that it is a very “american” social expectation. It is also interesting to look at the fact that males are not expected to do the same. That they can freely naturally grow their body hair and if they were to save it would be looked down upon by society. There are certain features that both men and women have that makes them physically attractive. Society tells us what to look like, how to dress, how to think and act while deeming us wrong when we choose other wise. If a person goes against these social norms many times they are a bad person, trouble maker, weird or just plan different. When in reality should everyone be different and have the freedom to be? We should be happy and free to be what ever person we so choose, it is a very naive idea that every women should look the same. From now on I will really question why I do certain things and if it is truly because I choose to or because society telling me what is right or wrong.