There's no way I can wait until tonight to watch the end, so I'm going to get my post out of the way. 11 was great but there's too much forward momentum to focus on what I watched for long.

Homura's confession wasn't so much emotional for me (not compared to ep 10 at least) as it was a warning sign: She can't take much more of this; it's unreal that she's held out for as long as she has. What crushed me was watching her give up. Her greatest fears were realized in that moment, and it called back to when she was first caught in that witch's trap in episode 10: She can't do anything herself, everything she does is a disaster, she's a net burden on those she cares about, and it would be better for LITERALLY everyone if she'd never lived at all. If anything, I'm furious that she was only given a moment to wallow in the utter unfairness of this conclusion. After all she's been through.

So since this is my final chance to embarrass myself to the veterans, let me make some final predictions:

Prediction summary: Bittersweet happy ending; TPK

Homura's efforts CANNOT be in vain. I will not fucking stand for it. Therefor, Madoka's wish must be appropriately reality-warping, and Kyubey himself (if not his race) finally is on the receiving end of the unintended consequences of magic, made possible by Homura's looping.

Homura and Madoka become Kyubey's final victims, but leave behind a better world. Madoka's family MUST survive. I cannot be held responsible for my actions if any of them come to harm. It would be appropriate if Junko featured in the waning moments, as she has become a kind of moral centre for this show.

Final prediction: I will spend WAY TOO MUCH of my weekend browsing MadokaXHomura fan art.

It all comes down to this: What has Madoka learned from all the tragedy she's seen? This timeline is unlike any of the ones from 10, because Madoka has remained human, but still fully involved. She's seen the truth of magical girls first-hand, Kyubey's laid the whole system out for her, and Homura's nature has been revealed. Now, in the final episode of the show that bears her name, it is finally her turn to act, and she can base her decision on all of the factors in play; something she's never had the opportunity to do in the other timelines we saw. At last, she has every puzzle piece. It's time to put them together, and solve this tragic mess. I hope she can do it, because fuck me if I can figure it out.

I guess I'll go find out in a few minutes. See you guys on the other side

Thiiiiiiiis shoooooow... *claws at own skin*

Episode 10 - I Won’t Rely On Anyone Anymore

FJWEURE}R(QWR

*raises finger* Check, please.

I can't even be stoked about the parts I called because for every one of those, there was something worse that I'd never imagined.

Homura's blubbering, furious, incoherent scream when she had to kill Madoka is never going to leave me. There are no words for this kind of suffering.

Oh god, the title theme is about Homura. I can't do this anymore. My heart can't take it.

Mami... Mami was going to kill them because she loved them, and believed she was responsible for their unspeakable fate. One final sin to add to the pile she'd unwittingly accumulated. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

Sayaka's labyrinth entrance has graffiti on it that reads "LOVE ME DO." Also, somewhere in the city is an abandoned hotel room with a mountain of discarded food packaging and the corpse of a little girl. This show is trying to destroy me.

Does anyone have the name of that incredible orchestral piece from Sayaka's witch battle?

'basically, the universe runs on the broken dreams of little girls.'

... -_-

There are not enough synonyms for "asshole" to describe Kyubey

Oh God. There is no way out of this, is there? Everyone is just fucked in the most depressing way possible.

It's one thing to die in despair. It's another to die OF despair.

All my KyokoXSayaka shipping that seemed so cute at first... it's like this show gave me everything I could have ever wanted, but in the most horrible way imaginable.

Kyubey. Incubator. He incubates witches. I AM UPSET. I DON'T. WHAAffoa

Well hell, Homura, why don't you just go ahead and have a whole bunch of creepy shit in your house.

THIS was what I've been thinking ever since episode 6 when I realized that her flash-stepping was probably from slowing down time, rather than teleporting. I guess now that she's confirmed to be from the future (or the past, I guess, though I doubt it) I'll say that my primary prediction (after ep 6) was that the school trio was actually a foursome. Homura was Madoka's Muggle Best Friend, and this is actually the SECOND time this whole tragic story has played out. Kyubey's contract facilitated Homura's trip back through time where the time paradox erased her existence from everyone's memory. Homura went back to save Madoka's life.

Only now, as of episode 8, I amend that last part: She's back to save Madoka's SOUL.

All just speculation of course, feel free to laugh. etc. etc.

I was going to watch episode 9 before bed. But seriously, I don't think I can take any more.

I thought she was going to throw the apple in anger, but I guess it makes more sense that she'd eat it in anger. Wasting food and all.

This show is just visually stunning. I can't get over it. I didn't realize at first that Kyoko's story was supposed to be a puppet show until I saw a shot of her fiddling with the puppets. Oh.. She had a little sister.. ;_;

What kills me most of all about Sayaka's breakdown is that it seems from the subs that what finally shattered her was not losing her crush, her human form or anything else, but losing her identity as a hero. A lot of us grew up with simplistic views of what makes a person "good" or "bad", and the one blow that hit too close to home for me was when she realized how dark her own heart can be. Imagine the self-loathing that must follow a thought as unspeakable as "I would be happier now if I'd just left you to die." Homura says magical girls are no longer human. I think Sayaka may agree.

Oh God, my feels...

And oh God, Kyoko...

It's going to be so hard not to watch the rest this weekend.

Meanwhile, from the "I am a terrible person" file, in spite of all this legitimate analysis, I can't help but notice that I am shipping Kyoko and Sayaka so damn hard right now.