gdp's Comments

Wonkette : Rep. Blake Farenthold: I Did Not Have 'Wet Dreams' About Sexing That Staffer I Fired

Fri, 13 Feb 2015 23:00:52 +0000

Even if he weasals outa this harassment charge, he can't weasal outa the charge of "WEARING DUCKIE PAJAMAS IN PUBLIC WHILE SMIRKING LIKE A COMPLETE DORK" I don't know what the charge carries if convicted, but if it were up to me...well, let's just say he'd lose that smirk rather quickly.

Wonkette : Federal Judge To Alabama: Do What I F*cking Said Already!

Fri, 13 Feb 2015 14:55:52 +0000

Q: What about Lynyrd Skynyrd? A: Yes

Wonkette : Fox News: Science Is A Hoax That Steals Our Freedom And Driving Privileges

Thu, 12 Feb 2015 18:46:44 +0000

He’s so much more comfortable fighting back against the 1 percent, against companies who are changing the environment rather than against ISIS. So, can Bamz order drone strikes against BP? Goldman-Sachs? How 'bout Mittens car elevator? Just askin'.

Wonkette : Ruth Bader Ginsburg: It's OK, America, Gay Marriage Won't Hurt A Bit

Thu, 12 Feb 2015 17:30:06 +0000

Certainly Led Zeppelin IV is always a good call!

Wonkette : Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 22:14:22 +0000

It is unclear whether this exchange happened before or after Dowd called the ’08 Obama campaign “effete and vaguely foreign,” So, international idiots McGrumpy & Princess Dumbass got their asses kicked by an "effete and vaguely foreign' campaign? Okay.

Wonkette : Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 22:05:27 +0000

Uh, Governor -- follow up question, please: Do you believe in heliocentrism? Or do you wanna punt on that one, as well? Gddm these arseholes and the fkg bibul-thumpers they suck up to...

Wonkette : Obama To Ask Republicans' Permission To Bomb Ay-rabs, They Will Surely Love Him Now

Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:36:26 +0000

Maybe this is one of Obama's 11 dimensional chess moves to suddenly turn all Congressional Republicans into Amish Pacifists: "War? No way! Hell No Way!! Will will never, EVER sacrafice our young lives for Obama's war profiteers!!! Request DENIED!!!" [Hey, I can dream, can't I?]

Wonkette : Meet The WND Commenters Trying To Kill Obamacare

Mon, 9 Feb 2015 22:43:35 +0000

Gotta admit: their arguments are gonna be pretty convincing to Justices Scalia, Thomas, Alito, and Roberts. [sigh]

Wonkette : BREAKING: George Bush Never Lied About WMDs, Was Gullible Idiot All Along

Mon, 9 Feb 2015 20:46:34 +0000

Yeah, but W made up for all that with his masterful handling of the US economy. You libtards are soooo nit-picky!

Wonkette : The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah Sees Syria By The Seashore

Sat, 7 Feb 2015 19:29:58 +0000

...the teacher acted against school policy — I’d add she or he acted against the Constitution, too, by telling the student to put away the Bible — so, the principal understood part of this, anyway, not the teacher though. So when Jimmy Tippet brought that most excellent Penthouse to school (yeah, I'm an old fk), and that damn Mr. Fife confiscated it during history -- that must have been unconstitutional. Right?

Wonkette : Fox News Can't Believe Obama Said Christians Have Done Bad Stuff Too, For Jesus

Fri, 6 Feb 2015 20:40:22 +0000

You know, Obummer starting to say shit as bad as that new Pope dude. OUTRAGEOUS!

Wonkette : Florida (Congress) Man: Texas Is So Crazy, You Can't Even Have All The Dildos

Fri, 6 Feb 2015 19:54:25 +0000

Texas, Florida: people argue, debate, fight, legislate, etc. over...dildos. Around the world: people struggle with war, starvation, disease, etc. American Exceptionalism at its finest!

Wonkette : Learn This Hot New Trick To Raise Girls To Be Ladies, With Homemaking Classes

Fri, 6 Feb 2015 15:32:33 +0000

However, teaching girls to be ladies is not enough. We must also give them a strong biblical foundation from which morals and virtues can evolve. Our hope is that our daughters will someday pass along those verities to the next generation. No other priority comes close to this one in significance. I'm sure my two daughters will truly appreciate that "strong biblical foundation"... when, as provided in Exodus 21:7, I sell them off into slavery BWAAHAAHAAA [evil laughter]!!!

Wonkette : Glenn Beck: Science Is The Vatican, Anti-Vaxxers Are Galileo, I Am Still An Idiot

Wed, 4 Feb 2015 15:28:31 +0000

Well, at least this time Glenn didn't accuse the gubmint or scientists of being NAZIS!!! So, +1 point. (Which puts him at about -99 trillion + 1)

Wonkette : Bristol Palin Begs Legislators To Save America From Federal Tyranny

Mon, 2 Feb 2015 20:32:38 +0000

An amendment that outlaws straight marriage and forces all men to marry Rick Santorum? Objection, your Honor! Counsel contends said amendment is 'cruel and unusual' punishment for all men -- regardless of how much pleasure it brings Mr. Santorum.

Wonkette : Bristol Palin Begs Legislators To Save America From Federal Tyranny

Mon, 2 Feb 2015 20:25:55 +0000

Are you kidding? And waste perfectly good whiskey on someone who's just gonna mix it with Springfield lemon-lime? Shriek!!!

Wonkette : Same Jerks Who Poisoned West Virginia Back With New Name, New Toxic Spills

Sat, 24 Jan 2015 05:26:02 +0000

Leaving Gitmo open might not be a bad idea -- you know, so the judge has some options. Gawd these fkrs are almost as loathsome as Dick Cheney.

Wonkette : Tennessee To Be Next State To Insure More Kids, Despite Dastardly Obama

Fri, 16 Jan 2015 19:57:47 +0000

If Obama didn't have such a big ego and simply called it 'Reagancare', Congressional Repub's would have passed, funded and implemented it immediately under threat of capital punishment.

Wonkette : Don't Like Getting Boned By State Taxes? Just Be Filthy Rich!

Fri, 16 Jan 2015 19:50:59 +0000

With Romney back in the news as he mulls another tilt at the windmills in 2016, it’s only proper that we lash him to this issue like Ahab to the White Whale. Or like Mitt's dog to the roof of his car.

Wonkette : Anti-Choicers Gonna STRIKE! To End Abortion, Just Like Martin Luther King

Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:01:18 +0000

I predict wild success -- just like those trucker and impeach Bamz protest thingies in DC awhile back.