I feel that machismo is often a sign of severe insecurity. People who aren’t secure with their manhood try to bring themselves up by putting others down. It is a shame to see how many men aren’t secure with their own masculinity. If you know that you aren’t gay, why would a gay person hitting on you be offensive? If anything, I feel that it should be taken as a compliment. Michelle Bachman’s husband is a perfect example of a gay person who is trying to compensate for their lack of their ideal version of masculinity. He doesn’t understand that being gay doesn’t take away from masculinity. Being gay doesn’t mean that you can’t be a man. Hiding from your true self is what takes away from manhood. Persecuting others who are viewed as inferior for personal gain is about as pussy of a move as anybody can make. Homophobia is on the decline, progress can’t be stopped. In my lifetime, all my gay brothers and sisters will be seen as equal, as they should be.

My best friend growing up lived three blocks from me on a street that had lots of kids. One of them was never really into sports but still hung out and was a good friend. Going into late grade school things started changing. I never really saw him around anymore outside of school. Now he is in the acting program at NYU. It was always somewhat obvious that he was gay, but now I know he is a lot more open about it. I had mentioned that I wanted to visit him sometime if I was ever in New York to my best friend growing up and he was taken aback. He talked about how weird all of the stuff that he did in New York was and how he was “flamingly gay”. I was bothered by this. I know that I am not gay so why would hanging out with a gay kid be uncomfortable for me. It isn’t like all gay people have unrelenting attraction to every male that they see. I still can’t understand why my best friend was so uncomfortable with David.

I am from the suburbs of Chicago. Although I live close to a very liberal big city, I feel that many of my friends from high school and their parents would feel uncomfortable if I was homosexual. I think that my parents and most of my extended family would be accepting but I am not sure about many others past that. Most of my friends in high school are from middle class families whose parents have college degrees. Despite this, I feel that many of them are still very immature and unaccepting regarding issues of homosexuality.

I have recently learned that I find self-awareness to be the most attractive quality in other people. When in a stupid argument with someone about a petty grievance I often find myself wishing that the person I were arguing with would look at things through my perspective. In doing so, I realize that I am being hypocritical. To prevent this hypocrisy, I am trying to see the argument from both sides before taking a stance. Nothing is ever as it seems and everything is a paradox.

I wonder how much worldly conflict could be avoided with just a little bit of self-awareness. I feel that it is too easy to make decisions using raw emotion. I am finding that when something feels very easy, I am most likely doing something wrong or unproductive. Emotion typically doesn’t coincide with rationality.

When people feel threatened, it is much easier to make a decision using emotion as opposed to reason. The feeling of being backed into a corner may cloud mental capacity. People are much more willing to endure injustice if they see light at the end of the tunnel.

I wonder how one would best influence people to show empathy. Telling somebody to be self-aware does not work. Descartes said that good sense is the most well distributed virtue among humans. This must be true because nobody feels that they need more of it.

If everybody worried about everybody elses problems instead of their own, everybody would be taken care of. It sounds like communism but similar to capitalism, any political system would be perfect if run under ideal conditions. Laziness and greed ruin everything for everyone.

Greed in particular is ruining our country. I feel that the founding fathers would roll over in their graves if they saw how the country is being run. I hate how ugly advertising makes everything look. A few days ago I was looking up where the career services building was on a map of campus. I couldn’t find it. I realized that the reason that I couldn’t find it was because it wasn’t under career services in the legend. It was under Bank of America Career Services Building. When I realized that our career services department was run by Bank of America, I decided not to go. A career services building who’s employees are hired by one of the most corrupt Banks in our country will have nothing to say about my career path. I do not want any ulterior motives in my advising and would much rather figure things out on my own. I feel that it may be a conflict of interests if a corrupt investment firm is telling confused, young college students what they should do with their lives. We need a nation of thinkers as well as workers.

It is funny to imagine the thought process of somebody who finds bilingualism unpatriotic. I imagine it goes something like this; I am from America and I love America. Other countries don’t like America so I don’t like other countries. Other countries speak other languages, I speak American. If other countries don’t like us and other countries don’t speak American, then people who don’t only speak American must not like America. This is probably wrong, the average thought process for somebody like this is more likely just …

The world is shrinking. As the economic and social future begins to look more dim here, I would not rule out leaving the country. I am limited, however, because I only speak English. I am still young and could definitely learn another language, but I most likely won’t in the immediate future. This is limiting. Although English is becoming a more global language, the benefits of knowing Spanish or French would be innumerable.

I hope to join Doctors without Borders someday. This is a French organization. Although French is not a requirement, the places I could feasibly live in Africa would increase dramatically if I were bilingual. Plus, I wouldn’t feel so uncultured when I am visiting Europe.

I feel that many people have a very skewed view of patriotism in this country. I also feel that people have an erroneous view of masculinity. These two mistakes in perception cause many of our problems. Having vested interests in other parts of the world does not take away from the love of one’s country. If every country in the world only worried about its’ own interests then we would be at war more frequently than we already are. The economy is global and we need to have worldview to succeed.

