en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2394680 Comments by Shibby5005 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/transgendered-complications/#IDComment142929524 If El’Jai Devoureau has been a man his whole life, then who are we to question it? What authority do we have over his life and the way it is run? Simply said, we have no ability to tell him what he can and can’t do. However, in his recent incident with his job, somebody tried to do that. The sad thing is, she just might get away it. From the article, it clearly sounds like El’Jai was fired because of his sexual orientation. Being born female, he classifies himself (as he has his entire life) as male. His birth certificate, driver’s license, and even the social security administration all say he is a male. So why does it become such an issue that he was once, I suppose technically, a woman? The company that fired him, Urban Treatment Associates, states that his firing “was not motivated by, nor related in any way to, any discriminatory intention.” El’Jai states that as soon as his boss found out about the possibility of El’Jai having undergone surgery, and not even that he had but solely that he wished to not talk about it, he was let go. To me it clearly sounds like a case of discrimination; how could it possibly not? New Jersey laws ban job discrimination and Mr. Devoureau’s case falls right into that category (I suppose it being gender identity and expression). However, when it comes to going to court, it might be a much tougher battle than he planned on. I can see it being rough for Mr. Devoureau to prove that he was indeed fired because of his sexual orientation; it seems much easier for Urban Treatment Associates to somehow state that he was fired because of some sort of improper conduct at work. However, I obviously do not know anything about him nor the company so I am interested in seeing how this case plays out. The firing itself sounds extremely unfair and biased. I really do hope the best happens for Mr. Devoureau, for it seems like he is a nice man who simply wants to have his job back. It’s not like his sexual identity gets in the way of his job, despite what his company might say. So how is any of this truly justifiable? Thu, 14 Apr 2011 22:05:18 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/transgendered-complications/#IDComment142929524 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment140295108 C. seems to have made an enormous transformation in understanding both himself and the world around him since being incarcerated. Citing that he was once a “no good, low down, trifling man,” he speaks for those in the world, now including himself, that are the total opposite. In his writing he examines what it means to be a real man. The very first thing noted in his writing is having respect for women. In a relationship, no matter old or new, every man should treat a woman properly and with the utmost respect; the woman always comes first. Whether she needs protection, encouragement, or someone to talk to, her man should always be there for her; in his world, she comes first. I completely agree with C. here. What kind of man should ever disrespect or not be there for his significant other? Whether it be a relationship or the first date, the man should always show reverence and admiration (and, of course, mean it). There is absolutely no reasoning that gives a man any control over both himself and his date. He has no right to treat her wrongly or with carelessness; there is no reason she should deserve that. When C. talks about how men should be able to open up, it reminded me of the World in Conversation gender discussions we signed up for. In my group I was the “target” for a series of questions relating to men opening up and sharing feelings. While many males have issues with doing so, perhaps seeing it as being less manly or insecure, I have no problem with it. We are all humans; if we feel we have to share something, there’s no reason as to why we should feel inclined not to do so, especially by our peers. It is interesting that it took so long for C. to figure all of this out. He mentions being brainwashed by society, which really can be easily seen all around us (for example, in the one video we watched in class on females in music videos). In those videos it seems as though women take the abuse or control without retaliating, almost feeling honored to be there entirely. I believe we can all agree that it is obviously a problem that continues to expand over time. As we continue to see such media presented to us we have to act more like C. and attempt to understand the improperness of it all, while at the same time examining our own lives and behavior. Wed, 6 Apr 2011 00:24:26 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment140295108 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment138962150 I believe C. does a great job of attempting to get the reader to understand how prison life is a lifestyle those on the outside can never truly understand without experiencing it firsthand. Whether it be the type of people incarcerated or the way they make or break connections with both the outside world and within jail itself, it is a difficult concept for us to comprehend. “People grow older, they die, they move; so many things happen that it’s difficult for a person to “stay in the loop”.” It makes perfect sense to understand that if one is in prison it must be exceptionally difficult to truly keep in contact with those on the outside. Family, friends, acquaintances; I can’t imagine how arduous it must be to stay in the loop with people especially as their lives mature and change outside