en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/1675169 Comments by Sassomatic http://wonkette.com/526213/wingnut-texas-congressional-candidate-tries-this-reddit-thing-gets-laughed-off-internet#IDComment703723033 "I want you to be free to do whatever I want." Tue, 20 Aug 2013 19:20:29 +0000 http://wonkette.com/526213/wingnut-texas-congressional-candidate-tries-this-reddit-thing-gets-laughed-off-internet#IDComment703723033 http://wonkette.com/522659/george-zimmerman-acquitted-satire-not-yet-possible#IDComment679651181 I'm shoveling vodka and Vicodin into my head right now. Okay it's YooHoo and potato chips. But I'm pretending has hard as I can. Sun, 14 Jul 2013 10:35:16 +0000 http://wonkette.com/522659/george-zimmerman-acquitted-satire-not-yet-possible#IDComment679651181 http://wonkette.com/494226/stock-up-now-on-your-end-times-accessories-for-dorks-and-paranoids#IDComment526024126 Now that Obama has been re-elected, why is he dragging his feet on destroying the country? Sat, 22 Dec 2012 22:07:25 +0000 http://wonkette.com/494226/stock-up-now-on-your-end-times-accessories-for-dorks-and-paranoids#IDComment526024126 http://wonkette.com/493995/michigan-lawmakers-want-to-let-you-own-lions-and-tigers-just-as-the-founding-fathers-intended#IDComment525901363 There is no excuse for not having a tiger in every classroom. Do you people not care about your children? Shame on you Obama! Sat, 22 Dec 2012 17:54:39 +0000 http://wonkette.com/493995/michigan-lawmakers-want-to-let-you-own-lions-and-tigers-just-as-the-founding-fathers-intended#IDComment525901363 http://wonkette.com/494219/scoop-paul-ryan-to-be-next-house-speaker-according-to-some-secret-random-dude-who-gossiped-to-laura-ingraham#IDComment525896980 Now that we have more women in the House, I guess we need a bigger douchebag to lead it. Sat, 22 Dec 2012 17:46:32 +0000 http://wonkette.com/494219/scoop-paul-ryan-to-be-next-house-speaker-according-to-some-secret-random-dude-who-gossiped-to-laura-ingraham#IDComment525896980 http://wonkette.com/493877/equivalencies-new-orleans-school-district-embraces-evolution-tenn-preacher-says-it-caused-school-shootings#IDComment525202405 Also, how do you go about kicking an all-powerful God out of schools? Do they have guards that stand around, and if they sense God coming near they go "Shoo! Shoo! Bad God! Shoo!" or even, in Southern Parlance "Getonouttaheah"? Sat, 22 Dec 2012 00:09:08 +0000 http://wonkette.com/493877/equivalencies-new-orleans-school-district-embraces-evolution-tenn-preacher-says-it-caused-school-shootings#IDComment525202405 http://wonkette.com/493877/equivalencies-new-orleans-school-district-embraces-evolution-tenn-preacher-says-it-caused-school-shootings#IDComment525199029 HA! I would like to point out that something happened in Louisiana that does not make us look like a bunch of knuckle-dragging morons. And for those of you who would claim that New Orleans is not Louisiana, I refer you to a MAP. So let it be known that our school district has stood up and made the bold proclamation that no, we will not just go around teaching a religious doctrine in our public schools. Which begs the question, why is that even a question? Sat, 22 Dec 2012 00:04:28 +0000 http://wonkette.com/493877/equivalencies-new-orleans-school-district-embraces-evolution-tenn-preacher-says-it-caused-school-shootings#IDComment525199029 http://wonkette.com/494095/nra-literally-blows-nations-head-off-midwest-has-sucking-chest-wound#IDComment524994919 You don't fucking say. I'm diagnosed with a mental illness, and I really don't think I should have to be on some national registry that could easily be used against me in the future in other ways just so some gun worshiping tiny dicked douchebags can have semi automatic rifles to make them feel powerful. Fuck those people. Fri, 21 Dec 2012 18:57:33 +0000 http://wonkette.com/494095/nra-literally-blows-nations-head-off-midwest-has-sucking-chest-wound#IDComment524994919 http://wonkette.com/494095/nra-literally-blows-nations-head-off-midwest-has-sucking-chest-wound#IDComment524992213 How about a national registry bullies. If you've ever beat up another kid in school or hit someone without provocation, or been guilty even of vocal harassment, no guns for you. That would probably take a shitload of guns out of circulation, now wouldn't it? Fri, 21 Dec 2012 18:53:23 +0000 http://wonkette.com/494095/nra-literally-blows-nations-head-off-midwest-has-sucking-chest-wound#IDComment524992213 