Using fear to solve problems is not nearly as sustainable of an answer as providing rewards. The carrot is a much more efficient motivator than the stick. Whenever something is forcibly enforced, the enticement of disobeying rises. Being forbidden from something makes it appear far more appealing. In the same way, forcing somebody to do something out of fear is far less of a motivator than providing a reward for good behavior. People only work hard when they are self-motivation and motivation by fear is not self-motivation.

I really wish I could take to someone who finds being bilingual a detriment. Spanish is spoken very widely in America; it could almost be considered a second national language. People who have unconditional love for our country would embrace the change and not remain so stubborn. Once something is possible it cannot be stopped. People will continue coming to Mexico, and they will continue to speak Spanish. If you can’t beat them, join them.

War confuses me. I often wrestle with whether there is ever an absolute need for war or if all war can be avoided through diplomacy. This kind of thinking is less gray and more of a right and wrong absolute. I feel that if both parties in conflict are highly rational people with empathy then war could be avoided forever. However, people have stronger ties to the needs of their country before the needs of other countries. This is what leads to conflict.

I do not mean to say that all people that have ever started wars are selfish, irrational brutes. If we were to play by Middle Eastern rules and give them more power over their oil then maybe they would abuse us. Maybe not, but people are greedy everywhere and power can lead to corruption. It is a difficult struggle.

I think that before you can spread peace you must be able to empathize. If two people are more concerned with each other’s needs than with their own then both needs will be fulfilled and a bond will form between both parties. If both parties exclusively look after their own interests than most likely there will be abuse. Encouraging empathy may be the best first step into promoting peace.

I do not believe that pulling troops out of Afghanistan immediately is a solution to anybody’s problems. I wish there was a more definitive end in sight but the mess needs to be cleaned up a bit before we can leave. This will mean more deaths on both sides.

I often wonder how strongly soldiers are encouraged to dehumanize their enemies. I believe that to take another’s life there must be some level of dehumanization; otherwise the guilt may be too much to bear. It is a difficult tight rope to walk. On one hand, it is important to understand the way the enemy thinks to best understand how to succeed. On the other hand, it would be hard to kill someone knowing they have a loving wife and dependent family waiting for them to come home.

We watched a video of American soldiers running over a wood thief’s car. I know that the soldiers were just following orders but it still seemed unnecessarily harsh. Flexing muscles and displaying such harsh punishment dehumanizes Americans. It makes them seem more like angry brutal killing machines than people who have families and loved ones at home. It makes it easier for locals to hate them and makes them easier to kill. Then again, it is easy for me to make all these statements and assertions because I have never been a soldier. I imagine everything changes when live ammunition is being fired.

Newt and Newtress have not had sex in a hundred million years. I think that the Catholic Church could use the two pictures side by side as an advertisement. The gay people seem pretty happy right now but the more Catholic couple (ha) will be happier in heaven. Doesn’t matter how many times you cheat, pee in vajee is the only way to be.
I think that it is more shocking that we are at war and more used to seeing people in fatigues than seeing two dudes kissing. I won’t lie, I have felt uncomfortable when being hit on by another male but I don’t get offended. Why take offense to a compliment? It is your own problem if you are uncomfortable and why should anybody have to live their lives to make an ignorant demographic happy? People use their religious beliefs as a basis to judge how high above the general assembly they are. Who ever has the most blind faith and willed ignorance sit at the apex of society. It promotes the lifestyle of the humble servant and slaps the wrists of ambition. This mindset sounds similar to the rule of a tyrannical dictator. Head down, work now and eventually you will be rewarded. Manipulation at its finest. People need someone to reach out for and that is how religions started.

I don’t know what the life energy behind all of this is, and I don’t believe that we are all just existing for existence sake. I have spent a lot of time in my short life wrestling with trying to figure out a meaning and have just come up with more questions. This often made me feel hopeless and nihilistic. As of recent I have spent a lot less time wondering what the purpose is and more time just going with it. Everything in my life has worked out. Every time I have stressed about some really “important” test, about being on time, about getting into college, etc, it has worked out and here I sit. I have found that worrying and stressing are for the most part counter productive. I don’t really stress too much about school, about life, or anything in general right now because like everything else in my life, it will all work out.
This does not mean I am lazy. I do not enjoy inactivity. I don’t really watch television, follow sports, or play video games. I consider commercials to be the biggest waste of time in the history of everything. For professional sports, I sometimes have trouble being emotionally invested in something completely out of my control. Plus I played football for 10 years before college and know how difficult of a game it is. When people call out athletes for mistakes I just become angry because they most likely do not understand how difficult playing in big games can be. Plus football on TV means lots and lots of commercials. I find that the happiest times in my life are when I am working on self -improvement. This means reading, writing, working out, studying, and playing/ listening to music. I crave meaningful interesting discussion. When I am making myself a more complete and well-rounded person everything else takes care of itself.
I have been really focusing on self-improvement and learning for learning’s sake this semester and I have not really ever been happier. My attention span is longer, I have less social anxiety, my band has been booking lots of bar shows and my grades have never been better. This is coupled with daily pot smoking. Life has never been better. I pity people who stress about school to the point where they do not enjoy life. I am a double major with pre-medicine and philosophy and still have time to cool out at the end of every night and party every weekend. Eliminating time spent senselessly stressing about school frees up a lot of time to actually get schoolwork done.
As long as you have an active, questioning, inquisitive soul, shit will just work out for you. Don’t waste time worrying about anything out of your control; instead make the best of everything given. I always listen to a girl in my biology lab bitch and complain about how our TA doesn’t speak English well. She bitches about our TA while our TA is giving directions instead of paying close attention to her words. She complains about something out of her control instead of making the most of what she is given. It’s not a coincidence that she is miserable in every lab while I am buddy-buddy with the TA. People are so impatient with our friendly Asian exchange students.

