en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/10530096 Comments by Scarlet_Flight http://the-toast.net/2016/05/06/cocktail-hour-open-thread-107/#IDComment1020542309 I don't necessarily have good advice, but merely wish to acknowledge you and share that I have felt something like what you seem to be feeling. I tried the online dating thing with women last year, which was ok but nothing really came of it. Especially if you go the online dating route, it's easy to be relatively upfront about these things and let people filter themselves out. I know there's a *thing* about straight girls leading on queer girls, and I don't deny that it's frustrating and really terrible for anyone to intentionally lead someone on. However, isn't dating essentially experimenting with another person's feeling, straight or otherwise? I don't mean to sound flippant, but it doesn't necessarily hurt to go on a few low-pressure dates. If you decide it's not for you, no harm, it was just a couple dates. I hope someone with better advice than me is still around for OT, cause I'd like to hear someone else's take, too! (also, I FEEL YOU about being raised conservatively and having a lot of mixed-up feelings about sex & sexuality. uhg.). Fri, 6 May 2016 19:52:31 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/05/06/cocktail-hour-open-thread-107/#IDComment1020542309 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/27/the-convert-series-emily-stewart/#IDComment1011350984 This was lovely. I don't know if I've gone Full Atheist yet, but your second-to-last paragraph was beautiful and describes a lot of the feelings I have about my belief in a god-type force. Also, that paragraph totally reminded me of the part in Harry Potter when Dumbledore says "Of course it's happening in your head, but why should that mean that it isn't real?" Thank you Emily! Thu, 28 Jan 2016 02:50:05 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/01/27/the-convert-series-emily-stewart/#IDComment1011350984 http://the-toast.net/2015/11/20/cocktail-hour-open-thread-91/#IDComment1004291546 Well, I've done a big move a couple of times (one of which was a move "back", and there's nothing wrong with that if you end up doing the same!). Honestly, It took about a year to really feel like I had a few good friends in my new town. Making friends is definitely hard, but when I would go to meetups or Toast gatherings or something similar, I'd just tell people, "Hey! I'm new and came here today to make friends!" It feels weird to say, but it let people know I'm "available" for friendship, and made me feel like I was putting positive energy out there, even if I didn't actually ask people to hang out. Regarding not feeling like you've made a mistake...as tough as it is, I think just reminding yourself that this experience, the new job, whatever it is that brought you there, it's not a wasted experience. Even if you move back. Fri, 20 Nov 2015 17:35:31 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/11/20/cocktail-hour-open-thread-91/#IDComment1004291546 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/21/cocktail-hour-open-thread-81/#IDComment991562117 Aahaha! Every time I see someone I know on okc I immediately log out, shut down my computer and run far away from the internet. At least you have confirmation that your best friend is a good person for you. :) Sat, 22 Aug 2015 03:39:10 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/21/cocktail-hour-open-thread-81/#IDComment991562117 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/21/cocktail-hour-open-thread-81/#IDComment991530703 Uh, not dating, but I need advice about dealing with being attracted to a new friend! We've had some very date-like hangouts and I get the vibe that he's also attracted to me bit OH MY GOD HOW DO I LET HIM KNOW!? I'm so terrible/inexperienced at this. it's extra confusing because this comes after a year long stint of realizing I'm bisexual and trying so hard to okc with ladies. So I've forgotten that real-life dating is not as explicit as internet dating, where we are both clearly assessing if the other is date-worthy or not. Fri, 21 Aug 2015 21:04:09 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/21/cocktail-hour-open-thread-81/#IDComment991530703 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/07/cocktail-hour-open-thread-79/#IDComment989348203 I wrote a lot as a 10-13 year old, but my most embarrassing creative writing probably happened when I was a freshman in college, i.e. old enough to know I'm not a creative writing genius. I wrote some truly horrendous poetry about a friendship that was falling apart (I may also have had a crush on her...that part is still confusing for me?). Also, one of my freshman English classes had a creative writing assignment, and a wrote a short story about a family on vacation, with lots of thinly veiled SYMBOLISM about the color of their clothes as it related to the color of the local people's clothes. It was actually the same friend I wrote the poetry about who called me out on my terrible extended metaphor. I DIED of embarrassment. Fri, 7 Aug 2015 20:29:49 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/07/cocktail-hour-open-thread-79/#IDComment989348203 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/07/cocktail-hour-open-thread-79/#IDComment989347560 Are you my junior high BFF??! My BFF and I developed a weirdly elaborate neighborhood mythology involving witches and cats and magical rituals. We also wrote EXTENSIVELY, mostly historical fiction though. Sadly, I destroyed most of it in high school, but a few stories escaped the destruction and I ferried them out of my parents' house a few years ago for fear that they might find and read them while cleaning out my childhood bedroom. Fri, 7 Aug 2015 20:23:51 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/08/07/cocktail-hour-open-thread-79/#IDComment989347560 http://the-toast.net/2015/07/30/if-you-are-catcalled-have-peanut-butter-in-your-mouth/#IDComment988114573 My proudest moment was probably one Halloween when I was dressed as Wednesday