of your grasp and sight. Reading this simple line from C.’s letter truly made me ponder the situation more than I ever have before. While in jail, anything can happen to anybody out in the world; family can pass away, friends may wed and have children, the possibilities are truly endless. To be unknowing of all that goes on, despite possibly maintaining contact to a certain degree, is a scary thought. It makes perfect sense that some inmates and staff would come to be like family for inmates. If you are stuck in a place with somebody long enough you’ll learn to get along and rely on one another; in a place like jail, especially serving a life sentence, there really isn’t anyone else in your life as prevalent and understanding as your fellow inmates. It’s sad to think connections with previous loved ones will dissipate over time but like C. said, “As time goes by and people get older, their responsibilities increase.” No one has control over this; it simply happens. Yet on the flip side, you make so many new connections inside that truly stay with you throughout your life. And when it comes to those connections, I, like C., believe nothing could be any more important. Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:36:23 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment138962150 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/18/m-s-story/#IDComment137105125 This letter really made me think. More specifically, what would happen if I were to be in jail for the rest of my life? The impossibility of having a wife and kids, grandkids, a social life with friends and family. I can’t even imagine what life would be like knowing I could never have those few things. It’s a devastating and frightening thought, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg. It’s clear to see that M wants absolutely no sympathy for anything. He is forever sorry for his action and wants to be clear that he deserves to be where he is. On the night that caused him to end up where he currently is, he decided to do nothing and some people might say they cannot believe he had done nothing to prevent it. Yet, would you have done anything any differently? To be in such a fearful and terrifying situation, would you seriously have the willpower to stand up and run for help? Knowing your life could be on the line? And at such an incredibly young age? I don’t think any of us could seriously answer that. We may say we would run for help but we could never truly know what we would do (unless, god forbid, you have been in a similar situation before). I learned in another SOC class that the best way to learn about ourselves and truly grow up and mature is to learn from our mistakes; this is clearly evident in M’s letter. “My name is M., I was a boy, now I am an inmate. But, between then somewhere I became a man. I learnt honor and integrity, honesty and kindness.” There was one line in his letter that stunned me as I was reading along: “I know if someone told me, “M., if you agree to be killed right now, in the most torturous way possible, your victim’s family will have their one back,” I would do it without hesitation.” Like the concept of doing something the night of the murder, I believe many of us could say this but I truly believe M means it. What a powerful statement that has come from change and understanding. Wed, 23 Mar 2011 22:25:15 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/18/m-s-story/#IDComment137105125 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/15/lgbt-families-theres-a-lot-of-fear-out-there/#IDComment135417385 In his speech against House Joint Resolution 6 in the Iowa House of Representatives, 19-year-old Zach Wahls gives a passionate and moving speech on his stance for gay marriage and the family. Right from the start he makes his main point clear, that being raised by two mothers is no different from being raised by both a mother and father. Growing up in a household run by two women has had no impact on Zach’s life that would occur any differently being raised in a conventional household. He notes how he and his sister have grown up like any other Iowans and how being raised by a gay couple has not affected their lives in any manner. Zach is able to succeed in school, and life for that matter, despite growing up in a household like most others. The belief that gay parents cannot raise their children as well as a conventional set of parents is easily shot down in Zach’s speech; he, physically, is the counterargument to this idea. What proof is out there that states gay couples cannot raise children as well as straight couples? There is no evidence, but merely claims, from those who believe a.) gay marriage is wrong and b.) gay couples cannot properly raise families. It is an ideal that has been instilled in American culture, I would say, pretty much forever, until only recently. In the past few decades openly gay culture has been booming and it becomes stronger and stronger every year. Along with more openly gay culture comes more social acceptance as Americans are now living and growing up in a country where gay tolerance is much more accepted than it was years ago. Although this tolerance level has easily become more apparent in our culture, it still has a long way to go; nonetheless, I believe over the years we will reach a point where gay acceptance is just as common as straight acceptance. However long that may be I cannot say, but I do feel it is slowly making its way there. It really is just a matter of time before people realize they can’t judge something they don’t truly understand. Wed, 16 Mar 2011 22:07:46 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/15/lgbt-families-theres-a-lot-of-fear-out-there/#IDComment135417385 