I worked security for the Census years ago, I was paid to sit inside a locked office at night with a gun and "guard" the machines that would tally answers. This office was inside a larger Federal building that already had security and armed guards at the entrance. I don't know, but maybe they were afraid some terrorist group was going to break in and find out how many people slept in your house on April 1st. We didn't call it the Senseless Bureau for nothing.
Words do so much, they build up and they tear down. I remember in high school over 30 years ago I wasn't doing so well; family strife, financial woes, alcohol n drugs, basically a lost and hopeless adolescent. One day in chemistry class the teacher handed out test results. I was kind of a black sheep at school; I didn't fit in any of the clicks or crowds. I had got an "A" on the test; the only one. Our teacher began to berate the class over the dismal test results of even the most promising nerds. Then he pointed at me. He said something to the effect of "look at Scott with all his problems and still in spite of them he does what it takes to succeed in this class, I admire him," He admired me? What was there to admire? I don't know, but those three words "I admire him" I had never heard before. No one had ever seen anything good in me before. Those three words carried me through college and graduate school - with a 4.0. Thank you Mr. Spoonmoore, I don't know what you saw in me, but you did plant a seed that day, a seed of hope that is still growing.
Wow! I think I'm going to have night terrors. Is this a KGB torture tool?
I was once very serious or should I say strern about my Christianity. So much so that I was of abolutely no use to God. I'm sure I didn't accurately share the love of Christ nor did I plant any viable seeds. I guess I was still trying to live under the Law and just didn't have the heart I now know the Lord is seeking. All rules and no grace; basically my life was vanity and making it as if Christ died in vain . I don't know how or when I changed, but I know I am no longer that man. I am new every morning in Christ and I know many prayers were involved in the change. I know He wants my Joy to be complete so I try to share that Joy. By God's grace, maybe someone will come to Christ when they see that a Christian can be happy, joyous, and free. But it is spiritual warfare out there, and I pray for that young Christian: they do matter to me, I don't want them to be sick or depressed, and I have faith that our Lord only wants good things for them. I may not have a good answer for that young Christian, but I can pray! I know prayer makes a diferrence and I know it changes me; I pray it does for the young one also.
I was flipping channels the other day and saw a guy preaching what seemed to be "another Jesus". He seemed friendly enough. I watched for a bit and realized what I was seeing and hearing was not at all about truth or Jesus (in spite of using the name Jesus). It all lead up to a rant that sounded like a modern day version of the false prophets of Jeremiah's time. The frenzy finally lead up to the "Call Now, God says call now, send your seed money now, pick up the phone, you will get a 100 fold return, You will miss the blessing if you don't call now, God told me blah blah blah". All I could think was " I'm sorry God, I am sorry your name is being used in this." I know it is up to God to judge them, I just pray for the ones who get fleeced. It looked like a temple made merchandise. I never should have turned that TV on.
p.s. I dig the new blog layout, I have been away from blogging for a while. I need to change/update mine and get back in to writing. Take care and be blessed!
I'm starting to feel like life's trials are confirmation of His love for me. It is when things are going all too good and easy that I find myself ignoring the relationship and falling for worldly things. These trials are bringing perseverance, faith, and fellowship. I just pray He continues to be strong in my weakness in the trials that come. God Bless Jason! Cherish those little ones, time flies all too quickly brother (my oldest is 18 now, thank God she loves the Lord!)
Praying for you brother. I won't pretend to know how you feel, but I have had some pretty down seasons even in my salvation; times that seem to poke at me and remind me that this life is "long suffering" and that "not one is good". At times it seems like it is all I can do to persevere through this desert one second at a time, but by God's grace I have been sustained. When I am in that place there are two passages I tend to ponder:
"Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him—for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God." Ecclesiastes 5:18-19 NIV
"He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son."
Revelation 21:7 NKJV
Praying your time in the desert is short and that your joy is restored. Keep looking up, it may be that through that valley and over that next rocky ridge is a garden filled with all the good things that we were meant to enjoy. I know it is there, I just don't know how many valleys and rocky ridges we must cross to get there.
You are in my prayers brother!