http://wonkette.com/493657/tea-party-nation-knows-what-causes-shootings-unions-loud-stereos-and-sluts#IDComment522845434 "He feels powerless because he has lived in an over-bureaucratized society, one run ultimately from a far-away central location." Well if by "centralized location" you mean the Koch Brothers' lair deep beneath the crust of the earth, which is guarded by giant Ann Coulter dragons and surrounded by a moat of hot semen, then I can get see what he's getting at. Also maybe male power is defined in our society in terms of violence. Wed, 19 Dec 2012 04:25:00 +0000 http://wonkette.com/493657/tea-party-nation-knows-what-causes-shootings-unions-loud-stereos-and-sluts#IDComment522845434 http://wonkette.com/493657/tea-party-nation-knows-what-causes-shootings-unions-loud-stereos-and-sluts#IDComment522840442 Mommy, why is that man being attacked by baby pigs? Wed, 19 Dec 2012 04:16:29 +0000 http://wonkette.com/493657/tea-party-nation-knows-what-causes-shootings-unions-loud-stereos-and-sluts#IDComment522840442 http://wonkette.com/493408/new-victims-of-newtown-identified-nfl-fans-whose-games-were-pre-empted-by-villain-president#IDComment521854737 The world is full of asswaffles. Tue, 18 Dec 2012 01:34:13 +0000 http://wonkette.com/493408/new-victims-of-newtown-identified-nfl-fans-whose-games-were-pre-empted-by-villain-president#IDComment521854737 http://wonkette.com/492724/mcdonalds-employee-excited-to-be-earning-minimum-wage-after-20-years-on-the-job#IDComment518238635 Civility? This is fucking WONKETTE! Now go blow a herd of goats. Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:53:59 +0000 http://wonkette.com/492724/mcdonalds-employee-excited-to-be-earning-minimum-wage-after-20-years-on-the-job#IDComment518238635 http://wonkette.com/492547/heritage-foundation-very-proud-of-its-incoherent-bondage-porn-filibuster-tumblr-message#IDComment517387016 We must silence them in order to hear them. Wed, 12 Dec 2012 20:45:27 +0000 http://wonkette.com/492547/heritage-foundation-very-proud-of-its-incoherent-bondage-porn-filibuster-tumblr-message#IDComment517387016 http://wonkette.com/492376/conservatives-crush-dumb-liberals-with-popular-political-hashtag-not-so-much-with-ideas-candidates-campaigns-message#IDComment516487762 Today, we are all twats. Tue, 11 Dec 2012 21:47:14 +0000 http://wonkette.com/492376/conservatives-crush-dumb-liberals-with-popular-political-hashtag-not-so-much-with-ideas-candidates-campaigns-message#IDComment516487762 http://wonkette.com/492103/aclu-tries-to-spoil-dumb-fad-of-sex-segregated-schools-for-the-kids#IDComment515587102 It's important that the boys not be taught that girls' bodies shut down conception in cases of legitimate rape. It might hurt their pride. Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:39:00 +0000 http://wonkette.com/492103/aclu-tries-to-spoil-dumb-fad-of-sex-segregated-schools-for-the-kids#IDComment515587102 http://wonkette.com/492083/tennessee-sen-bob-corker-let-them-eat-catfood#IDComment515582869 Is it me or is he just straight up admitting that they plan to be total dicks, because they did that the last time. Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:31:27 +0000 http://wonkette.com/492083/tennessee-sen-bob-corker-let-them-eat-catfood#IDComment515582869 http://wonkette.com/491665/rep-john-fleming-couple-kicked-out-not-for-being-muslim-but-for-messing-up-bathroom-having-ties-to-terrorists#IDComment512881906 There they go again, wanting special privileges. Fri, 7 Dec 2012 15:07:30 +0000 http://wonkette.com/491665/rep-john-fleming-couple-kicked-out-not-for-being-muslim-but-for-messing-up-bathroom-having-ties-to-terrorists#IDComment512881906 http://wonkette.com/491402/what-horrible-thing-did-this-muslim-couple-do-to-get-kicked-out-of-innocent-congressmans-subway-franchise#IDComment511574746 This is North Louisiana, which is actually Arkansas, and full of Baptists that are always trying to tell the rest of us down "real" Louisiana we can't do stuff their Jesus Zombie does not like. Thu, 6 Dec 2012 06:05:52 +0000 http://wonkette.com/491402/what-horrible-thing-did-this-muslim-couple-do-to-get-kicked-out-of-innocent-congressmans-subway-franchise#IDComment511574746 http://wonkette.com/490832/please-enjoy-this-picture-of-kitties#IDComment501957067 Ugh. Wonkette pledge drive week. Mon, 26 Nov 2012 23:17:27 +0000 http://wonkette.com/490832/please-enjoy-this-picture-of-kitties#IDComment501957067