IntenseDebate - Margaret E.I.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 0 replies · +1 points

Thank you, Alexandra, and have a great weekend.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 0 replies · +1 points

I'm glad you read, too P_S. And that last sentence is a huge compliment; I couldn't ask for more. Thank you.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 0 replies · +2 points

Thank you, Katie. Writing this, publishing it here, and being able to read the comments definitely felt like getting something back that I had lost.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 0 replies · +9 points

Rape-survivor high-fives for the win. Hugs are good, too. I offer you the internet-equivalent of both.

I'm just restarting a search for a group after flaking out on one last year because of the kind of fears I described in the article and, believe me, the group was not my idea but my therapist's. So. Yeah. Something to think about (I had to think about it for a long, long time, and still, the flaking). My rape experience was over a decade ago now, and some days it's that far away and some days it's right behind me. Having an imaginary practice session with Francie and hearing stories like the one you shared (thank you, thank you) help me see how a real group could be very helpful, too.

Your story is a great example of how every time someone speaks up it helps someone else somehow, sometimes to the point where they can speak up, too. That's amazing when there's that perfect storm of a place to speak, an ability to speak, and the will to speak. I'm so glad you and your friend had that moment. I'm so thankful there's a community here that allowed me to have a moment to speak up, too. Thanks so, so much for reading and commenting.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Not That Kind of Cancer · 0 replies · +11 points

OMG SAME HERE! Happy Toast day!

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 0 replies · +8 points

Wow, Kristen, that take on the Victorian ideal domestic violence victim is chilling and all too familiar.

Part of what infuriated me during the 2012 election "legitimate rape" debacle was the idea of using some rape victim's experience of rape to discount other victim's experience. Parts of my rape experience did happen to line up with the IRN, and it infuriated me to think that because I happened to have choke marks on my neck or have been a young woman at the time of my experience, that other women might see that and think "my experience wasn't that bad" and so feel coerced into silence. Such a big part of my recovery was listening to other victims find their voice that I hated to think that anything I would say would bring any additional shame and silence to someone else.

I'm incredibly humbled that anyone would cite what I wrote when discussing this topic, but I am really honored that you think I contributed something worth sharing. Besides healing for other victims and their loved ones, the continuation of this discussion in public and private is what I most hoped for.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 0 replies · +2 points

Thank you, ectocool. Francie is my favorite fictional character, too.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 1 reply · +1 points

Thank you for reading and commenting, roxy! I love that you last read ATGIB while in labor with your oldest. That is so beautiful.

9 years ago @ The Toast - Meeting Francie Nolan ... · 0 replies · +1 points

Thank you, GreenGrasses, that's awesome to hear!

9 years ago @ The Toast - Not That Kind of Cancer · 2 replies · +20 points

This is so well-written, moving, and relatable. Especially screaming into a towel and the dark night of the soul (or whatever) during an overnight hospital stay. Thank you for writing it.

IntenseDebate Comment System

Connect with Margaret E.I.

My blogs/sites

People I'm following

Margaret E.I.