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment131697180 This article brings to a light a great point I’ve personally never thought of when playing the lottery: what happens if I actually win? I never play often and only randomly decide to buy a $1 ticket every now and then but I’ve never truly thought about what I would do if I ended up winning millions of dollars. And this is one of the problems in our society this article is pointing out: none of us necessarily plan enough in the likelihood, the absolutely absurd likelihood, that we do win the lottery. Everywhere from TV shows to news reports we see the glamorous lives of the rich and famous. For the most part we see these men and women living lavish lifestyles we wish we could one day somehow afford. Even less common, but still apparent, we see the darker side of these types of lives. The problems money truly creates among friends, family and others or the dangers of being known to have just received millions of dollars. Whether you end up saving your money or giving it to others, give some thought as to what you would do in such an extreme case like winning the lottery. Like Sam said in class, our personalities, even when our lives our drastically changed by money, will remain the same to some degree. I remember the example given in class with the “hillbilly “couple who spent their, I believe, stolen money on “hillbilly-esque” items for their new house. Even when we think we change, we remain the same as we were before money entered the picture. Of course some things will be altered but for the most part those changes will be related to our old lifestyles in some way. It is the same for the rich who become poor and the poor who become rich. The changes brought in life by money will change our sociological presence in the world but at the same time we will remain who we are and have always been. We can do things with our changed lifestyle that will affect our happiness; perhaps donating our newfound wealth to charities or helping out family members. Or maybe we must go back to a job(s) and barely being able to support our family. Either way, although happiness levels will change, to some extent we are the same man or woman we always have been. A drastic change in wealth can mess around with us but can never truly change who we are. Tue, 1 Mar 2011 21:35:24 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment131697180 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/21/stranger-kidnapping/#IDComment130462394 One story on such a small scale should not play out to the fear of thousands or even millions of Americans. Without a doubt the situation portrayed in the video is frightening and chilling but this instance should not affect the way others handle raising their children. Not to say the idea of “don’t talk to strangers” is a bad one, but simply one should not be influenced so greatly by what the media portrays, especially in our country. Like everyone else, I was taught, probably more so subconsciously, not to talk to strangers. Obviously, when younger, it makes perfect sense and comes back to the general idea of safety when we simply do not know any better. When older we are able to distinguish between right and wrong, at least on a better scale with a better understanding. We should not let the concept of “don’t talk to strangers” run our lives, for we would understand mankind to be inherently evil and untrustworthy. If we grow up on this ideal, how can we ever truly trust another person with the simplest of questions? It is a concept we learn to break out of at a certain age and deal with properly. Going back to the media, this video is just another example of how the media’s goal is to instill fear in our country. It’s no conspiracy or anything of the sort; just watch the news or go online. The top stories are always about murder, violence, etc. When was the last time you saw an article that had anybody laughing in it, or enjoying life for that matter? Especially when it comes to television news, the reports always revolve around violence in neighborhoods and how the townspeople are frightened, much like this video. The focus of media in our country is to scare us and make us fear things we really shouldn’t. Things happen. Every part of the world has its problems, accidents, etc. We can’t let those accidents rule our lives and shouldn’t even let them influence ourselves in the least bit. If something happens in your neighborhood, it’s a different story; if it truly relates to you, it makes perfect sense to have a sense of fear. However, if you know your surroundings well enough, why should there be a reason to fear something that has a very slim chance of actually occurring? Because you saw it on TV? Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:57:29 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/21/stranger-kidnapping/#IDComment130462394 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/15/social-structure-shapes-free-will/#IDComment128623438 PART 2/2 I do find it sad, however, to see how modernization and westernization are taking over their society. It feels like they are losing their culture as they move towards being more like us. Are they going to start seeing marriage as a pact between only two people? Will that be sufficient in providing for their families and surviving as they do now? Or will it ruin everything? Or is this what they want and will it be better for everyone? Moving to China’s case, it seems like polyandry is a likely possibility. Like Sam stated, China’s strict laws resulted in many female babies being killed and now the population of men is easily looming over the number of females. In order to survive, it is easily possible that polyandry will step in. However, I suppose we will have to wait and see if such a thing happens. Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:32:50 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/15/social-structure-shapes-free-will/#IDComment128623438 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/15/social-structure-shapes-free-will/#IDComment128623369 PART 1/2 What a culture shock. To people living in the US a concept like polyandry, or polygamy for that matter, are seen as wrong or inappropriate. We are raised on the belief that marriage should be between two people truly in love and, although now the divorce rate among marriages is essentially 50%, those two should stay married forever. However, it is the Western ideals in our heads that make us see marriage in this light. Those invisible strings teach us about love and marriage, but only for the society we are in. We rarely catch a glimpse of the concept of marriage in other societies. For the most part I do not find polyandry or polygamy wrong, but simply different; I cannot call something I do not fully understand wrong. In this case it sounds like it is a way of life in society. Having a wife take care of the land and husbands to take reign over domestic roles is a complete reversal of what we are used to; however, to them it is nothing out of the ordinary. Like the video stated, it is essentially necessary for the family to survive. If that is the case, who are we to find it immoral? Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:32:32 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/15/social-structure-shapes-free-will/#IDComment128623369 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/04/the-not-so-invisible-structure-that-shapes-us/#IDComment127259615 I personally have never been out of the country and I am truly disappointed. My hopes of studying abroad in Australia fell apart but I continue to tell myself I will travel out of the country someday to get a better view of different locations and cultures around the world. I would love to do it right after I graduate, as a type of “last thing to do before real responsibility sets in” but it’s just so difficult. However, like the article stated, so many factors stand in my way. In the US it is not socially acceptable to take off time after graduation to travel. I would love to do this but the debt I have already built up, and continue to build up, makes me too nervous to spend money to have a good time; even a possible life-changing experience. But I am almost conditioned to feel the need to get a job and work to pay off that debt, always saying later on in my life when I am doing well financially I can take those trips I’ve always wanted to take (which, sadly, probably won’t happen). In the US I have been to the coasts but have never seen the true beauty of our country. The closest thing I have probably come to true diversity in this country is being in New York City. I love the city and never feel out of place so I feel I would be fine in another country. I personally would love to experience firsthand other cultures and can’t really understand why others would not want to. I can easily understand why people would feel unsafe visiting other countries, but what do those who visit the US think? There’s no need to be afraid of trying out something new. Americans do think they live in the best country in the world because, for most of us, it is the only country we know; it is insanely shallow to think like this. We do need to learn to be more culturally diverse whether it be in this country or outside of it. Personally, I want to do whatever I can to learn more about other cultures. I’ve had 21 years to experience the US; I think I’m ready to see somewhere else. I just need to fight against those invisible strings and truly think and act for myself, knowing it will all be worth it. There’s such a vast world outside of this country that I can’t even imagine, and if it becomes too late in my life to experience it in some manner, I will never forgive myself. Fri, 11 Feb 2011 04:28:00 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/04/the-not-so-invisible-structure-that-shapes-us/#IDComment127259615 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment125039984 These “getting life” blogs truly expose characteristics and ideals we normally never hear about regarding inmates. Specifically lifers, outsiders tend to see them on the surface simply as what we call them; again, “lifers”: Men and women who kill and deserve to be put away forever. Having never committed murder, or at least been caught for it, it is easy for us to think like this. But why don’t we try to put in an effort into understanding them and seeing them as normal humans rather than labels of their actions? It’s pretty shocking to actually think we are so different from them. The concept of retribution is a deeply felt one from every angle while reading this entry. One line that stood out for me was, “Wanting to tell somebody for years that, you are so sorry and to finally get the opportunity was overwhelming. I was so excited, while at the same time unsure about how and what to say beyond the words, I’m sorry.” We can all relate to this in some manner whether larger or smaller, most likely the latter. However, to try and get into this man’s mindset that he cannot wait to express his apology directly to those he has so terribly hurt seems almost impossible to do. It is a huge measure of character that we can relate to in some manner, but just not on the same scale. In regard to class