2,549 comments posted · 10 followers · following 0

9 hours ago @ http://www.conservativ... - WATCH: Ici Londres - I... · 0 replies · +1 points

Ex-Tory. You are, of course, entirely right. We are being groomed for this inevitability and the only game in Westminster being played now is who gets the blame for the grooming.

16 hours ago @ http://www.conservativ... - Calling Conservatives:... · 0 replies · +1 points


Her Majesty's Government – Quasi-Autonomous Governmental Organisation

“Your role will be to manage a major economy and nation state in a challenging environment acting on behalf of your stakeholders. This role is currently vacant and applications are invited via insurrection and coup d’etat and you will ideally be wearing garish luminescent vests and/or, possibly, the battle dress of the Household Division.

You will report to and be answerable to a pompous little munchkin at all times who may decide upon a whim to discontinue your function as an organisation.”

Time: 24/7 365

Remuneration: £39Bn

Closes: 29th March 2019

Previous applicants will not be considered unless named Oliver Cromwell.


2 days ago @ http://www.conservativ... - WATCH: May - “Give t... · 1 reply · +1 points

Why has she chosen to dress like a Supermarionation Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons puppet circa 1967? I’m up for a bit of retro but is this some sort of subliminal message reference the pulling of strings?

Will Dominic Grieve rock up as Captain Black and will he have an ickle-wickle mini-me Bercow in tow?

2 days ago @ http://www.conservativ... - Antoinette Sandbach: L... · 0 replies · +1 points

FAO old folks. If you’re feeling a bit frozen, Michael Gove has asked you not to use your fire grate and definitely not to burn house coal or non-approved wood. You will also need to replace your woodburner and refrain from that wheelie butane heater pointed directly at your shins.

If you insist on being warm/burning wood, then HMG has some clear advice for you. When you go into your garden with your chainsaw and fell a tree you must leave it to season for at least two years. I’m not too sure how many people own woodland and/or chainsaws but you’ll have a two year wait to warm up.

Put on another jumper and do some star jumps. Gaffer tape your house airtight and buy a carbon monoxide alarm.

3 days ago @ http://www.conservativ... - WATCH: Mann says he is... · 1 reply · +1 points

In the still image, John Mann, would appear to have the epaulettes and combat uniform of a minor former USSR dictator. I hope that this wasn't intentional.

4 days ago @ http://www.conservativ... - Leo Docherty: No other... · 2 replies · +1 points

When advancing to engage the enemy it would be useful to have a detachment of human rights specialists embedded with our lads.

I’m thinking in terms of Soviet era combat commissars operating as moral and political guardians to ensure legal and ethical compliance. Bleating earnestly on Tannoy systems and loud hailers, as we advance to contact, not only to remind us of Article 7 subsection 3C of the HRA but also to inform the enemy of points of contact for legal redress and compensation.

They could also compile video evidence and witness statements during the firefight. Give out business cards to the half-dead and even sell PPI claims on a nowinnofee basis.

1 week ago @ http://www.conservativ... - Andrew Gimson's Common... · 0 replies · +1 points

Pete Shelley. RIP.

1 week ago @ http://www.conservativ... - Andrew Gimson's Common... · 3 replies · +1 points

I’m interested in politics, me, and even have a rather bog roll based upper second in the subject. I’ve argued the hind legs off donkeys and flogged dead horses with the best of them but the will to continue to resist and even to exist is wearing thin.

It’s not so much the Brexit boredom. It is the contempt. Everyone up the Westminster direction seems to be wearing self-elevating shoes, Bercow for obvious reasons, but numerous others and not least Soubry with her self-inflating #metoo regarding routine abuse (or rather #memoreimportantlytoo).

Never mind snowflakes and gammon: what is wrong with my generation of politicians? My generation being the fifty somethings who may or may not have bounced up and down to the Sex Pistols once upon a time, wherein, the Never Mind the B#llocks summary lies, as that Rotten bloke said with Anarchy in the UK:

‘I don’t know what I want but I know how to get it.’ The mantra of our current political class. Clueless guile. Nihilistic narcissism. Maybe, narcissism was the epithet directed at Soubry?

3 weeks ago @ http://www.conservativ... - We wish you a Merry Ch... · 1 reply · +1 points

I'm the one with the snake.

3 weeks ago @ http://www.conservativ... - We wish you a Merry Ch... · 3 replies · +1 points

Enjoy! And try not to be overly abusive to close relatives when playing Rapidough for being incapable of modelling anything other than a snake and then making repeated references to genitals.