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I don't know your situation, so I don't want to offer any advice that you're not asking for. So, I'll just offer all good thoughts and my absolute sympathy. I'm so sorry for your losses.
A lot of what I needed was very specific. At one point I got throat sores and couldn't swallow without pain. If someone had offered to bring me smoothies, I would have cried in gratitude. You can offer to grab something when you run errands. Text, if your friend does that, instead of call. Phone calls were exhausting for me and often woke me up.
You're a lovely friend for thinking of something and asking.
Content Note for infertility, medical procedures and discussion, pain
I had to have a saline infused sonohysterogram which is where they thread a catheter through your cervix into your uterus and pump it full of saline while taking a transvaginal ultrasound, the kind with the wand they stick up your vagina. I've had one about a year ago, as part of my ongoing infertility treatments, but my doc wanted another just to check, I guess, since I start a new frozen embryo transfer cycle soon. It was horrible. There were four people in the room, the doctor, the ultrasound tech and two randos, all women. The doctor was inexperienced and she struggled to even see my cervix, not something anyone has had a problem with before. She had trouble getting the catheter through then threaded like the whole fucking thing into my uterus until it bottomed out and then the fucker kinked so she couldn't push the saline through. They use a little balloon to open your cervix which hurts like a motherfucker and the catheter gives you the worst cramps. So, she had to pull the whole thing out and start over. The second time hurt even worse, though she got the catheter through easier. Then she couldn't get the speculum out without tugging on the catheter and the ultrasound wand also pushed against it. Then she started pushing in the saline and it hurt so much. I'm not a wuss about pain, but I was crying. One of the randos snapped at me not to hold my breath, but I just couldn't breathe for the pain. Then the catheter pulled out and all the saline rushed out. The doctor was going to start again, but thank god the tech said she got enough. They were all nice enough about it, but I just felt so violated and raw. I cried the whole way home. I've had more than my fair share of medical procedures with all this and other health issues and I've been in awful pain before, but something about this was so, so bad. I can't stop thinking about it, but I know here I would have a sympathetic ear. Thank you.
I learned how to write checks in 7th grade Home Ec, as well as how to calculate the interest rate on a car loan and other very useful things. I still only write one check a month for the city utilities in a very small town where we own property and every time I do it I curse them for not having their utilities payment be online. My payment would be late a lot less if I could just set up an automatic payment, damnit.