Hey Mark. It's been a while. I'm responsible for making you watch that horrible Snow White Christmas special. I had to give up that slot as financially my life changed. I lost my job and had a bad breakup and ended up having to spend a year rebuilding. It was traumatizing and although I think it was necessary for me, it still fucking hurts.

This is all to say how absolutely cruel it is for you to have to decide between taking time off and getting the help you need or earning your only source of income. It adds so much extra fucking stress and on top of that it makes you feel guilty. From every angle you feel guilty and shameful. You don't deserve that. You don't deserve to think of yourself like that. And if we were a just society, there would be windfall to make sure you had a base level to survive without asking for help. I can't donate today, but come January I think I can give a bit. I love you and everything you've done for this community and especially the discourse you've brought to fandom. You made me better by having me consider my language in ways I never had before, and I am someone who likes to think of himself as considerate and knowledgeable, but there was so much I was still ignorant to. You have changed my life for the better, have helped me get through my day when I didn't want to exist, and I doubt I am alone in that.

So please, don't keep this on yourself. You're going to mourn and you're going to go through every emotion, all of which I am sure you already have. That can't be helped when you're this vulnerable. Just please, when you can find a chance, don't shoulder these decisions you're making as moral or revealing of your character. They're on you, but they aren't of you.

Anyway, that's all. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. I'm not good at many things, but I'm good at that. Stay strong. You may not feel strong, but you're already making decisions to help you and those around you with things that need to be done. If that isn't strength, nothing is.

I was obsessed with The Locomotion as a kid. One of many things that should have made my gayness obvious.

Oh wow, I just thought it was a light rain, but apparently this is going to be a big thing. I'm glad it's happening, but I think I'm going to try and convince my boyfriend not to drive to LA this weekend and try for another one. I worry wayyyy too much.

Haven't seen the second episode yet, but I looooooooooooooooooooved the first. What a mindbending pilot.

Ruby and Sapphire's reactions to the butterfly interest me. It's not that Sapphire had more butterflies, they're actually both reacting to the same one. Sapphire creates more while Ruby chases the original into a corner and starts attacking it. It's all she can focus on while Sapphire gets trapped into the whirlwind of thoughts she's created. In certain ways, she feels she's trapped and can't rely on Ruby to help her, which is why the thoughts of what might go wrong grow. Ultimately, Ruby does show up and the helplessness Sapphire felt vanishes.

This is paralleled with Steven and Connie's reactions outside of the song. What I find interesting is that Connie is paired up with Ruby. She is the one who has the single butterfly issue of accidentally hurting her classmate. Steven is the one who tries to help her while letting his own thoughts build and consume him. I would normally think the opposite of them if I had to choose who was most like who. And to be honest, maybe Connie is more like Sapphire and Steven more like Ruby and that's why things get blown up and they can't focus. Connie being more about nuance can't accept what she did and only sees the one problem, not a branch of possibilities. Steven is more used to there being one right answer, but he's inundated with the choices he could have made. It's just an interesting parallel.

(I am thinking out loud here. Other interpretations would be niiiiccceeee. :P )

To some of the people saying Mark should know why there's no corruption on Homeworld: he's watching how many shows and reading how many things? Not to mention because of his tour schedule he's had to watch these sporadically and then take weeks off. I watched this show as it came out and only noticed on my second viewing. For a show about empathy, you should probably try and have some. I know not everyone is being rude about it, which is good, but some are. I get that part of the fun of Mark Watches is having someone go through something you love and you want him to have similar reactions to your own. It's great to feel validated! But the other fun is to watch someone who isn't you react to the show and see things differently. Different reactions lead to a more fuller understanding of a work. It's part of why this experiment and community is so great. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. A nudge is fine like some people have done. But to say he should have seen something is kind of blah and negative in away I don't expect here. It's just disappointing to see.

ETA: I'm being vague because I don't want to call anyone out. Like I said, not everyone pointed it out in a bad way.

Here it is: Mark Watches Rudolph's Shiny New Year
http://markdoesstuff.fetchapp.com/get/fe095540

The video he watched was on youtube and can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCj8DwNrz8k

I'll also be posting Rudolph's Shiny New Year next week which I've been saving for this moment once I knew I couldn't support Mark at that level anymore. I'm so excited y'all.

It's that time of year and I have a few downloads left of the magical Mark Watches A Snow White Christmas. Watch him curse me out and be utterly confused. The link he watched was a youtube video, which can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjLUAoqscRI

The link to the download is here:
http://markdoesstuff.fetchapp.com/get/b91290f1

Now that I've been revisiting Steven Universe, I've found myself genuinely enjoying episodes I really did not like the first time around. Now that I'm not waiting to see what happens next, I can just let loose and enjoy things for what they are: Solid Beach City world building. And it's that world building that gives other episodes like The Return so much weight. I really enjoy this episode now and I especially love Peedee's thoughtfulness and genuine care for his brother. Him pointing out that he thinks it's a shame that some of the weirdness would be gone, specifically thinking of how much joy it brings Ronaldo, is such a great and quiet character moment. I love that.