discussion on suicide, this entry gets to the heart of the concept that suicide is not just about one person; it affects so many more people than you could ever imagine. Although not suicide, murder obviously does the same thing. This man needed to hear his victim’s family and friends express their devastation and anger directly to his face in order for him to justly understand what he had done. It is not as if the victim’s loss is not felt by anybody; he wanted to feel the grief and destruction he has caused. This is an astonishing characteristic to house: To not only face the consequences and victims of your actions but to truthfully and wishfully understand them and learn from it all. For thinking a man or woman who has committed murder is so different and callous from us, that’s pretty amazing. Tue, 1 Feb 2011 02:19:43 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment125039984 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/27/americans-gone-wild/#IDComment124370600 From working as a counselor at summer camps growing up, I can EASILY say that no 5-year-old child would have the ability to understand taking a human life and have a reasoning for doing so. There is no way a boy this young could apprehend the true dangers of what he was doing. Picking up the gun in curiosity is one thing, but actually thinking about and being able to fire it is something entirely different. Not for a second would I see this child as a suspect in this case. Past problems like this or pertaining to violence? Maybe, MAYBE in that situation I would see it differently. But a seemingly normal pre-kindergarten student? A kid who could not understand the value of human life one bit? (not to say we can really understand it all that much better). The blame obviously falls upon the lap of the stepfather. His oversight and negligence caused this uproar and even ended up putting some blame on the child. No matter what the actual outcome, people will look at the boy differently now and it’s stupid, but true. Is this just the start of a violent lifestyle? Will he grow up to be a murderer? There is no end for what people can imagine. Additionally, can’t the superintendent reverse the suspension? Is it really that necessary to punish a child for something he can’t understand that he has done? Now the boy must wait "anywhere from weeks to months” until he can step back onto school grounds. What a ridiculous punishment. There is no reason as to why the stepfather should be punished here and the child, at possibly the most, given a talk as to what he did was dangerous and why. Get the boy back into classes and warrant charges against the stepfather. I completely agree with the superintendant when he states, "This isn't the fault of the 5-year-old. Someone is responsible for leaving a gun where a 5-year-old can access it, and that's a tragedy and it's inexcusable." If something for some reason did happen, I believe the blame would fall onto the stepfather 100%. There is no practical way to blame the child here. Fri, 28 Jan 2011 17:28:47 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/27/americans-gone-wild/#IDComment124370600 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/what-does-it-mean-to-be-free/#IDComment122804725 I try to think about some of the things in my life I am lucky to have every once in a while but I know I am always just scratching the surface. I reflect on how lucky I am to have a healthy life and family, great education, and a built up series of qualities that I can take into the real world after college. I may try but I can never really ruminate on the smaller things that can mean so much once taken away. Reading this letter I thought of a number of abilities, decisions, and things I have and am able to take part in that I am subconsciously used to by now. Like Sam said in class, we make millions of decisions each day without even realizing it or realizing how lucky we are to be able to do so. Being able to choose my meals, see my friends or even just talk with them, listen to music whenever I want, choose what clothes to wear, and have the ability to have the choice to go wherever I want in the world; the list goes on forever. I’ve grown up gaining more and more freedoms and I continue to add them to my list everyday. When I think about the term “prisoner,” my mind is all over the place. An interesting side note: have you ever noticed how, in films, the prisoners are always daunting, intimidating, and seem like they belong there while in TV shows that depict the reality of inmate life, they appear as normal people who made a mistake and seem to have had time to contemplate on their actions? In this sense, it’s challenging to understand inmates when there are different ways they are portrayed all around us. We always seem to jump to the basis of their crime rather than see them as people like us who could be in their position and to have lost everything they have. It’s moving to read a list of freedoms that we could care less about or don’t think about that this man couldn’t wish more for. Vacuuming? The smell of gas fumes? Its remarkable to think anyone could miss these, but when they aren’t there anymore, I guess you can really miss anything. It truly makes you appreciate more things in life. Fri, 21 Jan 2011 17:02:39 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/15/what-does-it-mean-to-be-free/#IDComment122804725 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cl%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment120712282 SOC 001 Tue, 11 Jan 2011 16:02:58 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cl%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment120712282