Addams. Literally only my hands and head were uncovered, and some dude at the bar felt it necessary to say, "Well that's not slutty at all." To which I responded in my most Wednesday Addams-est deadpan: "I don't do that." -_- He muttered something about "that's not what I meant...." but I was too busy returning to my seat with a beer. (not that there's anything wrong with slutty costumes per se, it's just so not my thing) Fri, 31 Jul 2015 03:41:27 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/07/30/if-you-are-catcalled-have-peanut-butter-in-your-mouth/#IDComment988114573 http://the-toast.net/2015/06/26/cocktail-hour-open-thread-74/#IDComment981059837 Ugh, I've been contemplating re-opening my account again. I blame Pride Month / binging OITNB. Somebody talk me out of it!! (or into it, longer summer days = more time to devote to my OKC hobby, right?) Fri, 26 Jun 2015 21:56:01 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/06/26/cocktail-hour-open-thread-74/#IDComment981059837 http://the-toast.net/2015/06/09/every-track-from-wow-1999-in-order/#IDComment977116368 I just youtubed Point of Grace and I'm AMAZED at how well I remember them. I was far too Catholic for Christian music, but my bff in the late 90s let me borrow her CDs and I played them non. stop. Wed, 10 Jun 2015 01:53:58 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/06/09/every-track-from-wow-1999-in-order/#IDComment977116368 http://the-toast.net/2015/03/17/coming-out-to-my-family/#IDComment957827121 Ugh, tell me about it. My mom has dropped extended-family-member news bombshells at really weird times, which sometimes makes it seem like "oh it's no big deal!", like when she told me my cousin is trans, but sometimes it seems more like "I'm telling you this fast cause it's the only time we're ever going to mention it." Tue, 17 Mar 2015 15:47:10 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/03/17/coming-out-to-my-family/#IDComment957827121 http://the-toast.net/2015/02/18/columbus-predictions/#IDComment951654491 Ugh, the paper crane thing, tho. That's extra weird to me since I strongly associate paper cranes with the the story about the Japanese girl dying from radiation poisoning and the futile fight for world peace. Thu, 19 Feb 2015 03:00:49 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/02/18/columbus-predictions/#IDComment951654491 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/23/bit-fry-laurie-friday-2/#IDComment944275551 Echoing that this is my favorite Fry & Laurie sketch. And also, it is one of my greatest fears (or greatest triumphs) that I sometimes sound like Stephen Fry to my friends. I'm afraid if I shared this on Facebook their reactions would be very Laurie-ish. [see what I did there with the self-compliment? she's modest, too!] Sat, 24 Jan 2015 04:24:27 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/23/bit-fry-laurie-friday-2/#IDComment944275551 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942987463 Oh, god, thank you for continuing to validate my experience! It has seemed like a frustratingly weird coincidence that my previous OKC dude dates were really forward and all of my lady dates are shy. Maybe we both need to start being more explicit about messaging/texting "great, it's a date!". But who actually does that??! Tue, 20 Jan 2015 06:52:41 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942987463 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942898763 Yay, I can finally participate in an open thread again! I think my first open thread post was about coming out "late in life" (aka in my 20s), and you all were wonderful. But Ugh, guys, I don't know how to date! I'm trying the whole okc thing again (now with lesbians! V. exciting). I think I'm probably what the kids call a "demisexual" and I'm not pleased about that. I thought things might be different because I'm actually interested in women, but I'm still the same not-very-touchy-feely person I've always been, just with a new and improved queer identity. How do you fellow shy baby birds make it in the treacherous world of online dating? Tue, 20 Jan 2015 00:27:06 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942898763 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942896191 I don't have much to add as far as advice goes, but just wanted to say I FEEL YOU with the hanging out with an okc date (?) for a while semi-non-romantically and being confused about that whole deal. Hey, you've inspired me to use my words with my own okc girl. You've put yourself out there and made it clear as can that you're interested. No regrets, I hope! Tue, 20 Jan 2015 00:12:44 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942896191 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942894744 Yay, happy birthday! I saw Tig last week and it was my EVERYTHING. I got really into her comedy when I was unemployed last fall and she honestly helped me see the bright side in all of that. I hope she'll work her magic on you too, tonight. Sending positive vibes about your job!! Tue, 20 Jan 2015 00:04:30 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/19/monday-open-thread-3/#IDComment942894744 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/06/one-question-always-ask-parties/#IDComment938410820 Aaaand I'm in love with you. (a little late to this party, but this is my fave movie and you made me guffaw.) Wed, 7 Jan 2015 03:12:39 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2015/01/06/one-question-always-ask-parties/#IDComment938410820 http://the-toast.net/2014/12/05/friday-open-thread-4/#IDComment925465284 I can't find it! But I will definitely join it and can help organize meetups! Sun, 7 Dec 2014 09:31:44 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2014/12/05/friday-open-thread-4/#IDComment925465284 http://the-toast.net/2014/12/05/friday-open-thread-4/#IDComment925275865 Oh definitely! Are you creating one? When we can we all meet up to talk about Toast things together?! Sat, 6 Dec 2014 22:16:39 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2014/12/05/friday-open-thread-4/#IDComment925275865