I don’t expect to understand the driving force behind my Godless, heretical life until I am older and more experienced. Answers can’t be found. By self-improvement, actively trying to be a good person, and savoring of life I feel that the answers to all my questions will just appear to me when they decide to. Once I stop worrying about rewards and just live for life’s sake everything will make sense.

Bill O’Reilly once referred to the viewing demographic of the Colbert Report and the Daily Show as the “stoned slacker” crowd. Although one of these words may apply to me I’m still submitting my blog two days early. Suck it Fox. I talked about something similar in my last blog but I feel it is again pertinent. White “real Americans” are being spoon-fed supersized lies about being a persecuted minority. There is a blinding unimaginable threat that minorities, atheists, and liberals are ruining the good old hard-working Christian values in America. Colbert says that Americans are good at making generalizations about other cultures. This is such a powerful statement that he makes because so much news deals in Generalizations. O’Reilly always refers to the “Atheists” as if all atheists are one united group with a shared antichristian dogma. I feel that so much news is just propaganda. The Nazis used loaded words to inspire hatred for Jews. In Rwanda, radio stations built up hatred for Tutsis, leading to the slaughter of 800 thousand Rwandans in around 100 days. “Illegals” and “Illegal aliens” are vague inflammatory terms used only to propagate resentment for an entire race of people. It is not exclusively the people who came to America illegally who suffer from such propaganda.

I feel that it is extremely rare for any life situation to have a clear-cut answers. Everything is a paradox and every coin has two sides. Although I will never illegally enter the United States from Mexico I can still use my imagination. To risk the lives of an entire family and walk hundreds of miles across a desert is not something done nonchalantly. There must be a God damn good reason and people who do not see that are ignorant. So many Americans are ignorant, selfish, and fat because they can’t look past their own anger and laziness. People get so caught up in their own personal bubbles, accepting everything that is fed to them as willingly as they accept the Bible. People feel that by deregulating and socializing they are being patriots and sticking it to the government. Everybody likes feeling dangerous and rebellious from time to time. It’s the blind support of the ignorant that has lead to all of the economic and social troubles. How does Henry Paulson get away with bailing out Goldman Sachs when he was the ex-CEO and had 75% of the treasury department formerly employed? It’s because the banks were allowed free reign. Ah, too political, I shouldn’t open my mouth because I understand so little of the current socio-economic situation. Regardless, Hank Paulson’s face makes me sick. I forget whether it was Aristotle or Plato who talked about the degradation of Government from Kalliopolis to Tyranny, but I currently feel that we are reaching the end of the Aristocratic period and about do very bad things to the people who are stealing from the poor.

I do not really believe some of the statistics presented in this article/video. I feel that the figures about economic disparity are correct, but white people aren’t all stupid. It just seems that they often pretend to be. Er…we often pretend to be. There is no way that so many white people honestly believe that race doesn’t affect economic standing. Racist humor and stereotypes are too deeply ingrained in our culture for anybody to actually think that there is no wealth gap. I feel that there is an unspoken acceptance of the propagation of ignorance amongst white people who are scared of minorities and change.
Every neighborhood I have ever lived in has been totally white heavy. My father works in an almost entirely black community. I grew up working with my dad and because of how friendly his staff always was towards me I felt that I was totally comfortable around black people. When I realized how stupid it would be to be rude to the boss’s son, I started questioning my comfort level around non-whites. I consider myself a very outgoing person but I always had slight anxiety while talking to black people of my same age. I always felt like black people just wouldn’t like me, and similar neurotic fears of not being accepted help to spread gaps between races.
Being white means that I am a part of the majority in America, yet I have experienced anxiety about not being accepted by the much smaller numbers of black people I have interacted with. Maybe most bigots’ irrational distrust of black people can be traced back to the same roots. White people see our (half) black president on TV and hear their little white children listening to black rappers on the radio and feel uneasy. Any invasion by people of color into the perfect white middle class utopia causes intense xenophobia. White people associate blackness with crime and poverty and feel threatened. I hate to go political, but I feel that media influences such as Fox news understand how middle class whites feel intimidated and use this fear to bolster support. They try to convince middle class white conservatives that they are a persecuted minority and that they need to stay together to defend their way of life. In reality, whites are still a majority and these TV shows just give ungrounded reason to be afraid. It makes white people feel as if they have to band together and sacrifice some of their own ethical principles to defend their religion and way of life. With perceived support from the masses, people are able to indulge in their personal fears under the banner of morality and God instead of racism and bigotry.