302 comments posted · 10 followers · following 0

7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 0 replies · +9 points

I didn't have a title yet, but it was going to be a Christmas-themed piece comparing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" unfavorably to the story of Joseph and his brethren.

8 years ago @ The Toast - So Are We Just Not Goi... · 0 replies · +64 points

Olympus has Fallen and White House Down. They even have the same title, although one of the titles has been run through some kind of pretentiousness generator.

Friends With Benefits and No Strings Attached.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +9 points

I've been traveling, so I was also late to the link roundup. Thank you, Nicole and Mallory, and congratulations. You made something wonderful, and it lasted for three years, and I'm happy you're able to bring it to a close at the right time for you. In an ideal world, would I like the robot versions of you to take over, so they can keep attacking possums and running link roundups and deleting MRAs until the end of time? Sure! But given that you are two human beings who have been working at what Oregon Trail calls "a grueling pace" for the past three years, I'm really glad that you're going to be able to do something else for awhile.

That said, I will miss this community terribly. Nicole's Playlist for Standing Outside Benedict Cumberbatch's Wedding Venue has never been more needed than it is right now.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +9 points

I have definitely seen a boutique somewhere in France called either Sophie's Choice or Le Choix de Sophie.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Everything What's Wron... · 0 replies · +1 points

He's also non-possum-like in other ways; I seem to remember that he once tried to hang by his tail from a branch and ended up falling on his head.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Everything What's Wron... · 1 reply · +2 points

We have met the enemy, and he is Mallory Ortberg.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Everything What's Wron... · 5 replies · +45 points

I am delighted to learn that I am not the only fan of this section of the Joy of Cooking. There's an event hosted by my university in which people dress as their favorite writers and read a passage out loud, and my cousin and I have seriously considered giving a performance in which I read the possum passage and she sits on stage and eats cereal.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Every Track Listing Fr... · 0 replies · +6 points

OK, I'm prepared to acknowledge the validity of your argument regarding the entire Beatles discography. But is anything, of any kind, better than the Beatles singing the Ode To Joy to a tiger in a pub?

8 years ago @ The Toast - Every Track Listing Fr... · 1 reply · +18 points

HOW can I be expected to defend possums and Bob Dylan on the same day?

I understand finding Bob Dylan's voice irritating, but I am of pretty much the opposite opinion - I don't like Bob Dylan's songs nearly as much when they're sung by someone else. To my mind, Bob Dylan's standout quality as a singer is that he can convey all the shades of meaning, and he knows what his songs mean better than anyone else does. He has so many lines that don't look like that much printed, but that have a tremendous impact on me when I hear him sing them. Cover versions just don't have the same effect, however pretty the voice doing the singing is.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +14 points

This is pretty much how I got my job (as an adjunct professor). An adjunct had just quit at the very start of the semester, so they were desperate for someone to take over his classes. I heard about the job and called the hiring manager, and she said, "I have one question. Are you in Fairbanks?" I said no, but that I could get to Fairbanks. Apparently that was good enough, because a week later I was on a plane to Fairbanks and I've been here ever since.